Limewire wrapped, the monoLilith feels apt, Trump's witnesses have weird raps, a presidential history streak is briefly snapped, and much more from this week in funny tweets.

November 27

Miss promoting Canadian comedy shows like "hurry, only all the tickets are left!"
— Nigel Homestead (@NigelGrinstead) November 27, 2020

Spotify gave me $2.25 for a song I wrote that was streamed on their platform 125,000 times. Seems fair.
— DEVOJKA (@_devojka_) November 28, 2020

A brief history of US Presidents:

👴🏻👴🏻👴🏻👴🏻👴🏻👴🏻👴🏻👴🏻👴🏻👴🏻👴🏻👴🏻👴🏻👴🏻👴🏻👴🏻👴🏻👴🏻👴🏻👴🏻👴🏻👴🏻👴🏻👴🏻👴🏻👴🏻👴🏻👴🏻👴🏻👴🏻👴🏻👴🏻👴🏻👴🏻👴🏻👴🏻👴🏻👴🏻👴🏻👴🏻👴🏻👴🏻👨🏾‍🦱🤡👴🏻
— 𝙶𝚕𝚎𝚗𝚗 𝙴. 𝙼𝚊𝚛𝚝𝚒𝚗 (@glennEmartin) November 27, 2020

If you hate the Pope bc he's too "liberal" ... I have some very bad news for you about Jesus.
— Kate Kelly (@Kate_Kelly_Esq) November 28, 2020

AOC casually raised $75K+ for low-income families by playing video games for a few hours while educating current & future young voters on the GOP Senate's indifference to pandemic economics. The kind of outreach that Dems typically spend millions in consulting fees to figure out.
— Adam Herman (@AdamZHerman) November 28, 2020

November 28

The way the NFL is handling this covid shit makes me think they didn't even cancel the rest of that game that Bane bombed in The Dark Knight Rises
— 🎄Young Prancer 🎅🏾 (@EricTrillman_) November 29, 2020

Me in high school: WHY AM I SPENDING AN HOUR A DAY LEARNING ABOUT A SUBJECT THAT WON'T HELP ME IN REAL LIFE?

Me now: Oh boy a new episode of my podcast about dolphin social hierarchies
— Daniel Kibblesmith (@kibblesmith) November 28, 2020

pic.twitter.com/q3jta8nPfU
— Chris Somerville (@chrisomerville) November 29, 2020

"i'm a top" "i'm a bottom" and i have the perfect trenchcoat for the two of you
— danny devito with ACAB titties⚪ (@fakedannydevito) November 29, 2020

Men's midlife crises are intensely boring they just get an expensive bike and marry a 30 year old version of the same wife whereas women do fucken cool stuff like open owl cafes, retrain as beekeepers and get phds in necromancy.
— Helen Kingston (@kingstonwrites) November 28, 2020

A little about me pic.twitter.com/5KqULAqHn9
— Andrea Hickey (@andrea_h1ckey) November 28, 2020

November 29

Absolutely incredible that @netflix has put a disclaimer on #TheCrown pic.twitter.com/t47YteBiWv
— fashdad (@fascismdad) November 29, 2020

no they're not "symptoms of depression." they're blues clues
— meredith (@dietz_meredith) November 30, 2020

OMG OMG OMG 😂🤣😂🤣 pic.twitter.com/jGSy9nPkPh
— Jay Arnold 🎬 (@jadedcreative) November 29, 2020

November 30

BREAKING: Monolith Inexplicably Returns... With Stories pic.twitter.com/If61Aj0iaC
— Tim Quirino (@timquirino) November 30, 2020

I have worked in PR for many years: Have written many media releases. Have issued many media releases.

This is one of the best media releases ever. pic.twitter.com/DNNWHp9jR2
— Stephen Murdoch (@canadianprguy) November 30, 2020

Twitter is like having thousands of depressed pen pals
— Lindsay Goldwert (@lindsaygoldwert) November 30, 2020

Some people who conspired to steal the election according to the president: The FBI. His Department of Justice. Judges he appointed. Republican state legislatures. The Republican governors of GA and AZ. And communist machines.
— Rory Cooper (@rorycooper) December 1, 2020

Whenever u ask the most drug addled, sex crazed, brink of death party monster what they do for work they're like, "i'M a nAnNy!!!"
— Heather Jewett (@bimbosummit) November 30, 2020

Hannity: I don't vet the information on this program that I give out pic.twitter.com/xZPdHcR1Bh
— Acyn Torabi (@Acyn) December 1, 2020

https://t.co/ZhoPDVPrlP pic.twitter.com/PSgSa5TJck
— Patrick Monahan (@pattymo) December 1, 2020

Actually, by not paying for rent, office supplies utilities and internet, employers are stealing from workers. https://t.co/bzr3daeSSf
— Richard Whittall (@RWhittall) November 30, 2020

December 1

😩🙏 #SpotifyWrapped pic.twitter.com/r9EEFFUncE
— Sam (@sampagnepapi_) December 2, 2020

Just smaller what's so hard about that pic.twitter.com/4BnhfxKCvV
— cory snearowski (@corysnearowski) December 2, 2020

Salmon is so good. I get why bears stand in rivers and snatch them out of the water lmao
— Brandon Nales (@BrandonNales) December 2, 2020

can y'all just post y'all therapist's advice on twitter so i don't have to go
— tummy on soft 🦦 (@f8the) December 2, 2020

do centaurs wear their karate belt like
this or this pic.twitter.com/cmlUSUN2WE
— slate (@PleaseBeGneiss) December 1, 2020

2016: Lock her up!
2020: Lock him up!
2021: Pardon my family!
— Scott Shapiro (@scottjshapiro) December 1, 2020

Trump before election: Hunter, Hunter, Hunter.

Trump after election: Excuse me while I pardon my kids!
— Alex Cole (@acnewsitics) December 2, 2020

we will reveal a new trans celebrity every day until our demands are met.
— Niko Stratis (@nikostratis) December 1, 2020

December 2

what if god came down to earth and said "it's pronounced jod" and left
— kristofer thomas (@itskristofer) December 2, 2020

paul mccartney making wonderful christmastime pic.twitter.com/yW42cFoIoe
— anja (@internetanja) December 2, 2020

Four weeks ago Hunter Biden was a suspect in an international criminal enterprise and now all the Trump children need pardons.
— 𝕊𝕦𝕟𝕕𝕒𝕖 𝔾𝕦𝕣𝕝 (@Sundae_Gurl) December 3, 2020

I have only two speeds of email reply:

27 seconds
3 weeks
— Patrick Coddou (@soundslikecanoe) December 2, 2020

"the rat is not ratatouille, the rat's name is remy" is the 2000s version of "his name is not frankenstein, he's frankenstein's monster"
— sherry🥺 (@sherrysworld) December 2, 2020

You never hear about sound machines from other cities. Miami really cornered the market on that shit.
— George Wallace (@MrGeorgeWallace) December 2, 2020

a drunk woman is trump team's star witness in michigan pic.twitter.com/qGxEI3hp2G
— marisa kabas (@MarisaKabas) December 3, 2020

idk how i'm feeling about my LinkedIn Wrapped... pic.twitter.com/RtkMJBGsBH
— mattfred (@itsmattfred) December 2, 2020

your spotify wrapped is basically just a list of artists you owe money to lol
— Cloud Nothings (@cloudnothings) December 2, 2020

December 3

LiNkInG pArK-nUmB.exe pic.twitter.com/62djWd53mQ
— the thicc husband & father (@lukeisamazing) December 3, 2020

https://t.co/YNt3nPyLYZ pic.twitter.com/19aJuE6YPH
— Ken Klippenstein (@kenklippenstein) December 3, 2020

dudes will be like "nobody cares about your spotify wrapped" and then post a map of their running route
— Lumberzack (@ItsLumberzack) December 4, 2020

The Shining (2020) pic.twitter.com/27so1GasIJ
— Thor Benson (@thor_benson) December 4, 2020

why would she do this pic.twitter.com/mxNsbx8z6h
— sgt balls 2: 2 sgt 2 balls (@sgtballsvevo) December 3, 2020

NEW: Trump campaign's star witness, Mellissa Carone, was on probation for a year for committing a computer crime court records reveal. pic.twitter.com/ClhgdcsM5M
— Travis Akers (@travisakers) December 3, 2020

Trump's star voter fraud witness has a history of outlandish claims, and insists that ghosts are haunting his family cross-country. https://t.co/4mNVi52ZgI
— Will Sommer (@willsommer) December 3, 2020

Can I retweet this? I can retweet this, can't it? Is it weird if I retweet this. It's hilarious. Okay. . . I'm doing it. https://t.co/ArVnXGQN4b
— Bebe Neuwirth (@BebeNeuwirth) December 4, 2020

This Funny Week in Funny Tweets: December 4, 2020

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