My phone, leave The Wizard of Oz alone, White Brian on his own, grind you to the bone, and much more from this week in funny tweets.

February 17

how it feels to get constructive criticism that i asked for pic.twitter.com/mXffyV9CtL
— mount bellyache (@mountbellyache) February 17, 2023

The versatility of "lol" is really amazing. It can mean "haha" and it can mean "fuck you" and it can mean "i'm sad/vulnerable but making fun of myself about it" or "i'm feeling like total shit but also i'm fine."
— Ilana Masad (@ilanaslightly) February 18, 2023

Emergencies Act report finds that assholes were indeed assholeshttps://t.co/rCvFffskxn #cdnpoli #convoy pic.twitter.com/MSEfWrIiM8
— The Beaverton (@TheBeaverton) February 17, 2023

happy anniversary to this golden tweet pic.twitter.com/v0TYFznSyn
— miguel🐄 (@itshemiii) February 17, 2023

i can do this with one hand https://t.co/M4RilLMV8i
— slate (@PleaseBeGneiss) February 18, 2023

🔥KANSAS: "I planned to oppose this bill — but I support it… with this we can promote our leftist agenda to our targeted students without any administrative oversight."

A mom/teacher uses reverse psychology to expose the GOP scheme to dismantle public schools. @GovBillLee pic.twitter.com/1uP37gwBcT
— The Tennessee Holler (@TheTNHoller) February 18, 2023

Where the fuck is this thing taking me pic.twitter.com/slrMLgn3oP
— Rod (🙂👍) (@ThanksThoth) February 17, 2023

Wondering why you're so angry all the time? It's not a coincidence. @SarahKSilverman explains how entire industries are profiting off our anger in a new #LongStoryShort pic.twitter.com/bfkb1e6woa
— The Daily Show (@TheDailyShow) February 17, 2023

Today at work a woman forbade me from walking too close by her table because she didn't like my butt being near her, restaurants are a literal dystopia of horrors
— Clare Blackwood (@clareblackwood) February 18, 2023

There needs to be a discussion on why films have gotten darker lately https://t.co/obWffoTkC0
— Dimithry Victor (@dimithryv) February 17, 2023

me at 12: what if people think I'm stupid
me at 32: they all know I'm stupid and there's nothing they can do to stop me
— 𝔏𝔦𝔬𝔫𝔢𝔰𝔰 (@InsaneMistress) February 18, 2023

DYING. 😂 pic.twitter.com/RMGgIIATmZ
— Amee Vanderpool (@girlsreallyrule) February 17, 2023

he was the worst president we've ever had. facts don't lie pic.twitter.com/0lxnYwsK9q
— rudy betrayed (@rudy_betrayed) February 17, 2023

Can't argue with these facts pic.twitter.com/panaTKNPUQ
— Themperor Kennedy🐸🏳️‍🌈 (@kennedytcooper) February 17, 2023

February 18

The scariest thing I have ever seen on LinkedIn pic.twitter.com/2nAXK6cW1b
— laura trujillo (@lauraftrujillo) February 18, 2023

The struggle is real pic.twitter.com/zr1MdSJMXX
— struggle memes (@StruggleMemes) February 18, 2023

CanLit pub seeking cover designer entirely unfamiliar with subtlety, an artist who dabbles in the criminally gauche, the copy-paste, thick-bordered lo-def photographs, Arial Bold, gradients, do not inquire about pay it's unbecoming
— Beautiful CanLit (@ILoveCanLit) February 18, 2023

oh nothing, just rewatching one of the greatest moments in award show history pic.twitter.com/OKVpUI0ZM8
— Ludwig 🏃‍♂️ (@paulludwig) February 18, 2023

"What the heck Brian?!" pic.twitter.com/DE9nE6Zcwb
— Buitengebieden (@buitengebieden) February 18, 2023

bro it was the first film in color https://t.co/SX68cxJDTa
— 𝕒𝕟𝕘𝕖𝕝𝕒 𝕓𝕒𝕤𝕤𝕖𝕥𝕥'𝕤 𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕘 (@heyyitsjanea) February 18, 2023

My Saturday fun project: using AI, every US president as a Pixar character. pic.twitter.com/0kWPqyphWb
— Dan Szymborski (@DSzymborski) February 18, 2023

This just popped up for me. I don't even know how to start doing this. pic.twitter.com/mrMac8VKRA
— Mr. Mark Potts (@mrmarkpotts) February 18, 2023

G14 https://t.co/82AvIQHmVc
— Hal (@mensa_genius) February 18, 2023

"my boyfriend is a musician"

the boyfriend: pic.twitter.com/Pj5bOyE8Rj
— catatonicyouths (@catatonicyouths) February 18, 2023

I'm sick of these robots taking our jobs https://t.co/xOsVvC8q5b
— big honkin caboose (@itsmegangraves) February 18, 2023

It never fails. He's never done a single original thing in his life. pic.twitter.com/FIULE6qfbZ
— Kristi YamaGuccimane (@wapplehouse) February 18, 2023

Ain't no way the insurance company gon believe this 😂😂 pic.twitter.com/E9LGVmgs0T
— 💔 Perc Franklin 💔 (@bb_brooks) February 19, 2023

 February 19

pic.twitter.com/H8lG6T9aph
— Strangest Media Online (@StrangestMedia) February 19, 2023

OMG???? pic.twitter.com/nz3pV9BM3c
— pocket (@islandthembo) February 19, 2023

People are like "why are kids so depressed it must be their PHONES!" But never mention the fact that we're living in a late stage capitalist hellscape during an ongoing deadly pandemic w record wealth inequality, 0 social safety net/job security, as climate change cooks the world
— Taylor Lorenz (@TaylorLorenz) February 20, 2023

you have to be fucking kidding me pic.twitter.com/3xIkHXni0l
— david💤 (@papiquarius) February 19, 2023

not called cisformers is it cunt https://t.co/LEYHfLvWpL
— Claire??? (@AliceAvizandum) February 19, 2023

Actual basketball????? https://t.co/zj9XZkARYE
— Dana Evans (@Danaaakianaaa) February 20, 2023

The crew on this movie did not have asbestos rained down on them repeatedly and nearly die from copper poisoning and heatstroke just for yall to call the first ever movie in colour mid 😭😭 https://t.co/jdytZDi1MR
— ♕Bad-JuJu♕ not having fun :( (@og_jujunwa) February 19, 2023

"sHe'S riGhT" there is a 95 minute movie about a bear on cocaine coming out this week https://t.co/obiseK6E1Z
— toffee 🇧🇸 (@ventisigh) February 19, 2023

Decriminalize onion relish pic.twitter.com/vw8ResFdUm
— Andy Twinklepants (@_TwinklePants) February 19, 2023

I think it would be in your best interest to attend. https://t.co/lrJR9enxr4
— db 🖤 (@dbcxptures) February 19, 2023

these are some of my favorite tweets ever. i think about them all the time pic.twitter.com/UxTFyvzSDf
— katie (@skatie420) February 19, 2023

pic.twitter.com/rz9IHcB7gJ
— NO CONTEXT HUMANS 👤 (@HumansNoContext) February 19, 2023

Insanely funny image pic.twitter.com/ZLLggUobsT
— Kyle Koster (@KyleKoster) February 20, 2023

I love to say "Hello beautiful fern" pic.twitter.com/pxMFQp4yyv
— phage (@clubmoss_) February 19, 2023

 
February 20

you don't necessarily miss this stuff you just yearn for a time when capitalism didn't grind you to the bone. now you work a 9-5 and have to make small talk with your co-worker linda who has her ring camera set up on her computers second monitor all day https://t.co/inPITjVByw
— pudding person (@JUNlPER) February 20, 2023

Ya I'll stick with the damn plug-ins then pic.twitter.com/zQWKZp0Bqj
— Harrison (@prodbyharrison) February 20, 2023

Bernie is in town doing media for his book and walked into a TikTok 🤣 pic.twitter.com/74wHvWyv5G
— Wu-Tang is for the Children (@WUTangKids) February 20, 2023

Homicides per 100k residents in 2022…
* Jacksonville FL: 16.7
* New York City: 4.8 https://t.co/7MJ2DBoZi0
— Mark D. Levine (@MarkLevineNYC) February 21, 2023

Scorsese going streaming service to streaming service getting the biggest budgets of his life to make 3 hour dream projects they will absolutely hate is so fucking cool, he's like a cowboy going town to town robbing banks https://t.co/ps2QIP1Vwm
— John Frankensteiner (@JFrankensteiner) February 21, 2023

someone hacked into my netflix account last month and watched every episode of cocomelon and then left me a note pic.twitter.com/QgmXJwVSWm
— Hurt CoPain (@SaeedDiCaprio) February 20, 2023

His shirt from PART II is his bandana in PART III. pic.twitter.com/HCWQe5E8Oq
— Brian Lynch (@BrianLynch) February 20, 2023

No chance is the guy next to me eating a full rack of ribs plus sides on this plane gtf pic.twitter.com/hDD9u6MlPi
— Lanna Tolland (@lannatolland) February 20, 2023

Glenn Danzig, a short muscular man who sings songs about ghouls and skeletons in an Elvis accent is objectively one of the funniest people our culture has produced
— juice thousand (@JuiceThousand) February 20, 2023

"What would the Founding Fathers think" buddy I don't care what my regular father thinks
— gianmarco (@GianmarcoSoresi) February 21, 2023

February 21

my friend just found out 1 year into a relationship that her therapist is her boyfriend's mom
— alli (@sonofalli) February 22, 2023

The great thing about America is that health insurance doesn't cover anything dental so you have to buy dental insurance which, and this is the really stellar part, also does not cover anything dental.
— Ed Burmila (@edburmila) February 21, 2023

people talk a lot of shit about him but i think its amazing jar jar is doing this pic.twitter.com/kLz49yRpCN
— thomas violence (@thomas_violence) February 22, 2023

This is Joyce's masterpiece pic.twitter.com/NYvwqSLA9L
— John Frankensteiner (@JFrankensteiner) February 22, 2023

Me gassin up the fellas at the urinal https://t.co/CQ41hA1oAE
— Nihilist Bucks (@nihilist_bucks) February 22, 2023

When white people are cooking outside with that accent you hear them out a little https://t.co/Q2NU0ZL4e7
— Yennifer of Vengaboys (@MeanChristian) February 21, 2023

can confirm this is true. I went to university and there was not a single white person there. maybe one at most. we called him White Brian pic.twitter.com/gGWSc1qbcu
— Ken Cheng twitch.tv/kenchengcomedy (@kenchengcomedy) February 21, 2023

I Photoshop paddington into a movie, game, TV show, or album until I forget: Day 715 pic.twitter.com/b1UXGzflUa
— Jaythechou (@jaythechou) February 22, 2023

Please please please let this catch on like wildfire pic.twitter.com/NMtMECAlDy
— Fuck You I Quit (@fuckyouiquit) February 21, 2023

IDEA: Frontgammon
— Dave Merritt (@GoldenSeals) February 22, 2023

reading the Jeremy Strong piece for GQ and this specific part has me on the literal floor pic.twitter.com/QXhGYfMwrr
— Emily (@emilybernay) February 22, 2023

My phone pic.twitter.com/NUnxe3Mpgo
— max (derogatory) (@maxafrass) February 21, 2023

 
 February 22

pic.twitter.com/ogH4okjHoM
— NO CONTEXT HUMANS 👤 (@HumansNoContext) February 23, 2023

The empire strikes back. pic.twitter.com/yaoJrAP1xo
— No Context Brits (@NoContextBrits) February 22, 2023

"Are we under attack?" Lmfao no babe we've deregulated everything to save rich people money. https://t.co/6tudrfUSM3
— Sophia Benoit (@1followernodad) February 22, 2023

To whoever laced the Church of the Forgiving Eagle communion wafers with LSD, you are NOT funny and have also probably committed a CRIME!pic.twitter.com/aCZwkY23ti
— Pastor Alex (@PastorAlexLove) February 22, 2023

One of the best things about The Larry Sanders Show was seeing a depiction of what a talk show might be like during the commercial breaks. (And it's a shame that three of these five men are now dead.) pic.twitter.com/bKYQmmIlcZ
— 𝗗𝗘𝗔𝗗𝗦𝗢𝗨𝗡𝗗 💀 (@DeadsoundApp) February 23, 2023

me on the western front: https://t.co/58QW1rVrvW
— Wendell (@RhodeToLove) February 22, 2023

Baby shoes never worn, eat your fucking heart out pic.twitter.com/pCRVMCisLH
— Dolphin Pilot (@TheAmitie) February 22, 2023

finally my car will be safe when two cartoon characters are having a fight offscreen https://t.co/OzFsynaUYR
— the creature (@itmgaltalt) February 22, 2023

Yoooo pascal shakeem is crazy 😳💀 https://t.co/ypcZ9lj7aU
— pascal siakam (@pskills43) February 23, 2023

guy on my 5 hr. flight has been using his seat as a standing desk pic.twitter.com/24UTaQz43n
— downbad capital (@nycdouche_) February 22, 2023

will smith this year has the opportunity to do the funniest thing in history https://t.co/ZbTijNqhar
— rob (@RobertSecundus) February 23, 2023

I have seen Joe Biden defend his country and his wife. https://t.co/sOCwZ6tGes
— Rep. Eric Swalwell (@RepSwalwell) February 23, 2023

 
February 23

Ted Cruz goes to the border cosplaying as Che and is ferried around with other Republicans in a gunboat. But sure, tell more about costumes. https://t.co/KozRz8NgIg pic.twitter.com/opCybXf9RV
— Aaron Rupar (@atrupar) February 23, 2023

To avoid crowds, visit areas that are less crowded.
— National Park Service (@NatlParkService) February 23, 2023

Choose your CanLit fighter:

- Honoured and excited to announce
- Small press guy with anger issues
- Unpublished mega networker
- 18 year old visual poet
- 81 year old visual poet
— Beautiful CanLit (@ILoveCanLit) February 23, 2023

"Here's what you need to know before you see Cocaine Bear" pic.twitter.com/bt512SX0Fs
— Scott Seiss (@ScottSeiss) February 23, 2023

Lmao what kind of wiley e coyote ass painted tunnel on a wall scheme is this pic.twitter.com/on7Li0JTTx
— Zack Bornstein (@ZackBornstein) February 23, 2023

idk how I never saw this clip of Rogan shitting bricks cuz Freddie Gibbs brought up the time Joe called Black people apes pic.twitter.com/NVXAArTp54
— Alice Hamilton (@AliceRHamilton) February 23, 2023

pic.twitter.com/6LAp7WfIRS
— internet hall of fame (@InternetH0F) February 23, 2023

This Funny Week in Funny Tweets: February 24, 2023

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