This Funny Week in Funny Tweets: April 24, 2020

April 18
The next time someone says New Yorkers are mean/rude, remember how millions of us calmly stayed in our tiny apartments for months to stop the spread of the virus while southerners & midwesterners were selfish, cold-hearted little shits who tried to storm their capitol buildings.
β Do U Like What U Seeley (@mdseeley) April 18, 2020
y'all shouldn't have given me that $1200 π pic.twitter.com/nrzX6KoXRE
β lil estaban (@lilestaban) April 19, 2020
ok fuck it i'm going for it
β Tristan Radtke (@coryandtreezy) April 18, 2020
*clears throat*
carole baskin robbins pic.twitter.com/sU8bDoMqGu
Him: You look like a dork.
β MC Hammond (@mchammo) April 18, 2020
Her: I'm about to look like a GENIUS.
Reader: She did. pic.twitter.com/Xl0mzsIzoI
i'm cryingππ pic.twitter.com/OXNXSZBXsd
β abba supremacist | nsfr (@planetpaulson) April 18, 2020
Huge news for fans of George Clooney shitting outside!!! pic.twitter.com/BnQjhgXrpz
β Michael A. Balazo (@mbalazo) April 18, 2020
April 19
what is their soundcloud pic.twitter.com/AlClmznzpH
β lucy (@heylucymay) April 19, 2020
not a joke, my clippers just died pic.twitter.com/9ALnt1HCyQ
β Ben Rosen (@ben_rosen) April 20, 2020
March lasted 3 years while April going by in 4 minutes
β kenechukwu π¦ (@nigerianprynce) April 20, 2020
no rush fellas https://t.co/pbM5x0g5dz
β Alex (@alex49200) April 19, 2020
I asked my boyfriend to edit the introduction of my thesis and he actually had the audacity to edit it and not just tell me it was excellent.
β Olivia Lanes (@Liv_Lanes) April 20, 2020
I've watched this 10 times and it just gets better every time. pic.twitter.com/AwzdPUGBFQ
β luke i am your mother (@MommaUnfiltered) April 19, 2020
April 20
this was an oscar snub pic.twitter.com/9BtOClIGiX
β Devin Field (@thatdevinfield) April 21, 2020
WAIT I MEANT COOKIE WTF https://t.co/FLAFsbO3pV
β πππ£π£ππ !!!!! (@muuurmaid) April 20, 2020
HOLY SHIT, I JUST GOT ON ZOOM AND MY STUDENTS TOLD ME TODAY WAS A HOLIDAY SO I RELEASED THEM IMMDIATELY AND APOLOGIZED FOR NOT KNOWING. YALL THE ONLY HOLIDAY TODAY IS 4/20!!! I JUST RELEASED MY STUDENTS FOR FUCKING 4/20.
β Q (@quaram_tine) April 20, 2020
You in his dms but I'm farting in his bed
β your wife (@yungsaat) April 21, 2020
This new TikTok genre is killing me pic.twitter.com/aWQIny7Mmi
β luke i am your mother (@MommaUnfiltered) April 20, 2020
Stop calling them Protestors. Protestors don't carry AK-47s, wave confederate and Nazi flags, block hospital entrances and scream at medical professionals "To go back to China". They're terrorists.
β Hoodlum (Lockup) πΊπΈ (@HoodlumRIP) April 20, 2020
April 21
The existence of the meatball sub implies that there also exists a meatball dom pic.twitter.com/kCiHCUnstE
β linds (@Lwowwy) April 21, 2020
no idea where this came from but i've had it saved on my phone for like 4 years & thought u should see it pic.twitter.com/tN4OpWXoEj
β word west (@wordwestpress) April 21, 2020
i owe the Jurassic Park franchise an apology, it is in fact very realistic the rich would reopen a park in spite of it consistently resulting in mass death
β Brett (@Relentlessbored) April 22, 2020
Old McDonald's: now a farm https://t.co/2hCIGAaEhE
β Ben Bong (@Mrs_Foo_Cough) April 21, 2020
It's a wee bit ironic, he's in scrubs and she's hanging out the passenger side of her best friend's ride trying to holler pic.twitter.com/T2g2UeafA8
β shawn (@nwahs086) April 21, 2020
My daughter and her neighbor friend spend a lot of the day sitting 6 feet away from the sidewalk, shouting compliments out at strangers who walk by. It's the right mood for these times.
β Bret Turner (@bretjturner) April 21, 2020
Just overheard: "YOUR SHIRT MATCHES YOUR DOG AND I LIKE THAT ABOUT YOU!"
Good morning to this feminist icon only pic.twitter.com/yJlzNPu9ib
β Eric D (@ericd) April 21, 2020
LMAO
β StanceGrounded (@_SJPeace_) April 22, 2020
I love the internet ππ€£ pic.twitter.com/yiOh4kuqzz
April 22
Imagine getting this reminder daily https://t.co/cYsde4L82G
β Natalie Rotter-Laitman (@natrotlait) April 22, 2020
Another day another stupid Excel chart pic.twitter.com/NaNLHTZGSW
β Planet Dave (@_daviant) April 22, 2020
How I used to begin work emails: Hi!
β Hannah Long (@HannahGraceLong) April 22, 2020
How I begin work emails now: pic.twitter.com/XaDAyNWHQ1
The single funniest thing to happen on TV pic.twitter.com/uG1uAOhAp7
β Joe McAdam (@joemcadam) April 23, 2020
PRIEST: it do be like that sometimes
β bog dad (@nedwards) April 22, 2020
CONGREGATION: like that sometimes it be
Airlines sending me "we're in this together" emails. When my suitcase was 52 pounds I was on my own.
β Mikeyunbelievable (@MikeDentale) April 22, 2020
April 23
How to medical pic.twitter.com/0EDqJcy38p
β Sarah Cooper (@sarahcpr) April 24, 2020
fly me to the moon
β fuck the moon (@fthemoonreturns) April 23, 2020
let me kick its fucking ass
let me show it what i learned
in my moon jujitsu class
It took one month to the day. https://t.co/nsoSAxM3c7
β Wesley Clark (@WesClarkjr) April 23, 2020
still thinking about how an anti-lockdown protester kidnapped two journalists at knifepoint, forced them to delete footage, was *still holding the videographer hostage when police arrived* and it wasnt a national story
β Talia Lavin (@chick_in_kiev) April 24, 2020
"nerdcore hiphop" only exists because white people don't actually listen to hiphop because if they did they'd see that tons of these rappers are nerdy as fuck. Del learned Japanese just to play video games. Wu-Tang's entire thing is nerdy as fuck.
β alinaπγγγͺ (@alinakanin) April 23, 2020
April 24
This photo is incredible. You can see the idea percolating in his mind. "Why has no one thought of this. The answer is right in front of us. I will say it. I'll be the hero we need." pic.twitter.com/4abr6rep5L
β Dan Wilbur (@DanWilbur) April 24, 2020
not sure why drinking the bleach is getting so much attention when putting the sunshine inside of the body is exponentially funnier
β Rich Lather (@allahliker) April 24, 2020
Watch a scientist react to Trump's remarks about using light to fight coronavirus. pic.twitter.com/9cmv0oCGir
β Brianna Wu (@BriannaWu) April 23, 2020
"It's reasonable that when we cover our faces with our hands, he thinks we disappeared. If you can't see someone's face, that person may have left the room. When we reveal our faces again, he responds with delight because he now understands we have been here the whole time." https://t.co/VvPDG6d82a
β Mike Drucker (@MikeDrucker) April 24, 2020
β On Cinema Family πΏ (@OnCinemaHead) April 24, 2020
fuck it... dog vibin' to kylie minogue pic.twitter.com/ClMDR6rR9d
β ig: @jackxinsta (@fkajack) April 24, 2020