Dog on Dog & Bun on Bun, Succession, remembering Phil Hartman, unpopular opinion, and much more from this week in funny tweets.

May 26

pic.twitter.com/ghsFTP8kiY
— Mel Stefaniuk (@MelFreelance) May 27, 2023

On every episode of Top Chef they introduce a random guest judge named like Sam Bumpus and all the contestants go "Holy shit that's Sam Bumpus"
— Zach Dunn (@zachbdunn) May 26, 2023

Watching Costco employees prepare samples like pic.twitter.com/5hXCcsQ36z
— Adam (@adamgreattweet) May 26, 2023

just read the backstory for this and the scuba diver and the fishy (named Yoriko) have known each other for 30 years and one time she was injured so he came down every day for ten days to feed her 5 crabs/day because she couldn't feed herself.........THAT'S HIS UNDERWATER BESTIE https://t.co/BmdIrYSAFQ
— sami 💜🏳️‍🌈 (@seokjeanist) May 26, 2023

This is a promotional vhs directed at video retailers telling them how great Happiness by Todd Solondz is and how many extra copies they'll need to satisfy customers demands pic.twitter.com/tnZqZ40Ufx
— SOLONDZCAST (@Solondzcast) May 26, 2023

This is the funniest thing I've ever seen in my life pic.twitter.com/MmUHCIEwOy
— Michael Cook (@MichaelCookFilm) May 26, 2023

"decided to wage war"

the war: https://t.co/n1DhWic6xt pic.twitter.com/F2NVSUKmVe
— Louie Kahn (@LouieKahn27) May 26, 2023

A lawyer used ChatGPT to do "legal research" and cited a number of nonexistent cases in a filing, and is now in a lot of trouble with the judge 🤣 pic.twitter.com/AJSE7Ts7W7
— Daniel Feldman (@d_feldman) May 27, 2023

Miles Davis meeting Kenny G is one of my fave photos ever. His look is priceless af. https://t.co/RRPHcPlTaH pic.twitter.com/zzib5aLOQU
— QueenCityJamz (@QueenCityJamz) May 26, 2023

still the best tweet of the year by far pic.twitter.com/6DXJdu35g6
— Joseph Rezek (@RezekJoe) May 27, 2023

Yea this my last day as a mailman pic.twitter.com/mgq9xfhcVv
— ʰ (@easterngoblin) May 26, 2023

pic.twitter.com/0WGvD6738k
— Satan (@s8n) May 27, 2023

Anyone who's worked on a show knows Seinfeld's right. Certain EPs who get a nice chuck of the budget only to contribute nothing, maybe show up to set once a month for an hour where they're on their phone the whole time, yell at their assistant about lunch, then leave in a Tesla. https://t.co/mUSx3GBLe5
— ali golub 🌼 (@alibrooke4ever) May 26, 2023

May 27

Unpopular opinion but siren songs low key kinda slap

ⓘ 𝗧𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝘂𝘀𝗲𝗿 𝗶𝘀 𝗹𝗼𝘀𝘁 𝗮𝘁 𝘀𝗲𝗮
— punished cam (@largemotorcycle) May 27, 2023

oh no pic.twitter.com/HblFzEKkOB
— blaire erskine (@blaireerskine) May 27, 2023

It is genuinely impressive that woke can mean anything from "There was a black guy in the movie," to "I got in trouble for stealing a wheelchair."
— Noah Garfinkel (@NoahGarfinkel) May 27, 2023

two college freshmen decorating their dorm room a week before classes start in 1999 pic.twitter.com/moQFyYPIVU
— Dave Itzkoff (@ditzkoff) May 27, 2023

what is your favorite succession scene? me it's when roman pretends he read a book pic.twitter.com/v0Kmdve3Gj
— g (@romanroycunt) May 27, 2023

there will never be a greater video from that clock app i'm unsorry pic.twitter.com/OJwTffAh7H
— 𝕛𝕒𝕟𝕖𝕒 🩵 (@heyyitsjanea) May 28, 2023

okay pack it up folks we found the best kendall roy edit to ever exist. pic.twitter.com/40aoBJCoHv
— no. 1 shiv hater 𓂆ᴴ (@palstineseaview) May 28, 2023

This is the best tiktok I've seen in months pic.twitter.com/myhw2Lr1oH
— David Gardner (@byDavidGardner) May 27, 2023

The look of bewilderment and approval as Greg asks Tom to blackmail him https://t.co/ORbT8EVMUx pic.twitter.com/AqbqjR5jUb
— Randall T (@randytight) May 28, 2023

Conservatives: "haha we owned them!"

Straight allies: "this is so offensive. Stop attacking queer people."

Actual queer people: "can I get this on a Shirt?" pic.twitter.com/Ea8zrKsKpd
— James Somerton❌ (@je_somerton) May 28, 2023

[somewhere in the mountains]

HORSE: "oh wow."
JOKIC: "what happened?"
— Rob Perez (@WorldWideWob) May 28, 2023

Thinking about the ATN headlines ahead of the finale pic.twitter.com/ktMIRbGqzd
— Lee Jameson 🪩 (@Lee_Jameson) May 27, 2023

The Birds Barbie! (Yes, it's an official set.) https://t.co/chP9H2km2B pic.twitter.com/4KXIiBelNt
— Black Hole (@BlackHoleMovies) May 28, 2023

just found Shia LaBeouf's nemesis pic.twitter.com/y3fsPUm5M9
— Terrance and Phillip McKenna (@gnostiquette) May 27, 2023

if a conservative complains about a pride shirt, the shirt gets removed from the store. if i complained about conservative messaging on a product, literally nothing would happen.
— Trixie Mattel™ (@trixiemattel) May 27, 2023

The winner from the Texas Sand Sculpture Festival. pic.twitter.com/lH2sKrz69Q
— Mohamad Safa (@mhdksafa) May 27, 2023

Whenever I get a little down I just rewatch Don Rickles go after Robert De Niro like an assassin in the Casino outtakes. Scorsese laughing his ass off the entire time. Ego death. Beautiful. pic.twitter.com/AJlujKGbdy
— Reconsidering Cinema (@coenesqued2) May 27, 2023

A show all about the importance of archiving props and media preservation has not been preseved https://t.co/gK9q2OeP0y
— Ian Wilmoth (@CydonPrax) May 27, 2023

May 28

When you're trying to be extremely normal but you're also the COVID / Climate person in your friend group. pic.twitter.com/D8K9UuQtyh
— Decorum Disassembly - mas.to/@decorummanager (@DecorumManager) May 28, 2023

Pre-SNL Phil Hartman dubbed a line as Jack Nicholson in The Border. Love how he remembered the line and cadence almost exactly 10 years later (and Nicholson's reaction when Hartman reminded him about it)pic.twitter.com/p7k1UjocGc https://t.co/3b7H0wHVBF
— John Frankensteiner (@JFrankensteiner) May 28, 2023

Every time I see Awkwafina's name I'm like, damn, are you really gonna keep making us call you that for the rest of our lives
— Larry Fitzmaurice (@lfitzmaurice) May 28, 2023

Um, if COVID-19 actually increased heart attacks, strokes, diabetes, etc., and if long COVID rates really are 10%, don't you think we'd see study after study showing this and news reports on health issues and labour shortages exactly like the ones we totally do see all the time?
— T. Ryan Gregory (@TRyanGregory) May 28, 2023

goodbye to the Roy children pic.twitter.com/Akx6eyBNbP
— Anthony 🔜 #Tribeca2023 (@AnAntLife) May 28, 2023

*guy who understands Succession* you're not supposed to like them. they're all horrible people. the uncritical lens through which people consume this show is alarming

me: GREG GREG GREG GREG
— Lolo (@LolOverruled) May 29, 2023

https://t.co/wijZHlucuj pic.twitter.com/Ag8vpv8mRy
— Spaghetti Chef Barbie (@shelbyboring) May 29, 2023

I am glad the winner of Succession is the one person in that family who actually had a job the whole time.
— AVC (@annevclark) May 29, 2023

#Succession #SuccessionHBO

Kendall was told he couldn't be CEO because he wasn't a killer and then because he was 😭 pic.twitter.com/TYYOBdykqK
— Nicole Abarca Powell (@MyCouchHasADent) May 29, 2023

kendall roy…. pic.twitter.com/NdGHk5d6s7
— annie (@anniexlyons) May 29, 2023

4 days ago this baby names tiktok account correctly predicted the end of succession based on the weird history of Tom's last name "Wambsgans" #SuccessionHBO pic.twitter.com/QqjpiTmQNw
— Dana Herlihey (@danaherlihey) May 29, 2023

People talk about Jeremy Strong's method acting but Sarah Snook actually got pregnant you sexists
— Emily Alford (@AlfordAlice) May 29, 2023

May 29

Willa gets to live in Logan's apartment, is working on a new play AND gets a cow print couch. She's the real winner. #Succession pic.twitter.com/S7hmxEW20x
— Karl Delossantos (@karl_delo) May 29, 2023

I love the twisted logic of Succession. The "winner" gets a 90-hour-a-week job where he eats shit for a guy who wants to sleep with his pregnant wife, and the "losers" are three nepo babies who just made several billion dollars apiece by accident
— David Gardner (@byDavidGardner) May 29, 2023

I will miss Succession, I will miss tweeting about Succession, I will miss reading tweets about Succession, and most of all, I will miss reading tweets from people who are angry that people are tweeting about Succession.
— Mark Harris (@MarkHarrisNYC) May 29, 2023

This was the headshot Jimmy picked on media day to be his headshot this season. If his wishes aren't respected by the media during the buildup for the Finals then journalism is officially dead. Do the right thing, media. Democracy dies in darkness or some shit like that. pic.twitter.com/TEpMNFY4NX
— 🦦✨America Is Musty✨🦦 (@DragonflyJonez) May 30, 2023

idk the only time a celebrity has ever been rude to me was Elijah Wood yelled at me that I throw baseballs like a wuss and my dad never taught me how to throw a baseball, but he was also in a dunk tank at the time and I think that changes the social contract a lot
— Rory Blank (@BoneJail) May 29, 2023

https://t.co/t0sIamiQ2j pic.twitter.com/EMoFIYLwm8
— Criminalsimpsons (@Criminalsimpson) May 30, 2023

The back of his vest says, 'If you can read this, mother fell off.' pic.twitter.com/Tni17rK8FF
— Brent Terhune Royal Oak, MI June 15-17 (@BrentTerhune) May 29, 2023

It'll never not be funny to me that PREDATOR has sitcom-like end credits. pic.twitter.com/DlnvbV59dN
— Joe Russo (@joerussotweets) May 30, 2023

Rural Alberta wondering where all their services are next year pic.twitter.com/Bd6OXNGQUw
— Robb (@robbpettit) May 30, 2023

How it feels watching Alberta election results. pic.twitter.com/GcMArhdMz5
— Aaron Hoyland (@aaronhoyland) May 30, 2023

Alberta continues to Alberta in monumentally embarrassing display of Alberta
— The Beaverton (@TheBeaverton) May 30, 2023

how do I break it to my dad pic.twitter.com/a6A8ElkqDm
— Kevin T. Porter (@KevinTPorter) May 29, 2023

May 30

Regrettably, we are forced to raise the price of our products and services due to the reason that we want to
— It's Lunchtime (@InternetHippo) May 30, 2023

Great comedy is all around you if you look. Just watched a woman let a firefighter get in front of her and three other people at the sandwich shop. He said thank you and then ordered fourteen sandwiches.
— John-Michael Bond (@BondJohnBond) May 30, 2023

If you're Peter Parker's neighbor and you see Spider-Man always swinging into his apartment at odd hours, do you assume he's Peter Parker or dating Peter Parker? What I'm suggesting is an arc where Peter has to pretend to date Spider-Man so his neighbor doesn't figure it out.
— Mark O. Stack (@MarkOStack) May 30, 2023

i love how every story i hear about lucas is him being like "hmm, this guy needs to be called Reebo Deebo, it's really important" and everyone is like "sounds good George thank you" https://t.co/Y7FhI4iMYz
— rain (actual speed) enjoyer (@notnotnuanced) May 30, 2023

SCREAMING pic.twitter.com/I7JQguG7Am
— 𝗖𝗛𝗔𝗥𝗟𝗘𝗦 𝗘𝗠𝗔𝗡𝗨𝗘𝗟 (@CharlesEmanuel_) May 30, 2023

"Wanna hear a joke?"

The late great BOB EINSTEIN got a tad bored at a 2010 Curb Q&A and pulled this out.

pic.twitter.com/BPw7WKa80x
— Michael Warburton (@MichaelWarbur17) May 30, 2023

They took that little Twitter competition very seriously pic.twitter.com/NQ8kVAdjgw
— Sophia Benoit (@1followernodad) May 31, 2023

God willing is crazy pic.twitter.com/RFIXbLEdkN
— alexis! (@LOVElSPOWER) May 31, 2023

HOLY SHIT! It's crazy what Leonardo da Vinci left out of frame! https://t.co/u3TFo38Wob pic.twitter.com/6Q3Uo47aIB
— Ashley Talks Comics! (@ComicGirlAshley) May 30, 2023

my bathroom sink was drained so I got the bright idea to put some nair in there to clear it out. I didn't think to google if that was even safe until after the fact, but it works. hand me a grill, I will teach the men. pic.twitter.com/FW7PApg6SS
— definitely not brandy (@BtSquared2) May 30, 2023

this made me happier than i was on my wedding day tbh https://t.co/Kiqq5dxa48 pic.twitter.com/5I2AneuNBc
— rax 'leads with her crotch' king (@RaxKingIsDead) May 30, 2023

Did my cat write this pic.twitter.com/Prmb3Tgd1O
— Annette Duggar (@smallunnaturals) May 30, 2023

https://t.co/fv4Ky5HBl9 pic.twitter.com/OdfgAHRePT
— greta (@haderrsnl) May 30, 2023

How could a supposedly senile old man always on vacation destroy you so badly? pic.twitter.com/PdjUZSVgw7
— Ron Filipkowski (@RonFilipkowski) May 30, 2023

pic.twitter.com/USaVSCm33S
— alice (@germystrong) May 30, 2023

Matthew Macfadyen and Jeremy Strong neatly explaining what an actor's job is pic.twitter.com/e0H7LCKeHg
— Rafa Sales Ross (@rafiews) May 30, 2023

good for her!!!!!!!! https://t.co/eIXtKkolPK pic.twitter.com/bKDGRGmSBG
— Gabrielle Drolet (@gabrielledrolet) May 30, 2023

 
May 31

For people not from Chicago — once a year these start spinning and whip all the cars out and they don't tell you in advance when it's gonna be https://t.co/wf2FfN11C3
— Daniel Kibblesmith 👻 (@kibblesmith) May 31, 2023

modelo is the same company as bud light so all this has really done is demonstrate the futility of boycotting under late-stage capitalism https://t.co/yBJ7vCsb65
— Apex Homosexual (@SnortingEstrace) June 1, 2023

every A.I. supporter pic.twitter.com/WxA3hPWfpn
— Django Gold (@django) May 31, 2023

me having the best possible time at my friend's house pic.twitter.com/7QZ1WJBEMw
— simon (metaloid maniac) (@_deadsoulxiii) May 31, 2023

https://t.co/7IHrmYCvby pic.twitter.com/gln9lelIqw
— Dr David Berger, aBsuRdiSTe cROnickLeR (@YouAreLobbyLud) May 31, 2023

Love that one of the new episodes of Black Mirror is literally just a Please Don't Destroy skit from two years ago. https://t.co/5CJ5neMtly pic.twitter.com/t4nHcHmDBr
— Simon Kelly (@simonkelly93) May 31, 2023

God forbid women have hobbies https://t.co/ZXZnAGyael
— 「LEANNE 莉安」 (@onverwijld) June 1, 2023

english teacher: *visibly frustrated* ok try again

oppenheimer: i… am become—

english teacher: —no, what the fuck
— slate (@PleaseBeGneiss) June 1, 2023

How it started How it's going pic.twitter.com/rZFd3vfIAL
— Ariel Guersenzvaig (@interacciones) May 31, 2023

It's better to burn out than to fade away pic.twitter.com/5Xqoi248Nj
— Michael A. Balazo (@mbalazo) May 31, 2023

Wow, his girlfriend is the spitting image of Robert De Niro. https://t.co/GhDERHqTea
— Ali Arikan (@aliarikan) May 31, 2023

guys just cannot catch a break. when you're in hs, the cute girls date college guys. when you're in college, theyre dating guys who are already graduated. when you finally graduate, they're dating 82 year old Oscar winner Al pacino
— america's lounge singer (@KrangTNelson) May 31, 2023

Al Pacino 8 months ago pic.twitter.com/kn98Tu0KQ1
— Billy Jarrett (@billyjarrettugh) May 31, 2023

happy pride !!
specifically to this line delivery pic.twitter.com/47zZJFX0H2
— lissy (@babeygirlmac) June 1, 2023

June 1

a tense day for all the brand managers out there pic.twitter.com/LZfE46vbMk
— Smooth Dunk (@SmoothDunk) June 1, 2023

In honor of pride month, here's godspeed you black emperor's guitar amp!! pic.twitter.com/gnBTOrOVLs
— bambi ☊ (@selfmadewomann) June 1, 2023

The sky has gone WOKE! Boycott air! Boycott breathing! pic.twitter.com/NY6aOHTDER
— Jason Selvig (@jasonselvig) June 1, 2023

Happy pride month y'all pic.twitter.com/8gNcTnh3iH
— The Wieners Circle (@TheWienerCircle) June 1, 2023

Good scene from the Italian-made Jaws rip-off The Last Shark (1981) pic.twitter.com/eK9WUSNx02
— Will Sloan (@WillSloanEsq) June 1, 2023

Very much enjoying that this Mediterranean washing machine has special settings for if you spill tomatoes, wine or olive oil on yourself pic.twitter.com/LNAfMz7i4z
— Joe Barton (@JoeBarton_) June 1, 2023

I absolutely love the cart return dude. pic.twitter.com/Ta0DqFEwfw
— AskAubry 🦝 (@ask_aubry) June 1, 2023

I Like playing Zelda because sometimes I'll be picking apples in a field and then I'll run into a guy that needs me to kill a giant frog near a volcano so he can use it's toe nail to fix his roof
— Matt O'Brien (@matt_obrien) June 1, 2023

[explaining the plot of my favorite book to my date]
me: so you know how most caterpillars are only a little hungry?
— Andrew Nadeau (@TheAndrewNadeau) June 1, 2023

Them boys aint gone see the 4th of July https://t.co/UXNpWkzkX3
— BASED SAVAGE (@crackcobain__) June 1, 2023

Why is nobody talking about this collaboration? pic.twitter.com/sZXm0eBYJ7
— ben stager (@bennnnst) June 1, 2023

https://t.co/jIBN2lyaNC pic.twitter.com/T3Ynol7UlU
— inscrutable succession sceeenshot (@lib_crusher) June 1, 2023

This Funny Week in Funny Tweets: June 2, 2023

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