Skeleton on balcony, student humility, 13 going on 30, lives in your head rent free, and much more from this week in funny tweets.<br>
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<strong>May 7</strong>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">here's a picture from several years ago when, in an airport, i saw a guy trying to wear cowboy boots under skinny jeans <a href="https://t.co/42ahVgUQF2">pic.twitter.com/42ahVgUQF2</a></p>
— michael lutz (@WarrenIsDead) <a href="https://twitter.com/WarrenIsDead/status/1390788199425974276?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">May 7, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Oh f*ck oh no <a href="https://t.co/9X8A2WRCSm">pic.twitter.com/9X8A2WRCSm</a></p>
— Vinny Thomas ¡ (@vinn_ayy) <a href="https://twitter.com/vinn_ayy/status/1390863405557461004?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">May 8, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Tears.<br>
<br>
Literal tears. <a href="https://t.co/ExqGDiCjaV">pic.twitter.com/ExqGDiCjaV</a></p>
— Andrew (Tray) (@MotivatedS1) <a href="https://twitter.com/MotivatedS1/status/1390739923918102529?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">May 7, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Soooo I turn 30 next year and my sister turns 13... Our bdays are a month apart.... so what I'm saying is I need to convince this child to have a 13 going on 30 themed party with me</p>
— chelsea 🏳️‍🌈 (@orbitingoccult) <a href="https://twitter.com/orbitingoccult/status/1390705266308550660?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">May 7, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Perhaps the best one-liner in a student paper this semester, "The analysis is severely limited by my lack of understanding of what I am doing." <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/humility?src=hash&amp;ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#humility</a></p>
— Paul Shafer (@shaferpr) <a href="https://twitter.com/shaferpr/status/1390774322239705091?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">May 7, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<strong>May 8</strong>

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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Trying to explain to my husband that back in the 90s there was a brief window of time where we were all into Gregorian chants set to techno music</p>
— Amy Jones (@amylaurajones) <a href="https://twitter.com/amylaurajones/status/1391213061495828483?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">May 9, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">i've been locked inside your bart-shaped box for weeks <a href="https://t.co/xSbFypT6NO">pic.twitter.com/xSbFypT6NO</a></p>
— Mr. Spike R. Monster 🦇 (@spikermonster) <a href="https://twitter.com/spikermonster/status/1391213633787531269?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">May 9, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">oh FUCK YES LOOK WHAT CAME <a href="https://t.co/ZGltoBtO53">pic.twitter.com/ZGltoBtO53</a></p>
— **KRETCH!** Carlson (@scottythered) <a href="https://twitter.com/scottythered/status/1391100961427312643?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">May 8, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">twitter says i "liked" ur tweet, but i loved it. i love u.</p>
— J (@oneofonej) <a href="https://twitter.com/oneofonej/status/1391184486398709760?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">May 9, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">i have faced more peer pressure to drink oat milk than to do drugs</p>
— Kei Lun 麒麟音樂 (@KeiLunMusic) <a href="https://twitter.com/KeiLunMusic/status/1391111633569783808?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">May 8, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">I came up with my passwords when I was nine and never looked back</p>
— LN (@abernothing) <a href="https://twitter.com/abernothing/status/1391225111563358210?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">May 9, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<strong>May 9</strong>

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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">We don't talk about this enough <a href="https://t.co/e6V2c4MlV3">pic.twitter.com/e6V2c4MlV3</a></p>
— """Lydia Ogwang""" (@lydiaohh) <a href="https://twitter.com/lydiaohh/status/1391477797957349376?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">May 9, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">yeah not falling for this one <a href="https://t.co/JGD0BSrMXG">pic.twitter.com/JGD0BSrMXG</a></p>
— nick (@JucheMane) <a href="https://twitter.com/JucheMane/status/1391445489816686601?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">May 9, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">flight attendant: are you comfortable operating the emergency door?<br>
<br>
me: [just asked for help with my seatbelt] absolutely</p>
— the hype (@TheHyyyype) <a href="https://twitter.com/TheHyyyype/status/1391508153141956608?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">May 9, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Happy Mothers Day! <a href="https://t.co/B5k9tnUu2H">pic.twitter.com/B5k9tnUu2H</a></p>
— Alex (@hellohubbard) <a href="https://twitter.com/hellohubbard/status/1391428425395671043?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">May 9, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">I love my mom so much...she hated driving so if I "missed the bus" for school she'd be like "well guess you're staying home" and she'd go back to sleep...that is exactly the type of mom I want to be.</p>
— Sarah Hagi (@KindaHagi) <a href="https://twitter.com/KindaHagi/status/1391446408604131331?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">May 9, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Nobody :<br>
<br>
My mother during the 1st quarantine: <a href="https://t.co/6xDqMoQUT8">pic.twitter.com/6xDqMoQUT8</a></p>
— Ahmed 🕊 (@Ahmedchats) <a href="https://twitter.com/Ahmedchats/status/1391369898509602816?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">May 9, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<strong>May 10</strong>

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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Damn, they're getting desperate <a href="https://t.co/E7KzDfBBL4">pic.twitter.com/E7KzDfBBL4</a></p>
— Billy for real (not a bit) (@Your_Pal_Billy) <a href="https://twitter.com/Your_Pal_Billy/status/1391755321979326469?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">May 10, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Y'all cyberattack everything but student loans and it's so annoying. Focus.</p>
— Gabriel (@SmediumYSLTees) <a href="https://twitter.com/SmediumYSLTees/status/1391745778780082177?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">May 10, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">I forgot how expensive outside is. wow</p>
— Jessica Cisneros (@JCisnerosTX) <a href="https://twitter.com/JCisnerosTX/status/1391900775023063042?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">May 10, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">fuck therapy, i need to Make A Big Purchase.</p>
— 𝗰𝗮𝗹𝗲𝗯 𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗼𝗻 (@calebsaysthings) <a href="https://twitter.com/calebsaysthings/status/1391969793322803203?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">May 11, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">i took a bath for the first time (i have showered my entire adult life) before bed last night and i slept for 10 hours — dead to the world, coma sleep. i feel like bath people are hiding this crucial piece of information from us.</p>
— alex (@alex_abads) <a href="https://twitter.com/alex_abads/status/1391753090030882823?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">May 10, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">incredible headline <a href="https://t.co/U8TzQjoVnC">pic.twitter.com/U8TzQjoVnC</a></p>
— Armand Domalewski (@ArmandDoma) <a href="https://twitter.com/ArmandDoma/status/1391870724755841035?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">May 10, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="und" dir="ltr"><a href="https://t.co/BFDmiIVtM2">pic.twitter.com/BFDmiIVtM2</a></p>
— Ben Rosen (@ben_rosen) <a href="https://twitter.com/ben_rosen/status/1391887094415429632?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">May 10, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<strong>May 11</strong>

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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">"Nobody wants to work anymore" has big time "Girls don't want to date nice guys" energy</p>
— Brad Batt for TN State Sanity ✊🏼✊🏽✊🏾 (@bradbatt) <a href="https://twitter.com/bradbatt/status/1392170364814479364?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">May 11, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Did a tick write this tweet <a href="https://t.co/3BMskIYDKI">https://t.co/3BMskIYDKI</a></p>
— dj fuck (@eggshellfriend) <a href="https://twitter.com/eggshellfriend/status/1392263323689832450?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">May 11, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">water gently running through a stream:<br>
<br>
beavers: i have got to stop this</p>
— cor y (@coolmathgame_) <a href="https://twitter.com/coolmathgame_/status/1392292756962217992?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">May 12, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">there is literally nothing in our lease that says we CAN'T have a skeleton on our balcony….. this is fucked <a href="https://t.co/xnPdVmQ4nn">pic.twitter.com/xnPdVmQ4nn</a></p>
— tiff!🧋 (@teeaap) <a href="https://twitter.com/teeaap/status/1392264916367642628?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">May 11, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">This student created his own cozy atmosphere today and I absolutely love it 😂 <a href="https://t.co/xBQKeJAQxj">pic.twitter.com/xBQKeJAQxj</a></p>
— Ms. Mileham (@MariMilehamIHES) <a href="https://twitter.com/MariMilehamIHES/status/1392204821160157185?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">May 11, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">This dude bowled a perfect game on 9/11 <a href="https://t.co/ahVKdUR3A1">pic.twitter.com/ahVKdUR3A1</a></p>
— Slurm King (@slurm_king) <a href="https://twitter.com/slurm_king/status/1392191880293765121?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">May 11, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<strong>May 12</strong>

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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">People really hear the phrase "lives in your head rent free" and think 'wow, that's clever. I'll say that seven thousand times'</p>
— Hbomberguy (@Hbomberguy) <a href="https://twitter.com/Hbomberguy/status/1392600428861435907?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">May 12, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">If you hate settler colonialism wait til you hear about Canada</p>
— Hilary Agro 🍄 (@hilaryagro) <a href="https://twitter.com/hilaryagro/status/1392624296548347906?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">May 12, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">help this guy find a fucked up shirt <a href="https://t.co/R4ey0hnT9a">https://t.co/R4ey0hnT9a</a></p>
— Fucked Up (@FUCKEDUP) <a href="https://twitter.com/FUCKEDUP/status/1392533808910671873?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">May 12, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Oh no! <a href="https://t.co/RrN3HOnMRa">https://t.co/RrN3HOnMRa</a></p>
— Dionne Warwick (@dionnewarwick) <a href="https://twitter.com/dionnewarwick/status/1392520520973815819?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">May 12, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">This dude beat me in Madden so bad I told him I was 11 years old <a href="https://t.co/aHh0rOmWfK">pic.twitter.com/aHh0rOmWfK</a></p>
— Crashtopher Columbus (@Crash_The_King) <a href="https://twitter.com/Crash_The_King/status/1392500568564895750?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">May 12, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<strong>May 13</strong>

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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Racist white dudes suddenly realizing what Rage Against the Machine stands for after decades of listening is the funniest thing since they discovered that Star Wars is anti-Nazi after watching it for 40 years</p>
— The Volatile Mermaid (@OhNoSheTwitnt) <a href="https://twitter.com/OhNoSheTwitnt/status/1392863238723866624?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">May 13, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">The CDC says that unvaccinated people can now pretend to be vaccinated</p>
— Mohanad Elshieky (@MohanadElshieky) <a href="https://twitter.com/MohanadElshieky/status/1392927706224939009?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">May 13, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">CDC said I don't have to wear a bra ever again either</p>
— Ayo Edebiri (@ayoedebiri) <a href="https://twitter.com/ayoedebiri/status/1392919926420099073?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">May 13, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">It's possible the CDC saw a bunch of us trying to hoard gasoline in old Burger King cups and just gave up</p>
— Mark Agee (@MarkAgee) <a href="https://twitter.com/MarkAgee/status/1392923826682359809?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">May 13, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">finally we can get back to the way things were 🥰 <a href="https://t.co/9ZyVr8DoNz">pic.twitter.com/9ZyVr8DoNz</a></p>
— j̴̢͘҉i̸̢͞z̛̛̀҉͞z̡͞w̶̵̢͜͞i̡͘t̸͝͝c̸͝h̀͏ (@fingerbIaster) <a href="https://twitter.com/fingerbIaster/status/1392936433418006528?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">May 13, 2021</a></blockquote>
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Vish Khanna

This Funny Week in Funny Tweets: May 14, 2021

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