December 2
i got 99 problems and every one of them is a luftballon
— cecile (@suhhseal) December 2, 2017
This is from 1935 but it's also extremely online pic.twitter.com/xPm3ulwWLQ
— Vapelord420, AKA the Void Liker (@hematomancer) December 3, 2017
It's time to bring my favorite holiday meme back pic.twitter.com/xvOKYf8DaH
— Merry Christmars🎄 (@MarsinCharge) December 2, 2017
December 3
As a lawyer, I can confirm that I frequently compose tweets confessing to crimes and send them from my clients' twitter accounts. It's the first thing you learn at law school.
— The Secret Barrister (@BarristerSecret) December 3, 2017
My cousin is a nurse. Under the Republican tax plan, she would pay a HIGHER tax rate than General Motors.
— Mikel Jollett (@Mikel_Jollett) December 3, 2017
General Motors has $21 BILLION in savings.
My cousin has $1,500.
I can't WAIT until Hillary Clinton goes to prison...
— Jules (@jules_su) December 3, 2017
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... to visit Donald Trump.
I think "Badder Bitches than Taylor Swift" should be a coffeetable book with all those bios of inspirational women.
— Keidra @ Mastodon (@kdc) December 3, 2017
I am leaving Twitter. I can't take all the political banter and the mean and nasty things people say on here anymore. I will be back in an hour.
— 🎄Mattzilla™🎄 (@mattZillaaaa) December 3, 2017
December 4
House of Cards to return with only Robin Wright because in America we have zero tolerance for sexual assault from our fictional presidents.
— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) December 4, 2017
All it takes to get a female lead is for a man to do the worst thing ever unchecked for 30 years https://t.co/WiYG9QeeXL
— Jess Dweck (@TheDweck) December 4, 2017
Interesting how Cernovich, who I cannot say with absolute certainty rapes women even though he has basically bragged that he rapes women and also been accused of rape and convicted of battery, is so effective at policing jokes that come at the expense of rapists.
— Dreidel-vid Klion (@DavidKlion) December 4, 2017
December 5
I can't believe this app is still free pic.twitter.com/8expS6AWoq
— T. Greg Doucette (@greg_doucette) December 5, 2017
California House members just woke up to the fact that this bill raises taxes on their constituents. That's not spin or a rhetorical flourish. They are literally raising taxes on their own voters, and they just figured it out like today.
— Brian Schatz (@brianschatz) December 6, 2017
December 6
Trump really struggling at the end of this speech (dry mouth?), slurs "God bless the United States" pic.twitter.com/aKtrmEUUqx
— David Mack (@davidmackau) December 6, 2017
Republicans: The party that fought tooth & nail to stop gay marriage on the basis that it would lead to pedophilia, are now fighting tooth & nail to elect a pedophile into Congress.
— Jules (@jules_su) December 6, 2017
God Bless the Unted Shache pic.twitter.com/z0h7RHAV27
— Phil Braun (@playazball) December 6, 2017
Two years ago, Kim Davis denied David Ermold a marriage license because he was gay, despite it being legalized.
— Cole Ledford (@ColeLedford11) December 6, 2017
Today, she had to watch as he signed up to run against her in the next election. pic.twitter.com/y6HSoThcNi
December 7
I'm sick of the rapists and liars and traitors and kleptocrats and warmongers and white supremacists and the fact that all the descriptors in this tweet can apply to one person and he runs the USA
— Sarah Kendzior (@sarahkendzior) December 8, 2017
Dear @MooreSenate,
— George Wallace (@MrGeorgeWallace) December 8, 2017
You are the dumbest man in Alabama. Just a dumb, saggy, dumb, child-molesting dumb-dumb. You are dumb. And a liar. And stupid too. And racist. A dumb, saggy, child-molesting, stupid, lying racist.
Also kiss my black ass.
GW
Wouldn't it be powerful if tomorrow the 33 US Senators who called on Al Franken to resign called a press conference and called for Senate hearings on allegations of sexual assault by Donald Trump.
— Amy Siskind (@Amy_Siskind) December 7, 2017
December 8
Since Tommy Wiseau is having a moment, I would like to link to the transcript of my interview with him, the highlight of my journalism career. https://t.co/tbsM6O9EvA pic.twitter.com/QZzNOxxZIz
— Daniel Dale (@ddale8) December 8, 2017
Boy, good thing I didn't end up starting a patreon, what a mess!
— Jon Blair (@okjonblair) December 8, 2017
*goes back to doing freelance work for outlets that never pay me*
oh no
Trump just made even more people angry -- he plans to recognize Lannisport as the capital of Westeros.
— Conan O'Brien (@ConanOBrien) December 8, 2017