It's weird how we fly, don't cry, looking the sock in the eye, hotdog high, and much more from this week in funny tweets.<br>
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<strong>August 6</strong>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">hot girl summer is over. it is time for silly goose fall</p>
— zach silberberg (@zachsilberberg) <a href="https://twitter.com/zachsilberberg/status/1423805878302658564?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 7, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">what the <a href="https://t.co/SFkdC3k8Cs">pic.twitter.com/SFkdC3k8Cs</a></p>
— Dalia (@TheBlahDalia) <a href="https://twitter.com/TheBlahDalia/status/1423810874276519939?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 7, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">alexander graham bell: i invented the telephone!<br>
<br>
his brother, taco: i'm working on some pretty big stuff too</p>
— the hype (@TheHyyyype) <a href="https://twitter.com/TheHyyyype/status/1423834795541475328?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 7, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="und" dir="ltr"><a href="https://t.co/S8mVd1EOpk">pic.twitter.com/S8mVd1EOpk</a></p>
— BERSERK (@srslyberserk) <a href="https://twitter.com/srslyberserk/status/1423840123842613252?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 7, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">This person is a psychopath… There's nothing more to it. <a href="https://t.co/XR8dOeN3i2">pic.twitter.com/XR8dOeN3i2</a></p>
— Yup (@SCoxFB) <a href="https://twitter.com/SCoxFB/status/1423686339828936704?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 6, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Plane rides are weird to me bc why are this many people leaving from the where I am and going where I'm going on the exact same day, and time</p>
— issa Dee (@Dahreeka) <a href="https://twitter.com/Dahreeka/status/1423701165456379904?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 6, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<strong>August 7</strong>

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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">My seat mate on my flight is a 6 year old little girl who started our trip with "I'm going to talk to you randomly so you need to be prepared, ok?"</p>
— Kati Hartwig (@KatiHartwig) <a href="https://twitter.com/KatiHartwig/status/1423999597031088130?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 7, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">I had to explain this meme to someone and now I feel old. <a href="https://t.co/e2fb6g7aFl">pic.twitter.com/e2fb6g7aFl</a></p>
— Arditi (@Arditi_d_Popolo) <a href="https://twitter.com/Arditi_d_Popolo/status/1424051148957302787?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 7, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">"No worries!!!" - truly, no worries.<br>
"Ok, no worries!!"- I am slightly inconvenienced but nbd.<br>
"No worries" - I want you to know I'm pissed.<br>
"No worries." - Apologize, now.<br>
"Oh, ok, no worries."- we are never speaking again.</p>
— Ginny Hogan_ (@ginnyhogan_) <a href="https://twitter.com/ginnyhogan_/status/1424041808649203717?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 7, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Joe Biden's campaign platform vs. Joe Biden's administration <a href="https://t.co/eiQKiMDQRn">pic.twitter.com/eiQKiMDQRn</a></p>
— Aria Blooms 🏳️‍🌈 (@An_Aria_Blooms) <a href="https://twitter.com/An_Aria_Blooms/status/1424022808544301067?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 7, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">In memory of Trevor Moore here is my favorite skit of his. Rest easy man. <a href="https://t.co/ojoF7mnB3I">pic.twitter.com/ojoF7mnB3I</a></p>
— NEET e-boy🍕🐀 (@DSARACIST) <a href="https://twitter.com/DSARACIST/status/1424149020902109189?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 7, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">i just tried to booty call a man and he said he would but he ate too much spaghetti</p>
— reversecowgirl69 (@onlineirl_angel) <a href="https://twitter.com/onlineirl_angel/status/1424230407185260550?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 8, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">😂😂😂😂<br>
It's official, I've seen it all 😭😭😭😭 <a href="https://t.co/gWdVEW2PCU">pic.twitter.com/gWdVEW2PCU</a></p>
— Pisces ♓️ Army Vet *Degreed * (@ooh_she_Creole) <a href="https://twitter.com/ooh_she_Creole/status/1424180784047562752?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 8, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<strong>August 8</strong>

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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">my dad just joined social media for the first time and he commented this on my coming out post on instagram, i'm dead <a href="https://t.co/irrxvSeRIu">pic.twitter.com/irrxvSeRIu</a></p>
— noelia (@knowngirlboss) <a href="https://twitter.com/knowngirlboss/status/1424562478529323010?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 9, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Silicon Valley getting close to cracking the technologies of Ancient Egypt <a href="https://t.co/7fp7ZOZ1JV">https://t.co/7fp7ZOZ1JV</a></p>
— The Vaporwave Listener (@5five0oh4four) <a href="https://twitter.com/5five0oh4four/status/1424522661523337219?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 9, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Do you think when Taylor Swift wrote "maybe I asked for too much" it was about her trying to get Jake Gyllenhaal to shower</p>
— maybe: clare (@clur19) <a href="https://twitter.com/clur19/status/1424540732241502209?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 9, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">"I trust my immune system" is such a weird reason not to get the vaccine.<br>
<br>
Yeah, I trust mine to protect me too, which is why I gave it a detailed dossier on what the virus looks like so it can handle it.</p>
— Allison Carter (@AllisonLCarter) <a href="https://twitter.com/AllisonLCarter/status/1424416621683150852?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 8, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Schools "can't enforce masks" but sure did enforce not letting us wear shorts or spaghetti straps.</p>
— Akilah Hughes (@AkilahObviously) <a href="https://twitter.com/AkilahObviously/status/1424509834380992513?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 8, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<strong>August 9</strong>

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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Feeling frightened having just made eye contact with The Man Behind The Sock <a href="https://t.co/s3DuTE99qX">pic.twitter.com/s3DuTE99qX</a></p>
— Kathleen (@waynnight) <a href="https://twitter.com/waynnight/status/1424776342902562823?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 9, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">the hbo max app is designed like they're mad at you for using it</p>
— jacky (@JackWilliamRtF) <a href="https://twitter.com/JackWilliamRtF/status/1424819164586430474?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 9, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">is this a threat <a href="https://t.co/AW6HrYFjhj">pic.twitter.com/AW6HrYFjhj</a></p>
— thirty year old woman yells at cloud (@lolennui) <a href="https://twitter.com/lolennui/status/1424774362159194112?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 9, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Who used to play Yentl 64? <a href="https://t.co/Uv28gqYm4y">pic.twitter.com/Uv28gqYm4y</a></p>
— Tranna Wintour (@TrannaWintour) <a href="https://twitter.com/TrannaWintour/status/1424823114060472322?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 9, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Adult life <a href="https://t.co/Rgs4QykPzJ">pic.twitter.com/Rgs4QykPzJ</a></p>
— To Be Frank (@psa10memes) <a href="https://twitter.com/psa10memes/status/1424814393024466948?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 9, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">We didn't write this one: <a href="https://t.co/HcmlGMEIbg">https://t.co/HcmlGMEIbg</a></p>
— Walking Eagle News (@TheEagleist) <a href="https://twitter.com/TheEagleist/status/1424907135952068614?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 10, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<strong>August 10</strong>

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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">I. AM. CRYING 😂😭 <a href="https://t.co/0jAdDbq59q">pic.twitter.com/0jAdDbq59q</a></p>
— ʟᴏɴᴇʟʏ ᴋᴜᴋᴏᴄ̌ (@BarkyBoogz) <a href="https://twitter.com/BarkyBoogz/status/1425206043114606598?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 10, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">someone did it 😭 <a href="https://t.co/Z6MSBLTw4D">pic.twitter.com/Z6MSBLTw4D</a></p>
— Fairy Gothmother, MD (@jenny2x4) <a href="https://twitter.com/jenny2x4/status/1425316224947216388?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 11, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">My students found my TikTok and will not let me live 💀 <a href="https://t.co/kwXPBHgoay">pic.twitter.com/kwXPBHgoay</a></p>
— lyssa (@lysssox) <a href="https://twitter.com/lysssox/status/1425191666244210688?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 10, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Being sober is now required for driving a car — here's how alcoholics feel about that <a href="https://t.co/DnkejDn1FD">https://t.co/DnkejDn1FD</a></p>
— 𝖆𝖖𝖚𝖒𝖆 (@Aquma) <a href="https://twitter.com/Aquma/status/1425111143542976514?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 10, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">i was a vaccine checker tonight at my venue and i swear to god i'm not fucking with you, one couple came up to me and asked "vaccine for what"…… WHAT DO YOU MEAN VACCINE FOR WHAT</p>
— sarah (@sarahrxdriguez) <a href="https://twitter.com/sarahrxdriguez/status/1425267281202909184?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 11, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="und" dir="ltr"><a href="https://t.co/WbtxGPlrL6">pic.twitter.com/WbtxGPlrL6</a></p>
— music struggles (@musicstruggles1) <a href="https://twitter.com/musicstruggles1/status/1425124102981959686?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 10, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">i can see why he had to resign <a href="https://t.co/og1Zs34OVy">https://t.co/og1Zs34OVy</a></p>
— abram AKA "The Funky Khazar" (@fanofthetroops) <a href="https://twitter.com/fanofthetroops/status/1425279024943747074?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 11, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<strong>August 11</strong>

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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Why's it always "nyc smells like pee" and never "my pee smells like the greatest city in the world"</p>
— Asia (@AsiaDNYC) <a href="https://twitter.com/AsiaDNYC/status/1425552495993053190?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 11, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">If anyone outside the US would like to know about US healthcare, I'd like to share my recent Facebook memory: the time exactly 5 years ago my son received a medical bill (he is 4) <a href="https://t.co/NIsPEVCs0y">pic.twitter.com/NIsPEVCs0y</a></p>
— ally millar (@allyzay) <a href="https://twitter.com/allyzay/status/1425618192630702088?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 12, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">been sending this twice a day <a href="https://t.co/lSmaZBpbx0">pic.twitter.com/lSmaZBpbx0</a></p>
— pj evans (@pjayevans) <a href="https://twitter.com/pjayevans/status/1425643015251456005?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 12, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Nah literally everyone would agree this shit hard lmao <a href="https://t.co/GXy0v9Q8pq">https://t.co/GXy0v9Q8pq</a></p>
— 🧘🏾performatively down bad🧘🏾 (@dreadcraft) <a href="https://twitter.com/dreadcraft/status/1425485291431895041?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 11, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">My Fall Plans // The Delta Variant <a href="https://t.co/6oqgxD12wc">pic.twitter.com/6oqgxD12wc</a></p>
— Justin Avery Smith (@JustAVerySmith) <a href="https://twitter.com/JustAVerySmith/status/1425654125954535426?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 12, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<strong>August 12</strong>

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">"Fall plans," that classic thing that we always talked about and always had before.</p>
— Sam Biederman (@Biedersam) <a href="https://twitter.com/Biedersam/status/1425853050372100099?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 12, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">they...they didn't manage to survive <a href="https://t.co/bJU0TLnGIh">pic.twitter.com/bJU0TLnGIh</a></p>
— kim possible facts (@kimpossiblefact) <a href="https://twitter.com/kimpossiblefact/status/1425942179394977796?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 12, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">I have some math questions about this poll… <a href="https://t.co/FEKlKy0zEb">pic.twitter.com/FEKlKy0zEb</a></p>
— Andrew Feinberg (@AndrewFeinberg) <a href="https://twitter.com/AndrewFeinberg/status/1425801537654333441?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 12, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">GTA 3, Britney is free, the Taliban are running Afghanistan again … 2001 is back baby <a href="https://t.co/RGmdijnBFf">https://t.co/RGmdijnBFf</a></p>
— pixelatedboat aka "mr tweets" (@pixelatedboat) <a href="https://twitter.com/pixelatedboat/status/1425996549683699714?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 13, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Schools can't enforce masks? I remember when they enforced a ban on Bart Simpson t-shirts.</p>
— yeah ok (@poutinesmoothie) <a href="https://twitter.com/poutinesmoothie/status/1425841863035084805?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 12, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">U strong as shit <a href="https://t.co/jJaE5FCZsb">https://t.co/jJaE5FCZsb</a></p>
— Penco Hill (@Pencohill) <a href="https://twitter.com/Pencohill/status/1425868284151439364?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 12, 2021</a></blockquote>
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Vish Khanna

This Funny Week in Funny Tweets: August 13, 2021

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