I love you, Willem Dafoe's name is true, QR code ado, Netflix would've stopped COVID after season two, and much more from this week in funny tweets.<br>
<br>
<strong>December 17</strong><br>
&nbsp;
<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">IT'S BEGINNING TO LOOK A LOT LIKE<br>
FUCK</p>
— Dave Merritt (@GoldenSeals) <a href="https://twitter.com/GoldenSeals/status/1471863777859616770?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">December 17, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">When you get the Rona test positive it should show you a little video of the moment you got infected like a Call of Duty killcam</p>
— futch van der linde (@AliceAvizandum) <a href="https://twitter.com/AliceAvizandum/status/1471855020236750850?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">December 17, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">ugh, a so called "fan of mine" showed up last night. <a href="https://t.co/c0S5Edwi38">pic.twitter.com/c0S5Edwi38</a></p>
— Tim Heidecker (@timheidecker) <a href="https://twitter.com/timheidecker/status/1472054821452541955?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">December 18, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">men are linking up to gossip and calling it a podcast</p>
— t🇧🇧 (@tiannelisex) <a href="https://twitter.com/tiannelisex/status/1471849549132091392?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">December 17, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">one night years ago, one of my coworkers was talking to another and said<br>
<br>
"they're making a Dr. Strange movie! You hear about that??"<br>
<br>
and the other guy was like "man I don't know nothing about Mr. Strange. Don't ever talk to me about that shit again."</p>
— 🎄Brandon Streussnig 🎄 (@BrndnStrssng) <a href="https://twitter.com/BrndnStrssng/status/1471766894025846789?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">December 17, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">What haunts me is that I am just not smart enough for so many people to be this much stupider than I am.</p>
— Kate Harding (@KateHarding) <a href="https://twitter.com/KateHarding/status/1471930535052201987?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">December 17, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Twitter is actually a fun place to be when things are falling apart on a global level</p>
— candace (@LifeinCandyland) <a href="https://twitter.com/LifeinCandyland/status/1471908926274908168?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">December 17, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">as this surge worsens, remember the rule: socializing by night, covid's delight/workplace by day, covid stays away</p>
— rax 'grinchphobe' king (@RaxKingIsDead) <a href="https://twitter.com/RaxKingIsDead/status/1471997849764339723?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">December 18, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">I can't think of anyone who has had a better year than the QR code. What a comeback.</p>
— Grace Mulvey (@GraceMulvey1) <a href="https://twitter.com/GraceMulvey1/status/1471800525834407941?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">December 17, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">the hospital <a href="https://t.co/o207BLFojt">pic.twitter.com/o207BLFojt</a></p>
— patrick (@Labazo) <a href="https://twitter.com/Labazo/status/1471887159888121860?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">December 17, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Them: we have to wear masks again 😔<br>
<br>
Me: we stopped wearing masks? 🤔</p>
— D. King, MD (@doctorORbust) <a href="https://twitter.com/doctorORbust/status/1471968257536057353?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">December 17, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<strong>December 18</strong><br>
&nbsp;
<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">times are starting to feel precedented</p>
— shelby wolstein (@ShelbyWolstein) <a href="https://twitter.com/ShelbyWolstein/status/1472333107240095750?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">December 18, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Viruses Exes<br>
🤝<br>
"I'm back and I've changed"</p>
— Daley Haggar (@d_haggar) <a href="https://twitter.com/d_haggar/status/1472347936080084992?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">December 18, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">We have fucked this up so bad that the next strain of COVID gonna be transmissible through a stern look</p>
— Brittani Nichols (@BisHilarious) <a href="https://twitter.com/BisHilarious/status/1472245746237906951?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">December 18, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">hitting the grocery store raw<br>
(no list just vibes)</p>
— old tom (@YuckyTom) <a href="https://twitter.com/YuckyTom/status/1472252579753168904?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">December 18, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Shout out to the stone cold freak at the remote control factory who decided that the batteries always need to be 69ing in there.</p>
— Josh Gondelman (@joshgondelman) <a href="https://twitter.com/joshgondelman/status/1472284485072924674?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">December 18, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Wtf am I gonna do next lockdown like I already realized I'm gay what now</p>
— Allison O'Conor (@allisonoconor) <a href="https://twitter.com/allisonoconor/status/1472316744467468296?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">December 18, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">If COVID happened pre-internet, everybody would be vaccinated.</p>
— Scott Terrio (@ScottTerrioHMA) <a href="https://twitter.com/ScottTerrioHMA/status/1472232895511212033?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">December 18, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<strong>December 19</strong><br>
&nbsp;
<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">I am HOWLING at this <a href="https://t.co/EC8BPhsiP1">pic.twitter.com/EC8BPhsiP1</a></p>
— Megan (@megantwentytwo) <a href="https://twitter.com/megantwentytwo/status/1472734254115303431?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">December 20, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">"We are living in a computer simulation." - computer guys<br>
<br>
"We are living in a huge cake." - bakers<br>
<br>
"Reality is a bunch of sick dogs and cats." - vet</p>
— Old Silk Hat (@mbalazo) <a href="https://twitter.com/mbalazo/status/1472584201681747969?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">December 19, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Let's have Netflix run the next pandemic. They don't let anything get three seasons</p>
— Belton (@BeltonDelToro) <a href="https://twitter.com/BeltonDelToro/status/1472694948625588228?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">December 19, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">The millennial urge to care more about not giving your family Covid than they care about getting it.</p>
— Holly Jolly Ballantine (@HollyBallantine) <a href="https://twitter.com/HollyBallantine/status/1472721147590496263?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">December 20, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">can't believe wearing masks when we walked in and then taking them off when we sat down didn't work</p>
— karl hess (@karlhess) <a href="https://twitter.com/karlhess/status/1472645774664249344?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">December 19, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Today, for the first time, I saw a pregnancy test commercial where the person was excited NOT to be pregnant and I smiled ear to ear because representation matters</p>
— Kenice Mobley (@kenicemobley) <a href="https://twitter.com/kenicemobley/status/1472652724063948813?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">December 19, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">who's hiring (nothing hard) (nothing gross) (part time only) (short commute) (no customers)</p>
— ﾗｲｶ (@zzzroadkill) <a href="https://twitter.com/zzzroadkill/status/1472786656818126851?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">December 20, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<strong>December 20</strong><br>
&nbsp;
<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">believe in myself?? the same person who got me into this mess?</p>
— Amanda Rosenberg (@AmandaRosenberg) <a href="https://twitter.com/AmandaRosenberg/status/1472983436637839361?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">December 20, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Why is the winner of Miss Universe always from Earth?</p>
— OG (@trillary_banks_) <a href="https://twitter.com/trillary_banks_/status/1472938791858020356?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">December 20, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">not all heroes wear capes <a href="https://t.co/YdvsVcFBjs">pic.twitter.com/YdvsVcFBjs</a></p>
— moron (@moronmcbee) <a href="https://twitter.com/moronmcbee/status/1473111106055020544?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">December 21, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">there's just no way this person isn't a super villain <a href="https://t.co/kNVW7HzFj9">pic.twitter.com/kNVW7HzFj9</a></p>
— tweety (@weirdwithwords) <a href="https://twitter.com/weirdwithwords/status/1473116111768072194?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">December 21, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">These are DayQuil and NyQuil <a href="https://t.co/eQ1aqD5MVS">pic.twitter.com/eQ1aqD5MVS</a></p>
— Allison Rose (@allierosejokes) <a href="https://twitter.com/allierosejokes/status/1473094476956590080?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">December 21, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">I'll go to bed soon I just wanna read like 4 more things that make me furious</p>
— jon drake (@DrakeGatsby) <a href="https://twitter.com/DrakeGatsby/status/1473162882632364035?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">December 21, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">being a writer on Twitter: <a href="https://t.co/HLXIy9i9Et">pic.twitter.com/HLXIy9i9Et</a></p>
— Amy Suiter Clarke (@asuiterclarke) <a href="https://twitter.com/asuiterclarke/status/1473162903775703046?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">December 21, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">absolutely losing it at my parents' Christmas tree <a href="https://t.co/M8dFmei1OJ">pic.twitter.com/M8dFmei1OJ</a></p>
— Dr. Anna Hughes (@AnnaGHughes) <a href="https://twitter.com/AnnaGHughes/status/1473130651750526979?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">December 21, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Question for lawyers: my girlfriend wants her parents to stay with us for the holidays. her dad is retired navy. can i use the 3rd amendment to prevent this from happening?</p>
— billy brew (@BillyBrew) <a href="https://twitter.com/BillyBrew/status/1473121261496717312?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">December 21, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<strong>December 21</strong><br>
&nbsp;
<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">me: *turns on tv*<br>
<br>
my mom: it is now time for my one woman show "the loudest sounds in the house" with special guest "frequent unnecessary questions!!!!!"</p>
— Niccole Thurman (@niccolethurman) <a href="https://twitter.com/niccolethurman/status/1473434638647496704?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">December 21, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Native kids are ruthless. Overheard a student make a dad joke and the student replied:<br>
<br>
"Jokes on you, I don't have a dad."<br>
<br>
And they both laughed. Native humor is different 😂</p>
— Shaunna (@knifeshaunna) <a href="https://twitter.com/knifeshaunna/status/1473372407641505792?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">December 21, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">You say that it's fucked that gingerbread men live in gingerbread houses, but to a gingerbread person, gingerbread is as inscrutable and fundamental as carbon. The people and homes are no more alike than humans are to diamonds. Only we, their gods and creators, can see the horror</p>
— Ethan Hardy (@ethanhardy) <a href="https://twitter.com/ethanhardy/status/1473278732676837382?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">December 21, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">willem dafoe is such a good villain his name is literally french for willem da enemy</p>
— god rest ye merry gentlemen (@yedoye_) <a href="https://twitter.com/yedoye_/status/1473413083804618762?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">December 21, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">what the hell <a href="https://t.co/Ndy0LSqx21">pic.twitter.com/Ndy0LSqx21</a></p>
— cory (harvard graduate) (@coolmathgame_) <a href="https://twitter.com/coolmathgame_/status/1473437127769669633?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">December 21, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Honestly don't even know why I try to fit in with the guys. 😔 <a href="https://t.co/jP9Mx3P6q5">pic.twitter.com/jP9Mx3P6q5</a></p>
— Dan White (@atdanwhite) <a href="https://twitter.com/atdanwhite/status/1473434622348439559?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">December 21, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Covid really went back watched film and got better</p>
— Kill 🙏🏽⚡️ (@_Rashad25) <a href="https://twitter.com/_Rashad25/status/1473494692163686405?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">December 22, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<strong>December 22</strong><br>
&nbsp;
<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">We need to love Covid…hate will only make it stronger ❤️</p>
— Nick Nemeroff (@nicknemeroff) <a href="https://twitter.com/nicknemeroff/status/1473679592493830161?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">December 22, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">when does the government vaccine start controlling my mind? i am tired of making decisions</p>
— slate (@PleaseBeGneiss) <a href="https://twitter.com/PleaseBeGneiss/status/1473768682064998404?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">December 22, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">I have a 200mg ibuprofen in my back right molar that I can bite into in case I'm ever in a situation where my head starts to hurt a little bit</p>
— Will Sennett (@Senn_Spud) <a href="https://twitter.com/Senn_Spud/status/1473741532343803912?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">December 22, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">all my friends are getting covid and i'm starting to suspect they're all hanging out without me</p>
— i can be your long lost pal (@PallaviGunalan) <a href="https://twitter.com/PallaviGunalan/status/1473591190033362945?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">December 22, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">if you got omicron it just means youre cool as fuck and people love hanging out with you</p>
— Patrick (@lunch_enjoyer) <a href="https://twitter.com/lunch_enjoyer/status/1473716220939616262?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">December 22, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">My boyfriend and his parents keep telling me "you have the house to yourself today!" but I know that what they mean is that they all made plans and I am not invited.</p>
— Clare Belford (@clarebelford) <a href="https://twitter.com/clarebelford/status/1473744833512624129?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">December 22, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">I will be you NFT girlfriend, you can't ever touch me or interact with me in real life but if you pay me enough money you can go around telling people I'm yours.</p>
— maura quint (@behindyourback) <a href="https://twitter.com/behindyourback/status/1473660238016520192?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">December 22, 2021</a></blockquote>
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Vish Khanna

This Funny Week in Funny Tweets: December 23, 2021

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