The Kendall Jenner Pepsi ad comes back, police everywhere attack, a cop march get the evil Star Wars soundtrack, actually hire people who are Black, and much more from this week in funny tweets.

May 30

How is it "Get over slavery" but 9/11 is "never forget"?
— Ja'Vell ✍🏾 (@jvizzle757) May 30, 2020

But they were fine with opening bars & restaurants and sending people back to work. https://t.co/KDpWpFA7wh
— Donovan Copeland (@cxcope) May 30, 2020

Imagine if we could have deployed the National Guard this quickly to test millions of people in March.
— Julio Ricardo Varela (@julito77) May 31, 2020

"Fuck this!" - Murder Hornets
— Matt Oswalt (@MattOswaltVA) May 30, 2020

"name one time Trump was racist," Okay, I will

1973: The Nixon administration sued Trump for refusing to rent to black people.

1980s: Trump's casinos were accused of hiding the black staff when Trump visited.
— B ✨ 𝐀𝐂𝐀𝐁 (@honeyrainfall) May 30, 2020

To everyone claiming "violence never works" tell me, how exactly do you think slavery ended? The slaves sang Kumbaya until the plantation owners felt guilty?
— TJ 🇱🇨🇯🇲 (@Quantum_King_) May 30, 2020

If you marched in a pink pussy hat but you won't stand with black Americans, your feminism isn't intersectional, it's performance (and bullshit)
— Frances Patano (@FrancesPatano) May 30, 2020

You got Martin Luther King Jrs KIDS on Twitter telling y'all what it is, and ppl trying to tell them about their father 😭 like what
— NBA YoungMan (@Aaronaod) May 30, 2020

Now would be a good time to remind Everyone that this happened earlier this month. No tear gas. No bullets. https://t.co/58Sc6ngn3R
— Qasim Basir (@qasimabasir) May 31, 2020

May 31

This is the state of affairs. It's time to remove Trump, 25th amendment, escorted out by military, whatever. He needs to go, and even after that, our country and society will still be a racist, unequal, corrupt mess. https://t.co/NK31VU2s2V
— Tony (@TonyAtamanuik) June 1, 2020

did the White House really turn the lights off like it's Halloween and they ran out of Snickers
— david byrnes scream at the end of road to nowhere (@rachelmillman) June 1, 2020

wait i forgot, are we under disease curfew or racism curfew
— Shaun Scott🌹🤝 (@eyesonthestorm) June 1, 2020

if only there was some way this team could do something about racism. https://t.co/49gBwWyrxQ
— vicky mochama (@vmochama) May 31, 2020

pic.twitter.com/geMxOQAV4w
— bhasy (@notallbhas) May 31, 2020

"...so then he said, "Sure you're Michael Jordan but there's no way you could end racism." And I said, "Ok. That's fine. I'll show you." And the next day I dropped 50 on racism." https://t.co/2C00jKdeI7
— Ronny Chieng (@ronnychieng) June 1, 2020

Wanna see what some of your EVIL looters look like?? https://t.co/hbL6jUOTOY
— ICE T (@FINALLEVEL) June 1, 2020

You know, I always wanted to know what it would be like to simultaneously experience the Spanish flu, Great Depression, and 1968 mass protests while Andrew Johnson was president.
— Miranda Yaver (@mirandayaver) May 31, 2020

Y'all can understand a white kid shooting up a school cuz he was bullied after 4 months of school but don't understand why an oppressed group is compelled to burn shit down after 400yrs
— Oski Isaiah (@MoneyOsk) May 31, 2020

Y'all worried about losing followers??? JESUS HAD 12.
— tahjá 安详 (@tahjaserene) May 31, 2020

If you're a white woman who has ever used a Lizzo lyric in an Instagram caption you have to donate to a bail fund that's the rule
— Nicole Fonsh (@nicolefonsh) May 31, 2020

black people do not call themselves "colored". 🤦🏾‍♂️ https://t.co/bUz4o3wfFS
— MADE IN TOKYO 🎌 (@madeintyo) May 31, 2020

What the fuck is this @CBCNews you bootlickers https://t.co/uPGCBkwPqL
— Jordan Foisy (@JordanFoisy) May 31, 2020

June 1

Leaders who have hidden in a bunker and gassed their own citizens include Saddam Hussein, Adolf Hitler and Donald Trump
— Ben Wexler (@mrbenwexler) June 1, 2020

Two girls just walked past us told the cops to suck their dick then pointed to us and told us to report it OK
— David Carson (@PDPJ) June 2, 2020

there is no such thing as "blue lives." you are not born a cop. you choose to become one (bc you do poorly in school).
— mary beth (@marybethbarone) June 2, 2020

Cops are straight up like, we'll fucking kill you if you keep saying that we kill people
— Diego Lopez (@thisdiegolopez) June 2, 2020

great photo op. nailed it pic.twitter.com/X7uedAcxHb
— Brendan Karet 🚮 (@bad_takes) June 1, 2020

"This you?"

- Black Twitter Special Crimes Unit, Archival Division
— Blavity, Blue Check, Ratchet. (@DocDre) June 1, 2020

how do baby boomers love everything about world war II except the part where you fight fascists
— ashley ray (@theashleyray) June 1, 2020

If actual bad apples killed dozens of people, there would be a national recall of ALL apples.
— Eliza Skinner (@elizaskinner) June 1, 2020

Today's speech from President Palpatine.

(Attn: @pattonoswalt ) pic.twitter.com/HWpDFnqgaZ
— Andy Harris (@THEAndyHarris) June 2, 2020

Thank you for your Black Lives Matter graphic. May I please see a picture of your executive leadership team and company board?
— Brandi Riley (@BrandiJeter) June 2, 2020

June 2

You shouldn't have more Black Lives Matter posts than you have Black employees.
— Matthew A. Cherry (@MatthewACherry) June 2, 2020

One small sign that protesters aren't causing escalation is they aren't the ones who showed up with tanks
— Mike Drucker (@MikeDrucker) June 2, 2020

Meghan, we live in the same building, and I just walked outside. It's fine. https://t.co/ZvwNrjL6P7
— Kristen Bartlett (@kristencheeks) June 2, 2020

BEAUTIFUL! Heartwarming photo shows bear joining salmon for a swim in a act of solidarity pic.twitter.com/NSLgFO0kfs
— DemocraticSocialDistancersofAmerica (@TheShaunNavarro) June 2, 2020

conservatives a month ago: "why should we listen to the government and stay home? you are all sheep, this is a free country!"

conservatives today: "if you just follow the government mandated curfew, the paramilitary police stormtroopers won't shoot you in the face, it's simple"
— Crisp (@nerdybyptw) June 2, 2020

I lost my aunt today..... she's not dead, just racist.
— TJ👽 (@trevormeyer_) June 3, 2020

my daughter just said: "why does the media air the looting but not the police brutality that continues to occur against the protestors. it's as if they want to divide the citizens and inflame the problems we already have for ratings"

she's 18 months old
— rudy betrayed (@rudy_betrayed) June 2, 2020

I can't help but think about how a large part of people being able to mobilize and protest right now is because of them not being at work. And how the 40+ hour work week leaves most people with no time for political participation. And how that's kind of the point.
— Neo (@Neo_url) June 3, 2020

Why are people scared of the riots and looting?

The flu kills way more people every year.
— Tall Paul (@TallPaul612) June 3, 2020

Corona...don't think I forgot about you, hoe.
— quinta brunson (@quintabrunson) June 3, 2020

It's been 24 hours and I still have yet to see any NRA member standing up to this military occupation they always say they need guns for.
— Black Lives Matter (@davidhogg111) June 3, 2020

June 3

I can't believe someone actually did it. pic.twitter.com/GgNe3Ftbnr
— Bravo Lima Mike (@PeaDeeKay) June 4, 2020

How to bible pic.twitter.com/Kib5lTdlRt
— Sarah Cooper (@sarahcpr) June 3, 2020

Gotta hear all sides in the NYT pic.twitter.com/UviR8RBY1G
— pixelatedboat aka "mr tweets" (@pixelatedboat) June 4, 2020

This man started an account where he tweets exactly what the president tweets. He just got suspended. https://t.co/KPd9Od1zTE
— Dylan Marron (@dylanmarron) June 3, 2020

Gentlemen. May I offer you some... grunge? pic.twitter.com/sT6tSnPSqW
— Michael A. Balazo (@mbalazo) June 3, 2020

IT TOOK ALL 50 STATES, THE AMISH, KPOP STANS, 13 OTHER COUNTRIES, WITCHES, ANONYMOUS, THE LGBT COMMUNITY, CELEBRITIES, STAN TWITTER, PEOPLE OF COLOR, WHITE ALLIES & BATMAN TO GET 2ND DEGREE MURDER AND THE THREE COPS ARRESTED AND WE HAD THE PRESIDENT & MILITARY AGAINST US, MY GOD
— ♛ BLM ✊🏽✊🏾✊🏿🏳️‍🌈♛ (@rauhling_bizzle) June 3, 2020

Stop TOUCHING HER. STOP TOUCHING HER. STOP. stop touching women. actually no one should ever touch a woman ever again in any situation literally I'm so sick of it https://t.co/PLsbNSb0DH
— raina (@hotfreshpizza) June 3, 2020

screaming pic.twitter.com/frmMU2NXvD
— shereen (@shereeny) June 3, 2020

How the media portrays anarchists: Okay guys let's smash some shit!

Actual anarchists: Okay so it's been 8 hours but we finally reached consensus on the use of the word "guys" in meetings
— merritt k (@merrittk) June 3, 2020

Spanish porn star Nacho Vidal, who likes to advertise his aromatic candles shaped like male genitalia on Twitter, has been arrested on manslaughter charges following a man's death during a mystic ritual in which he inhaled psychedelic toad venom @AFP https://t.co/csPGMAnQOq
— Hazel Ward (@WardieJerusalem) June 3, 2020

"Tom Cotton" is as close to having a senator named "Jim Crow" as reality would allow
— colleen (@collnsmith) June 4, 2020

HOLY SHIT LEGO DONATED 4 MILLION TO BLACK CHARITIES AND THEY PULLED ALL LEGO POLICE SETS FROM THE SHELVES
— Mae says BLM ✿ (@theepictheymer) June 3, 2020

Sept 11th, I'm wearing a shirt that says "All Buildings Matter"
— The Big Blood 🩸 (@KingBraize) June 3, 2020

"Cops kills white people too" THEN WHY TF ARE YALL NOT FIGHTING AGAINST POLICE BRUTALITY???
— echevarria 🍃 (@drawntosenia) June 3, 2020

Meanwhile in Atlanta pic.twitter.com/66qdD5P8ta
— Chef Anthony Thomas (@ChefAnthonyDC) June 3, 2020

"suck my dick and choke on it" 😭😭 pic.twitter.com/XLO6RenbY5
— i yield my time (@23rdButterfly) June 3, 2020

June 4

so from 2019-2022 your resume just says "insane." please expand
— pine tree on a hot day boulder (@sandcrabcoast) June 4, 2020

My son just looked at the television and said "Daddy, do you think these rioters will register to vote?" He's a 46 year old Vox journalist and I hate him so fucking much.
— Socialist Alternative Rock & Pop Punk (@MildCuthbert) June 4, 2020

Some kids yelling at officers at the protest in DC last night:

"Yall see no one ever says fuck the fire department! Cause they do their job and mind their business!"

😂
— Maybe: Do Not Answer (@MsNyajuok) June 4, 2020

white ppl b like how the hell do I have privilege when I wear glasses and have a peanut allergy
— amal (@uhmuhl) June 4, 2020

I'm seeing people ask things like "But if there are no police who will go after RAPISTS???" and well I have some very bad news for those folks
— andi zeisler (@andizeisler) June 5, 2020

Not all cops push senior citizens to the ground! The rest of them step over his unmoving body while blood spills from his ears so they can go arrest peaceful protesters
— Erika Heidewald, ACAB, Esq. (@erikaheidewald) June 5, 2020

Are there any other professions that currently have more than one viral video where they were filmed pushing old men to the ground
— Brendan O'Hare (@brendohare) June 5, 2020

Here's why you don't kneel with cops.
Yesterday. Today. pic.twitter.com/BQMqD3aAYb
— Chad Loder (@chadloder) June 5, 2020

I don't want to live in a world where justice depends on whether or not the Twitter video goes viral enough to reach the mayor https://t.co/cPoMu8mQ0e
— Brett _________ (@BrettRedacted) June 5, 2020

Are they recruiting him https://t.co/rdAOfj1HpL
— kcp soundsystem (@geeequinn) June 5, 2020

John Boyega literally played a cop that quit the force in Star Wars.
— Discount❄Emma❄Stone (@Buffalojilll) June 4, 2020

NOT NOW UNDERWATER GHOST VILLAGE FROZEN IN TIME https://t.co/QTyigfALwL
— Davey Six-Toes (@HutchinsonDave) June 4, 2020

Trump began his term promising to build a wall to protect America from the world.
He ends it building a wall to protect himself from Americans. pic.twitter.com/mzvfIBVOSg
— Nick Confessore (@nickconfessore) June 4, 2020

June 5

it's been days and i cannot get over the pure poetry of the line

suck my dick and choke on it i yield my time fuck you
— J. Escobedo Shepherd (@jawnita) June 5, 2020

pic.twitter.com/aQYN0TOPrM
— George Wallace (@MrGeorgeWallace) June 5, 2020

Stop treating the protests like Coachella pt 17 pic.twitter.com/zOzf4ZvvWf
— influencersinthewild (@influencersitw) June 5, 2020

This dude trolling the police with Star Wars - Imperial March is exactly the Twitter content I am here for today...pic.twitter.com/zh5R7zm70c
— Rex Chapman🏇🏼 (@RexChapman) June 5, 2020

Dairy Queen employee accused of shitting in the soft serve machine has 71 incidents of shitting in the soft serve machine on file. https://t.co/MAKUnRC2sp
— Ariel Dumas (@ArielDumas) June 5, 2020

bill de blasio's friday at a glance pic.twitter.com/ei1m4gzYNd
— Andrew Durso (@andrew_durso) June 5, 2020

HELP I CAN'T BREATHE pic.twitter.com/qN9FWfnpcn
— 𝐦𝐚𝐞 (@9Oskissy) June 5, 2020

remember when the cops murdered a UPS driver and then UPS thanked the cops for it?
— Jawn Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt 🌹 (@Jawn_Hancock) June 5, 2020

They said protestors was yelling "FUCK 12" and the CNN reporter said "you can hear them yelling about the midnight curfew" 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
— HTM D 💪🏽 (@YoBitchLoveD) June 5, 2020

Generation Z will be afraid to ask a waiter for ranch but will body slam a cop
— izu ✊🏿✊🏾✊🏽BLM (@uzeigh) June 5, 2020

Imagine if you called firefighters and they just beat the shit out of you instead of putting the fire out
— Ethel (@Ethelmonster) June 5, 2020

He really pointed up to the sky and said today's jobs report marks great day for a dead man killed by police.
— Chris Hayes (@chrislhayes) June 5, 2020

A week in and all 4 cops are charged, Minneapolis has banned chokeholds, LA has diverted 150 mil from LAPD budget and you're wondering why the protests haven't stopped? What happens two weeks in?
— Moshe Kasher (@moshekasher) June 5, 2020

we have programmed the yeti in the matterhorn to say acab
— Disneyland (@Disneyland2go) June 5, 2020

This Funny Week in Funny Tweets: June 5, 2020

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