March 31
Journalism vs every other career pic.twitter.com/7J36WU0gc3
— Bobby Palmer (@thebobpalmer) March 31, 2018
Ted Nugent's fun. You'd think a guy who once became the legal guardian of a 17yo girl just to have sex with her wouldn't want to draw attention to his problematic relationship with kids. pic.twitter.com/GmtPWNHQbh
— shauna (@goldengateblond) April 1, 2018
Good morning everyone, especially @JullyBlack, who gathered up Jeanne Beker's colonizing ass with the force of a Jabari bark on national television.
— Andray (@AndrayDomise) March 31, 2018
Canada READS. pic.twitter.com/R4sILbsO40
Let's all boycott Frank Stallone's new
— Rob Tannenbaum (@tannenbaumr) March 31, 2018
<Googles>
nope, nothing.
April 1
[trying to name the new building but I'm so hungry for pizza] uhhhhh... pic.twitter.com/1AptqUNKW3
— class wario (@chuchugoogoo) April 1, 2018
Yes the shop specializes in coverups that aren't 32 million dollars https://t.co/2hklA6Ix4P
— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) April 2, 2018
April 2
Congrats to my mom on her new gig at the New York Times. pic.twitter.com/TRV2iaBfkE
— Maggie Serota (@maggieserota) April 2, 2018
Say what you want about Sarah Huckabee Sanders, this seems really fun for kids. pic.twitter.com/fdZooFKChJ
— Jesse McLaren (@McJesse) April 3, 2018
Did you know that when a newborn baby cries it's because Amy Adams hasn't been nominated for an Oscar since 2013?
— Louis Virtel (@louisvirtel) April 3, 2018
IMA GO TO HELL FOR LAUGHING pic.twitter.com/D3KoYBeDrT
— J (: (@bbbyjocey) April 2, 2018
April 3
— shrillmonger (@theshrillest) April 3, 2018
The character I now most closely identify with in "The Breakfast Club" is the dad who must leave the comfort of his own home on a Saturday morning to pick up his loser kid at school
— mike sacks (@michaelbsacks) April 3, 2018
April 4
The White House really doesn't have a name pic.twitter.com/lO6zUheBjX
— Vic Berger IV (@VicBergerIV) April 4, 2018
Cat Power is my favorite musical artist named after two kinds of nap.
— Lauren O'Neal (@laureneoneal) April 5, 2018
That's not how surnames work, Steven. pic.twitter.com/HECJlVuZaQ
— Dan Marshall (@danthat) April 4, 2018
If you don't love me. At my
— Octo! (@Octopimp) April 4, 2018
How do I get the. Then you dont
Text to look. Help this doewnt
Right. Send tweet pic.twitter.com/ADG8tH1q1m
April 5
"Tell me about the president's hard cock, you coward" is a take I was honestly unprepared for pic.twitter.com/nhPZAgOrIl
— Chase Mitchell (@ChaseMit) April 5, 2018
OK, so either Donald Trump is:
— Mrs. Betty Bowers (@BettyBowers) April 6, 2018
1) A really stupid person who hires unethical lawyers who act on his behalf without his consent, and then asks them to do more work for him; or
2) A really stupid person who lies about things easily disproved by phone records and paper trails. https://t.co/PpleQT160F
April 6
No insult anyone can hurl at Me can ever compare with the concise perfection of this since-deleted classic: pic.twitter.com/kwIcmRorZe
— God (@TheTweetOfGod) April 6, 2018
Dear @realDonaldTrump: Targeting civilian children and family members would be war crimes.
— Ted Lieu (@tedlieu) April 6, 2018
I can't believe I had to write the above sentence to the President of the United States. https://t.co/nRu1jkWKCD
I knew you wouldn't answer the question. No one likes you. https://t.co/pd8DE5cvIB
— Jimmy Kimmel (@jimmykimmel) April 6, 2018