A cautionary tale, could've been an email, a low T male, a pole vaulter's impressive fail, and much more from this week in funny tweets.

August 2

my favorite movie https://t.co/EL2KEE8bgK pic.twitter.com/huM9N4YNo7
— zach silberberg (@zachsilberberg) August 2, 2024

"I HAVE HAD IT WITH THESE MOTHERFUCKING STRANGERS ON THIS MOTHERFUCKING TRAIN" pic.twitter.com/AtCMqsfTqt
— Nea Ching (@TheGayChingy) August 3, 2024

Just keeps getting better and better pic.twitter.com/LnDtCJ8t2z
— Jonah Koslofsky (@Koslofskyspeaks) August 2, 2024

Just put another patty on it dawg stop playin wit me pic.twitter.com/roQ9pbEMs2
— ʰ (@easterngoblin) August 2, 2024

Making suicide illegal is one of the most hilarious laws we've ever done as humans
— miss worm (@missuswormy) August 2, 2024

I just had an American energy drink and at first I was happy to get out from under Canada's bs nanny state caffeine restrictions but honestly I'm extremely fucked up now I'm practically dissociating, how do you people live like this
— Rob (@robrousseau) August 2, 2024

my favourite rescue mission is when I have to scoop up a little broken chip in the dip with a bigger stronger chip
— vision bored (@visionbored2) August 2, 2024

Tiger Woods hasn't recorded back-to-back eagles on par 4s during his entire career. https://t.co/LOGpvEt3EU
— Jay Motty (@JayMotty) August 2, 2024

he did the tweet https://t.co/T25kLBNl4x pic.twitter.com/4FwZYYTs9x
— Lindsay Ballant (@lindsayballant) August 2, 2024

I love my black job 🖤 https://t.co/c5wPc6xOY3
— Simone Biles (@Simone_Biles) August 2, 2024

Joe Rogan is a low T male
He openly speaks about being on testosterone replacement.

Joe Rogan is claiming that high T in women makes them a male.

By his own logic, Joe Rogan is a biological woman presenting as a trans man.
— ✨KGB✨ (@KGBlmfao) August 2, 2024

You move different once u put ur two weeks in 💀 https://t.co/NQQOUIcaxt
— Crème Du Meow Meow🍦 (@bxtchesnblunts_) August 2, 2024

I just wrote a great piece for WIRED predicting that the AI bubble will in collapse in 2025, and now I wish I hadn't.

Clearly, I got the year wrong. It's going to be days or weeks from now, not months.
— Gary Marcus (@GaryMarcus) August 3, 2024

"They're the same picture." pic.twitter.com/N1BGe6rSvG
— MattSIaboch (@AmongTheQuadi) August 2, 2024

pic.twitter.com/HA1mvz0Is7
— Anne Spanks The Morons (@Anneof1000Drags) August 2, 2024

the guy who ran this museum we are in in Slovenia just talked us through how the museum worked and then said "seeing as you're British, please don't steal anything for your own museum"
— a rare photo of sean connery signed by roger moore (@steamedhamms) August 2, 2024

August 3

i dont go here but like why does she keep releasing shit from the same album explain it to me like im five https://t.co/qV1fN0983B
— theo ♡ TUA S4 SPOILERS (@astairepilled) August 3, 2024

can u guys stop making up new white people like who the hell is this https://t.co/YewIXz7Xjx
— 𝚔𝚍 ❦ (@fromkdwithluv) August 4, 2024

this isn't an insult but billie eilish looks like she would sit next to you in tenth grade algebra and never have her own pencil
— noa 🍉 (@thenoasletter) August 3, 2024

keep honking I'm listening to ska and you're in the band now
— brianloveswords (@brianloveswords) August 3, 2024

jk rowling ditched the black mold pic for whatever the fuck we have here pic.twitter.com/XvYLi2GUp8
— slate (@PleaseBeGneiss) August 4, 2024

She just changed her profile picture because of this lmao pic.twitter.com/eF4bjZmcfB
— evan loves worf (@esjesjesj) August 4, 2024

#TrumpRally pic.twitter.com/tiUkRxKwO1
— Nicole (@Fugitaboutut) August 3, 2024

Yes, Milli Vanilli, definitely most famous for the scandal of "pretending to be German" pic.twitter.com/MRBiLNuXza
— Brian Hiatt (@hiattb) August 3, 2024

Who's she guarding the couch from https://t.co/GFVqLKDXsG
— Daniel Kibblesmith (@kibblesmith) August 4, 2024

Trying to determine if this is a 30 Rock bit or an Arrested Development bit https://t.co/u3LJcgpAt6
— george slopadopolus (@mustachetoilet) August 3, 2024

Pierre Poilievre is fucking weird. pic.twitter.com/StRRHCyIAK
— Roddy 🇨🇦 (@RodKahx) August 3, 2024

Poilievre learned how to be a phony from the best. https://t.co/XkK1O62PAx pic.twitter.com/FPu8fCqN78
— Unbranded (@Unbranded63) August 3, 2024

https://t.co/0mVVNqJBOI pic.twitter.com/r1AzDzECHh
— 👑 bear the benevolent 🏰 (@PADDINGTONROCKS) August 4, 2024

A good camera operator is the difference between a shot, and art. pic.twitter.com/Wby6WoO89M
— Imry Halevi (@imryh) August 3, 2024

When someone asks me to hang out after 8pm https://t.co/oX3tu0gBun
— Meagan ❄️ (@atlmeagsnow) August 3, 2024

I'm no expert at pole vault but I don't think it's supposed to go like this #OlympicGames pic.twitter.com/tZTpvTwkZG
— James 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿🇦🇺 (@JamesK_1312) August 3, 2024

Listen, if I were a man and was going to lose in the pole vault at the Olympics, I would want it to be because my giant d**k took the bar down.
— Dana Goldberg (@DGComedy) August 3, 2024

(exhausted boyfriend voice) yeah babe i saw the thing about the pole vaulter
— rob (@ok_but_still) August 4, 2024

August 4

Roses are red
Earth is near Venus pic.twitter.com/VMpYTWAm5u
— Laura Bassett (@LEBassett) August 4, 2024

Never feel more powerful than when I delete an app. All them mfs shaking, don't know who's getting cut
— Jason, ex Inferis (@benedictsred) August 4, 2024

Joe Rogan is the adult Caillou https://t.co/uvvUteWvVU pic.twitter.com/ZcpA6Tt6h8
— Lauren Rinaldi 🧚‍♀️ (@LRinaldiArt) August 4, 2024

This special came out AFTER the Tim Heidecker parody of specials like this, mind you https://t.co/Fkb9olFEjx
— Katie Rife (@RifewithKatie) August 4, 2024

This is a great Olympics but I miss the Rio energy. Ryan Lochte peeing all over a gas station and lying about getting robbed, Bob Costas broadcasting with dual pink eye. Chaos.
— Jesse Case (@jessecase) August 5, 2024

Thanks Josh mom 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤷🏿‍♂️🎶🇺🇸🎤🛑😭👍🏿 https://t.co/3G9wSWFlCY
— Snoop Dogg (@SnoopDogg) August 4, 2024

No babe I like yours… you actually have a huge advantage at pole vaulting
— Kelsey Ryan (@420weedteen) August 5, 2024

me while my mom stops to talk with someone pic.twitter.com/AdYkQwNcHk
— carolina (@86R0WDY) August 4, 2024

Several athletes who swam in the Seine are now "mysteriously" ill and unable to continue participating in events. The news said they're unsure if there's a connection. pic.twitter.com/O5zSo8VUcR
— Simply TC 💚💛🖤💙 (@BienSur_JeTaime) August 4, 2024

The funniest part of this to me is that if she actually identified as a man the same people would be insisting she was a woman https://t.co/iQQTMo6Aw3
— molly 🇵🇸 (@pagan_online) August 4, 2024

I AM HOWLING pic.twitter.com/ySnyBkcl7y
— Kimberly (@antisocialkim) August 5, 2024

I found the immigrant who's trying to destroy our country. pic.twitter.com/IabeH358fc
— SarahCA (@SarahBCalif) August 5, 2024

Every time I hear a story about or from this guy I think about how insane Cheryl Hines must be https://t.co/I6aBa4Qvux
— Sophia 💛 (@Sophia_in_NYC) August 4, 2024

How NYC local news covered the dead bear RFK Jr put into Central Park ten years ago 😬👀 https://t.co/J25gDeLQ1Q pic.twitter.com/nJio51Li3R
— Luther Lowe (@lutherlowe) August 4, 2024

an infinite number of monkeys could type for a million years and STILL not predict whatever the next RFK Jr. headline is gonna be pic.twitter.com/ElF5ZRugyE
— Jude Atwood (@JudeAtwood) August 4, 2024

CNN covering the dead bear cub story in 2014.

Today, RFK Jr admitted responsibility for it. https://t.co/Zhg3NvL3e9
— Yashar Ali 🐘 (@yashar) August 4, 2024

Harris: We must make the economy work for everyone.

Trump: Spaghetti? Have you heard of this pasta? Terrible pasta shape, Chef Boyardee was not a beautiful man.

RFK Jr.: When I was a young man I kept a dead chimp in my garage for 67 days.
— Dead Eyes, Horse Teeth (@thereisnojayjay) August 5, 2024

it's cool that RFK Jr is always doing a Chappaquiddick with like a weasel or a dragon
— broti gupta (@BrotiGupta) August 5, 2024

Nobody:
Rfk Jr: I had a brain worm
...
Rfk Jr: I've sexually harassed a lot women
...
Rfk Jr: I once planted a dead bear in central park
— snek (@thee_snek) August 4, 2024

- pic.twitter.com/Gx1JQJZCKm
— Dr. Richard Harambe (@Richard_Harambe) August 5, 2024

maybe not the right merch for them to be selling? pic.twitter.com/TWglOAiDSr
— Jesse Ferguson (@JesseFFerguson) August 5, 2024

How is eating a dog the second worst RFK Jr. animal story
— Keith Edwards (@keithedwards) August 4, 2024

Twitter is fun again, at least briefly... pic.twitter.com/foFMQv2Uf8
— Charles Gaba ✡️ (@charles_gaba) August 5, 2024

🕵️‍♀️ pic.twitter.com/EewD3K18U8
— dang laser (@youranalogbuddy) August 5, 2024

Never leaving this site pic.twitter.com/D1QJDBlAZT
— Carl (@HistoryBoomer) August 5, 2024

August 5

would give anything to hear tim robinson recite the rfk bear story so here's some verbatim quotes as i think you should leave characters pic.twitter.com/cMt0CAj5mj
— Sal Gentile (@salgentile) August 5, 2024

Isn't "never take a picture with the body" in the family crest somewhere https://t.co/En4anSFQv5
— Anna Merlan (@annamerlan) August 5, 2024

Becoming a dinosaur scientist and winning a gold medal for jumping on the trampoline, don't tell any 7 year old their dreams are out of reach https://t.co/7cORUHndOp
— 🚩Dan Credentials🚩 (@CharlemagnumPI) August 5, 2024

gotta have mixed feelings. like imagine becoming the best in the world at a 4,500 year old sport, the very first year it becomes associated with needing a small dick to be good https://t.co/u08EjvLFjt
— Andrew Nadeau (@TheAndrewNadeau) August 6, 2024

Obsessed with the fact that, because Rebeca Andrade doesn't speak English and Simone Biles doesn't speak Portuguese, the vast majority of their interactions consists of giggling, enthusiastic nodding and variations of this: pic.twitter.com/oyVaK86dbN
— Rafa Sales Ross (@rafiews) August 5, 2024

It's repeatedly said by the guests on the show, but it's crazy that a silly show about making celebrities suffer from eating hot sauce asks the most insightful, carefully researched questions and creates the most incredible interviews. https://t.co/uOhKukr5L0
— I am Ultraman but ginger (@ultraman_ginger) August 5, 2024

lol i thought people were just riffing on a blurry photo of a pattern on her wall but this has me confused now. how real is the mold https://t.co/VPxQwJ6I7D
— Shaun (shaunvids on bsky) (@shaun_vids) August 5, 2024

RIP Edgar Allan Poe. You would have loved watching a beloved children's author slowly driven to insanity by black mold inside the walls of her castle.
— mkb (@MatthewKBegbie) August 5, 2024

Ladies and Gentlemen,

Yes, I have emphysema from my many years of smoking. I have to say that I enjoyed smoking very much, and I do love tobacco - the smell of it, lighting cigarettes on fire, smoking them - but there is a price to pay for this enjoyment, and the price for me is…
— David Lynch (@DAVID_LYNCH) August 5, 2024

Saying "I enjoyed smoking very much, and I do love tobacco - the smell of it, lighting cigarettes on fire, smoking them" in your announcement that you have emphysema is very cool.
— Rick Paulas (@rick_paulas) August 5, 2024

Rod Stewart used my tweet in his concert.

💫 pic.twitter.com/qFScTQbBxY
— Jane of the North (@JaneotN) August 5, 2024

kamala is charming. walz is charming. will an all-charming ticket alienate the crucial "friendless creep" demographic? my latest for the atlantic
— katie (@focusfronting) August 6, 2024

So RFK Jr wanted to eat a dead bear cub he found on the side of the road but won't take a vaccine because it isn't "safe"?
— Covie (@covie_93) August 5, 2024

"So it's 2019 and I'm in the Wuhan Province at a wet market…" pic.twitter.com/mNDE17M6Ye
— Aubrey Strobel (@aubreystrobel) August 5, 2024

"why would you even put the bear in your car?" pic.twitter.com/94ojmgBduk
— derek guy (@dieworkwear) August 6, 2024

Honestly RFK Jr. picking up a dead bear and moving it to a second location is more "Appalachian" than anything JD Vance has ever done.
— Sean Thomason (@TheThomason) August 5, 2024

Reporter: Thank you for sitting down for this inter...

RFK Jr: My family and I ate Jimmy Hoffa for Thanksgiving in 1975 pic.twitter.com/ZNe0fqWTeF
— Conspiratorial Templates (@mynamehear) August 5, 2024

Every RFK JR interview reminds me of the Storytellers: Neil Diamond SNL sketch pic.twitter.com/8Vo9Luiikl
— jon drake (@DrakeGatsby) August 5, 2024

August 6

Them is killing me https://t.co/8sJYzEVG5Q
— Griffin Maxwell Brooks (THEY/THEM) (@GriffinMaxwellB) August 6, 2024

White women love starting shit and playing victim. https://t.co/2B36H3rxoA
— pfabg💛 (@Shanitaaaa) August 6, 2024

French pole vaulter Anthony Ammirati looking out his balcony in his hotel in Paris pic.twitter.com/X86KGg92CG
— iamtheREALvegasMURPH (@RealMurphdog916) August 6, 2024

I am overjoyed. I have been a longtime supporter of Tim Walz ever since I learned about him like last week
— Vinny Thomas (@vinn_ayy) August 6, 2024

Get this man in the White House pic.twitter.com/o0Q6b1udJP
— Amy A (@lolennui) August 6, 2024

This election is essentially:

America's Fun Aunt and America's Fun Dad

vs.

A Convicted Felon and Your Weird Cousin
— Phil's Wins 🥥🌴 (@philipjonathn) August 6, 2024

So let me get this straight:

Governor Walz made sure menstrual supplies were available in schools because he understands that period insecurity is real and that girls' periods are unpredictable and somehow I'm supposed to be upset by this????
— Uppity Black Faerie Gothmother of Metal 🖤 (@FountainPenDiva) August 6, 2024

It's funny MAGA is calling Walz #TamponTim when their candidate strapped a maxi pad to his face for over a week.

🙄
— Art Candee 🍿🥤 (@ArtCandee) August 7, 2024

Walz wants your daughter to have access to tampons at her school if she needs them. Vance wants to know your daughter's menstrual cycle to see if she was up to any aborting. Let's check the weird meter…
— Mark Thompson (@Son_of_a_Thomp) August 6, 2024

Harris/Walz will give fourth graders free lunches, while Trump/Vance will force them to give birth. — It's as simple as that.
— Andrea Junker (@Strandjunker) August 6, 2024

Tampons mean you aren't pregnant so of course Republicans don't want tween girls to have them.
— Laurie Kilmartin (@anylaurie16) August 6, 2024

i'm already voting for him y'all ain't gotta work so hard https://t.co/PukNCRnJMv
— madeline odent (@oldenoughtosay) August 6, 2024

Well. Oiled. Machine. https://t.co/efTNiB7XR4
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) August 7, 2024

Proud of my heritage. https://t.co/zC3gnTU94a
— Brian Stack (@BrianStack153) August 6, 2024

https://t.co/Al1rTOjBq3 pic.twitter.com/bAaPaDqqlu
— Political Science B.A. (@InternetHippo) August 7, 2024

Stay Positive https://t.co/468WZjlSZX
— The Hold Steady (@theholdsteady) August 6, 2024

Finally, someone who might've seen Hüsker Dü live in the White House.
— Tim Duffy™ (@TimDuffy) August 6, 2024

absolutely wild that the only lasting impact of the Trump assassination was Tenacious D breaking up
— Jules Suzdaltsev (@jules_su) August 7, 2024

Trump: "Tim Walz will unleash hell on Earth!"

Tim Walz: pic.twitter.com/qWitRDKKmx
— Ahmed Baba (@AhmedBaba_) August 6, 2024

CNN: Harris chooses Walz

Fox News: Walz selected as Harris running mate

NYT: Walz chosen over Shapiro

NBC Boston: Kamala Harris selects Tim Walz, governor of Minnesota, the home of the Timberwolves, who traded Kevin Garnett to the Celtics in 2007 ahead of 2008 NBA title win
— Mike Beauvais (@MikeBeauvais) August 6, 2024

this is a very strong case where shitposting on your phone is not a waste of time and can literally shape the future of your country pic.twitter.com/uNM4D8jH1d
— slate (@PleaseBeGneiss) August 7, 2024

no fucking way lmfao pic.twitter.com/Gf3q3yQeKk
— Andrew Lawrence (@ndrew_lawrence) August 6, 2024

I don't say this lightly but whoever it was made the initial couch joke has quite possibly changed the course of American history
— madeline odent (@oldenoughtosay) August 6, 2024

Dig, if you will, a picture... pic.twitter.com/38uu3skW6L
— ThereWillBeTypos 🤷🏾‍♀️ (@CGTheGeek) August 6, 2024

Y'all sure you want to do this https://t.co/EJVrAqd8hX pic.twitter.com/Lelvzfoxys
— steven monacelli (@stevanzetti) August 6, 2024

The Trump campaign is attacking Tim Walz for restoring voting rights to convicted felons.

Who... wants to tell them. pic.twitter.com/gFLB6OkGSW
— Jennifer Bendery (@jbendery) August 6, 2024

Dumbass @jaketapper just said the crowd booed when Walz mentioned Bruce Springsteen….guess old Jake never been to Springsteen show because the crowd was doing Bruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuce
— Wu Tang is for the Children (@WUTangKids) August 6, 2024

After the Minnesota Timberwolves beat the Nuggets last year, Charles Barkley said he hadn't been there in a long time. Ant Edwards famously quipped, "Bring ya ass."

The state proclamation to congratulate the team secretly spelled out, "Bring ya ass."

It was signed by Tim Walz. pic.twitter.com/v4WlyNNCCP
— Mikel Jollett (@Mikel_Jollett) August 7, 2024

"Walz wants to allow convicted felons to vote!" warns convicted felon who is running for president.
— Ashton Pittman (@ashtonpittman) August 6, 2024

I sent this to my dad and he's voting different now. I'm not joking. https://t.co/WbSOLsjABt
— | freedrinks | lisa al gaib | (@lisacfriedrich) August 6, 2024

You're telling me this dude predicted the Rwandan genocide with 20 teenagers and 2MB of RAM and I'm supposed to be upset because he makes a bunch of Romney voters sad https://t.co/znqO1tbRIT
— Josh Raby (@JoshRaby) August 6, 2024

He's also never been accused of physically abusing his wife and kids. https://t.co/47qHvsUv3y
— Kayleigh Donaldson (@Ceilidhann) August 6, 2024

This is hilarious pic.twitter.com/QrdmPhJzrJ
— Claude Taylor (@TrueFactsStated) August 6, 2024

*Walz makes a couch joke*

Wise, grown-up pundit: "the couch stuff is untrue and shameful"

*Trump and Vance spray a firehose of lies every time they open their mouths*

Same pundit: "oh well, what can you do?"
— Andy Richter (@AndyRichter) August 7, 2024

girl… be serious https://t.co/Omf9m9EDfq pic.twitter.com/FrRcszDdYD
— Peter Twinklage 🥥🌴 (@PeterTwinklage) August 6, 2024

Tim Walz gives out full sized candy bars on Halloween.
This election is over. Trump and Vance should just concede now. https://t.co/ZbNwOTe153
— Pete Woods- professional hand mover (@thatpetewoods) August 7, 2024

August 7

"When is Christmas?" pic.twitter.com/FIKTAu9syR
— Yorkshire (@YorkshireSlang) August 7, 2024

Phenomenal Tony Soprano impression I'm SCREECHING pic.twitter.com/lY8r6IycAV
— 𝕯𝖎𝖑𝖉𝖔 𝕭𝖆𝖌𝖌𝖎𝖓𝖘 (@EmmaTolkin) August 7, 2024

this app is too obsessed with age gap discourse. if they're happy together, let them be https://t.co/JEklGWa9wt
— 🟡 The tumboy 🟡 (@TheTumboy) August 7, 2024

Don't call it that. https://t.co/sp1fDtGKK9
— LLCOOLJ (@llcoolj) August 8, 2024

my politics pic.twitter.com/GlrlQnvzPS
— tyler (@walletcheck) August 8, 2024

Is Elon Musk the first man in the world to have been radicalised by algorithms he implemented on a website he also owns
— Matt Zarb-Cousin (@mattzarb) August 7, 2024

DEAD pic.twitter.com/tlsE13EPtO
— chris evans (@notcapnamerica) August 7, 2024

kinda hilarious that the "nobody can tell jokes anymore" crowd is super angry about a couch joke
— Mike Drucker (@MikeDrucker) August 7, 2024

walz's couch joke is actually genius because to offline normies it just sounds like he's calling vance lazy, but in order for conservatives to explain what it *actually* means, they have to give so much insane context that they come off as unhinged
— charles r. davis (@charizardavis) August 8, 2024

I'd go so far as to say that if you know just ONE thing about Minnesota, it's that Milwaukee isn't in it https://t.co/872kEQTEXi
— Ben Wexler (@mrbenwexler) August 8, 2024

I have a new theory about why Trump has basically been MIA ever since doing that interview… https://t.co/xZEUcxHGxU
— Samuel Sinyangwe (@samswey) August 8, 2024

https://t.co/FQs3b1MnZV pic.twitter.com/w6YTVUNwo2
— danielle weisberg for hire (@danielleweisber) August 8, 2024

This is a drag queen name. pic.twitter.com/dC9sMx41cw
— Ben Siemon (@BenjaminJS) August 7, 2024

Tampon Tim would love to help you out with the blood coming out of your wherever. https://t.co/jnYE9NzQxS
— Lauren Windsor (@lawindsor) August 8, 2024

If this was a scene from The Boys people would criticize the writing as being too blatant and hamfisted. https://t.co/xtqpao2JTP
— ☠️ Lilith Lovett ☠️ - Famous Minority (@LilithLovett) August 7, 2024

The viral JD Vance clip in which he's asked what makes you smile and lashes out at the reporter is amazing because 1 he botched the answer but 2 lol a man being told to smile more.
— Emily 🗣️ Tamkin (@emilyctamkin) August 7, 2024

Every woman who has ever tried to have a drink at a bar by herself has dealt with this guy. You are an SNL sketch character come to life. https://t.co/5aybWhkM88
— W. Kamau Bell (@wkamaubell) August 7, 2024

https://t.co/0eUoryp49W pic.twitter.com/UPURtwvfR5
— Pep Boys & Baboon Cinematic Universe (Updates) (@EarvLikes) August 8, 2024

JD Vance's Michigan rally could've been an email. https://t.co/HxColcM5Nz
— Christopher Hale (@chrisjollyhale) August 7, 2024

This should show you how out of touch pro-Trump media is. They think people are standing outside in the heat to watch fuckin' Bon Iver play like three songs in 2024. https://t.co/0PYdUzNIWq
— Tim Onion (@oneunderscore__) August 7, 2024

Notice how the barrel of Walz's gun is pointed away from his dog. https://t.co/lIpZd4MFhy pic.twitter.com/jgkKfMWBC3
— Gospel Chadvocate 🪨🥫 (@CaneRidgeSSR) August 7, 2024

why would she tweet this? pic.twitter.com/2dmPKzPYrv
— Peter Twinklage 🥥🌴 (@PeterTwinklage) August 7, 2024

I mean this in the gentlest way possible: this is the most embarrassing tweet I've ever seen. https://t.co/m5gHKNhPBh
— Haley Scott (@HaleySScott) August 7, 2024

Oops, all Turtles pic.twitter.com/K3Vhpq1Hb6
— Julie Klausner (@julieklausner) August 7, 2024

yeah man nothing less masculine than getting married to a beautiful world class professional athlete. https://t.co/N7yyQD8KTu
— Robert Evans (The Only Robert Evans) (@IwriteOK) August 8, 2024

They gave free rein to the young interns…
It's about to get wild. pic.twitter.com/bgn4ydM5ju
— Isaac G. Bryan (@ib2_real) August 7, 2024

August 8

pic.twitter.com/FAro1KcFjK
— dang laser (@youranalogbuddy) August 8, 2024

Walz is the guy who asks if you need help with a creepy dude at the bar.

Vance is the creepy dude at the bar.
— Jess Piper (@piper4missouri) August 8, 2024

Evergreen https://t.co/l8qyXUQXu7 pic.twitter.com/dLxVD8FBLD
— The Monday Morning QuarterBLACK (@TheMMQBL) August 7, 2024

one of the greatest philosophers of my generation https://t.co/QkoSmvGjHu
— sreekar (@sreekyshooter) August 8, 2024

If you want to know how this press conference is going for Donald Trump, the Harris campaign has now tweeted nine videos of him ranting verbatim. https://t.co/JgfmlKcgM1
— Matt McDermott (@mattmfm) August 8, 2024

Who did this? 🤣🤣pic.twitter.com/FBGrXL7hKP
— Jon Cooper (@joncoopertweets) August 8, 2024

I find this man super weird and I did a love scene with a duck. #trumpmeltdown https://t.co/66oMePXbBn
— Lea Thompson (@LeaKThompson) August 8, 2024

At today's press conference, Donald Trump once again showed clear signs of dementia. Here's why we won't be reporting on that.
— New York Times Pitchbot (@DougJBalloon) August 8, 2024

Trump tells a story today about flying in a helicopter with Willie Brown that almost crashed and how terrified Willie was and how Trump will never forget it.

Willie Brown: I never flew in a helicopter with Donald Trump.
— Ron Filipkowski (@RonFilipkowski) August 9, 2024

weird move to televise your own mental breakdown
— Brett Meiselas (@BMeiselas) August 8, 2024

this is like 9/11 for republican zoomers https://t.co/PIwUjiRDK7
— orange county dem 🥥🌴🇺🇸 (@orangecountydem) August 8, 2024

Saw this today: pic.twitter.com/uS11KPbop0
— Cindy and Luis Urrea (@Urrealism) August 8, 2024

Interviewer: you're here in the heart of dairy country, what's your favorite kind of ice cream?

JD Vance: Hitler
— Amy A (@lolennui) August 8, 2024

The Trump campaign sure has that "Hitler in the bunker" energy these days. pic.twitter.com/fjI3jVNWnb
— 𝕊𝕦𝕟𝕕𝕒𝕖_𝔾𝕦𝕣𝕝 (@SundaeDivine) August 8, 2024

pic.twitter.com/t9R7f6r93R
— Barbara Hershey🌺 (@BarbaraHershey8) August 8, 2024

https://t.co/mvmMPLmYid pic.twitter.com/H6U48I3uet
— Mr. Coconut Treefied 🌴🥥 (@MikeStackified) August 8, 2024

Ronny Jackson still has on his Twitter bio that he is a retired Rear Admiral when the Navy demoted him to Captain two years ago. pic.twitter.com/MIC5t2cI5f
— Ron Filipkowski (@RonFilipkowski) August 8, 2024

I would like to make an apology regarding my previous tweet about JK Rowling. pic.twitter.com/XnLub3KJsV
— Eli Erlick (@EliErlick) August 8, 2024

I worked for CRA. CRA laid me off while I was on maternity leave. CRA didn't submit my ROE to CRA. So now CRA won't fulfill any EI benefits until they get a paper copy of my ROE… from CRA.

This has got to be some sort of cruel joke.
— colettemkp (@colettemkp) August 8, 2024

Whoa!! pic.twitter.com/UOUrn6TIiK
— Michael Balazo is at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival (@mbalazo) August 8, 2024

what, this guy? no way https://t.co/yJyo3Vvim4
— Fred Delicious 🍆 (@Fred_Delicious) August 8, 2024

My brother was also forced to have tampons in his bathroom at home because he and I shared a bathroom and you'll never believe this but he is alive and well today. https://t.co/FtK6kBzYwO
— Julia Claire (@ohJuliatweets) August 8, 2024

This Funny Week in Funny Tweets: August 9, 2024

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