This Funny Week in Funny Tweets: February 16, 2018
Curling is one of the top three sports that involves Norwegian people yelling at rocks— Mark Agee (@MarkAgee) February 11, 2018
I have a hard time believing racists could hate titties just because they're a different color— Sarah Beattie (@nachosarah) February 10, 2018
When you don't know how to work the new snapchat update pic.twitter.com/JfduYeYKHq— maci gardenhire (@macgardenhire) February 12, 2018
Y'all are stuck in 2018 watching the Olympics in 2D while I'm in the future watching it in 3D pic.twitter.com/CsKHpbZQki— Austin Hoffman (@reallyhoffman) February 11, 2018
this is absurdly homophobic but i cannot stop laughing what the fuck mom pic.twitter.com/dF8u0Lp8Q0— ari (@nightfiIm) February 11, 2018
broke my arm doctor told me to put ice on it pic.twitter.com/e84OAayqBV— codeine cris🍼 (@BLVCKIST) February 11, 2018
millenials are simultaneously the best and worst generation pic.twitter.com/MdkIjYQqBo— rudy mustang (@rudy_mustang) February 12, 2018
I like how every right-wing conspiracy theory hinges entirely on the idea that Obama & Hillary wield invisible power over every facet of government and society, while simultaneously being impotent blundering dunderheads who got nothing at all done while actually in office.— Jules Suzdaltsev (@jules_su) February 13, 2018
I did my own taxes this year so I'm either getting 206 dollars back or I'm going to prison— the hippo account (@InternetHippo) February 13, 2018
Roses are red— pixelated boat [ASMR] binaural ~4 hours~ (@pixelatedboat) February 14, 2018
Candy is delicious pic.twitter.com/DDxXK1EgBl
(Me trying to explain the internet to a time traveler from the past) ummmmmm it's an invisible store where you can call the president a cunt— Megan Amram (@meganamram) February 13, 2018
Love Valentine's Day, love New Year's Eve, love taking the SATs, just love high pressure situations and extreme expectations in general— B.J. Novak (@bjnovak) February 14, 2018
"Hi, it's me, the lawyer to the president who paid a porn star $130,000 out of my own pocket for reasons I won't explain. I assume there will be no further questions." https://t.co/f3xWlDWxmw— Dave Itzkoff (@ditzkoff) February 14, 2018
Happy Valentines Day to all the soulmates who get to spend every moment together nestled inside the warm glow of eternal love pic.twitter.com/FWekQ3kNVu— Matt Oswalt (@MattOswaltVA) February 14, 2018
Wow. Look at all these countries that don't have any mentally ill people pic.twitter.com/qdG4lG9KCb— Andy Richter (@AndyRichter) February 15, 2018
Pro-AR-15 people: be honest. Aren't you fucking EXHAUSTED by now? I've never had to defend something so often, for so long, in the face of such clear evidence that it's bad. And I listen to Dave Matthews Band.— Chase Mitchell (@ChaseMit) February 15, 2018
When a piece of lettuce makes someone sick, we recall all the lettuce— Jess Dweck (@TheDweck) February 15, 2018
The United States is not #1 in much.— Shaun King (@ShaunKing) February 14, 2018
Not education, not healthcare, not economic equality, none of that.
We're #1 in mass shootings and mass incarceration. It's not even close.
That's where we lead. This is what we're the best at.
chaotic good pic.twitter.com/fMwLyyD3eh— tony hawk's underground 2 (@wrycolf) February 16, 2018
I got this Asian friend at work and he and I always arguing, yesterday we were getting into it and a white co-worker walked by and said " hey what's this...Rush Hour 4 ? "— Anthony (@UnkleSteph) February 15, 2018
I called HR
Teens have been eating tide pods for like a month and legislators in multiple states have already introduced bills designed to make it harder for teens to get tide pods.— Ashley Nicole Black (@ashleyn1cole) February 15, 2018
GOP: Abortion is murder!— (((OhNoSheTwitnt))) (@OhNoSheTwitnt) February 15, 2018
What about actual murder?
GOP: Mental illness!
What about healthcare to help treat mental illness?
GOP: Healthcare is a privilege not a right!
I'll be replying to my own tweet with a collage of your network allowing political commentary from a few folks. https://t.co/WUGl1WQSLE— Chris Long (@JOEL9ONE) February 16, 2018
Religious question for @VP. How many porn stars and playmates does Jesus allow us to sleep with when our wife still has the baby weight on?— Jeremy Newberger (@jeremynewberger) February 16, 2018