This Funny Week in Funny Tweets: November 23, 2018
There is plenty of scientific evidence that gender identity is real. However, science is yet to prove that Doug Ford's PC's are humans capable of empathy and cogent thought.— Colin Mochrie (@colinmochrie) November 18, 2018
"The floors of the forest." "Raking and cleaning and doing things." I will never get used to the fact that our President is a fucking moron.— Rob Reiner (@robreiner) November 17, 2018
RT if you would love to see Saudi crown prince Mohammed bin Salman host SNL.— Michael A. Balazo (@mbalazo) November 18, 2018
starting to think this show sucks extreme amounts of shit pic.twitter.com/liMDK1hVcv— Chase Woodruff (@dcwoodruff) November 18, 2018
Someone left a copy of their screenplay at the record store????????? pic.twitter.com/xHFz9IUWYF— karina unleashed (@karinasoni) November 18, 2018
Some facts on CA wildfires for @realDonaldTrump:— Mike Levin (@MikeLevinCA) November 18, 2018
-Your administration cut funding for fire prevention.
-70% of CA land is federally owned and current fires are mostly on federal land.
-Climate change is real and is making the fires worse.
-More rakes won't solve the problem.
The market is saturated with podcasts that try to solve cold cases so instead I'm going to start a podcast that actively impedes an ongoing murder investigation— pixelated still too early for a christmas name (@pixelatedboat) November 20, 2018
My dad tried ordering fake teeth online to improve his smile, description said they promised it would.......well pic.twitter.com/sExYGuuu6Q— 🍾 (@LawrenceKailey) November 19, 2018
Y'all need to watch this, at some point she knew there's something wrong with her Dad 😂😂😂😂😂 that look on her face pic.twitter.com/nhYsBjPrmr— SOCIAL PRODIGY ®️ (@Yourwavygod) November 19, 2018
How f*cking stupid or entitled do you have to be to use personal email for WH business when your dad makes that the cornerstone of his relentless criticism of his political opponent?— JackiSchechner (@JackiSchechner) November 19, 2018
So this has just appeared on a bench on my local high street pic.twitter.com/Je9lvNsZX8— Victoria Richards (@nakedvix) November 19, 2018
A millennial savings account is just a twitter account with 10k followers just in case you need to crowdfund for medical bills— alyssa (@alyssakeiko) November 20, 2018
GOP, for last 25 years: "Hillary helped cover up a murder!"— Jess Dweck (@TheDweck) November 20, 2018
(Trump actually helps cover up a murder)
GOP: "Look, murder is a complicated issue. Webster's Dictionary defines 'kill' as..."
An old lady started talking to me in line at the supermarket today. She said she was 99. Sorry, you old bag-o-bones, there's only one 99: Wayne freaking Gretzky.— Dave Shumka (@daveshumka) November 21, 2018
why is trump pardoning a turkey did it murder a journalist— Sarah Beattie (@nachosarah) November 20, 2018
i have a playlist titled russian roulette which is composed of under pressure by queen like 10 times and ice ice baby by vanilla ice once— kelly (@kelllicopter) November 21, 2018
Steven Crowder is Canadian.— Chanukah Channah 🕎 (@coollady42) November 21, 2018
Jordan Peterson is Canadian.
Lauren Souther is Canadian.
Stefan Molyneux is Canadian.
Gavin McInnes is Canadian. #BuildTheWall
Excited to post "The Mayflower was a caravan, bitch!" on the facebook pages of everyone from my hometown tomorrow.— itsonlyzach (@itsonlyzach) November 21, 2018
Scientist Runs Over Man With Truck. pic.twitter.com/5yogPTP8E6— Dave Anthony: "Vote for Rancid Ham 2020" (@daveanthony) November 22, 2018
No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. Nooooooo. NO. NO. NO. FUCK. NO. NO. AHHHHHH. NOOOOOOOO. PLEASE! No. No. No. No. No. No. I quit. No. No. No. *rips face off* No. No. No. No. No. No. No. I can keep going. No. No. No. We will march. No. No. AHHHHHH. No faith left in humanity. No. No https://t.co/3LRkKAl91S— #EvanRachelWould (@evanrachelwood) November 22, 2018
I was asked to make a dessert 🦃✌🏽 pic.twitter.com/9dsF1EvJf7— Sohail (@sideofhail) November 22, 2018
Macy's Parade— Weenage Tasteland Classic™️ (@YOUWONTBELAFFIN) November 22, 2018
-literally just a 3-hr commercial for NBC properties
-everyone looks cold as fuck
Westminster dog show
-the commercials also have dogs in them
-everyone looks delighted to see the dogs
"BUT WHEN IS IT WHITE FRIDAY!?" pic.twitter.com/Nou9Mb1en7— 𝘋𝘳. 𝘕𝘰𝘸𝘵 (@Dr_Nowt) November 22, 2018
Alexa commercial where reminders left by mom help dad care for baby -— feminist next door (@emrazz) November 23, 2018
Everyone: aw that's adorable
Me: but why is she proud of him for following instructions to complete the basic parenting tasks she does every day though
For sure Justin Trudeau has had to convince Sophie not to get dreadlocks— Jordan Foisy (@JordanFoisy) November 23, 2018
Wow. I picked a bad night to camp outside of a Best Buy— harrison (@harriweinreb) November 23, 2018