August 5
she took the midnight train going anywhere pic.twitter.com/9oxVuBZLId
— ale (@oafale) August 6, 2017
Can we maybe stop applauding men for doing stuff they're supposed to do like loving their wives' bodies and not jerking off animals? pic.twitter.com/p514qNwNnM
— Twitnter is Coming (@OhNoSheTwitnt) August 6, 2017
August 6
I'm obsessed with this therapy horse that looks like it has the soul of a murdered victorian era child pic.twitter.com/lzcSAqWYkt
— kimmy (@aRealLiveGhost) August 6, 2017
My favourite subset of internet video is dogs that think their owners are drowning and this one is gold pic.twitter.com/Yiv2MMZHFt
— Alan White (@aljwhite) August 6, 2017
Tonight on #GameOfThrones ... pic.twitter.com/iBrv1bFWQ6
— The Ringer (@ringer) August 7, 2017
— Dave Itzkoff (@ditzkoff) August 7, 2017
Someone's playing Seal- "Kiss From a Rose" outside my bedroom window.. under a full moon.. so I'm either bout to get proposed to or murdered
— Jhanellionaire (@JhanelleDennis) August 7, 2017
August 7
Never read the comments. Unless you're posting a comment. Then, read all the comments, because 40 other people already said that, genius.
— Paul F. Tompkins (@PFTompkins) August 7, 2017
Don't fuss when I die. Just put my tuxedoed body in an ornately carved wood box & gather everyone I've ever met to say nice things about me
— shut up, mike (@shutupmikeginn) August 7, 2017
Carl Sagan predicted 2017 on page 40 of The Demon Haunted World. Published in 1996. pic.twitter.com/lhR6HVFKHc
— KStreetHipster (@KStreetHipster) August 7, 2017
August 8
This North Korea thing is really scary, but don't worry -- we have our worst people on it.
— Ken Tremendous (@KenTremendous) August 8, 2017
Millennial: your generation got houses and jobs
— Ken Norton (@kennethn) August 8, 2017
Boomer: yes but we lived with constant fear of nuclear winter
Millennial: hold my avocado
"How did the Nukey War start, Oldfather?"
— Kibblesmith ⚔️ (@kibblesmith) August 8, 2017
"Well ..." [I stoke the fire] "It was Hashtag International Cat Day..."
Trump knows we don't have dragons, right?
— shauna (@goldengateblond) August 8, 2017
Apparently, you can learn a lot about North Korea in two hours. pic.twitter.com/KhPVB5AkJg
— Aaron Sankin (@ASankin) August 9, 2017
incredible drama on the vegan dinner tweet pic.twitter.com/VMxqF83vv6
— emmet (@bronzelemon) August 8, 2017
August 9
Hey @Twitter, I've updated your "report Tweet" box for you. You're welcome. pic.twitter.com/wn4sHapsmJ
— (((Jeff Tiedrich))) (@jefftiedrich) August 9, 2017
If Trump wants to destroy North Korea, he should buy it and turn it into one of his casinos.
— Tea Pain (@TeaPainUSA) August 9, 2017
I love these old Chinese-Russian solidarity posters bc they always look like 2 happy dads just chilling on their gay apple farm pic.twitter.com/6TeEk0AL5k
— 🦇Sega Lugosi🦇 (@dubsteppenwolf) August 9, 2017
THE 60s ARE BACK!
— Jeff Wysaski (@pleatedjeans) August 9, 2017
HIGH-WAISTED SHORTS!
A-LINE DRESSES!
THE EVER-PRESENT FEAR OF NUCLEAR WAR!
SKINNY TIES!
I bet a lot of folks in the Trump administration are sleeping fully clothed in anticipation of early morning FBI raids.
— andy lassner (@andylassner) August 10, 2017
August 10
I replaced the narrator in The Wonder Years with 80's horror synth pic.twitter.com/MJVlFlJXrE
— Jon Friedman (@friedmanjon) August 10, 2017
I hereby call to order this meeting of the John Slattery Appreciation Society pic.twitter.com/b2YGr0pXmQ
— Guy O'Tine (@tservo42) August 10, 2017
This is what always happens.
— Daniel Dale (@ddale8) August 10, 2017
Trump: Grandiose inflammatory statement
Aides: He didn't mean that
Trump: I SUPER meant that
— Monica Lewinsky (@MonicaLewinsky) August 10, 2017
Look at the comments in the red box. The first from Joseph Keith and the reply from Valerie Keith. pic.twitter.com/SocaP0sV6S
— Yashar Ali (@yashar) August 10, 2017
August 11
I did. #workingvacation pic.twitter.com/VKPqIRmZhX
— Major Garrett (@MajorCBS) August 11, 2017
"what happens when the logic of reality television is applied to the practice of nuclear diplomacy" is not a question i need to see answered
— Max Read (@max_read) August 11, 2017
