June 10
Elmo is straight up owning kids while potty training pic.twitter.com/QGQGAWovFA
— pat tobin (@tastefactory) June 10, 2017
"No sharia law in this country!"
— Kate (@VoluntaryRecall) June 11, 2017
"Should birth control be covered by insurance?"
"NO. My religion forbids it."
Yes, it's true: Adam West and Frank Gorshin got kicked out of a Hollywood orgy for insisting on staying in-character as Batman and Riddler. pic.twitter.com/nctG9i0wXr
— Don Van Natta Jr. (@DVNJr) June 11, 2017
I JOKINGLY MANSPLAINED @MLB AND GOT MANSPLAINED HELP I CAN'T STOP LAUGHING pic.twitter.com/GYADkZdFJU
— Lana Berry (@Lana) June 10, 2017
Some dude just called me a pussy for putting on sunscreen. Imagine thinking you're tougher than the sun? The fucking sun?
— "Riggs" (@RiggsBarstool) June 10, 2017
June 11
this remake of The Shining looks really good pic.twitter.com/iFwhpzhcoX
— Matt Oswalt (@MattOswaltVA) June 12, 2017
.@realDonaldTrump How can the statements of a liar exonerate you?
— Andy Richter (@AndyRichter) June 11, 2017
Here's the time I asked Alex Jones a couple important questions. pic.twitter.com/sjA6J2RDsH
— Vic Berger IV (@VicBergerIV) June 12, 2017
June 12
I can't believe Kevin Durant went to a team he wanted to play for instead of staying with the people who won him in a lottery.
— Neal Brennan (@nealbrennan) June 13, 2017
Nobody gave Golden State a chance after they added Durant to a 73-9 team. Nobody. Pretty inspirin' and whatnot.
— George Wallace (@MrGeorgeWallace) June 13, 2017
"Another thing I like about Green is that he is very protective of his colleagues." -MY MOM ABOUT DRAYMOND GREEN #Warriors
— Hari Kondabolu (@harikondabolu) June 13, 2017
this is the future liberals want pic.twitter.com/8i9lzXeBq0
— Grant Goldberg (@GrantGoldberg) June 13, 2017
imagine being the most followed person on twitter
— jack wagner (@jackdwagner) June 12, 2017
doing a 24/7 livestream to promo ur new album
then ur tweets get less favs than this shit pic.twitter.com/ROCdrqOQru
June 13
Days to hit a 60% disapproval rating:
— Brian Klaas (@brianklaas) June 13, 2017
Carter: Never
Reagan: Never
H.W. Bush: Never
Clinton: Never
W. Bush: 1,756
Obama: Never
Trump: 144
Every pothead Jeff Sessions wants to throw in jail has a better memory than Jeff Sessions
— Jess Dweck (@TheDweck) June 13, 2017
Don't talk shit online pic.twitter.com/BcHJbeQN6f
— GOOSE (@GooseyMane) June 13, 2017
This is the hardest I've ever known someone didn't watch the thing they were writing about pic.twitter.com/0tAHfx9rj8
— Jacob Oller (@JacobOller) June 13, 2017
June 14
Google begins beta testing "feudalism" pic.twitter.com/koRSlUHRLU
— WFLS (@leemkuilschu) June 14, 2017
At the local deli. What could have happened to make them put up that sign?? pic.twitter.com/7BzPNjFm1L
— Anna Haensch (@extremefriday) June 14, 2017
last night while locked i saw someone tweet "what if Mario was just the hat all along possessing a hapless plumber" and i couldn't sleep
— ANTHONY OLIVEIRA (@meakoopa) June 14, 2017
Dang Gal Gadot do you charge me $99 annually when I least expect it because you are an Amazon Prime
— Amy Miller (@amymiller) June 15, 2017
How the fuck was that play not called Orange Julius
— Joseph Carnegie (@JoeCarnegie) June 14, 2017
It was okay when it was just a lady Democrat getting shot in the head. It was okay when it was just twenty six year olds in a school.
— Sarah (From Here) (@sarahwhelmed) June 14, 2017
June 15
When they posted it to Instagram, they COULD have fixed the mistakes, but why bother at this point? Who cares? (Great work, @DanScavino.) pic.twitter.com/4JQamoPq9m
— Vic Berger IV (@VicBergerIV) June 16, 2017
Ironic. Members of congress who routinely vote with the @NRA to allow guns everywhere are moving their offices to courthouses out of fear.
— Joy Reid (@JoyAnnReid) June 15, 2017
I guess you don't draw vaginas on passed out people's faces because it would just be badass to wake up with a tattoo of your origin story
— Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin) June 15, 2017
June 16
Whenever a woman tweets about feminism. pic.twitter.com/DkLvkFQa27
— OhNoSheTwitnt (@OhNoSheTwitnt) June 16, 2017
My personality in one instant: I just apologized to a pole I bumped into.
— Josh Gondelman (@joshgondelman) June 16, 2017
Has anyone tried unplugging America and plugging it back in?
— Mark Forward (@MarkForwardd) June 16, 2017