Hi! I'd like a wake up call, food truck festival, Calgary's in Mission: Impossible, my marriage's in trouble, and much more from this week in funny tweets.

July 7

i love being a woo girl. I'm at a concert and the band asks the audience a question? you bet I'm yelling woo
— Gabrielle Drolet (@gabrielledrolet) July 8, 2023

Oh I know his ass was annoying in there https://t.co/dk5FS387Ln
— Matthew (@itsmattfred) July 7, 2023

One day back in the 90s, 5 of the funkiest white men in America teamed up and made magic. pic.twitter.com/GmmMgSXbQF
— Charles J. Moore (@charles270) July 8, 2023

You should be allowed to do crimes if they're really funny https://t.co/ENdsH6VPP4
— Carrie Diseasez, Cillian Murphy Respector (@TinyBlueDeer) July 7, 2023

why is no one stopping him?????? pic.twitter.com/6z1pS58GDN
— actual baby deer (@fuckpicnics) July 7, 2023

I'm crying. One of the worst things I've ever read. pic.twitter.com/EHFSe38Pbq
— Carey O'Donnell (@ecareyo) July 7, 2023

the way taylor swift fans set her up for slander is crazy https://t.co/G9F4xq6CWS
— SK⚡️ (@raptalksk) July 7, 2023

Grimace's impact https://t.co/xCQqzZzBAV
— hipstermermaid (@hipstermermaid) July 7, 2023

Jordan Poole look like he was sent to the Night's Watch 😭 pic.twitter.com/RaVLosqfUa
— Oluwajomiloju (@JomiAdeniran) July 7, 2023

they put Britney Spears over Wemby getting dunked on, it's over

pic.twitter.com/DqJwOkrB0Q
— Teg🚨 (@IQfor3) July 8, 2023

Britney stans I owe you an apology. I wasn't really familiar with your game pic.twitter.com/nIgfbaHCvG
— sreekar (@sreekyshooter) July 8, 2023

In honor of Ringo Starr's 83rd birthday, here's what Bob Dylan told Jeff Slate last December pic.twitter.com/cQ9JCVCBus
— HarryHew (@harryhew) July 7, 2023

Do it George https://t.co/eJ3E9S7S8M
— Screamer Jim (@HeheWaitWhut) July 7, 2023

people think "Barbenheimer" is just a silly meme for movie fans, but it's actually a rallying cry for the misfits, weirdos, and burnt-out creatives who are longing for some non superhero substance at the cinema. i'll see you there 🤟
— jos (@josiahhughes) July 7, 2023

wont outlive a mediterranean grandfather that drives a scooter, eats olives and plays briskula on a stone wall with his friends https://t.co/l4vLfOs4HD
— 𝖘𝖆𝖎𝖓𝖙 𝖛𝖚𝖑𝖙𝖚𝖗𝖊 (@stvulture) July 7, 2023

TONY: Carmela my wife I am home from crime
CARMELA: Hello Tony my husband
TONY: I love you my wife
CARMELA: Marriage is a sacrament
TONY: Yes pic.twitter.com/X3A7NttfNG
— Gretchen Felker-Martin (@scumbelievable) July 7, 2023

this man never ceases to amaze me pic.twitter.com/eSiIe6GfdA
— jarvis johnson (@jarvis) July 8, 2023

I love how everyone on the planet is just a giant fucking idiot now, it rules https://t.co/ijooiJWJBo
— the information pimp (@BirdRespecter) July 7, 2023

 
July 8

Hey I was just talking to everybody. They're mad at you :(
— Lolo (@LolOverruled) July 9, 2023

*Sung to the tune of Stand By Me
**Sung in the voice of Kermit The Frog

When the night is lame
And everything sucks
That's the time
When you call
Kermit The Frog
— Chris Locke (@chrislockeworld) July 8, 2023

you wanna come to the food truck festival? it's going to dope. it's in a parking lot with no shade or place to sit. yeah, and the lines are going to be ridiculous. yep, it's going to be much worse food than your average restaurant. and the prices? WAY too high. should be fun.
— richard (@richard_normal) July 8, 2023

Why does this beef jerky look like it's going to be shortlisted for the National Book Award? pic.twitter.com/NE7stfXjTl
— Jeremy Trot Zeitlin (@TrotTaBoston) July 8, 2023

He bout to get Draymond charged with a RICO https://t.co/tsahs3w4eh
— DDOT. (@DDotOmen) July 8, 2023

said this at an interview once after being asked & in my rejection email they was like we are happy to make ur dreams come true 😭😭😭😭😭 they ate that one lil thing https://t.co/Dn4jlMMYKr
— b (@libradivabria) July 8, 2023

Honestly one of the best things I've seen in a while. Absolute genius work from @Victordemartrin #MissionImpossible pic.twitter.com/E9r1fAYqRG
— Jordan King (@JordanMBKing) July 8, 2023

Barbie has been in a monogamous relationship with Ken forever and has every job imaginable. She's the literal definition of a girl boss. What are you all talking about? Lots of ppl telling on themselves that they think attractive = slutty bimbo https://t.co/WcG4BCRyT2
— Dr. Mia Brett (@QueenMab87) July 8, 2023

If you'd told me that between Barbie and Oppenheimer, one would start online discourse about on-screen age gaps and the other would lead to international controversy rooted in 1940s Asian geopolitics, never in a million years would have I guessed which one would yield which.
— Siddhant Adlakha (@SiddhantAdlakha) July 9, 2023

Twitter teenagers watching a film about the creation of a doomsday device the threat under which humanity has precariously existed for 90 years: "The actor is *how* much older?"
— oceanfrog frazer crane (@thamosdeaf) July 9, 2023

I'm no millionaire studio exec, but if I saw a $15M horror movie with so so reviews make $30M opening weekend and a $300M tentpole with so so reviews make $60M opening weekend, I'd strongly reconsider my "everything must be $300M and based on nostalgia" business model.
— Luke Barnett 👨🏻‍🍼 (@LukeBarnett) July 8, 2023

i had never heard of this person until a few days ago but apparently she was one of the biggest performers of a generation. feels like somebody slipped into the timestream and stuck her in. truly disorienting. i am now a boomer. https://t.co/Ho5QxLKxKG
— Robert Evans (The Only Robert Evans) (@IwriteOK) July 8, 2023

Hate seeing a lorry on the road like this without a trailer. Not their fault I know but they just look absolutely pathetic. Put some clothes on you are disgusting me right now. pic.twitter.com/RqyO9elUnw
— Mike Townsend (@townsendyesmate) July 8, 2023

This is why the world still needs writers. pic.twitter.com/J9JiDvl8Y1
— Joe Russo (@joerussotweets) July 9, 2023

it's insane that this is the demographic that's legislating against my existence https://t.co/zbx4KF2JhB
— miIf collector (@voresbian) July 8, 2023

when you're poorly explaining sexual reproduction pic.twitter.com/ZYuyoTDLbi
— sreekar (@sreekyshooter) July 9, 2023

Yolo-ing to oblivion https://t.co/uKDx0BR8uB
— Nate Bear (@NateB_Panic) July 8, 2023

I can't stop thinking about this review I found for a hotel I stayed in once pic.twitter.com/8hJ4yd7x71
— Princess Space Catt 💙 (@LiToast) July 9, 2023

"I'm sober and I cannot be around people drinking so I don't want to go to the bar with you. Go have fun."

"I'm scared of roller coasters so I won't go on them, if you want to ride them, have fun."

"This conversation is hurting my feelings. I need a break." https://t.co/5f3CbhPvfW
— celia (@_celia_bedelia_) July 8, 2023

Jonah Hill's future girlfriend heading to the beach with her friends pic.twitter.com/k4Cu32sgkd
— Ragnarok Lobster (@eclecticbrotha) July 9, 2023

oh so dating a guy who gets mad at you for being the person he was attracted to in the first place is a universal experience? cool cool cool
— stoned cold fox (@roastmalone_) July 9, 2023

Jonah Hill, to his partner: if u have male friends or wear revealing clothing or continue to do ur job, no hard feelings but I WILL leave u
Men of twitter: wow what a clear communication of boundaries
— Anna Fitzpatrick (@bananafitz) July 9, 2023

Just remembering that recent interview with Jay Baruchel where he admits he wasn't really acting in This Is The End and truly does hate Jonah Hill.
— biracial waluigi (@korea_suicide) July 8, 2023

The difference between me and Jonah Hill or Keke Palmer's bf (name is not important) is that if I were with a hot lady you would never hear from me. You'd occasionally see a post that just says "hell yeah" and that's about it
— mr too damn bueno (@BergoEsBueno) July 8, 2023

 
July 9

I love it when someone gets outted for doing something wildly abusive and half the internet is like.. if that's abuse then I'm abusive, too!

Yes. Yes you are.
— A. H. - on bsky now, handle in bio (@a_h_reaume) July 9, 2023

if ur worried about ppl sharing screenshots of ur abusive texts u can always try not being abusive….. has anyone thought of that
— Sydney Battle (@SydneyBattle) July 10, 2023

my marriage is in trouble pic.twitter.com/yH98qKlQX3
— sreekar (@sreekyshooter) July 9, 2023

This Jonah Hill development only bolsters my strong belief that all therapists should have one parent-teacher conference type day a year where their clients' friends/peers can come in and be like "so this is how they really act."
— Kady Ruth A (@kady_ruth) July 9, 2023

if ur bf says not to post that bikini pic ask him if that's the jonah hill he wants to die on
— 🤙🏻soso🤙🏻 (@sophiebuddle) July 9, 2023

Not posting it on insta that's for sure my bf set clear boundaries https://t.co/h4spom0wQn
— 𝒦𝓎 (@justky1018) July 9, 2023

i hate being online. two days ago i didnt have an opinion about jonah hill but now i do. i dont need that in my life. i have enough going on
— zach silberberg supports the WGA (@zachsilberberg) July 9, 2023

ted lasso just came by . he said You will never have mental health and you deserve to have depression because youre stupid. hes nicer on tv
— smoker `s life (@dril) July 9, 2023

Me at the Olive Garden. https://t.co/jtFVcK66xe
— Ben Collins (@oneunderscore__) July 9, 2023

i see why Jokic doesn't waste anytime leaving the country whenever his season is over 😭 https://t.co/s6AMryCAm4
— Bala 💫 (@BalaPattySZN) July 9, 2023

https://t.co/iG3zsYfYwp pic.twitter.com/pkGM8DTpAD
— Mia K. (@miakhalifa) July 10, 2023

"Cancelling Guy Fieri for shaking Trump's hand is so stupid, what's wrong with libs?"-People who boycotted beer because a transgender woman drank it.
— Summer Whitesell (@LinimentCake) July 9, 2023

HELP!!! What in the AI shapeshifting cloning conspiracy theory is this?!?!! I hope the whole internet get deleted!!! https://t.co/fFx1SDtj8o
— Nicki Minaj (@NICKIMINAJ) July 9, 2023

i'm speechless. what the fuck is he talking about. i love it https://t.co/3TxkULIP9h
— Keefler (@Keefler_Elf) July 9, 2023

Kind of cool how in Ryan Gosling's Ken we have the positive version of a method actor becoming the joker. Every pr quote from him is incomprehensible. He went too method for Barbie and now his brain doesn't work
— Kath Barbadoro (@kathbarbadoro) July 10, 2023

Margot Robbie: "We had so much fun filming this scene. Everyone in the cast had to wear pink that day, and Ryan said the funniest thing"

Cillian Murphy: "I'm not British I'm Irish — Yes theres a big difference"

Tom Cruise: "I LOVE YOU I LOVE ENTERTAINING YOU"
— Austin (@awoodustin) July 9, 2023

Lmao pic.twitter.com/Cv8JLTN5qI
— barbarism critic (punished arc) (@ScarletMarxist) July 9, 2023

Great to see Calgary included on this map of potential nuclear terrorism targets in Mission Impossible: Fallout pic.twitter.com/EuVJA2Z0BQ
— Brooks Otterlake (@i_zzzzzz) July 10, 2023

Billionaires are in "inventing" 5 versions of the same app. Meanwhile the people are actually innovating pic.twitter.com/3jY9J8X2vL
— Stop Cop City (@JoshuaPHilll) July 9, 2023

We had to shorten the COVID isolation period to 5 days so that we can get back on track to accelerating the climate crisis. https://t.co/KiyrWl1y8E
— Joaquín Beltrán (@joaquinlife) July 9, 2023

If you watch one thing make it this and wait for the end pic.twitter.com/QxUAYNN0Ho
— Adam Parkhomenko (@AdamParkhomenko) July 10, 2023

July 10

Jar Jar Binks is the most astounding character ever created. To even apply a race when calling him racist makes you racist. It's like racism quicksand. George Lucas was a very specific kind of genius
— John ''FkA WxTTBxTT'' V. Variety (@johnvvariety) July 10, 2023

dont ask me why i did this but i turned Whose Line is it Anyway into a 90s fighting game pic.twitter.com/2yTMbIkvWc
— dom nero (@dominicknero) July 10, 2023

this looks like an al jaffee mad magazine fold-in that would become a toilet https://t.co/ZK2O4MvehA
— russ bengtson (@russbengtson) July 10, 2023

simply *the* most dogshit poster of all time. he does not have a funny bone in his body and it makes him so sad and confused. i know fellas who use big bang theory gifs in groupchats and they're funnier than this. guys who put themselves down as jedi on the census. pic.twitter.com/E6S9WhqrLi
— The author, Séamas O'Reilly (@shockproofbeats) July 10, 2023

I hate the idea that "I" am depressed. Everything's fucked up, why are we putting this on me like I'm wrong ???
— Skyler Higley (@skyler_higley) July 10, 2023

It's actually wild how much mainstream media wants to make me care about the richest companies in Canada losing miniscule amounts of money while people are going hungry pic.twitter.com/pDNNSNwtFV
— 🔫 Scott Martin (Pinko Punko) 🛼 (@YouCaughtScott) July 10, 2023

yeah I'll have the schizo burger with a side of everyone's looking at me fries https://t.co/Kk2gq5tMoA
— farner (@farner2ocken) July 10, 2023

pic.twitter.com/Of71DX3Bv2
— Vic Berger IV 📉 (@VicBergerIV) July 11, 2023

remember when we all collectively dreamed that a train full of chemicals crashed in an american town and the spill was intentionally burned, poisoning the air and water and local wildlife and we were upset but then something else happened so we forgot
— zach (@extrafabulous) July 10, 2023

it's crazy that civilization is ending in like 20-30 years and we're just here working jobs
— Rob DenBleyker (@RobDenBleyker) July 10, 2023

Car dependency in this country is insane: pic.twitter.com/L9iqIxW8Kl
— Hayden Clarkin (@the_transit_guy) July 10, 2023

Looking forward to the Napoleon movie and learning how he got three different ice cream flavors into a single container
— mr too damn bueno (@BergoEsBueno) July 10, 2023

"wahhhh my airbnb is weird" damn that's crazy what if there was like a more formal place to rent a room from an accredited institution at doing that
— Pirates Gunther (@notbenfish) July 11, 2023

He was a skater boy. She said could you not post pictures of you skateboarding.
— gianmarco (@GianmarcoSoresi) July 10, 2023

Enjoying this guy, posing as James Bond while his friend takes a photo, not realising he's in the middle of the screen on the BBC 1 o'clock news. pic.twitter.com/CPaxxo5pU4
— dan barker (@danbarker) July 10, 2023

Straight Pride is a time for men to celebrate:
- cargo shorts
- having a beard AND a sunburn
- cardiovascular disease
- the teachings of the Tasmanian Devil
- DUI culture
- indigestion as a way of life
- Eric Clapton's Greatest Hits
— Michael A. Balazo (@mbalazo) July 10, 2023

Presidential campaign as Ponzi scheme.

You had a nice run, America. pic.twitter.com/Lr1pQLOIR6
— Kevin M. Kruse (@KevinMKruse) July 10, 2023

Joe Biden is so old that when he was a senior in high school, Donald Trump was a freshman in high school.
— Kilmartin, July: Minneapolis, San Diego (@anylaurie16) July 10, 2023

They're called boundaries, T. It means you can tell your girlfriend what she's allowed to do and if she don't listen you don't gotta be her boyfriend no more. pic.twitter.com/vcfaKAvVgX
— socialist sopranos memes (@gabagoolmarx) July 10, 2023

Fu*k around and find out is definitely a person! pic.twitter.com/8mxgvSZC3a
— Copyrite (@Copyrite) July 11, 2023

Those carrots are so skinny. Those are not load bearing carrots. They cannot support hummus. https://t.co/juK8lMY1SL
— Two Time Emmy Winner Ali B (@wtflanksteak) July 11, 2023

You have to see Oppenheimer first. This is because Barbie lives in the world that Oppenheimer built.
— Lynda Carter (@RealLyndaCarter) July 10, 2023

That's because Barbie dolls are modelled after people https://t.co/OoPVixPC66
— ava (@westcoastwinter) July 10, 2023

 
July 11

this film has singlehandedly turned me around after a lifetime of scratching my head and going "no seriously, what do straight women see in Ryan Gosling"

no man has ever Understood the Assignment more thoroughly, I am truly so charmed by him https://t.co/Xxf3t7wtcw
— Claire Willett (@clairewillett) July 12, 2023

My friend recently told me of a conversation we had years ago in which apparently he insulted my sweater and my response was "Well all of your clothes look like you got them for free after running a 5K." He said he thinks about this all the time.
— Keara Sullivan (@superkeara) July 12, 2023

The only funny story of Japan in WW2 is that the Nazis gave them antisemitic propaganda and it just made them impressed with Jews.

Nazis: watch out for the Jews, they control all the banks.

Japan: So are they giving management seminars or
— Now on Threads! (@agraybee) July 11, 2023

they call Millenials weak but we're the first generation who knows we're going to boil to death in the ocean and we still show up everyday at a job to market sunglasses
— Zack Bornstein (@ZackBornstein) July 11, 2023

i don't think "therapy speak" actually comes from therapy tho. it comes from online. i've literally never had a therapist use words like "toxic" and "trauma dumping" in a session lol
— Daisy Jones (@daisythejones) July 11, 2023

Maybe the most insane post I've read on nba Reddit this year pic.twitter.com/9wc0AMoBqZ
— Jason Hirsch (@JasonHirsch16) July 12, 2023

wholesome yet dystopian pic.twitter.com/A71aWIfKFS
— blasty (@bl4sty) July 11, 2023

Counter point: it only says that because the previous generation kept drinking the contents of the battery pic.twitter.com/d3Jqkg9Ydv
— Bits (@BitsHammer) July 11, 2023

pause pic.twitter.com/jsX5HVH1cA
— matt (@mattxiv) July 11, 2023

Willy wonka is a FREAK. I've had chocolate too bro. Not gonna act all weird because of it
— pj (@pjayevans) July 11, 2023

HUGH GRANT JUST WHAT NOW?? pic.twitter.com/VHPN6Prvm5
— almond taylor-joy (@jesterbestie) July 11, 2023

😭😭😭 pic.twitter.com/JzgRbdlJpl
— Jo🌺🎬 (@Goldxn_Violin) July 11, 2023

I was picking blueberries just now and a wizened old man passed me, smiled, said, "You know, there are fourteen kinds of berries, and thirteen of them are edible," and then disappeared into the forest.

Did I…did I just meet Death
— Clare Blackwood (@clareblackwood) July 11, 2023

really excited that Oppenheimer appears to be 300 of my favorite actors walking and shaking hands and then a bomb blowing up https://t.co/vUQtvI57QD
— 🟡 The tumboy 🟡 (@TheTumboy) July 11, 2023

"sex as only Nolan could stage it" pic.twitter.com/j2tf1YLRGY https://t.co/lbRTtMsci9
— Matt Erspamer (@erspamer_matt) July 11, 2023

Hmm I could be a cashier at Chick-fil-A or for a little bit of a pay cut I could... Let's see... Produce the local newscast pic.twitter.com/RxxosAOoil
— Travis | tarvis.bsky.social (@DXMSommelier) July 11, 2023

ah yes liberal hollywood pic.twitter.com/hKkuIrdfY1
— andy™ (@andylevy) July 12, 2023

Writers after the studios say they won't negotiate with the WGA again until everyone is out of money pic.twitter.com/YNFzWvMvwr
— Ben Crew (@BenjaminCrew1) July 12, 2023

During the WGA Strike of '07/'08, David Letterman did a bit on the AMPTP. As relevant now as it was then. pic.twitter.com/1GZgc4BQ7q
— Todd Spence (@Todd_Spence) July 11, 2023

Norm McDonald's memorable moment in Who Wants to Be a Millionaire (US) 17/11/2000 pic.twitter.com/tghOiZ3vE4
— Historic Vids (@historyinmemes) July 12, 2023

Hold the fort - It says here that Napoleon Bonaparte was a TYRANT https://t.co/5T3eQCiwES pic.twitter.com/OlTmQTIAbI
— L to the OG (@tlologn) July 11, 2023

It would be funny if musicians ever decided to strike and spotify was like "oh yeah let's see how long you can last without getting paid oh wait shit" https://t.co/lTGraHi3tB
— eve6 (@Eve6) July 12, 2023

 
July 12

I see the B-52s have cut to the chase. pic.twitter.com/3r1OFFBfOE
— Sean Patrick (@seanptellsjokes) July 12, 2023

abba music: 🪩 💃 🕺 🕺 💃 🪩
abba lyrics: I hate my job. I am getting divorced. I am so tired all the time. the Spanish civil war
— ethel KENiac (@evemmore) July 12, 2023

pic.twitter.com/rJwbE7PNht
— K. Thor Jensen 🐀🐀 (@kthorjensen) July 13, 2023

You'd piss your pants if she glanced in your general direction https://t.co/2fqN86hCsm
— Tradia (@amalieskram) July 12, 2023

The next time someone tries to tell you that you're not hot I need you to remember that they tried to say that about Margot Robbie it means nothing
— big honkin caboose (@itsmegangraves) July 12, 2023

its fascinating how thoroughly this website has broken some people's brains https://t.co/Ch8JCqKus0
— bad boy summer facts (@kimpossiblefact) July 13, 2023

i gotta delete this app pic.twitter.com/bsTuWaeg1j
— tea ☕️ (@realteaemoji) July 12, 2023

They will be very susceptible to lateral attacks https://t.co/q362I0Qy3X
— The Path of the Alpha - Weed Mubarak 5'5" (@WeedMubarak) July 12, 2023

this video has everything — drama, comedy, great lines: "cat pervert," "you're harboring my cat" 10/10 https://t.co/JpTUBSdge9
— philip lewis (@Phil_Lewis_) July 13, 2023

threads is people plagiarizing dril tweets and people not getting them pic.twitter.com/Dq1ZbZzvQ5
— mr pussy (@_mrpussy) July 13, 2023

I called it 🙏 https://t.co/UUSo9bpbqA pic.twitter.com/97UYypoi9L
— Hurt CoPain (@SaeedDiCaprio) July 12, 2023

REMEMBER WHAT THEY TOOK FROM US 😤
pic.twitter.com/IsZ70gnb2i
— 👋🏾 @burncoryburn.bsky.social (@burncoryburn) July 13, 2023

Wild crooner spotting pic.twitter.com/IdUlBVE37Q
— Carmine Laguzio (@carminelaguzio) July 13, 2023

Great Mitch Hedberg story from ⁦@GregWarren⁩ pic.twitter.com/AKOeOzrhIw
— Sam Morril (@sammorril) July 12, 2023

Our side of this negotiation is asking for 2% of the profits we help generate. Their side says fuck you, sleep on the street. (And that's their PR strategy!) In case anyone was unclear on who the bad guys are here. https://t.co/56CCHj0jK2 pic.twitter.com/AnwrW3112b
— Josh Gondelman (@joshgondelman) July 12, 2023

These streaming services are getting out of hand pic.twitter.com/3qlsWagxSq
— Eric Allen Hatch @ericallenhatch.bsky.social (@ericallenhatch) July 12, 2023

Here's what I think of the streamers' cruel plan to "starve us out" pic.twitter.com/XRPzUMrkXr
— Adam Conover (@adamconover) July 13, 2023

pic.twitter.com/o57fjPaNZ5
— Dave Jones (@CleanPowerDave) July 12, 2023

I will retweet this whenever I see it. Norm is the greatest to ever do it. https://t.co/n51idvaiYF
— Sean O'Connor (@seanoconnz) July 13, 2023

tim robinson is an emmy nominee and his headshot is perfect pic.twitter.com/vCIl3DWQeA
— Alison Herman (@aherman2006) July 12, 2023

Cruise is like an alien that arrived on Earth for who knows what purpose, but abandoned his mission after becoming obsessed with cinema. https://t.co/wvK3xfrkug
— The Schlocketeer (@schlocketeer) July 13, 2023

 
July 13

The last message Tom cruise left us with before the SAG strike was mmmm popcorn yummy
— Pug 🐾 🐛 🥫 (@pugmane) July 13, 2023

Oh no. pic.twitter.com/Cbx0lXJ8w5
— Keaton Patti (@KeatonPatti) July 13, 2023

barbenheimer being the last event before hollywood shutdown actually makes so much sense it's like the roaring 20s into the great depression
— mya dune (@DUNENATION) July 13, 2023

Can't believe the AMPTP told a bunch of actors they're not special and thought it would go over well
— Brittani Nichols *Double Strike Version* (@BisHilarious) July 13, 2023

really funny that the writers and actors guilds are on strike because, among other things, studios just really really really do not want to put on paper how many people actually watch streaming shows lol
— largest rodent (@capybaroness) July 13, 2023

Usually if a group of writers and actors are united against you that means you are the antagonist of a Muppet movie
— Ben Crew (@BenjaminCrew1) July 13, 2023

I got you fam!

SAG-AFTRA President Fran Drescher giving her speech over the Ether beat! 🎤 https://t.co/cVJNdtE9D6 pic.twitter.com/B948D4VQnJ
— ɳick 💆🏽‍♂️ (@Creat1ve) July 13, 2023

The SAG press conference had everything:

- Duncan Crabtree Ireland speaking Spanish
- mad-as-hell Fran Drescher
- a prescient message about these entertainment strikes as an important battle for the future of human labor
- the phrase "with regard to the Hobbit situation"
— DC Pierson (@DCpierson) July 13, 2023

THIS WOMAN IS MY HERO pic.twitter.com/9ulXeiK4xC
— bethany (@fiImgal) July 13, 2023

LOUIS CK weighs in on the @sagaftra strike pic.twitter.com/z2pG36kuMx
— James Austin Johnson (@shrimpJAJ) July 13, 2023

Putting how much money they make next to their name and right before their opinion is the only correct way to write a headline about billionaires. https://t.co/tLR2E2d366
— Felipe Torres Medina 🪧 ON STRIKE 🚫✏️ (@felipetmedinaa) July 13, 2023

Him: "Why are you wearing a mask still?"
Me: "You don't want what I've got."
Him: "What's that?"
Me: "A full and thorough understanding of how Covid is transmitted and what repeat infection does to you."
— tern (@1goodtern) July 13, 2023

Did anyone bother to tell them the federal carbon tax doesn't apply in BC because they've had one there since 2008? https://t.co/t33ptQa6yo
— Max Fawcett 🇨🇦 (@maxfawcett) July 13, 2023

This Funny Week in Funny Tweets: July 14, 2023

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