I'm crushing your head, Sideshow Bob still wants Bart dead, Cecily Strong enjoys some red, what Toni Morrison once said, and much more from this week in funny tweets.<br>
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<strong>May 21</strong>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">I like when people with kids complain about how easy childless couples have it. Like yeah, I know. That's the point!</p>
— Travis Helwig (@travishelwig) <a href="https://twitter.com/travishelwig/status/1395867836870918145?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">May 21, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="und" dir="ltr"><a href="https://t.co/24myiDxzZO">pic.twitter.com/24myiDxzZO</a></p>
— j (@silvergelpen) <a href="https://twitter.com/silvergelpen/status/1395854483951861761?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">May 21, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">gen z making fun of their parents for believing everything they see on facebook when they do the exact same shit just with different form of social media 😭</p>
— tingting (@gardenchae) <a href="https://twitter.com/gardenchae/status/1395941041115705344?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">May 22, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">this is an uncomfortably specific number of horses <a href="https://t.co/rrfqaKHFau">pic.twitter.com/rrfqaKHFau</a></p>
— katie (@supermathskid) <a href="https://twitter.com/supermathskid/status/1395858128013561862?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">May 21, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<strong>May 22</strong>

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<p lang="und" dir="ltr"><a href="https://t.co/uNrhS6afp6">pic.twitter.com/uNrhS6afp6</a></p>
— big brain posts (@BigBrainPosting) <a href="https://twitter.com/BigBrainPosting/status/1396206534854549504?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">May 22, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Jeanine Pirro! <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/SNLFinale?src=hash&amp;ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#SNLFinale</a> <a href="https://t.co/XKMB9p2jgi">pic.twitter.com/XKMB9p2jgi</a></p>
— Saturday Night Live - SNL (@nbcsnl) <a href="https://twitter.com/nbcsnl/status/1396326749672255488?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">May 23, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Oh wait <a href="https://t.co/SGKbUXiuMH">pic.twitter.com/SGKbUXiuMH</a></p>
— Chico DSA 🌹 (@chicodsa) <a href="https://twitter.com/chicodsa/status/1396202892311154688?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">May 22, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="und" dir="ltr"><a href="https://t.co/0PQHOfbWAo">pic.twitter.com/0PQHOfbWAo</a></p>
— CAPYBARA MAN (@CAPYBARA_MAN) <a href="https://twitter.com/CAPYBARA_MAN/status/1396181472764125189?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">May 22, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Fucking finally <a href="https://t.co/Po5e5Uv4go">pic.twitter.com/Po5e5Uv4go</a></p>
— Vaccinated Opossum 5g (@AnAngryOpossum) <a href="https://twitter.com/AnAngryOpossum/status/1396288389972910083?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">May 23, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<strong>May 23</strong>

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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Never in my life heard a story about a hamster dying peacefully. It's always some crazy shit.</p>
— gaslight🤎gatekeep⁉️girlboss (@JAjueny) <a href="https://twitter.com/JAjueny/status/1396680661306646529?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">May 24, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">i wasn't productive at all during the pandemic but it was actually my first pandemic so i think that's fine</p>
— tony (@tony_ferraro7) <a href="https://twitter.com/tony_ferraro7/status/1396601946874818565?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">May 23, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="und" dir="ltr"><a href="https://t.co/iGxjZhbZOb">pic.twitter.com/iGxjZhbZOb</a></p>
— place where cat shouldn't be (@catshouldnt) <a href="https://twitter.com/catshouldnt/status/1396614153851207685?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">May 23, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">"All of Olivia Rodrigos' songs are breakup songs" did you want her to write about the civil war??</p>
— G. L. Di Vittorio (@ginadivittorio) <a href="https://twitter.com/ginadivittorio/status/1396514015665397766?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">May 23, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<strong>May 24</strong>

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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">dropped my pet bird off at the vet earlier and now they're not answering my calls. I'm sure it's fine <a href="https://t.co/KLakgzUOZT">pic.twitter.com/KLakgzUOZT</a></p>
— adrian 2: a post-moderna man (@crawf34) <a href="https://twitter.com/crawf34/status/1397020188369883136?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">May 25, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Looks like Sideshow Bob is back on the loose. <a href="https://t.co/t4U1LNMg4l">pic.twitter.com/t4U1LNMg4l</a></p>
— No Context Brits (@NoContextBrits) <a href="https://twitter.com/NoContextBrits/status/1396826743730806785?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">May 24, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">JLo and Ben Affleck are back together, Lindsay Lohan is starring in a new movie, and I'm living in my parents house. Hello 2004</p>
— Yiannis Cove (@ycove) <a href="https://twitter.com/ycove/status/1396971021434068993?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">May 24, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<strong>May 25</strong>

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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">this is one of my favorite out of context movie scenes <a href="https://t.co/tAXdDWjfCg">pic.twitter.com/tAXdDWjfCg</a></p>
— Brock (@lethalprotxctor) <a href="https://twitter.com/lethalprotxctor/status/1397341777917530115?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">May 26, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Celebrity: I want to apologize for my public statement in support of oppressed people.</p>
— Walker Bragman (@WalkerBragman) <a href="https://twitter.com/WalkerBragman/status/1397199518744162310?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">May 25, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">this is so fucking funny <a href="https://t.co/VE5PYuzmci">pic.twitter.com/VE5PYuzmci</a></p>
— doom country 🕷🕸 (@godswallowing) <a href="https://twitter.com/godswallowing/status/1397280008876568585?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">May 25, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<strong>May 26</strong>

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Stop assuming everyone hates you, only 6 people do</p>
— Jeremyah Schur (@SchurJeremyah) <a href="https://twitter.com/SchurJeremyah/status/1397702428133371905?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">May 26, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">The Voice has had 20 seasons and I can't name not ONE winner ... Someone explain to me how that show is still on the air</p>
— Kasper or Chucky (@tha_jerk2012) <a href="https://twitter.com/tha_jerk2012/status/1397724755416039425?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">May 27, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="und" dir="ltr"><a href="https://t.co/jwectTCyOU">pic.twitter.com/jwectTCyOU</a></p>
— J (@HeSlimedMeRay) <a href="https://twitter.com/HeSlimedMeRay/status/1397611367054577670?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">May 26, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">The reality is we have a sharp partisan divide in this country. And that divide is largely over reality.</p>
— Dan Rather (@DanRather) <a href="https://twitter.com/DanRather/status/1397530575045492747?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">May 26, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<strong>May 27</strong>

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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">one of the bests <a href="https://t.co/KROeoNZqOQ">pic.twitter.com/KROeoNZqOQ</a></p>
— vanessa a. #fartbee 🐝✌🏾 (@Vanessa_ABee) <a href="https://twitter.com/Vanessa_ABee/status/1397925866487705601?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">May 27, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">I met Toni Morrison during a book signing and I had two books to sign and she would only sign one and I was complaining and she acted like she didn't hear me then looked at me and said "your audacity is fascinating, go take the world" I kid you not</p>
— No Quarter Will Be Given (@chaedria) <a href="https://twitter.com/chaedria/status/1397925251984498708?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">May 27, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Okay, what?? <a href="https://t.co/rZkH8ps4S1">pic.twitter.com/rZkH8ps4S1</a></p>
— Niko Stratis (@nikostratis) <a href="https://twitter.com/nikostratis/status/1397905394614288390?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">May 27, 2021</a></blockquote>
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Vish Khanna

This Funny Week in Funny Tweets: May 28, 2021

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