It's confusing and scary, info that's very unnecessary, is it Rob or Gary, texting an ex to be merry, and much more from this week in funny tweets.

December 23

" i saw your ex"
A very unnecessary piece of information
— Shaq ✞ (@triniboyshaq) December 23, 2021

Stop djing we need lawyers
— Checko Spinz (@checkospinz) December 23, 2021

men r always like i need to play this video game really quick for 6 hours
— charles entertainment cheese (@jmurffff) December 24, 2021

stop saying words like "reddit" and "discord" around pretty people. it's scary
— AJA ♆ (@saintMELUSINE) December 23, 2021

vaccinated or not pls stop making hot chocolate with water
— doob🦋 (@taurusdoob) December 23, 2021

So many people need a hug, a forehead kiss, and a grilled cheese cut diagonal.
— Suspiciously Nice Prof (@steph_teasley) December 23, 2021

Quite possibly the best sign I have seen before the day ends 😂 pic.twitter.com/0s2Vq3ZesR
— Sukh Dubb 💙 (@SukhSDubb) December 23, 2021

Me looking thru the little window on the bag of pasta pic.twitter.com/w6cMPEumZR
— Kyle Harris (@heykyleharris) December 23, 2021

Cash is a great gift to me. If you ever wondering what you should get me or what I like; I like cash
— 6'7 Odogwu (@SheWantsTheVic) December 24, 2021

Happy holidays, from the PA turnpike spool. pic.twitter.com/XosyvB2M6v
— Brett "Unions 2021" Banditelli (@banditelli) December 23, 2021

December 24

so i bought an already fucked looking garfield toy, but then it showed up vacuum sealed, and oh my god pic.twitter.com/iv15w1e0GG
— Mira Gonzalez (@miragonz) December 24, 2021

at this point fuck it let's just do jurassic park. who cares https://t.co/pg0OoK2GUr
— Keefler (@Keefler_Elf) December 24, 2021

if Arthur not black why the theme song reggae
— 💎 (@callmeru_) December 24, 2021

got invited to an "alcohol-free christmas carol singalong" pic.twitter.com/F03vC6YsCF
— wrecks (@oldredtree) December 24, 2021

He made this as decoration for Christmas and the neighbours called 911 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 pic.twitter.com/dC0xJ57jyV
— Blay 🤞🏿🇬🇭 (@Blayofficial) December 24, 2021

Literally the point of this story is that The Grinch is redeemed (dare I say 'rehabilitated') without the intervention of any form of carceral apparatus. https://t.co/oiggpvJDWg
— Happiness Vampire (@nkalamb) December 24, 2021

Lull in Xmas Eve conversation, my mom turns to my bf and goes "Ethan where were you on 9/11?"
— Ned Riseley (@nriseley) December 25, 2021

SOMEONE LEFT A FULL PLATE OF COOKIES. AND A GLASS OF MILK. RIGHT BY THE FIREPLACE FOR ME. I AM NOT KIDDING. WHAT A NIGHT
— Thoughts of Dog® (@dog_feelings) December 25, 2021

pic.twitter.com/UKTrwo6Wq9
— Box Fan On High All Year Round (@TerrellChuggs) December 25, 2021

December 25

Was the night SILENT or was it SILENCED? pic.twitter.com/NlFkPfDP4d
— ❄️🎄Wreath Nagy🎄❄️ (@nagy_minaj) December 25, 2021

americans love telling you it's 60 degrees on christmas day. brother, i have no idea what the fuck that means.
— the banks are out of money (@mrgracemugabe) December 26, 2021

pic.twitter.com/PpeKRpiy9K
— KonstantinBoristovich🐮🛠🧝🏼‍♀️🐗👜 (@HardSciFiMovies) December 25, 2021

I asked my 7-year-old daughter what one book she would like to have on a desert island.

She said, "A book about how to survive on a desert island."
— Blake Hounshell (@blakehounshell) December 26, 2021

The worst thing about growing-up and Christmas is how sitting quietly reading your new book and ignoring everyone goes from "well-behaved, quiet child" to "rude and antisocial".
— Joxley (@Mr_John_Oxley) December 25, 2021

Said fuck you to my boyfriend in front of his family because he gave a confusing clue in the board game
— wendleton's ment (@goodjobmaya) December 26, 2021

i may be dumb but not dumb enough to text my ex merry christmas 🙄🙄🙄
— gen ⍤ (@genmnz) December 25, 2021

Date idea: Fight another couple.
— ShockedEaglesfan (@_JimmyNuetron) December 26, 2021

The male urge to come in the kitchen when the meal is 95% cooked and say "how can I help?"
— Emily Murnane (@emily_murnane) December 25, 2021

me trying to get a bartender's attention pic.twitter.com/YeZXyvHEzn
— bronco jason goldberg (@imjasongoldberg) December 26, 2021

last year I forgot to get batteries for my niece's toy so this year she got me this pic.twitter.com/bDiSpvCKe4
— Parker (@panoparker) December 25, 2021

christmas is all about coming to terms with the fact that your family has no idea who you are or what you like lol
— ce n'est pas erica (@sourhoestarter) December 25, 2021

my sister gave me this hoodie for christmas and it is legitimately the most insane thing i've ever seen in my life pic.twitter.com/VCwqqqiVCS
— Kendrick (@M150Kendrick) December 25, 2021

"buying nfts supports artists!!!" ok but what has been stopping you from pay artists thousand of dollars before nfts ???? hell you can pay me thousands of dollars for my art and i'll even get crazy and send you it's physical form
— ☆ parisian cowgirl ☆ (@cartierdior) December 26, 2021

December 26

I used to draw tf out of a Sun in the corner of a paper when I was a kid.
— aust (@austuck) December 26, 2021

pic.twitter.com/X4U6FjziUs
— Inquisitive James (@gommunisd) December 27, 2021

When you get a running nose in December pic.twitter.com/aRYS2ovBM7
— Dennis N (@DennisN) December 26, 2021

they should invent a pandemic that ends
— bbqueen (@ngocbbuii) December 27, 2021

R.E.M flat out lied about how I would feel at the end of the world as we know it.
— Georgina Adlam (@GeorginaAdlam) December 27, 2021

the pandemic rendered useless a whole level of management whose entire job was to physically monitor the employees and the bosses are MAD
— Molly Priddy (@mollypriddy) December 26, 2021

Passed my Covid test! pic.twitter.com/hbgfTVc0ra
— lexaprofessional (@queasy_f_bby) December 26, 2021

I don't have a single new password left in me
— Annemarie Dooling (@TravelingAnna) December 27, 2021

choose your fighter pic.twitter.com/QDKuAhKQpk
— dana with a d (@terriblytrans) December 26, 2021

imagine u in court and they bring out nardwuar as a witness
— Spac𝓮 ⭐️ (@sadcrib) December 26, 2021

i'm sorry, but 10% off my first order is not worth receiving 10 emails and 5 texts a day.
— cds (@personne_noire) December 27, 2021

December 27

vegan restaurants be like would you like a buffaleaux chiq'qened sandwish with rantsche dressing or a chii's beauregar
— and a chrißy new year (@chribbzz) December 28, 2021

the first person to ever throw up was probably like ok what the fuck
— ells (@elliepeek) December 27, 2021

My Uber driver lost and farting. 0 stars for you my boy
— Young(est) Thug ひ (@dertyduchess) December 28, 2021

Me: [buys a faucet head to replace one that broke after 15 years]

Amazon: This guy fucken loves faucet heads
— Pete Lynch (@PJTLynch) December 27, 2021

Did I ever show this text interaction with my grandmother? pic.twitter.com/efM8GByoS5
— Mippness (@mippness) December 28, 2021

This still one f the wildest captions I've ever seen 😭😭😭😭😭 pic.twitter.com/KW6RHJunrb
— ♛SSJ Rosé ℳelku Black (@OGMelo_) December 27, 2021

spilled tbh pic.twitter.com/c2nwQMrdnv
— vincent 💘 (@mcarlovincent) December 28, 2021

inside you there are two wolves pic.twitter.com/EkfLvt10v7
— lexi shaye (@lexishaye_) December 27, 2021

Apparently, the average person has sex around 51 times a year.

Not sure I'm ready for the next four days, tbh.
— Kate Lister (@k8_lister) December 27, 2021

December 28

I would like us to be done with the pandemic but continue the 'not doing things,' if that makes sense
— Ginny Hogan_ (@ginnyhogan_) December 28, 2021

why are you, a sentient being, emailing my work email on December 28
— jackson howard (@jaxxonhoward) December 28, 2021

top 10 tweet of the year pic.twitter.com/xLFlbAsw59
— angelo (@ItalianBladee) December 29, 2021

why delete they was spittin pic.twitter.com/Rt120y8XHF
— Published Author (@Ter0me) December 28, 2021

pic.twitter.com/LFDPa9KHrz
— Axe🗿🇵🇸 (@westernunion2k) December 28, 2021

Mfs used to play hide and seek and be like "Bro I'm not even playing" after getting caught, Like bro tf is u doing under the car then
— 𝗕𝗿𝗲𝗲𝘇𝘆'😵‍💫 (@OvOBrezzzy) December 28, 2021

couldn't remember rob zombies name for a few minutes and trying to remember without googling I thought it was "gary halloween"
— valerie faye ❌ (@StealingValerie) December 28, 2021

December 29

Will Smith's character on Fresh Prince was named "Will" because he was new at acting so it was easier. People would say "Hey Will?" And he'd go "Yes? I am genuinely Will"
— Chris Locke (@chrislockeworld) December 29, 2021

Just saw a guy have to click three things on his watch to see what time it is...
— Nathan Macintosh (@Nathanmacintosh) December 29, 2021

My son put some Trix in his ant farm. Instead of eating them, the ants dug up all of the dead ants in the farm and piled them on top of the Trix. Not sure what that means but I'm not eating Trix anymore.
— octopus/caveman (@OctopusCaveman) December 29, 2021

Weed-infused snacks really cornered the market on the word "edibles" which technically describes all food.
— Josh Gondelman (@joshgondelman) December 29, 2021

We had a guy who was similar to Boba Fett in Kitchener-Waterloo
— john-john (@bennnnst) December 29, 2021

This Funny Week in Funny Tweets: December 30, 2021

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