Breakfast time machine, a mobile cat latrine, disgusted wax Springsteen, notes from the Pringles street team, and much more from this week in funny tweets.

January 8

I thought I was being clever, putting the litter box on wheels so I could slide it out from under the stairs, but I have inadvertently created a Mad Max-esque vehicle which my cat uses to roll around the house, dragging himself with his front paws, the entire time shitting.
— Sarah Ellis Fox (@sarahellisfox) January 8, 2021

took my brother to target pic.twitter.com/oIzflZBJkN
— free (@deIusiv) January 9, 2021

how | /
bad | ___/
the | /
world | ___/
gets |/________________

the quality of memes
— Nathan Allebach (@nathanallebach) January 9, 2021

me going on a stupid little daily walk just to feel something pic.twitter.com/Yi6VVHVVB6
— ruby 🐊 (@roobeekeane) January 8, 2021

that morning field trip air was just different
— Nope (@memequeenyerp) January 8, 2021

January 9

My brain every time I get a slight headache pic.twitter.com/CW9unRVH2M
— TheIainDuncanSmiths (@TheIDSmiths) January 9, 2021

last night i accidentally got so high i forgot what pringles are called pic.twitter.com/TCDLxQi2tP
— liv (@anapplebright) January 9, 2021

Onlyfans should have a platonic option. Like, I love and support you in this endeavour but I don't want to see your ass
— Honey, as a bit (@benegotherit) January 9, 2021

I ordered food from the kebab (again) and when the delivery man come to my door I said omg I'm gunna get so fat and then he text me this😩😩🤣 pic.twitter.com/5rrnsyAKsN
— Shannon (@shannoncharnick) January 10, 2021

stopped caring. pic.twitter.com/PYPlpiz76u
— von (@vonbitty) January 10, 2021

Stop bringing shitty Bluetooth speakers on hikes. No one came to the woods to hear you listen to Katy Perry
— stoned cold fox (@roastmalone_) January 10, 2021

white liberals really don't understand that get out was about them & it's hilarious
— black moth super gameboy 🏳️‍🌈 (@disco_socialist) January 9, 2021

His lawyer said that at trial he won't be taking the stand. https://t.co/A69vY35jqP
— Hend Amry (@LibyaLiberty) January 9, 2021

pic.twitter.com/t2UXlhldTU
— 🌌 george 🌌 (@deejaygeejaygee) January 9, 2021

January 10

me: *hits my elbow on the table*

my entire hand: pic.twitter.com/XmE9cMMoYy
— kavs☄️🏌️‍♂️ (@3hotcheetosb0i) January 10, 2021

Twitter is the smoking area of social media
— John. (@Spotifylreland) January 10, 2021

absolute kings pic.twitter.com/viH8QOGQVM
— your pal, steely dad 🫖🧸 (@HaitianDvorce) January 11, 2021

Why on earth would u say "half a dozen" when u can literally say "six"
— سليمان (@topshuur) January 10, 2021

in 1954 five Minnesotans were asked for their take on the H-bomb pic.twitter.com/3ue6uUKPkw
— Bill Black (@williamrblack) January 10, 2021

jim jones after jonestown: "i have lost so many followers"
— Lizzie Logan (@lizzzzzielogan) January 10, 2021

I would tell you how many followers I have lost but I have no idea how many i had before because I'm an adult
— Jake Tapper (@jaketapper) January 10, 2021

can't stop thinking about this horizontally cut bread pic.twitter.com/uvaXJ0vJcP
— Josh (@FLITTER) January 10, 2021

sometimes i want to be like "go off king" or "ok queen" but i'm not sure of a persons gender identity i'm like........ go off my liege
— bisexual dumbass (@kittynouveau) January 10, 2021

January 11

why is it spelled "camouflage" and not
— what the actual heck (@jazz_inmypants) January 11, 2021

After these FBI arrests, just think of all the basements that moms will be able to redecorate.
— Stephen Colbert (@StephenAtHome) January 12, 2021

'We Must Protect The Pure Aryan Bloodline,' Says Child After 9 Minutes Of Unsupervised Facebook Access https://t.co/L1efJypcB9 pic.twitter.com/37bFwyWP8M
— The Onion (@TheOnion) January 12, 2021

pic.twitter.com/1YhtEj2a9x
— corporate bimbo (@iiriniia) January 11, 2021

saw a girl on tiktok saying she runs to classical music pretending she's late to the ball and you know what she was onto something
— ੈ♡˳·˖✶ (@madamesiIk) January 11, 2021

It has begun pic.twitter.com/ZZjSrKLa8E
— co (@ConanGShore) January 11, 2021

pic.twitter.com/uTNgsE2YmM
— Jules (@Julian_Epp) January 11, 2021

I'm deleting tiktok pic.twitter.com/qn8fsne65K
— Ruth Graham (@ruth_graham) January 11, 2021

After being stuck on Hillary's emails for five years they want to just "move on," five days after a failed coup attempt.
— Bill Maxwell 😷 #BuildBackBetter (@Bill_Maxwell_) January 12, 2021

It's nice and overdue that his Twitter account has been suspended, but it's a little weird to not know exactly where the horse is inside the hospital.
— Tim Carvell (@timcarvell) January 12, 2021

One of the defining features of this era has been the most fragile of snowflakes, the brittlest of spirits, masquerading as confrontational tough guys. https://t.co/eEBbycmrw9
— Jake Tapper (@jaketapper) January 12, 2021

2021 is the year of the sea shanty pic.twitter.com/ohOAGvkbtC
— Tim - Poster of Hugo Pics (@Beertheist) January 11, 2021

January 12

https://t.co/sHpaRPRibB pic.twitter.com/93n7aiUO48
— Jill Krajewski (@JillKrajewski) January 12, 2021

It's been over a year since I saw this disgusted wax Bruce Springsteen in Niagara Falls. I hope he's still rocking. pic.twitter.com/gjR7vykiX1
— Michael A. Balazo (@mbalazo) January 12, 2021

Twitter was a way for us to know where Trump was, like when they put a bell on a cow.
— Jimmy Kimmel (@jimmykimmel) January 12, 2021

*takes bite of Pringle* yes *nods at date then waiter* we'll have the tube
— Jon (@ArfMeasures) January 12, 2021

give 👏 the 👏 covid 👏 vaccine 👏 to 👏 horny 👏 people 👏 first 👏
— p.e. mrs. met née moskowitz (@_pem_pem) January 12, 2021

I swear we are fighting two pandemics Covid19 and Stupidity
— Adrianna (@stfunell_) January 12, 2021

JAIL!! 💀 pic.twitter.com/KMU1zWcgYT
— Pepedu (@MiraPitaaa) January 13, 2021

the tik tok sea shanty thing only exists because gen z didn't have to live through the decemberists
— garrett bridger gilmore (@jgarrettgilmore) January 12, 2021

if adults can still be employed after storming the capitol building i can probably get a job with a nose ring
— abby (@abby0mal) January 12, 2021

"when this is all over"... babe nothing ends anymore
— The $2000 (@ericschmerick) January 12, 2021

Everyone getting arrested and losing their job for storming the Capitol building are realizing why their grandparents wore hoods.
— Travis Allen 🇺🇸 (@TravisAllen02) January 13, 2021

they are really fuckin these snails up pic.twitter.com/08JxylKYA9
— Neeraj K. Agrawal (@NeerajKA) January 13, 2021

To anyone saying Trump didn't participate in the insurrection, remind them that Bin Laden didn't fly the planes.
— 🌍❤Tammy,RN🌎❤ (@sazzygram3) January 13, 2021

January 13

Prob just a coincidence that everyone at the Trump riot had people in their personal lives who couldn't wait to turn them in
— Jess Dweck (@TheDweck) January 13, 2021

Ben, usually I'd joke, but I'm going to come at this honestly. There's a big difference between zip ties being carried by paramilitary forces invading the capitol and zip ties being carried by your wife so she can tie you to a chair and make you watch her have sex with other men.
— Mike Drucker (@MikeDrucker) January 13, 2021

babe don't worry that's just my platonic emotional support ex who's in love with me
— 𝖜𝖎𝖋𝖊 (@mourningyou) January 13, 2021

I asked this Trump supporter about Biden's victory and she "won't even go there" pic.twitter.com/B6mTmUNTDO
— Jason Selvig (@jasonselvig) January 13, 2021

I actually cannot stop laughing at this hahaahahahaha pic.twitter.com/viiqCwBsMn
— jack rem x (@jackremmington) January 13, 2021

"kanye is fucking jeffree star" "azealia banks boiled her dead cat" "armie hammer is into cannibalism" "trump impeached again" pic.twitter.com/Fl3Faga3iL
— 𝖈𝖍𝖊𝖑𝖑𝖊 (@chelle_rcr) January 14, 2021

I forgot the best bit of my walk today: this cat who's owners are fed up pic.twitter.com/xQqwNnFNAz
— HP Fuckcraft (@Charlietrypsin) January 13, 2021

me when I'm on a call with someone pic.twitter.com/f8jFnK8tUg
— a (@burtmackliinFBI) January 13, 2021

I'm dead. pic.twitter.com/uG9Wom7vxD
— Yuh-Line Niou (@yuhline) January 14, 2021

A twice impeached one term President. Tom Brenner should win the Pulitzer for the one below. pic.twitter.com/4WfAANXAOW
— Gerry Duggan (@GerryDuggan) January 13, 2021

January 14

regular people: i'm depressed from being indoors for 11 months! i have no money and everyone is dying!

toronto life: this toronto couple invested in beluga caviar. but, in a dark twist, they bought TOO much caviar and had nowhere to put it. so they build a 40 acre caviar chalet.
— john (@johnsemley3000) January 14, 2021

ir="ltr">Meanwhile at the Trump International Beach Resort in Miami

Via IG:plannedalism pic.twitter.com/kUpwchIGap
— Icculus The Brave (@FirenzeMike) January 14, 2021

More stuff (appears to be Abe Lincoln bust) leaving the West Wing this afternoon. pic.twitter.com/4fjkVPmiMS
— Jim Acosta (@Acosta) January 14, 2021

More stuff being moved out of West Wing. This appears to be a stuffed bird. pic.twitter.com/EkUChUDXLC
— Jim Acosta (@Acosta) January 14, 2021

Respect the originals pic.twitter.com/2npEsgehKN
— octopus caveman 🏳️‍🌈 (@OctopusCaveman) January 14, 2021

Fact: Across our country, military and police are now protecting us from the Republican Party.
— Bryce Tache (@brycetache) January 14, 2021

Headline of the Day, from Vice News https://t.co/UKlRas4tPn pic.twitter.com/yDlDoOIJh0
— Helen 0️⃣5️⃣ Kennedy (@HelenKennedy) January 15, 2021

Correction of the day pic.twitter.com/UyvQmRCNXl
— David Uberti (@DavidUberti) January 14, 2021

This Funny Week in Funny Tweets: January 15, 2021

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