Abe, Chubbs, gator, circle back later, the debate moderator, Pat Sajak in community theatre, and much more from this week in funny tweets.

May 31

HAPPY PRIDE MONTH 🏳️‍🌈👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 pic.twitter.com/IQ2wExJmL4
— ً (@filmsbygays) June 1, 2024

still makes me laugh pic.twitter.com/OhYAhG5Atr
— Garrick Dion (@GareRick) June 1, 2024

algebra, coffee, astrolabe, Damascus steel, gristmills and sugarmills, tin-glazing, chemical synthesis, chess theory, cryptanalysis, hard soap, kerosene lamps, sodas (and flavored syrups for same), syringes, literally the number system you use, https://t.co/0IxMCVYZsE
— holden m. accountable (@noahpasaran) May 31, 2024

I see myself in this video and I don't like it. 😭 pic.twitter.com/5GXcAfrbK6
— Sassington, M.C. (@MissSassbox) May 31, 2024

Everybody tired of working. https://t.co/wVX4s9GEqA
— Pirate Queen (@LadyBugAssassin) May 31, 2024

this is what André 3000 be talking about at a certain age what do you even have to rap about. https://t.co/8WxVIoYNyL
— Guts (@eric_djet) May 31, 2024

me when i post on Insta and have to take it down because it only got 10 likes https://t.co/ojWS8EwIzx
— Cisco (@ughitscisco) May 31, 2024

girl the virus https://t.co/BpB52vzdr3
— snuffles ☆ ⸆⸉ (@niffscardigan) May 31, 2024

Corporations on June 1st pic.twitter.com/hJhqVEKkPA
— Robert Komaniecki (@Komaniecki_R) June 1, 2024

June 1

Happy pride pic.twitter.com/JqBaCunNSy
— Chezi (@Chezi34) June 1, 2024

This might be horrifically controversial. But idk why they're actually allowed to this it makes the straight community look like a hypersexualised group of freaks https://t.co/RJ4bUT4xyQ pic.twitter.com/e5vir7M8Fs
— Laura Jedeed (@LauraJedeed) June 1, 2024

at minimum 15 9/11s every month if they existed https://t.co/zDMFU8tXMF
— jimi (@ShinMegamiJimi) June 1, 2024

Proposal: we make all men's shirts like this until they give us pockets. pic.twitter.com/7HPYzEDKbC
— The Road Jess Travelled (@JessPected) June 2, 2024

Hackers be doing everything but hacking that fucking Equifax building and clearing everybody credit. https://t.co/eEBpemQ8jM
— The Nostalgia Queen 🔜 DreamCon 24 🎬 (@Snow_Blacck) June 2, 2024

if you think she overcharged u deserve to be politically exiled https://t.co/mlSxiiIz9E
— Ali (@AliEzzoBezzo) June 1, 2024

Place your bets on what the update from the Twitter team says this time pic.twitter.com/WZgiVrZQNL
— Pine Cellar (@PineCellar) June 1, 2024

when people give me directions and they're like "you can't miss it" i'm like, oh you do not know what i'm capable of
— erica (@ericanextdooor) June 1, 2024

I'm begging y'all to stop complaining about the physicality of the WNBA, if you wanna watch a soft league watch the NBA
— Hana 🏀 (@HanaHoops) June 1, 2024

They were so good pic.twitter.com/mSnZSkt4F8
— Dr. Aaron, PhD (@aaronposting) June 2, 2024

Shoutout to Google Docs for casually being homophobic pic.twitter.com/ueGM4vhyKn
— Clover! ☘️🏳️‍⚧️💞 (@MissTrifolium) June 1, 2024

June 2

Ngl lost it at this.

(Sound needed) pic.twitter.com/ZTM1MQIbBM
— Jimmy (@JamesCoyne) June 3, 2024

Happy Pride 🥰🥰🥰 pic.twitter.com/nm0RRT3eHj
— Lauren McKenzie (@TheMcKenziest) June 2, 2024

pic.twitter.com/ZDbeFprfXS
— inhumans of capitalism (Ojibwa )🔻 (@Inhumansoflate1) June 2, 2024

pic.twitter.com/rP17L723Hj
— Barbara Hershey🌺 (@BarbaraHershey8) June 2, 2024

pic.twitter.com/QdkFq1nYG6
— Lawrence Paulson (@LawrPaulson) June 2, 2024

LET THE APOLOGIES BE AS LOUD AS THE DISRESPECT https://t.co/Oi28gJd05N
— Qui-Gon Jim (@jimbojd4) June 3, 2024

Wrong Cardinals. This is the baseball one, not the Catholic one. https://t.co/g5410Rz5cD
— Matt Bird ⚜️ (@LouliganBird) June 2, 2024

Before marrying there should be a compatibility test with questions such as: "Do you believe that little pocket in the car door is for garbage yes or no?"
— I Hide From My Kids (@IHideFromMyKids) June 2, 2024

goodbye 1.5C
we hardly knew you https://t.co/rYKMmbr5vF
— Prof. Steve Austin (@postcarbonsteve) June 2, 2024

I was accused of playing "killing yourself music" at the party yesterday
— Mr Before Turning The Guņ On Himself 🇵🇸 (@gay_horse420) June 2, 2024

A few squiggly lines telling us unequivocally that our civilization is finished. pic.twitter.com/9RDrd2XgYM
— Climate Dad (@ClimateDad77) June 2, 2024

pic.twitter.com/fJXhekhCe4
— ‎ً (@traderjoeslut) June 2, 2024

I AM SCREAMING 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 pic.twitter.com/RIcPrmka8J
— Dino Cartagena the OG Passport Bro ❄️ (@DuctTapeShawty) June 2, 2024

saw guided by voices last night and only knew about 17 of the songs they played
— josh terry (@JoshhTerry) June 2, 2024

🤣😂🤣 pic.twitter.com/JeTPB702NG
— Cody 🟧🌈💙😊🌊 (@CodyResistsHate) June 2, 2024

I wish I could like this post a hundred times. pic.twitter.com/XUNA7UA8fT
— Sarah Larchmont (@SarahLarchmont) June 2, 2024

Tired of watching photos and videos from Gaza?

Well I am tired of taking these photos and videos.
— Hind Khoudary (@Hind_Gaza) June 2, 2024

some of your moms WHAT https://t.co/MoPOEn0QcX
— ethical hater (@DijahSB) June 2, 2024

June 3

Please stop raising awareness. There is too much. I have become too aware
— drew janda (@drewjanda) June 3, 2024

begging my kid to play video games instead of watching other people play video games online, folks the bar is in the molten core of the earth
— Cross-laminated Tinder (@nickhasthoughts) June 4, 2024

No way pic.twitter.com/63JIJ68w0Q
— Michael OC ☘️ (@vMichaelv) June 3, 2024

For pride month you can't say "let me get this straight…", you have to say "just so we're queer…"
— Roscoe the Cap King (@RoscoeJones) June 3, 2024

Her? https://t.co/q5i22sl1bA pic.twitter.com/wEP4mqosx7
— Kiki Mordi (@kikimordi) June 3, 2024

just discovered how americans pronounce niche, need a moment
— Emma Loffhagen (@emmaloffhagen) June 3, 2024

You guys. The newly elected President of Mexico is a Jewish woman, but there's a group of right wing crazies on here saying she's not Jewish because she thanked Jesus in her remarks. YOU GUYS! JESÚS. IS. HER. HUSBAND! I can't stop laughing...
— Dana Goldberg (@DGComedy) June 4, 2024

lololol omg https://t.co/4Z3lDRlZ8V
— Laurie Kilmartin (@anylaurie16) June 3, 2024

Cult Leader Not Even Charismatic https://t.co/zUAKaMJ1Sl
— The Onion (@TheOnion) June 3, 2024

https://t.co/pYFCueg8jf pic.twitter.com/7qJ1XTzDek
— Jesse (@RequiemArm) June 4, 2024

he can literally buy another bottle at any grocery store for like 4 dollars https://t.co/VCP3JZYo48
— yume nikki minaj (@jun3buggy) June 3, 2024

spotted last night in williamsburg pic.twitter.com/SGCTfh5MRw
— katelin, MUP🇵🇸!!! (@loud_socialist) June 3, 2024

Fuck everything about this worthless trash snake oil industry. They're burning untold resources in service of absolutely nothing. Tech bros should be relocated to a planet they can destroy without killing the rest of us. https://t.co/qnqnlVkrrQ
— DrewMcWeeny (@DrewMcWeeny) June 3, 2024

a seemingly innocent mixup that allowed him to plant a thumbprint scanner on the door handle https://t.co/DOd5WxLmh7
— Scott Leger (@Scotterybarn) June 4, 2024

Instagram needs to understand I don't give a fuck who posted on threads for the first time.
— Berto (@bertoa_) June 3, 2024

i dont think that selecting "remember this computer" has ever done anything even once in the history of computing
— richard (@richard_normal) June 3, 2024

https://t.co/20feKN3wib pic.twitter.com/cjI3CX7vtm
— 𝔖𝔠𝔬𝔱𝔱 ℜ𝔲𝔰𝔰𝔢𝔩𝔩 🍉 (@pscottrussell) June 3, 2024

the dream https://t.co/7cWo2pqfGP
— Tobias Ryan (@TobiasvRyan) June 3, 2024

Her testimony this sunday at the church is gonna be one for the books https://t.co/z1FN5yMOmA
— Alex Goodwin, Ph.D. (@AlexGoodwinTSM) June 4, 2024

Average Javier Milei moment https://t.co/xCEvbFZonM pic.twitter.com/FXnJwXldrn
— 679 Enthusiast (@marionumber4) June 4, 2024

This is the weirdest thing I've ever typed, but I have had a treadmill for four years and TODAY OUT OF THE BLUE IT TALKED.
— Jill Twiss (@jilltwiss) June 3, 2024

Cost of living increases hitting EVERYONE https://t.co/2Jf64glkPJ
— Joe Shōgun (@BostonJerry) June 3, 2024

Instead of "Take Your Child To Work Day" there should be a "Take Your Therapist To Work Day" so they can see exactly what you've been talking about
— Ghostface Kryllah (@kryzazzy) June 3, 2024

you should basically never start working until 10:30am. you should also start wrapping things up for the day around 3pm. and we mustn't forget about the traditional hour lunch.
— Jake 🕊️ (@moviefan67) June 3, 2024

It's illegal to sell a puppy within 8 weeks of birth because it's deemed cruel to separate it from its mother but corporate America expects women to return to work 4 weeks after giving birth.
— Echo 🔆 (@TheEcho13) June 4, 2024

June 4

They cut funding for the arts so that you could never imagine a way out of capitalism.
— Alex Arrelia (@AlexArrelia) June 4, 2024

Fun reminder time :) pic.twitter.com/QG66BdggEw
— Lauren McKenzie (@TheMcKenziest) June 4, 2024

eminem lyrics since 2009: https://t.co/LM4rCHtyrT
— left at london🇵🇸 (@LeftAtLondon) June 4, 2024

Friend, at my first Pride: are you disappointed?

Me, dressed as a lion: no it's fine
— Dr. Simon D. A. Clark (@Kelpiesi) June 4, 2024

https://t.co/CokmtI8WBN pic.twitter.com/9kCM3wKUCV
— 𝚋𝚘𝚢 𝚋𝚊𝚛𝚛𝚎𝚝𝚝 👨🏻‍💻 (@ItsKennyAgain) June 4, 2024

watching UHF with some friends. god tier film pic.twitter.com/gVSFKEvqtf
— dille (@nescartridges) June 5, 2024

Does… does that wall say "inspirational quote on colourful background"? https://t.co/bbCCIBUtHR
— Pieter Westerhof (@TwoMetrePieter) June 4, 2024

i don't gossip at work i circle back for important new interpersonal developments regarding workplace associates
— Adam (@adamgreattweet) June 4, 2024

This isn't a very good use of the hashtag feature https://t.co/94cAqR0vfK
— Nathan (@ParisPhl) June 4, 2024

Liberals when a milkshake is thrown at a fascist: IMAGINE THIS MILKSHAKE WAS A BOMB AND THIS FASCIST WAS A DEFENCELESS GRANDMOTHER?!
Liberals when a bomb is dropped on a grandmother: Well it's all very complicated and it's impossible to say if this is good or not.
— All Watched Over By Machines of Drum and Bass (@bartlebooth45) June 4, 2024

Conservative idiot of the day wants his Stanley Cup playoffs for free on the public broadcaster (CBC). The CBC, which all conservatives claim they don't watch, lost the license to broadcast NHL games live under Harper. This guy is running for office. https://t.co/gmQe3gh7eb
— Unbranded (@Unbranded63) June 5, 2024

Probably not the best way to reply to this pic.twitter.com/55i1f0FztI
— Everything App Hidden Blue Subscriber (@swamp_land) June 5, 2024

when does it start shooting https://t.co/qXWTexwJsJ
— PRETTY MUCH IT (@PrettyMuchIt) June 5, 2024

i suspect the root of this is what it almost always is: a landlords raising rents apocalypse https://t.co/EnyfbApaIy
— brian (@brianonhere) June 4, 2024

White people will name their dog Bradley and have 2 kids named Rocket and Buddy
— BASED SAVAGE (@crackcobain__) June 4, 2024

would you answer? pic.twitter.com/1oK3DElbna
— lil piss baby (@11kmrn) June 5, 2024

pic.twitter.com/f60KJ0ldN6
— 𝔅𝔯𝔬𝔱𝔞𝔤𝔬𝔫𝔦𝔰𝔱 𝔬𝔣 ℜ𝔢𝔞𝔩𝔦𝔱𝔶 (@clevelandreaper) June 4, 2024

Serial killer Jeffrey Dahmer was attacked and killed by another inmate this week.

Just before the fight, Dahmer threatened, "Hey don't mess with me, pal. I used to eat guys like you for breakfast." pic.twitter.com/0dbxXF1FD7
— Norm Macdonald Joke of the Day (@NormSNLJokes) June 4, 2024

https://t.co/QW0oNkCqEz pic.twitter.com/AHYO8FEPzV
— mitch mitchell (@czarmitch) June 5, 2024

https://t.co/4NFidlaGjh pic.twitter.com/Uk9Gaf8dAk
— Rebecca (@femceldorito) June 4, 2024

not calling a basquiat painting tumblr 😭😭 https://t.co/R3XzptdoLf
— captain brian (@quebecween) June 5, 2024

Wait, what do these people think the sky is now? pic.twitter.com/aSIvxTu0Gq
— Lincoln Michel (@TheLincoln) June 4, 2024

https://t.co/1RNS5xF8Jz pic.twitter.com/iMup1aMKcf
— ClassicMovieClips (@clips_classic) June 4, 2024

June 5

https://t.co/ZnWjKTe6O8 pic.twitter.com/552Bk1PTYV
— Dr. Old Ric (@old_ric) June 6, 2024

pic.twitter.com/DXTaSQIdEN
— ̊ (@doxie_gay) June 5, 2024

Soft launching death is insane. https://t.co/bpDHGbYZx4
— VeeAyeElle (@mylifewritten) June 5, 2024

"Not Like Us" live in a stadium on a Black national holiday might start this whole thing over 😂😂😂 https://t.co/AP7uzjHYk7
— Boul. (@CoryTownes) June 5, 2024

wow babe you're really good at staying up incredibly late and barely sleeping every night
— beer person (@CantEverDie) June 6, 2024

My parents are doing 2 completely different languages on duolingo in the same room at the same time with no headphones
— Dan Duvall (@lazerdoov) June 5, 2024

mistyped "Sure thing!" as "Sure ting!" on a work email just now pic.twitter.com/JA5Zf39LId
— Mike Townsend (@townsendyesmate) June 5, 2024

The first person to wear a jersey to a game must have blown people's minds. He was probably signing autographs in the stands https://t.co/wbp4sXyb8w
— John Rich (@JohnRichTV) June 5, 2024

The best part of being a Canadian television writer is pitching an original to execs, being told that concept isn't in line with the market, watching the same concept hit in the U.S., and then having that hit be used as a market comp during all future exec meetings.
— JP Larocque🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️ (@jplarocque) June 5, 2024

Chloë Sevigny asking Kim Kardashian if she's a big cinephile. I'll never recover.
— Ξvan Ross Katz (@evanrosskatz) June 5, 2024

THIS IS CINEMA. pic.twitter.com/ELIw1hqWDm
— Ξvan Ross Katz (@evanrosskatz) June 5, 2024

everyone was there it as less than a year ago https://t.co/5XclCRZfJx
— REDACTED Sportello (@BenShh1) June 6, 2024

I miss this day and I wasn't even there😔🤣 pic.twitter.com/BokPcvuTgH
— It Girl Kye🦄🫃🏾 (@GxldSociety) June 5, 2024

its not called roadtown https://t.co/yfQDtWzTbg
— fraser ramon (@SteveMerkle9) June 5, 2024

who the United States is rooting for in the NBA Finals pic.twitter.com/s8LP9Pz2FX
— LakeShowYo (@LakeShowYo) June 6, 2024

https://t.co/4oj5lrZRl8 pic.twitter.com/HILGIVbspY
— Nolan 🌹 (@VoidOfRoses) June 5, 2024

June 6

Incredible bit to introduce a new character like he might become a series regular and then immediately run him over with a lawnmower. https://t.co/ZQlASASndf pic.twitter.com/NmqcRgdVFv
— Ben Crew (@BenjaminCrew1) June 6, 2024

honestly, retired game show host goes to Hawaii to star in community theater murder mystery and ends up actually investigating a murder would be a good show https://t.co/mdndtDlEtO
— Michael Pielocik (@michaelpielocik) June 6, 2024

I can't top this. https://t.co/WAkCDouJto
— New York Times Pitchbot (@DougJBalloon) June 6, 2024

https://t.co/4M1QSaYkKV pic.twitter.com/7qkH5RBRlC
— Charles (@CcharlieHoodd) June 6, 2024

i'm dying https://t.co/Ib59PzR07Y pic.twitter.com/yW0Ds1JXIk
— Maddie (@MaddieMovies) June 6, 2024

Wizard of Oz ass scandal https://t.co/8TRjvchrX4
— Big Tucson Dad (@BigTucsonDad) June 6, 2024

Hey. Remember when the Mayor of Toronto did that? https://t.co/QGK6zPU1MT pic.twitter.com/0Js9vwAfci
— Dean Blundell🇨🇦 (@ItsDeanBlundell) June 6, 2024

This Funny Week in Funny Tweets: June 7, 2024

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