October 27
Ohhhhkayyyyy pic.twitter.com/JnLhxOqB2w
— Ayinde Adeleke (@lekea4) October 27, 2018
This picture of a crow is interesting because...it's actually a cat pic.twitter.com/dWqdnSL4KD
— Robert Maguire (@RobertMaguire_) October 28, 2018
October 28
George Clooney's response to @realDonaldTrump after he called him a hollywood elite is a great read. pic.twitter.com/dif0dqdOmb
— Ozzymoto #Resists 🇺🇸 🇳🇴 🌊 (@Ozzymoto27) October 28, 2018
"Ralph Breaks the Internet" has got to be the first children's movie named after a viral picture of an ass.
— Mike Ginn (@shutupmikeginn) October 29, 2018
October 29
nasa employee: oh hey u guys are back early
— dustin Couch (@Dustinkcouch) October 30, 2018
astronaut: moon's haunted
nasa employee: what?
astronaut: *loading a pistol and getting back on the rocket-ship* moon's haunted
it's hilarious and awesome that we invented telephones, used them for a hundred years, and then collectively decided they were awkward and stressful and we just wanted to send very fast letters instead
— Deth J. Sickinson (@sethjdickinson) October 29, 2018
Halloween is canceled pic.twitter.com/bu65MUQDwp
— Dwight (@keepdwightgirl) October 29, 2018
October 30
[First Date]
— Octopus/Caveman (@OctopusCaveman) October 30, 2018
My butt: You have a very urgent call from 'FART'
Me: Take a message!
My butt: I'm sorry sir but he insists
Surefire Intelligence's "Financial Investigator" in Zurich is Christoph Waltz. What a great hire! pic.twitter.com/Leu1KLe0XC
— Aric Toler (@AricToler) October 30, 2018
TRUMP: "I've decided to eat babies."
— Chuck Wendig (@ChuckWendig) October 30, 2018
PEOPLE: "He can't eat babies, that's super illegal."
TRUMP, on TV, eating babies, not even cooking them first: "People are saying that I really am the best baby-eater, folks."
NYT: "Trump Vs. Babies: The Rhetoric On Both Sides Must Stop"
Jacob Wohl trying to scam Robert Mueller is like the scene in the first 10 minutes of every Terminator film where a guy punches the robot and breaks his hand
— Mike Drucker (@MikeDrucker) October 30, 2018
October 31
Squirrel and Halloween pic.twitter.com/eNl8y0lMDA
— Gaml .y (@m_yosry2012) October 31, 2018
This is like watching someone get their virginity back. https://t.co/FRY21fLoYg
— Jordan Foisy (@JordanFoisy) October 31, 2018
DANZIG: I'm gonna take your daughter out tonight. I'm gonna show her my world.
— keith buckley (@deathoftheparty) October 31, 2018
FATHER: sounds good Danzig
Therapist: So, how are yo—
— Natasha Rothwell (@natasharothwell) October 31, 2018
Me: This. I want to talk about this. https://t.co/ppAMpZJ2n7
November 1
This is literally just a graph proving people had to google your dumbass to figure out who you are https://t.co/xpUkyB8NTM
— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) November 1, 2018
did twitter just realize how many nazis are on here https://t.co/DZyfWBvKof
— Sarah Beattie (@nachosarah) November 1, 2018
The marijuana legalization in Canada is really working out for the best. pic.twitter.com/rNuQsxgeGw
— Ronald Funches (@RonFunches) November 1, 2018
November 2
I'm bored. Look out.
— God (@TheTweetOfGod) November 2, 2018
[banner at Robot University]
— Steve vs Ninjas (@stevevsninjas) November 2, 2018
Welcome Aluminumni
We should listen to Trump and get rid of the idiot that pardoned the Sheriff that released this guy.https://t.co/3TwtayEURY
— Tea Pain (@TeaPainUSA) November 2, 2018