What Twitter feels like, a breakdancing psych, MOTORBIKES, a horse meme spike, and much more from this week in funny tweets.

August 9

I'd like to meet the person who decided that if you wanted to get married fast it had to be done by Elvis
— eLeni (@eleniZarro) August 10, 2024

a girl who switches brains with beavers to learn about the secrets of beavers https://t.co/na1e4fLV4N
— legotrillermoth (@legotrillermoth) August 10, 2024

I am not mature enough for this. https://t.co/q95hW2V62t
— Julie S. Lalonde (@JulieSLalonde) August 9, 2024

Direct quote, buddy! @JDVance https://t.co/joXbm6NBzh pic.twitter.com/XM4ciBJfY5
— Some More News (@SomeMoreNews) August 10, 2024

Nothing to see here, just the guy who bought Twitter having free speech explained to him by a cat pic.twitter.com/QLYS6UvVBH
— Rachel Cunliffe (@RMCunliffe) August 9, 2024

VP really just has two jobs:
1. Step up if the president beefs it or croaks
2. Be a charming little stinker https://t.co/Q4WvGdqB1S
— Mr. Chau (@Srirachachau) August 10, 2024

The people insisting everyone should stop making couch fucking jokes sure are giving off real couchfucker energy.
— Tim Onion (@oneunderscore__) August 9, 2024

I'm sorry but is the Trump campaign literally playing the soundtrack to a movie... about a sinking ship? https://t.co/nwydlAwvzR
— Brian Tyler Cohen (@briantylercohen) August 10, 2024

God I hope this is real https://t.co/M4OVicjL5o
— General Guntar (@__Guntar__) August 9, 2024

A lot of Trump supporters came dressed as empty seats. pic.twitter.com/0rb3bBp9xl
— Sarah Larchmont (@SarahLarchmont) August 10, 2024

https://t.co/cy9mLuxgYY pic.twitter.com/xW8AAjuzaF
— sean (@_sn_n) August 9, 2024

I'm starting to get obsessed with how this lady scammed the Australian government to pay for her French holiday and all she had to do is pretend to breakdance pic.twitter.com/TjCjObnxnb
— Jenson Mutton 🐑 هايدي 🐨🦘 (@MissOoo1g) August 10, 2024

Raygun (AUS) https://t.co/w2lxLRaW2x
— Peter Nygaard (@RetepAdam) August 9, 2024

This is Rachael Gunn, she has a PhD in cultural movement and convinced Australia to pay for her trip to the Paris Olympics.

She participated in break dancing and got 0 points.

🐐 😂pic.twitter.com/8PULsMBxxN
— BowTiedMara (@BowTiedMara) August 10, 2024

Guys, be compassionate. Have we considered that maybe Raygun had a Freaky Friday happen to her this morning?
— Chris Schleicher (@cschleichsrun) August 10, 2024

I genuinely hope she sues you and you end up like Alex Jones. https://t.co/3kFIKZW1ZX
— Keith Orejel (@keithdorejel) August 10, 2024

this is the same Olympics that conservatives were boycotting for being satanic and/or woke, right? lol https://t.co/HcAvtRuNaE
— Matt Binder (@MattBinder) August 9, 2024

conservatives after getting the covid vaccinepic.twitter.com/DyNZ9OGHhA
— ugh (@838_carlisle) August 10, 2024

August 10

Most baller late night show guest entrance in TV history pic.twitter.com/4ECvp5nkaX
— Claire Penis (@ZeroSuitCamus) August 10, 2024

Genuinely can't stop thinking about how this guy waves. pic.twitter.com/PcH3EyLmDU
— cluedont (@cluedont) August 10, 2024

this should be the next m night shyamalan movie https://t.co/gpyGBJQVVA
— lala 🦠 (@ecto_fun) August 10, 2024

You've told me all I need to know thanks https://t.co/8q8hBxdmLB
— Laurie Kilmartin (@anylaurie16) August 10, 2024

https://t.co/3qYoRS25XP pic.twitter.com/mMHAWtaW29
— Katie (@KayTeeeOh) August 10, 2024

My life would have to be in danger before I would post "I had to use ChatGPT to learn where to buy a stamp" in public. https://t.co/206dYjI3uX
— Chris Towers is the Riley Greene Preservation Soc (@CTowersCBS) August 11, 2024

I love this place pic.twitter.com/nRYVbDMSgI
— Transphobes eat sh*t (@neverpilled) August 11, 2024

Twitter forever. Elon may have bought the sewer but this place belongs to the rats
— Dumb Beezie (@dumbbeezie) August 10, 2024

We absolutely do and that's why we don't have kids. https://t.co/tyhfOVgq1Z
— Austine (@theereal_one) August 10, 2024

Damn. Heard Kamala Harris is repeating the same speech at every rally which is terrible news for me, a guy who follows presidential candidates around the country like they're the band Phish
— Dan Wilbur (@DanWilbur) August 11, 2024

Yall are gonna lose it when you find out about concerts https://t.co/SQbMTiF3Fm
— Niles Francis (@NilesGApol) August 10, 2024

This is fake, Kevin.
And you aren't a good enough actor to sell this. https://t.co/tVON8prkXd
— Steve Marmel (@Marmel) August 10, 2024

Juries also call him those things. https://t.co/5wgiYCS5u2
— Ashton Pittman (@ashtonpittman) August 10, 2024

An under-discussed factor in this election is the numerous venues and towns that will not let one of the candidates campaign there due to him having previously refused to pay them. https://t.co/2jrTdouZxX pic.twitter.com/iMulizC6dx
— Smom (@smomwetgobam) August 10, 2024

Today, Celine Dion's management team and her record label, Sony Music Entertainment Canada Inc., became aware of the unauthorized usage of the video, recording, musical performance, and likeness of Celine Dion singing "My Heart Will Go On" at a Donald Trump / JD Vance campaign… pic.twitter.com/28CYLFvgER
— Celine Dion (@celinedion) August 10, 2024

we got fuckin' septuagenarians nuking him from orbit. https://t.co/HYbmHon2Ta
— Peter Twinklage 🥥🌴 (@PeterTwinklage) August 11, 2024

First, Trump was the victim of an "assassination attempt." When no one cared about that, his campaign was targeted by a "foreign hacker." When I say Trump has absolutely nothing to offer, this is what I'm talking about. Just cheap ploys to retake the media's attention.
— Andrew—Author of America Rises On Substack (@AmoneyResists) August 10, 2024

lol https://t.co/OpbIeDvq0S pic.twitter.com/jjNKlIuw0Z
— Rob DenBleyker (@RobDenBleyker) August 10, 2024

So Trump's team is furious that Kamala Harris is supporting their "no taxes on tips" idea, so they put out a statement from the Culinary Union saying it supports Trump. Except it doesn't say that. And in fact, the Culinary Union has endorsed Harris/Walz for President. LMAOOO pic.twitter.com/RVAQ9bBqMV
— Andrew—Author of America Rises On Substack (@AmoneyResists) August 11, 2024

The right has become even more confusing pic.twitter.com/7qD1lK2gH6
— Read No Shortcuts (@JoshuaPHilll) August 10, 2024

Jordan Peterson is a stupid incel's version of a smart person. https://t.co/SREpklze6M
— Tim Wise (@timjacobwise) August 10, 2024

the name "Musk" comes from the english word "musk" meaning a very stinky and bad smell https://t.co/KYHo1wjWjn
— taytay 👁️ (@notdottay) August 10, 2024

even god himself is getting in on brat summer https://t.co/5OfXXdpW9F
— corb (@awshuqs) August 11, 2024

I hope she sues your ass. https://t.co/8wVpRz0Kae
— putasinghonit (@putasinghonit) August 10, 2024

The whole point of the relay is to successfully pass the baton?? It's literally a key component of the event?

It's like saying "the only reason the USA won in basketball is because Serbia didn't make baskets" like yeah those are the rules 😂 https://t.co/yDI6OReeXm
— chelsea leite (@chelsealeite) August 10, 2024

Baby I'd be on Duolingo learning Portuguese before we left the building… https://t.co/y6vubYjQAj
— Nick Fury (@WritingTheWrong) August 10, 2024

There is no explanation to what is happening in this picture 😭😭

BRON IN THE BACK IS KILLING ME pic.twitter.com/H36UclbLko
— Big Boss 🇵🇸 ➡️ PAX West (@LordBalvin) August 10, 2024

Steph Marbury with the play-by-play and video from his court-side seat pic.twitter.com/ksaYIV7WbI
— Tommy Beer (@TommyBeer) August 10, 2024

Perfect tweet. I would say a solid 20% of professional comedians lack this level of self-awareness. https://t.co/P1asap3mLX
— Josh Gondelman (@joshgondelman) August 10, 2024

Going from Olympic basketball to taking an hour to finish the last two minutes of a game is going to be rough https://t.co/N0aIFua3YA
— Gifdsports (@gifdsports) August 10, 2024

https://t.co/rPKtjhNSFk pic.twitter.com/qd9rjNq15A
— Ziggy (@ZiggyOfAk) August 11, 2024

"Sports unite people!" and it's been 3 weeks of racism, transphobia, and xenophobia
— taraji p henchmen (@theeluvvbelow) August 10, 2024

August 11

I love the togetherness of the Olympics. Whatever our differences, we can all bind together to watch THIS CONTENT NOT AVAILABLE IN YOUR REGION. Who could forget the race for gold in THIS VIDEO HAS BEEN REMOVED IN RESPONSE TO A REPORT FROM THE COPYRIGHT HOLDER
— Mike Bird (@Birdyword) August 12, 2024

Me ripping the irrational patriotism off my body now that the Olympics are over pic.twitter.com/QN1VcHoCWm
— Big Boss 🇵🇸 ➡️ PAX West (@LordBalvin) August 11, 2024

or what https://t.co/XS3x0U9F5s
— Matt Ellentuck (@mellentuck) August 11, 2024

love it that france finally has their answer to "freedom fries" https://t.co/aFlbhlhBSK
— ben schwartz (@benschwartz_) August 11, 2024

Already had 2 friends text "dibs on your couch" like please, bidding will open in 2027 at a sensible $1000 a night https://t.co/ArRXg3fw2o
— Michael Benjamin (@mfbenji) August 12, 2024

Bold to assume there will be an LA in 2028!
— Kristin Chirico (@KristinChirico) August 11, 2024

France: "This was nice let's do some art and some weird stuff to close the show and it'll be nice"

America: "STAR SPANGLED BANNER. TOM CRUISE. GUITARS. MOTORBIKES. RED HOT CHILLI PEPPERS"
— TechnicallyRon (On all the platforms) (@TechnicallyRon) August 11, 2024

The garlic in my shopping trolley #ClosingCeremony pic.twitter.com/q8iTgNXoFq
— SHANE REACTION (@imshanereaction) August 11, 2024

So the breakdance lady from Austria(lia?) was doing a social experiment talking about yt access to breaking and social hierarchy, etc.

She wrote a paper about it, somehow she made it through to the Olympics with all her nonsense.

Which shows that she was playing in our faces.
— Keisha TK Dutes (@TastyKeish) August 11, 2024

I love the Raygun discourse. It has everything: Olympics memes, white people being cringe, cultural appropriation in academia, the complex history of race in a country I don't know much about, goofy outfits, relatively low stakes
— ella dawson (@brosandprose) August 11, 2024

hard to go back to regular tv after two weeks of the olympics. "ooo look at me i'm a prestige hbo show" you don't even demonstrate one single feat of strength and agility for your country
— katie (@katefeetie) August 11, 2024

'Saturday Night Live' (1984)
Synchronized Swimming

"You're not angry at him. You're just pointing at him."pic.twitter.com/bR5pyrzgJt
— 120 Revisited (@120Revisited) August 11, 2024

🏆 https://t.co/cGAA85WWdt pic.twitter.com/5sWRNEnx3O
— MenchOsint (@MenchOsint) August 11, 2024

This man won a gold medal and a championship and he's still a miserable loser somehow. https://t.co/J65iDFpyxs
— Mike Vigil (@protectedpick) August 12, 2024

So sad. Everyone lost in their phones. No one living in the moment https://t.co/85cmRQORsx
— evan loves worf (@esjesjesj) August 12, 2024

Just take those old records off the shelf / Set them over by the boxes of books / I'm Bob Seger, you are helping me move
— Sean Thomason (@TheThomason) August 11, 2024

Just tried to put on my seatbelt when I sat down at the movie theater and for 1 moment genuinely nothing made sense
— audrey farnsworth (@audipenny) August 12, 2024

I try to ask my child questions instead of directly telling him things. I guess he's picked up on it because yesterday a little voice from the back asked me "mama, what is the speed limit here?" and when I failed to take action he followed up patiently, "is 68 bigger than 65?"
— Adriana Porter Felt (@__apf__) August 12, 2024

I just got a text from my daughter asking if the clothes I washed for her this morning are still in the washing machine. I'm on the beach. She's in the house. The same house as the washing machine. My daughter is 24 🤷‍♀️
— Michelle (@Meeshlwills) August 11, 2024

Great headline, managed to get all of the necessary info in there. pic.twitter.com/iFSd25UoQB
— Vince Mancini (@VinceMancini) August 11, 2024

considering the CBC was created in 1936, this "healthy broadcast system" brian is talking about was apparently operated by post-world war one carrier pigeons https://t.co/1PGjOgFMrW
— Clare Blackwood (@clareblackwood) August 12, 2024

She's attempting to seduce JD Vance by dressing like a couch. https://t.co/PeqWiDkCJX
— Tater Magoo-ish (@PlantRobinson) August 11, 2024

Yo, @JDVance you look slay mama.
What's your drag name? Sofa Loren? pic.twitter.com/krIg5lnHKx
— Plastic Martyr (@plasticmartyr) August 11, 2024

Saw somebody refer to JD as "Sofa Loren," and someone else called him "Ashley Furniture," and now I'm as deceased as his career. pic.twitter.com/kerG8WsvGk
— Jay Templin (@TemplinJay) August 12, 2024

YOU GUYS pic.twitter.com/KRSn3VUSV6
— Laurie Kilmartin (@anylaurie16) August 12, 2024

I could give you a thousand tries and you'd never guess the first question they ask about this book pic.twitter.com/mXtXk4F7hI
— Kristi Yamaguccimane (@TheWapplehouse) August 11, 2024

https://t.co/KgA7YqkvLo pic.twitter.com/K1AWEcM6YW
— Frank Garcia-Hejl (@frankgarciahejl) August 12, 2024

My sister got me this ridiculous kitchen sponge holder 😂 pic.twitter.com/dHG5M8jSwo
— Roly West (@RolyWestYT) August 11, 2024

August 12

her follow up is even funnier! https://t.co/CxZqTwFLDQ pic.twitter.com/jHVeMhp86q
— Jeff Burnett (@burnettski92) August 13, 2024

Fallon's ability to make even the funniest things on earth seem quite boring is unmatched. https://t.co/dZBwz2RLD7
— Matt Bevan (@MatthewBevan) August 13, 2024

Can't stop thinking about the U.S Olympic athletes who said instead of going to Disneyland they were going to see a dentist in France for free because the U.S is the only major country on earth that does not guarantee healthcare for all as a fundamental human right.
— Warren Gunnels (@GunnelsWarren) August 12, 2024

TOP 5 WORST PREHISTORIC BANDS:

5. Stoney Dan
4. Crowded Cave
3. Dinosaur Sr.
2. TIE: Arcade Pile of Wood / Sabre-Tooth Le Tigre
1. Mesopotamia Impala
— Dave Merritt (@GoldenSeals) August 12, 2024

Went to my buddy's house and he thought this absolute monster was gonna slip by without further inquiry pic.twitter.com/1erZU8Ifrb
— Dan Sheehan (@ItsDanSheehan) August 12, 2024

NO AND IF YOU DO THATS CRAZY https://t.co/fReXyVXNru
— ashley ray🍦stream ice cream money (@theashleyray) August 12, 2024

The person who decided that Microsoft Office would be a subscription is going to such a deep part of hell that the devil only yells down there.
— Brown Butter Evangelist 🍉 (@krysilove) August 12, 2024

To the lady in the black BMW who stuck up two fingers at me after I beeped at her when pulling out of Waitrose car park just now:

Your Louis Vuitton handbag probably isn't on your car roof anymore.
— Julie (@julhat) August 12, 2024

never forget https://t.co/n6YDnNoUbG pic.twitter.com/ReagLynEyK
— kate bush's husband (@airbagged) August 13, 2024

strategically only asking the people who are still alive pic.twitter.com/Arb9smTuyT
— slate (@PleaseBeGneiss) August 12, 2024

The hour draws nigh pic.twitter.com/kt5LCpRYr2
— gil duran (@gilduran76) August 12, 2024

The person who writes these is the Dorothy Parker of PR, tonal perfection https://t.co/MDizY0GYLt
— Emily Nussbaum (@emilynussbaum) August 13, 2024

I like that the election has mainstreamed one of the classic "Hulk Hogan is horrible" stories that previously only wrestling nerds knew about https://t.co/ezvfVJaznk
— Henry Gilbert (@hEnereyG) August 12, 2024

Bleach Blonde Bad Built Butch Body. https://t.co/jstMrCVoo0
— 🪷 Madam Auntie VP Kamala Harris for PRESIDENT! (@flywithkamala) August 12, 2024

August 13

Larry Tesler, inventor of the cut, copy and paste commands, dies at 74. https://t.co/JrNUsyGaY0
— Andrew Donaldson (@four4thefire) August 14, 2024

Yeah it's called Popstar. https://t.co/PQCAlIR0Sp
— CarterNixon (@CarterNixon) August 13, 2024

This is becoming a 30 Rock running joke that culminates in Jenna Maroney causing an oil spill https://t.co/SNxK2AAaJS
— Ross W Berman IV (Philosopher Pirate) (@RossWBermanIV) August 13, 2024

The powerful and solemn character Lorne Michaels—as depicted in the film Saturday Night—should join the MCU.
— Michael Balazo is at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival (@mbalazo) August 13, 2024

I often say no problem when yes problem.
— L (@Ann_Hedonia1) August 13, 2024

growing up there was a cody in every elementary school class but as an adult i haven't met a cody in years. where did they go
— campbell g (@rodeoman) August 13, 2024

he's come such a long way https://t.co/2ARYVMEK1B pic.twitter.com/FUWpmU0MQk
— Adam London (@_adamlondon) August 13, 2024

Calling Royce White a "former NBA star" is certainly a choice.

For context, Royce White, Donald Trump, and Joe Biden all have the same number of career points in the NBA. https://t.co/qYhAm5vR26
— Mitch Howe (@RealMitchHowe) August 14, 2024

imagine saying "people have gone too far" when this is your Wikipedia page: https://t.co/P1hczZmFUj pic.twitter.com/k638negFQD
— siggy stardust (@signe_blake) August 13, 2024

Hands down one of the funniest TikTok's 😭 https://t.co/rFUmvtgvo4 pic.twitter.com/VcKEvzYX0H
— 𝚛𝚒𝚊𝚗. (@ratedRIAN) August 13, 2024

all time favorite https://t.co/bDHZ8t5Sh3 pic.twitter.com/0Rmrx70sdI
— hugeasmammoth.films (@hugeasmammoth_) August 13, 2024

pic.twitter.com/JLTpOHZeSE https://t.co/T4urTCeDzd
— Fiona Small (@FionaSmall) August 13, 2024

No one has ever topped her, I fear https://t.co/MetreuRwZf pic.twitter.com/0xISHlmfW5
— Vaneet Mehta (@nintendomad888) August 13, 2024

This is what twitter feels like https://t.co/sMUtMukNao
— naomi (@lachancenaomi27) August 14, 2024

dying at the fucking horse https://t.co/1GLecFtvgB
— i can be your long lost pal (@PallaviGunalan) August 14, 2024

me third wheeling my couple friends https://t.co/1GLecFsXr3
— i can be your long lost pal (@PallaviGunalan) August 14, 2024

How your email finds me: https://t.co/voeS3Oulad pic.twitter.com/dIR0tyY62F
— Jenna Anderson (@heyitsjennalynn) August 14, 2024

Coffee shops that open at 8AM: pic.twitter.com/PBrDQQk4f4
— Paul Phillips (@BlueFlameBlues) August 13, 2024

🎶...we didn't start the fire🎵 pic.twitter.com/hxRN5rv67w
— Pete 🤬 (@Sarf_London) August 13, 2024

Dr Raygun has achieved a feat absolutely unheard of in academia - people are reading her thesis
— Patrick Lenton (@PatrickLenton) August 14, 2024

(extremely trying to get on the jury)
Oh interesting I've never heard of these two. https://t.co/xFRQ1wqTWt
— Mike Scollins (@mikescollins) August 14, 2024

JK Rowling: "What do we do?"

The mold in her home: https://t.co/TXt35AqCKj pic.twitter.com/MzTkkkEluT
— Isaac (@GalaxyPeaBrain) August 13, 2024

Can't stop laughing pic.twitter.com/6fcBEGsseC
— Janey Godley (@JaneyGodley) August 14, 2024

August 14

It was funny and we keep laughing at you https://t.co/dBt4K0Oc8V
— Janey Godley (@JaneyGodley) August 14, 2024

The worst part about parallel parking are the witnesses.
— One Ordinary Girl (@audri_em) August 14, 2024

In honor of Gary Larson's birthday, here is my favorite Far Side Comic.

Show me some of your favorites. pic.twitter.com/NrSAvxnPra
— Danny Deraney (@DannyDeraney) August 14, 2024

the children yearn for the mines pic.twitter.com/wdz8utwITx
— horse dentist (@equine__dentist) August 14, 2024

never making a typo again smh pic.twitter.com/bQA9rGCnrH
— limp brittzkit (@Brittymigs) August 15, 2024

TV Writers looking to bolster your resumes: just make up streaming shows that were deleted for a tax break. No one will check and if they do they won't be able to.

Denton, TX (Paramount+)
Sam Beasley & The Golden Raven (Disney+)
Death In A Small Town (Hulu)
Love Bites (Peacock)
— dave horwitz🪣 (@Dave_Horwitz) August 14, 2024

$50k.

The guy was only suing Disney for $50k and legal fees. Instead of Disney taking the relatively small hit, their lawyers tried to get out of it anyway they could, and now it's going to cost them MILLIONS in stock price and lost revenue.

All over $50,000. https://t.co/YJxEeAFcyV
— Larry West (@markskull) August 15, 2024

In America, if you watch an episode of the Mandalorian, they get to kill your wife https://t.co/12NRGWEwq5 pic.twitter.com/UJQe0TmQMR
— Rowby (@RowbyYT) August 14, 2024

disney legally executing me after I called the newest marvel film slop because I didn't read the fine print when I went to disneyland in 1998 https://t.co/1eQ8ZT2diT pic.twitter.com/82TXyyqqEq
— at_Lark (@king_of_limb) August 14, 2024

just rewatched Texas Chainsaw Massacre and it has NOT AGED WELL. First off, murdering people with a chainsaw is literally illegal,
— Drew Landry (@MrDrewLandry) August 14, 2024

i cannot stop watching this pic.twitter.com/JhgmgQVTm6
— david alexander (@DavidADC) August 14, 2024

Few cuts to a wide shot are as funny as this https://t.co/hTIhvy4K2A
— Brooks Otterlake (@i_zzzzzz) August 15, 2024

Raygun is the gift that keeps on giving😂🤣 pic.twitter.com/UFRIX2LWep
— Gummi (@gummibear737) August 14, 2024

This is a gonna be a whole documentary. https://t.co/voib3H8Otj
— Franklin Leonard (@franklinleonard) August 14, 2024

What's up YouTube it's your boy LITTEL HOTBOI pic.twitter.com/C4ApoLYsZ6
— Tyler Stafford (@tylercstafford) August 14, 2024

Spot on. Went into some 'foreign' restaurant the other day and no one was using cutlery. Absolutely disgusting.

McDonald's I think it was called. https://t.co/g32U38D7aI
— Rob B (@RobBfromDerby) August 14, 2024

One of the funniest things I've ever seen. Diabolical. https://t.co/jRYan6chwy pic.twitter.com/Z28T4NFDkT
— Fandango (@YungFandango) August 14, 2024

https://t.co/LBNdKs7wWJ pic.twitter.com/PrllrJd6qt
— Ben Siemon (@BenjaminJS) August 14, 2024

pic.twitter.com/4C7pGOXHo9
— HappyToast★ (@IamHappyToast) August 14, 2024

pic.twitter.com/GsodA8PkdT
— Tom Zohar (@TomZohar) August 14, 2024

https://t.co/Ijqtzc6b6X pic.twitter.com/kpez3kvgxQ
— battles (@B4TTL3S) August 14, 2024

pic.twitter.com/Tf2t4SHWAI
— Jason "Hollywood" Van Glass 骨 (@JasonVanGlass) August 14, 2024

opens up twi- pic.twitter.com/dsqthiX90O
— Dave Itzkoff (@ditzkoff) August 14, 2024

https://t.co/mu6kx5PVej pic.twitter.com/UsTpydyPtB
— Thomas🔜 Gamescom (@Poonikinz) August 14, 2024

I was an extra on this film, so starstruck to have worked with this incredible performer https://t.co/GfQ5tj0s6z pic.twitter.com/FoH51NHbpv
— A (@SheisOkay__) August 14, 2024

As many poor decisions as Musk has made while in charge of Twitter, the Grok image generator almost makes up for it pic.twitter.com/cG7EPy8s3c
— Swann Marcus (@SwannMarcus89) August 15, 2024

This is still the only TikTok I have saved on my phone and haven't deleted https://t.co/5Hdi9GjeLB pic.twitter.com/4Zns2fGGhB
— Jacob Throneberry (@jtberry97) August 14, 2024

I will probably regret this but can you please look at the board member next to Vance at AppHarvest in 2020. pic.twitter.com/qJd5LpQc4q
— Jacqueline Sweet (@JSweetLI) August 14, 2024

This is the kinda stat Troy Aikman tells Joe Buck on Monday Night Football before the kicker shanks it wide left for the first time in his career to lose the game https://t.co/b2qm3IDc5o
— Brandon Streussnig (@BrndnStrssng) August 15, 2024

I'm sorry but I can't get over this. pic.twitter.com/0dmrQbuIhQ
— Liam McIntosh (He/Him) 🇵🇸 (@LiamMcI1996) August 14, 2024

Can you fucking computer nerds do something useful and erase everyone's debts???? https://t.co/lPQeDoIKSF
— carne comunitaria (@aguatheejamaica) August 14, 2024

"They have your social security number!!!!" And? Who cares. So does every job I've ever worked and they've stolen far more from me than any hacker ever could.
— chunky fila (@chunkyfila) August 14, 2024

are YOU the next person to be investigated by the French authorities? pic.twitter.com/VTP6a36puc
— Sinéad (@sineadnaoimh) August 14, 2024

BREAKING: JK Rowling finally broke her silence pic.twitter.com/f0NT7MaAbG
— 679 Enthusiast (@marionumber4) August 14, 2024

August 15

pic.twitter.com/QBmby3aMtc
— Comrade Sisko 🖖🏾✊🏿 (@Pinko69420) August 15, 2024

a white woman cried. https://t.co/GACnDwQjgJ
— in charge of the girls (@AmeriKraut) August 15, 2024

You ever dance so bad that you get criminally investigated https://t.co/06d5qQuiJ2
— Nandre (@Nan_dre_) August 15, 2024

trump was one of the 5 best posters of all time and now that he's associating with elon he's posting cringe. he really is the kiss of death man https://t.co/VWjE0uGaOA
— Turn (@CousinTurn) August 15, 2024

pic.twitter.com/o3L2HeDQzk
— bfa agonistes (@superloafcat) August 15, 2024

nobody will remember:
- your salary
- how "busy you were"
- how many hours you worked

people will remember:
- if you hopped on a quick call
- when you hopped on a quick call
- how many quick calls you hopped on
- how you made them feel when you hopped on a quick call
— James Hawkins (@james406) August 15, 2024

This made me think he was hosting SNL. https://t.co/7EjzTSo2nI
— Alex Baze (@bazecraze) August 15, 2024

I think this image is real. Mario from Nintendo loves to smoke and drink. This will make me less likely to buy Mario products in the future https://t.co/px4BolJTJT
— the federalist stinks!!!! (@rajandelman) August 15, 2024

nah you getting sued buddy pic.twitter.com/rRrzZ4CM1h
— Desus MF Nice💯 (@desusnice) August 15, 2024

This is the best example of; "All" brown people look alike to them. 👇🏾 pic.twitter.com/ActJzmofE4
— Kenny Akers (@KeneAkers) August 15, 2024

He's weird. JD Vance poses with three high school girls in a boys restroom as they pretend to use the urinals. pic.twitter.com/JPEZGGftxk
— Mike Sington (@MikeSington) August 15, 2024

Now that Barron is an adult, stories are starting to come out that he tortures and kills animals, and slaps teachers. I knew that kid was giving Damien energy.

Watch this space pic.twitter.com/pcBE889jlb
— Modern Man (@tooronlists) August 15, 2024

Not getting price gouged is communism pic.twitter.com/nErPw1SijG
— evan loves worf (@esjesjesj) August 15, 2024

How fickle we are. pic.twitter.com/HkNhQGDnjV
— Captain Howdy (@MajorPazuzu) August 15, 2024

This Funny Week in Funny Tweets: August 16, 2024

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