November 10
When you've been fucking around all day and mom asks how far along you are with your homework pic.twitter.com/DisQQsp8Wg
— Ken Klippenstein (@kenklippenstein) November 10, 2018
People died in a fire and he's on the side of the fire https://t.co/w78sGqak6O
— Jess Dweck (@TheDweck) November 10, 2018
What @realDonaldTrump's afraid of:
— Chuck Schumer (@SenSchumer) November 11, 2018
1. Putin
2. Mueller
3. Rain
The President cancelled his visit to an American cemetery in France to mark 100 years since WWI. Even if the helicopters couldn't fly, he could've driven. He must just be afraid of a little rain.
Ruth Bader Ginsburg got back to work 1 day after breaking 3 ribs.
— YS (@NYinLA2121) November 10, 2018
Donald Trump didn't go to work today because it was raining.
Hi, Satan! I'm an ER doc. If you add up every gummy bear, cue ball, or copy of your shitty books Ive pulled out of orifices, it doesnt even approach the number of moms Ive had to tell their kids are dead from guns. Stick w/the xenophobia+racism youre so good at and GTFO our lane. https://t.co/HaAH2ZNXhR
— Rick Pescatore, DO (@Rick_Pescatore) November 10, 2018
November 11
We do examine assholes all day so it does make us an expert on them. You qualify https://t.co/yRQTZnGqQr
— Cathleen London MD (@DrChaya) November 11, 2018
i found this on facebook and i am HOWLING I TELL YOU. HOWLING. pic.twitter.com/iznY4FFch0
— meeks (@mikawirth_) November 12, 2018
not a cell phone in sight. just people living in the moment. pic.twitter.com/Wf9QkWVLGZ
— king boo's laugh (@bakertbh) November 11, 2018
When you work alone a lot.
— laney (@misslaneym) November 12, 2018
pic.twitter.com/DPdkVC5B0i
November 12
I figured it out! EVERY song on The Beatles White Album is about @realDonaldTrump pic.twitter.com/KtxVDuTvOz
— Just Tim Heidecker (@timheidecker) November 12, 2018
probably the biggest difference between app developers and bakers is that bakers don't believe all government, infrastructure and social services should be replaced by baked goods
— thomas violence (@thomas_violence) November 13, 2018
A lovely tribute pic.twitter.com/tYvyhIdWAO
— Danny Gottleib (@dgottleib) November 12, 2018
November 13
Some of my friends are like "its hard making ends meet on only 70,000 dollars a year" and I'm like "I hope the government still has unmarked paupers graves so my nieces wont be burdened with the costs of burying me"
— Jennifer McAuliffe (@JenniferJokes) November 14, 2018
Another comedy show, another slew of male comics who say they're afraid of commitment while wearing pants they've had since 9th grade
— Babs Gray (@BabsGray) November 13, 2018
this Juliette Lewis Instagram video is the only thing I want to talk about for the rest of the year pic.twitter.com/envJ3edbyf
— frank costa (@feistyfrank) November 13, 2018
Now That I, Jaws, Have A Combustible Air Tank In My Mouth And A Gun Pointed At Me, Will The Fishermen Put Partisanship Aside And Work Together? — MY COLUMN https://t.co/MrLrJ2qkoU
— Justin Halpern (@justin_halpern) November 13, 2018
November 14
my parents asked if I was safe in California and I sent them this picture pic.twitter.com/OZP3HHYMSb
— Matt O'Brien (@matt_obrien) November 14, 2018
Thanksgiving and Christmas should be six months apart. Absurd to see those people again so soon. Insane.
— Chase Mitchell (@ChaseMit) November 14, 2018
lead singers at dads leaving a
— joshy (@jxshadams) November 14, 2018
a concert restaurant
🤝
"you guys ready to rock and roll?"
never related to anything more in my life pic.twitter.com/lVcBng1Q3j
— 🚁Sky Wob🚁 (@WorldWideWob) November 15, 2018
just in case you're having a bad day, enjoy this video of my sister realizing that we don't live inside the earth 💀 pic.twitter.com/oVYjFOH559
— SydSyd (@LoveMahalHappy) November 15, 2018
i can't believe celine dion ended gender and made all babies goths. 2018 has been saved pic.twitter.com/37pzYQjQfb
— fiona 💞 (@neonfiona) November 15, 2018
Oh no! They discovered our vast conspiracy to take care of children and save the planet 😂 pic.twitter.com/XYWXmi3Xyk
— Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (@Ocasio2018) November 14, 2018
November 15
ten writing rules
— Alexandra Petri (@petridishes) November 15, 2018
1. find exactly the right place to sit
2. better get coffee also
3. turn off the internet we're WRITING
4. but i have a question only the internet can answer
5. more coffee!
6. maybe i got an important email
7. how is the coffee shop closing
8. oh no
my last 4 brain cells when i need to be productive pic.twitter.com/f9nCsrNk4q
— gabi (@harleivy) November 16, 2018
The sign language interpreter doing the Brexit Agreement on BBC News is perfectly conveying the perplexing fuckery of this situation #Brexit #BrexitChaos pic.twitter.com/bA66SYMXqN
— Ell Potter (@Pottell) November 15, 2018
Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez claims to hate capitalism and yet i count three capital letters in her very own name
— Ben Rosen (@ben_rosen) November 16, 2018
This should be a new loading screen. pic.twitter.com/Xo1zKPIPvB
— You Had One Job (@_youhadonejob1) November 15, 2018
November 16
The photo of House Republicans celebrating AHCA in the Rose Garden is turning into the "Layla" montage from "Goodfellas."https://t.co/7VYRuRzcAZ
— Dave Weigel (@daveweigel) November 16, 2018
Losing Bill Goldman made me cry. My favorite book of all time is The Princess Bride. I was honored he allowed me to make it into a movie. I visited with him last Saturday. He was very weak but his mind still had the Goldman edge. I told him I loved him. He smiled & said fuck you.
— Rob Reiner (@robreiner) November 16, 2018
butch cassidy implies the existence of a femme cassidy
— blaine capatch (@blainecapatch) November 16, 2018