Incorrectly assuming something is a date, license plate hate, conquering a milk crate, when your demons levitate, and much more from this week in funny tweets.&nbsp;<br>
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<strong>August 20</strong>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">I am 32 years old and still deeply terrified that consuming anything from the hotel room minibar will bankrupt my entire family somehow</p>
— Armand Domalewski (@ArmandDoma) <a href="https://twitter.com/ArmandDoma/status/1428900898449756163?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 21, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">i love the adult friends part of the relationship with your parents. i get to say "yeah i'm scared of commitment because you and dad fucked me up" at lunch and we just laaaaaugh. pass the salt girl we're having fun.</p>
— 𝗰𝗮𝗹𝗲𝗯 𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗼𝗻 (@calebsaysthings) <a href="https://twitter.com/calebsaysthings/status/1428791107702296577?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 20, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">the perfect license plate <a href="https://t.co/c8C873niMP">pic.twitter.com/c8C873niMP</a></p>
— Rob N Roll (@thegallowboob) <a href="https://twitter.com/thegallowboob/status/1428895743557832725?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 21, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">what the hell oreos <a href="https://t.co/qmSTmG5EPd">pic.twitter.com/qmSTmG5EPd</a></p>
— carter hambley (@carterhambley) <a href="https://twitter.com/carterhambley/status/1428797863648108545?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 20, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">ICUs filling up. Half COVID patients. Half milk crate challenge victims.</p>
— Marcus (@STOPFLEXIN) <a href="https://twitter.com/STOPFLEXIN/status/1428939167019438082?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 21, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<strong>August 21</strong>

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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">The CIA dropped them milk crates off in the hood</p>
— Kneezy, Esq. (@Knickolas_) <a href="https://twitter.com/Knickolas_/status/1429225896221761542?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 21, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">I'm about to buy this. I haven't slept good in a while. <a href="https://t.co/Mxn0Kn6bh7">pic.twitter.com/Mxn0Kn6bh7</a></p>
— ً (@strongandbald) <a href="https://twitter.com/strongandbald/status/1429320841268011008?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 22, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Follow the what? <a href="https://t.co/LpSfxoTkaX">pic.twitter.com/LpSfxoTkaX</a></p>
— Roshan Rinaldi (@Roshan_Rinaldi) <a href="https://twitter.com/Roshan_Rinaldi/status/1429062256680214529?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 21, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Why did I make this <a href="https://t.co/3TRQoOTuMk">pic.twitter.com/3TRQoOTuMk</a></p>
— Ben!&nbsp; (@Benimated) <a href="https://twitter.com/Benimated/status/1429321637082669064?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 22, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">you had meat coffee <a href="https://t.co/kSZuf1qHwM">pic.twitter.com/kSZuf1qHwM</a></p>
— lamb chop (@lilmissagitated) <a href="https://twitter.com/lilmissagitated/status/1429267870555402240?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 22, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">The more things change, the more they stay the same. <a href="https://t.co/gG1tilLkpk">pic.twitter.com/gG1tilLkpk</a></p>
— Kerria (@Kerria) <a href="https://twitter.com/Kerria/status/1429117444803674114?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 21, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">seems like H&amp;M is expecting a rush on Victorian funerals <a href="https://t.co/PqTRlyg34H">pic.twitter.com/PqTRlyg34H</a></p>
— 💀 (@littIe_dead) <a href="https://twitter.com/littIe_dead/status/1429143089025781765?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 21, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">hey man, come through we're at the new brewery in the worst part of town. it's at 300% capacity and there's one bartender.</p>
— richard (@richard_normal) <a href="https://twitter.com/richard_normal/status/1429189993709326338?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 21, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="und" dir="ltr"><a href="https://t.co/4luh4MUnnr">pic.twitter.com/4luh4MUnnr</a></p>
— 404 (@ilovegothchicks) <a href="https://twitter.com/ilovegothchicks/status/1428982992437800963?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 21, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<strong>August 22</strong>

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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">A fortune teller told me I'd suffer awful heartbreak in 12 years. To cheer myself up I bought a puppy.</p>
— Andy Ryan (@ItsAndyRyan) <a href="https://twitter.com/ItsAndyRyan/status/1429610037316575243?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 23, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">I love that choosing where you want to live now is just deciding which natural disasters you could put up with</p>
— Soel Jchillinger (@Soeljchillinger) <a href="https://twitter.com/Soeljchillinger/status/1429480263797649418?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 22, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="und" dir="ltr">??? <a href="https://t.co/gz7lvHj0SN">pic.twitter.com/gz7lvHj0SN</a></p>
— marisa ♡ (@rismanagement) <a href="https://twitter.com/rismanagement/status/1429623747754053633?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 23, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">I can't stop watching milk crate challenge videos 🤣💀<a href="https://t.co/V8Uh8G3Omi">pic.twitter.com/V8Uh8G3Omi</a></p>
— Wu-Tang Is For The Children (@WUTangKids) <a href="https://twitter.com/WUTangKids/status/1429593174205419521?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 22, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="und" dir="ltr">🏆🏆🏆 <a href="https://t.co/twie7OWtvG">pic.twitter.com/twie7OWtvG</a></p>
— rickie jacobs (@airjacobs) <a href="https://twitter.com/airjacobs/status/1429641562640822274?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 23, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Finna practice on level one <a href="https://t.co/QPwg8PI6yO">pic.twitter.com/QPwg8PI6yO</a></p>
— Nessa🤍 (@nessiitta) <a href="https://twitter.com/nessiitta/status/1429565516436418561?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 22, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Hellllll yeah that's what I'm talking about brother <a href="https://t.co/7PO3UTptmD">pic.twitter.com/7PO3UTptmD</a></p>
— Dave Scheidt (@DaveScheidt) <a href="https://twitter.com/DaveScheidt/status/1429526619216044045?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 22, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">"Hello Pearl Jam? You suck" <a href="https://t.co/Kl8Y5TLRaY">pic.twitter.com/Kl8Y5TLRaY</a></p>
— Chris Locke (@chrislockeworld) <a href="https://twitter.com/chrislockeworld/status/1429524789094490117?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 22, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Just remembering all the times when my mom would be like "you guys and your dad go without me, I'll just stay here and read" and we truly felt sorry for her and WAIT A MINUTE</p>
— Amber Sparks (@ambernoelle) <a href="https://twitter.com/ambernoelle/status/1429501266015789061?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 22, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<strong>August 23</strong>

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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">do you ever leave a social situation and you're just like mmm that was not my best work</p>
— Delia Cai (@delia_cai) <a href="https://twitter.com/delia_cai/status/1429969528625274885?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 24, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">never using doordash again wtf <a href="https://t.co/MYacoRg6d1">pic.twitter.com/MYacoRg6d1</a></p>
— Chris (@chrisaileo) <a href="https://twitter.com/chrisaileo/status/1429929471583395853?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 23, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">i don't wanna <a href="https://t.co/AWCMOBhZ5U">pic.twitter.com/AWCMOBhZ5U</a></p>
— NurseBrianRN (@rn_murse) <a href="https://twitter.com/rn_murse/status/1429775744532631553?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 23, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">A cool thing about getting older is you hear from your skeleton a lot more</p>
— 👩🏻‍🚀 (@lanyardigan) <a href="https://twitter.com/lanyardigan/status/1429830242395332612?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 23, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Whooooooo did this? 😂 <a href="https://t.co/dCGH5bTxhS">pic.twitter.com/dCGH5bTxhS</a></p>
— The Notorious JSC (@jenniesweetcush) <a href="https://twitter.com/jenniesweetcush/status/1429952951871811592?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 23, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">for a decade everyone had a home printer, now no one has a home printer. What were we printing</p>
— personal anatomical (@collnsmith) <a href="https://twitter.com/collnsmith/status/1429824096515371013?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 23, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">"i dont want to be part of the vaccine experiment" bro you are. youre just in the control group.</p>
— hotdogs mcgee (@hideymchideface) <a href="https://twitter.com/hideymchideface/status/1429840792684843009?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 23, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<strong>August 24</strong>

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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">remember this genre of music from like 2011. i like to call it stomp clap hey. that shit sucked lmao <a href="https://t.co/HfMljMcKzB">pic.twitter.com/HfMljMcKzB</a></p>
— brain man (@lemonade_grrrl) <a href="https://twitter.com/lemonade_grrrl/status/1430306592457596929?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 24, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">I gasped <a href="https://t.co/PxdSeQSXcA">pic.twitter.com/PxdSeQSXcA</a></p>
— Scott Meslow (@scottmeslow) <a href="https://twitter.com/scottmeslow/status/1430265040066711560?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 24, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">why is she so mad about costco <a href="https://t.co/6OhQBOMMwe">pic.twitter.com/6OhQBOMMwe</a></p>
— hayley ! (@crocteautwins) <a href="https://twitter.com/crocteautwins/status/1430357763079741444?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 25, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Pol Pot kept control of Cambodia by killing a quarter of its population. Can the same ploy work for Ron DeSantis in Florida?</p>
— New York Times Pitchbot (@DougJBalloon) <a href="https://twitter.com/DougJBalloon/status/1430157176635547648?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 24, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Today the vet told me that since Covid, they've had to treat a number of cats with depression caused by irritation that their people are at home all day. Obviously it's not really funny but… that's the most Cat thing I've ever heard. Apparently dogs do not have the same problem.</p>
— 🌟 joannamont 🌟 (@joannamont) <a href="https://twitter.com/joannamont/status/1430264566013911051?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 24, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<strong>August 25</strong>

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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Delta CEO calling the delta variant by its formal name <a href="https://t.co/71UlTYKwBn">pic.twitter.com/71UlTYKwBn</a></p>
— Hannah Sampson (@hannahbsampson) <a href="https://twitter.com/hannahbsampson/status/1430534321283141634?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 25, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">we put bees in all of the desks, please come back to the office <a href="https://t.co/fDZXCXsrwd">pic.twitter.com/fDZXCXsrwd</a></p>
— metaltxt (@metaltxt) <a href="https://twitter.com/metaltxt/status/1430574786241912832?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 25, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="und" dir="ltr"><a href="https://t.co/tE7gUcDl0n">pic.twitter.com/tE7gUcDl0n</a></p>
— Chevy Chase (@ChevyChaseToGo) <a href="https://twitter.com/ChevyChaseToGo/status/1430571771158310923?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 25, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Fox News saved my life. I was in the hospital in a coma after a terrible accident and couldn't move. A friend came to visit me and turned on Fox News. I immediately got up and changed the channel.</p>
— KPMoore (@KPMoore8) <a href="https://twitter.com/KPMoore8/status/1430624594969382914?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 25, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Dad jokes are ok but Mom Jokes are insisting that a squirrel she sees a lot is the mayor of the neighborhood and every time you talk she says "I saw the mayor today."</p>
— how's annie? (@ventriclemouse) <a href="https://twitter.com/ventriclemouse/status/1430631994178904070?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 25, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">I think this finally settles the argument deciding if the Beatles were any good <a href="https://t.co/0TIwxuosCt">pic.twitter.com/0TIwxuosCt</a></p>
— Mcjulian2.0 (@McJulianAgain) <a href="https://twitter.com/McJulianAgain/status/1430477491769122824?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 25, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<strong>August 26</strong>

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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Ah, the mighty innovations of capitalism... <a href="https://t.co/geHzFwfV9L">pic.twitter.com/geHzFwfV9L</a></p>
— Vape Shop Johnson (@TheGigconomist) <a href="https://twitter.com/TheGigconomist/status/1430783739727020033?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 26, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">boomer mindset undefeated <a href="https://t.co/fqTtOTII4I">pic.twitter.com/fqTtOTII4I</a></p>
— chase (@chuchugoogoo) <a href="https://twitter.com/chuchugoogoo/status/1430883355583827973?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 26, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">♬ It's so goddamn hot outside,<br>
Everybody on the beach is basically throwing up! ♬ <a href="https://t.co/dnysnEaSuG">pic.twitter.com/dnysnEaSuG</a></p>
— Michael A. Balazo (@mbalazo) <a href="https://twitter.com/mbalazo/status/1430945892811558913?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 26, 2021</a></blockquote>
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Vish Khanna

This Funny Week in Funny Tweets: August 27, 2021

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