Just sit on me bro, Donald Trump's legal blow, Lego, Aaron Rodgers and Gwyneth Paltrow, and much more from this week in funny tweets.

May 24

pic.twitter.com/EjMgtznQDJ https://t.co/yb7qOYF2BB
— Thomas Carrieri (@Thomas_Carrieri) May 25, 2024

a white noise machine? you mean your boyfriend lol.
— rob (@ok_but_still) May 25, 2024

pic.twitter.com/nhbcIlurL7 https://t.co/oU5aY2eU5c
— Mike Beauvais (@MikeBeauvais) May 24, 2024

Millennials are "quiet breathing" on company time, often inhaling AND exhaling at the office
— Borscht the T is silent (@InternetHippo) May 24, 2024

https://t.co/QvDDoeAS2U pic.twitter.com/mAZE9QTUQ4
— seika 🐰 BSF 2024 (@kyrievanitas) May 25, 2024

Slightly unfair but still the best TV Guide Movie Review of all time. pic.twitter.com/AhaFtxyYLz
— John O'Connell (@jdpoc) May 24, 2024

don't raise theater kids, raise crew kids who can hang with the theater kids but don't need the attention
— Sam Adams (@SamuelAAdams) May 24, 2024

this is what it's all about pic.twitter.com/ch18CHfW72
— Dean (@danceyrselfdean) May 24, 2024

It's crazy we've turned Everest into a DMV line at altitude for really rich people pic.twitter.com/xhIzTwF4qe
— åπd®ew 🐢🐢🐢 (@Andrew__Boley) May 24, 2024

This video turned me into an R. Effkay, Jr supporter! https://t.co/6lVPOxyoxu
— Vic Berger IV 📉 (@VicBergerIV) May 25, 2024

wow pic.twitter.com/fTgiU2S4cx
— marshlands (@marshlands) May 24, 2024

A diagrammatic explanation on how the two party political system works: pic.twitter.com/XA5iFoMLJS
— yeah ok (@poutinesmoothie) May 24, 2024

I've seen miles of train graffiti but I've never seen anything like this.. pic.twitter.com/x2YK8daKox
— Ab Gamble (@AbGamble1) May 25, 2024

Happy yacht sinking season to orcas and to all who celebrate. 🙏🏾 pic.twitter.com/Z95l960nuS
— Axel Folio, PhD, 🍉 Principal Agitating Dragon 🪁 (@ISASaxonists) May 24, 2024

I'm so happy for him this was caught on camera loooooool https://t.co/Ym3hho96fu
— Dan Boogs (@dankoogs) May 24, 2024

I went to the Apple Store to buy new headphones n realized I forgot my credit card in my other purse and I asked the clerk if they took Apple Pay n he looked at me and said what do u think
— ;p (@beefymosquito) May 24, 2024

Millie Bobby Brown married Bon Jovi's son and is now Millie Bobby Brown Bon Jovi which is the sickest 80s name I've ever heard.
— Jenny Johnson (@JennyJohnsonHi5) May 24, 2024

Imagine being against gay marriage when it's actually just this pic.twitter.com/4ODHfa3rLW
— frankie gabagool 🤌 (@beantownthot) May 25, 2024

i quote this probably a dozen times per week https://t.co/zFSc0ik6ro pic.twitter.com/vpSXN8s3Lw
— alice! 🔆🌾🇵🇸 (@tinysquash) May 25, 2024

the only right answerpic.twitter.com/PiEeotTTsu https://t.co/xYToy8xdva
— annie (@zeglian) May 24, 2024

pic.twitter.com/XOSmp3vNfV https://t.co/1JSGGcUSZE
— Owain (@orhunt) May 24, 2024

Big Tech is almost over we're almost free https://t.co/az7VaPbxJ5
— Edgewater Expat 🇮🇹 (@Eric_Erins) May 24, 2024

May 25

I take it back this Google AI is awesome pic.twitter.com/QrwqCHxo1L
— Kris (@KrisSkulls) May 25, 2024

yeah sure why not. whatever https://t.co/5sv9FyyGap
— david c. porter (a hollow shape) (@toomuchistrue) May 26, 2024

The microplastics in my balls https://t.co/bw4miqtPad
— silent bill 4: the room 🐀 (@billykeable) May 25, 2024

when i say "if i recall" or "if i remember correctly" i am being polite about being right. i remember and i am correct.
— Lena (@banalplay) May 26, 2024

Damn his people? https://t.co/QbY4A1BLJZ
— Angela Rockford (@angie_goodwood) May 25, 2024

There should be a Mad Max movie that reveals the world outside Australia has actually remained pretty normal
— Brooks Otterlake (@i_zzzzzz) May 26, 2024

This how Kevin McCallister was controlling them cardboard cutouts in Home Alone https://t.co/4iJBG0f1Pz
— ᴍʏ sᴘᴀᴄᴇsʜɪᴘ? ᴛʜɪs ɪs ᴀ ᴅᴏᴅɢᴇ (@BarkyBoogz) May 26, 2024

gotta be up there https://t.co/eLN6BO79tr pic.twitter.com/J6AAlsa3z5
— 🌻 toffee oliver (@theotheroliver) May 26, 2024

pic.twitter.com/erVdrPgycs
— Rothmus 🏴 (@Rothmus) May 25, 2024

See how he backed down when a man stepped in? Fighting grown men was never part of his training. https://t.co/39jQsjXRLN
— inqilāb (@tastefullysaucy) May 25, 2024

boyfriend just referred to gwyneth paltrow as the aaron rodgers of women. his mind
— Maria (@mlstrat) May 25, 2024

https://t.co/YJ5EiVq3kD pic.twitter.com/OpAikshBJH
— the council of evil lesbians (@obiwormkenobi) May 26, 2024

pic.twitter.com/m7J83f1QjM
— Jimmy Ruffian (@TheRoughGo) May 25, 2024

Sterling is sick of her shit 😂 pic.twitter.com/wc9Dg7W4aD
— Nick Fury (@WritingTheWrong) May 26, 2024

Just wait. He's possibly in the last week of his life where he won't have the the official title of "Convicted Felon." 🤞 https://t.co/fLXJtYlSVF
— Tim Hogan 浩勤 (@TimInHonolulu) May 26, 2024

No on? Step snek! pic.twitter.com/JFWoiQCZj1
— ultramarathon running thanker 🍉 (@christweetsllc) May 25, 2024

Who says shame is dead? This is a Tesla. pic.twitter.com/FOu0CqZczs
— Christopher Moore (@TheAuthorGuy) May 25, 2024

May 26

This is Lin-Manuel Miranda's fault pic.twitter.com/5uXCFo0mXG
— gianmarco (@GianmarcoSoresi) May 26, 2024

Ejected from bottomless brunch for a simple dress code mixup
— Patrick Monahan (@pattymo) May 27, 2024

the inventor of envelopes was such a freak. what do you mean i have to lick it
— slate (@PleaseBeGneiss) May 27, 2024

in the cellar. straight up "decanting it". and by "it", haha, well. let's justr say. My pinot
— rachel calytrix (@rccalytrix) May 26, 2024

we simply must stan pic.twitter.com/3fgGh7Nl3y
— internet baby (@kirkpate) May 26, 2024

We just need to invent a straw that lasts a little bit longer than 4 seconds but still less than a million years
— Matty (@bestestname) May 26, 2024

Luka did the same thing Ant did to Bo Cruz 😭💀 pic.twitter.com/4in1GhzY3I
— Basketball Forever (@bballforever_) May 27, 2024

pic.twitter.com/rigPbxf6Vf
— hunter (@hunter_hhhh) May 27, 2024

Whenever a recipe is like, "Strain through a cheese cloth," it's like, oh okay yeah I'll just strain it through a cheesecloth. Get the fuck out of here.
— Noah Garfinkel (@NoahGarfinkel) May 26, 2024

Multiversus character reveal trailers be like: pic.twitter.com/9i5NJY8GtV
— Barbie for Multiversus (@Barbie4MVS) May 26, 2024

This is one of my favorite graphs pic.twitter.com/LxY5uWlZwM
— Andrew Hilary 🇵🇸 (@AndrewHilaryUS) May 26, 2024

This is one of the all time greats https://t.co/905pYajP3q pic.twitter.com/91SXVxMUIc
— Dr. Nifkin 🇵🇸🍉 (@drnifkin) May 26, 2024

pic.twitter.com/179evcS5yG https://t.co/97hn9WQrAB
— Phil from the '90s👨🏽 (@philfromthe90s) May 26, 2024

I think there's an argument for this being the greatest tweet of all time pic.twitter.com/OqP8ZL2tgz
— she her 🇵🇸 (@roramdin) May 26, 2024

https://t.co/ijoZsce2Lg pic.twitter.com/UxJkJu0ilP
— Wyeth Leslie (@Wyeth_was_here) May 26, 2024

this one makes me cry https://t.co/QswaQg5uZy pic.twitter.com/5QUuGDTWLR
— hikikomoriana grande (@mothmaam420) May 27, 2024

https://t.co/vGAPUvRjXG pic.twitter.com/fDKfgDtoZC
— hooked on chronics (@Blaze_Weedman) May 26, 2024

Forever https://t.co/hS38a2WZxJ pic.twitter.com/oYKnob1rES
— Busty Shackleford (@gin__erso) May 26, 2024

When I sneeze, I often think of this https://t.co/LfDqUuIRnf pic.twitter.com/BFmhCn7QDP
— Fiona Small (@FionaSmall) May 26, 2024

https://t.co/ytu9kCGKRg pic.twitter.com/XTMNbr3mkg
— McErin☘️ (@colleen_eileen) May 26, 2024

crucial https://t.co/Fq2oUx5l3G pic.twitter.com/JchogMMGRr
— 🔥⛓️ ERIK: REBORN ⛓️🔥 (@bikenesmith) May 26, 2024

I literally say "but they very much did kill Jesus" like 15x a week https://t.co/1Fih6hQfka pic.twitter.com/WDX4BHK4rY
— ashole (@ImmaterialGhost) May 27, 2024

Every time I see a bee, I murmur, "You know I got an assortment" https://t.co/mW3sVnITd3 pic.twitter.com/20Q6ryoxVB
— (((Simcha Fisher))) (@SimchaFisher) May 26, 2024

i think about this every day https://t.co/bnWb15sahA pic.twitter.com/jAAtPwFpu7
— darth penis (@bobsredmilf) May 26, 2024

i will be taking no comments https://t.co/xtW4h3sBy7 pic.twitter.com/vt28nwLobA
— peppermint patty (@Ptroyodactyl) May 26, 2024

May 27

happy memorial day pic.twitter.com/Gr2383f08d
— L.A.S. (@SartoriallyInc) May 27, 2024

RIP to the legend, Bill Walton https://t.co/WUcYyON4c5 pic.twitter.com/8MCbG2SJpi
— John Frankensteiner (@JFrankensteiner) May 27, 2024

I love this Bill Walton story about the Celtics seeing the Dead for the first time: pic.twitter.com/wBX684C1hV
— Josh Carpenter (@JoshACarpenter) May 27, 2024

RIP to Bill Walton, who celebrated the 1986 championship by staying up all night alone in Larry Bird's kitchen getting hammered. pic.twitter.com/Xevpxbf4jG
— Seth (@slandman33) May 27, 2024

Dallas airport has a Kyrie poster next to a picture of a globe, amazing work by someone in the art department pic.twitter.com/6Pfx14DxkL
— Theo Mackie (@theo_mackie) May 27, 2024

Oh, we're playing "favorite tweets of all time"? . . . pic.twitter.com/OYaMNnomnN
— Paul Schofield (@pschofie79) May 27, 2024

"oh this not a safe space suddenly" is seared into my brain https://t.co/N57v1JanGI pic.twitter.com/gHOFDvtPdM
— yassified aloy (@singeddryad) May 27, 2024

cant believe i havent seen this one posted yet https://t.co/Zjd3zrEvJh pic.twitter.com/V70KIJ5BlT
— zach silberberg (@zachsilberberg) May 27, 2024

https://t.co/F6N9fRNU1L pic.twitter.com/QWX8KakOzs
— ceeks (@70Ceeks) May 27, 2024

https://t.co/YpTMx0phEo pic.twitter.com/TJAyJjfmME
— alex (@vodkalemonades) May 27, 2024

https://t.co/cs6elplpAU pic.twitter.com/bAaCUbqoQi
— Evelyn Waughluigi (@matress_island) May 27, 2024

https://t.co/LcPSzGbPxf pic.twitter.com/EtW95InXuC
— Don Hughes (@getfiscal) May 28, 2024

This one is load-bearing to me https://t.co/bcGkRRWqj5 pic.twitter.com/lS8W5LU9PL
— Cape Ann, bottom shelf (@_JiggityJohnson) May 27, 2024

https://t.co/YRlkVNVH9r pic.twitter.com/0ENLiW7iAC
— arbusto (@SenorBush) May 28, 2024

This is the single worst animal fight I've ever seen bro lmaooooooooooooo pic.twitter.com/gdOByOR7JD
— Drake Maye is QB 1 🥰 (@June__NYC) May 27, 2024

shockingly underrated interaction https://t.co/kYeCBjdtnT pic.twitter.com/ZkB423PC9y
— the brave little poaster (@virgil_30) May 27, 2024

pic.twitter.com/dCVSvUMx4q https://t.co/Dh8jTFW3E2
— William Gerrard (@Bill_Gerrard) May 27, 2024

pic.twitter.com/FXsuhk7lUd
— beer person (@CantEverDie) May 28, 2024

https://t.co/sFb4lqctUa pic.twitter.com/UBmHfWqRd3
— Dave Turner (@mrdaveturner) May 27, 2024

https://t.co/m85ZuzDwAx pic.twitter.com/H5tvJE4VFa
— happi (@happi_pigeon) May 27, 2024

he's insane do you guys hear me insane holding on to that high of a note with no change no prior warm up he's INSANE pic.twitter.com/10Ic6tsLpL
— nat (@sunnyontv) May 27, 2024

https://t.co/ohYmjYPss7 pic.twitter.com/g3zKSSi7Eq
— Dennis B. Hooper (@dennisbhooper) May 28, 2024

credit to romania for being the only country with government programs to support a fatter-assed citizenry https://t.co/PHm7h9qs1u
— SLUG (@generalslug) May 28, 2024

they're kissing in there i just know it https://t.co/hFxsHHGoVe
— c ✨ (@marxiners) May 28, 2024

i don't care what they say. i'm still calling this movie twitter pic.twitter.com/g6cEgRFa7p
— cass city (@HeavenlyGrandpa) May 27, 2024

Imagine if it's Dune 2 https://t.co/L7Lwg7pNTQ
— Tom Reagan's Hat (@RufusTSuperfly) May 27, 2024

https://t.co/jyHSDXzh5m pic.twitter.com/pQOHdaHLjX
— nat (@sunnyontv) May 27, 2024

May 28

https://t.co/8wuxLCmZWS pic.twitter.com/u7jI2iUApW
— Rude Boy (@rudepolaroids) May 29, 2024

Oh my God. pic.twitter.com/utyAmjZJyG
— Brian Tyler Cohen (@briantylercohen) May 29, 2024

Mavs intentionally extending the series so Luka can't have 9 days off and gain 15 pounds, chess not checkers
— praetorian jack (furiosa boyfriend) (@SnackPr0tein) May 29, 2024

LMFAOOOOO https://t.co/kIylCrRIFT pic.twitter.com/wYxB04fmQx
— . (@GIOOCVMPO) May 29, 2024

Draymond Green has made the best pregame show in sports borderline unwatchable within a week.
— Tony Liebert (@TonyLiebert) May 28, 2024

straight up björking it https://t.co/xQBPYbAJuR
— ersatz haderach (@pawgtism) May 28, 2024

i'm so sorry I don't wanna live in a country where kids aren't allowed to bedazzle their bald principal's head at the end of the school year https://t.co/Cg8dGFgkUc
— Vinny Thomas (@vinn_ayy) May 28, 2024

Really good Facebook group pic.twitter.com/xqsPYMdbka
— andrew (@mrnastynodrama) May 28, 2024

I feel like there's a collective "I don't want to do this anymore" happening on so many levels.
— destiney bleu (@destineybleu) May 28, 2024

how your email finds me https://t.co/KqvsQcxVbv
— long live the new jess (@divalectics_2) May 28, 2024

I will never forgive Adobe for trying to make you spend $30 a month to try to edit a fucking PDF.
— Josie (@javavvitch) May 29, 2024

Attention @Boeing I have just discovered that Benjamin Netanyahu has been telling people that your planes suck
— Jake Flores 🇵🇸 (@feraljokes) May 28, 2024

He's not Elmer Fudd. Yes, he said "we're White." https://t.co/wE3q075uir
— Heather Thomas (@HeatherThomasAF) May 28, 2024

No animal in history has deserved to be eaten more than this dumbass fish https://t.co/vpRe6me1cC
— rudy betrayed (@rudy_betrayed) May 29, 2024

Ty Cobb in Hell: https://t.co/V4dQA541FQ pic.twitter.com/wwA6KA25qS
— Queens Child Project & Tubi Films Project Manager (@SoloChills) May 28, 2024

The fact that "cooking" is complimentary but being "cooked" is pejorative shows that we as a society venerate the act of creation while simultaneously despising the product of creation. In this essay I will
— Lincoln Michel (@TheLincoln) May 29, 2024

May 29

Boy yeah as a millennial I can't imagine what it must have been like to see something explode on national tv like this pic.twitter.com/T6YFnY1LXs
— David C Bell (@MovieHooligan) May 29, 2024

Always gonna' be this https://t.co/eDyURTjDIe pic.twitter.com/mbrb6LVH85
— Tritone Jones 🐛 (@ARockToKick) May 30, 2024

The correct answer is this https://t.co/21PvlIr4wv pic.twitter.com/W11XjC7mNN
— Keelan (@I_am_da_BOM) May 29, 2024

i think crocs and doc marten should collab and put out a limited edition croc marten but what do i know about capitalism.
— .:RiotGrlErin:. (@RiotGrlErin) May 29, 2024

Y'all ever looked up Precious Achiuwa's siblings? 🥹 pic.twitter.com/AZavulnBt9
— Ruby's Delusional Knicks Takes (@TakesByRuby) May 29, 2024

Big day for people with unnecessary extra letters in their surnames https://t.co/wvL2gHhuDw
— Maddy Mussen (@maddy_mussen) May 29, 2024

"Crack and Field" https://t.co/ZhOaYr0EGs
— TDot Resident (@TDotResident) May 29, 2024

English teachers reading the title: https://t.co/KKGXl9GzC1 pic.twitter.com/TVMAahyJhy
— Sam Sykes (@SamSykesSwears) May 29, 2024

https://t.co/u1qytXslH2 pic.twitter.com/ALDuD6LXAK
— Rob Incognito (@MrPostsGood) May 29, 2024

For example, you could just marry a billionaire's daughter. https://t.co/7P3jTD52Rb
— Parody Rishi Sunak (@Parody_PM) May 29, 2024

every "unschooling" post i've seen on this website has been this scene from always sunny https://t.co/nQl067leIk pic.twitter.com/4r5e1xGCgM
— adam duke (@duke_university) May 29, 2024

This is fucking hilarious https://t.co/705mCWB7yM pic.twitter.com/eNIF19905l
— Joe Kassabian (@JoeKassabian) May 29, 2024

IM LITERALLY SCREAMING 💀pic.twitter.com/mhcGQoeIM6
— chris evans (@notcapnamerica) May 29, 2024

"Come on bro, sit on me. Just sit on me bro, it'll be normal. I'm just a normal chair bro, please... I need to... feel you" - this chair pic.twitter.com/hqICDn1Qnc
— Theonewhocums (@Theonewhocums_) May 29, 2024

What on earth is this photo choice https://t.co/0vEVYzwk31
— The okayest poster there is (@ok_post_guy) May 29, 2024

I thought the tv show The Bear took place in the kitchen of an upscale restaurant but apparently it takes place at the some random sandwich shop in Chicago. Why is that guy always getting so mad then it's not that serious
— normal clementine (@clementineultra) May 29, 2024

May 30

TIL Frederick the bellboy in TENENBAUMS is Richie from The Bear. pic.twitter.com/XNUxLmwNBs
— matt lynch (@colonelmortimer) May 30, 2024

GUYS i need u to watch this video of some tiktokker interviewing Baz Luhrmann on the streets of newtown and not knowing who he is 😩😩😩 pic.twitter.com/sa6LjkyuGF
— Jo Bradley (@JoLucyBradley) May 30, 2024

Think it's easy to say Jerry Seinfeld was never funny and didn't contribute anything to his show but he was funny and also good on Seinfeld, he just got way less funny and more annoying since then. That happens
— Mr. Chau (@Srirachachau) May 30, 2024

I'll always love this joke. https://t.co/ufObGtzaz4
— Brian Stack (@BrianStack153) May 30, 2024

Your periodic reminder that "red tape" is shorthand for "regulation", and it can often be necessary and even lifesaving. pic.twitter.com/YER86HY5ad
— Max Fawcett 🇨🇦 (@maxfawcett) May 30, 2024

[deep breath] ahhhhhhhahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha pic.twitter.com/JH0fDTCk8E
— adrian (@crawf34) May 30, 2024

I hope this sparks a bold new trend of other FX shows being aired on FX https://t.co/ccqoWOMAOz
— Chase Mitchell (@ChaseMit) May 30, 2024

Imagine being a candidate for President and having it confirmed that you said the N word being the secord worst thing that happened to you in a day.
— The Very Calm and Polite Biden Guy (@What46HasDone) May 30, 2024

oh my god it was literally 34 crimes https://t.co/DCasFnBqps
— soul nate (@MNateShyamalan) May 30, 2024

he's guilty af pic.twitter.com/7RZvdGfWz7
— Imani Gandy (Orca's Version) ⚓️ (@AngryBlackLady) May 30, 2024

Guilty of 34 felonies. Found liable for sexual assault. Banned from doing business in New York. Tried to overturn an election to illegally seize power. Incited a violent attack on the US Capitol. And still supported completely—without reservation—by the Republican Party.
— Brian Klaas (@brianklaas) May 30, 2024

While it might be easy to mock Maga assholes for their anger in this moment, take some time to remember that that anger is actually coming from a place of profound weakness, and we should be sure to mock them for that too.
— A.R. Moxon (juliusgoat.bsky.social) (@JuliusGoat) May 30, 2024

Even the Juror who loves Truth Social was like yeah gulity as shit
— Eddie Vale (@evale72) May 30, 2024

A corpse vs a felon vs a guy with brain worms. Greatest system on earth
— Mark Ames (@MarkAmesExiled) May 30, 2024

Devastating verdict for Joe Biden (will now lose to a convicted felon).
— Noah Garfinkel (@NoahGarfinkel) May 30, 2024

CNN moderator: "What would you-"

Biden: Foaming at the mouth after a bad reaction to his vyvanse cocktail

Trump: Zoom call from prison lagging

RFK JR: "I actually know a lot of pedophiles. I mean not closely. Just by name. Well I have their cell phone numbers too!"
— Isaac (@GalaxyPeaBrain) May 30, 2024

CNN: Trump guilty
NBC: Trump guilty
ABC: Trump guilty
FOX: pic.twitter.com/m0zamrEJ9k
— Zack Bornstein (@ZackBornstein) May 30, 2024

Damn. I just looked it up in my America book. If you get convicted of 35 things, you can't be President. 35, turns out. So close!
— James (@JamesOstime) May 30, 2024

but literally is anything gonna happen
— caitie delaney (@caitiedelaney) May 30, 2024

So he can no longer vote for president but can still be one. Cool country
— Chase Mitchell (@ChaseMit) May 30, 2024

Just to recap:

Donald Trump is a felon

He joins his campaign manager, deputy campaign manager, national security advisor, foreign policy advisor, political consultant, and personal lawyer as felons.
— Stuart Stevens (@stuartpstevens) May 30, 2024

babe wake up, new unprecedented times
— Matt Margolis (@ItsMattsLaw) May 30, 2024

this is why you don't leave the cursed website,this is the moment for the ones with real fortitude
— folu (@notfolu) May 30, 2024

Look at all of you quitters crawling back to Twitter to celebrate. Some of us have been here the entire time rotting away in Elon's hellscape and you think you can just log on for a quick sec whenever New York does something cool like an earthquake or 34 guilty Trump verdits?
— Sophie Vershbow (@svershbow) May 30, 2024

Very unfair to try Donald Trump in the city where he lived most of his life, where his name is on several buildings, where he made his fortune, where his TV show was set and where the charged crimes were committed
— farhad manjoo (former bluecheck) (@fmanjoo) May 30, 2024

It's a good thing he didn't spend months attacking the judge and his family.

That would make the next part really awkward.
— John Collins (@Logically_JC) May 30, 2024

what's the funniest possible outcome of this? imo cyanide capsule
— soul nate (@MNateShyamalan) May 30, 2024

Trump has only ever been fun two times. Today and that day when we thought he might die of COVID.
— Evan DeSimone (@Smorgasboredom) May 30, 2024

Just getting the place ready for the jury's verdict being delivered 😜 pic.twitter.com/HmC0KhM6Yx
— Four Seasons Total Landscaping (@TotalSeasons) May 30, 2024

It's weird how 1 felony can prevent you from getting a federal job, but 34 can't stop you from running for President! #TeamDl
— DL Hughley (@RealDLHughley) May 30, 2024

objectively the funniest possible outcome here is that he insists on voting anyways and ends up getting convicted of voter fraud
— lieutenant winslow (@lt_winslow) May 30, 2024

Abraham Lincoln and now Stormy Daniels. 2 porn stars who, when history called, stepped up to save America.
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) May 30, 2024

Today was the day Donald trump finally became president
— Megan Amram (@meganamram) May 30, 2024

Convicted felon Donald Trump#Verdict #TrumpTrial pic.twitter.com/nt1iZQ3ATA
— Shane (@shanecenters) May 30, 2024

I sincerely hope Trump does actual jail time not because I give a shit but only so that his best and brightest supporters try and do a jailbreak you know that shit would be hilarious
— Kristi Yamaguccimane (@TheWapplehouse) May 30, 2024

https://t.co/2tlw9oeXXn pic.twitter.com/w3c16fkdRw
— Carman (@CarmanTse) May 31, 2024

Breaking - after Trump's GUILTY verdict, Samuel Alito's wife turned their whole house upside down pic.twitter.com/QVPjUIy7ew
— TheRealThelmaJohnson (@TheRealThelmaJ1) May 30, 2024

Both hosts of The Apprentice are now convicted felons. pic.twitter.com/1w001gGJcv
— Jack (@GayLaVie) May 30, 2024

sorry I can't hang out - I have to keep refreshing twitter so I don't miss any good jokes
— clair with the "esq" (@nastywomanatlaw) May 30, 2024

This Funny Week in Funny Tweets: May 31, 2024

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