Thanks for stopping by the planet, Joe, good luck with that Scott Moe, SPACEBALLS III: THE SEARCH FOR SPACEBALLS II, I don't think you've ever seen this show, and much more from this week in funny tweets.

March 29

Me after I hit the "End Meeting" button and return back to my true form pic.twitter.com/8lLgJtCP1j
— Chloe Condon (@ChloeCondon) March 29, 2024

This is why it's the last thing Citizen Kane says. https://t.co/r03LUrRV0l
— RichNeville (@RichNeville) March 29, 2024

fox exec: we need you to make the scariest song of all time

x-files composer: ok do do do do DO do

fox exec: fuck stop too scary what the fuck
— Ben Rosen (@ben_rosen) March 29, 2024

Happy Easter weekend pic.twitter.com/n3sj5iZP3V
— 🛒 (@tayhader) March 29, 2024

seeing this framed in your first drug dealer's apartment is very important for personal development https://t.co/yq7aJEWHAu
— lil arab (@sweatyhairy) March 29, 2024

I really think Pusha T scared Drake into not responding directly to anyone. That ass kicking changed him. Now, it will only ever be IG captions, sassy words on stage, and weak subliminals.
— Cawb. (@CAWBBBB) March 30, 2024

Every time we have an eclipse, I hear someone say, "This won't happen again for another 150 years," but then the shit happens every year and a half.
— Jason, ex Inferis (@benedictsred) March 30, 2024

This you? https://t.co/jpi8dMlqZN pic.twitter.com/hg3UfHxapA
— chris evans (@notcapnamerica) March 29, 2024

This is the kind of pro-transit energy we're bringing in 2024 🚆 pic.twitter.com/fgfnrcDeaY
— TheOmniZaddy 🌹🔰🏗 (@TheOmniZaddy) March 30, 2024

At a job it takes me 2 or 3 years to become curious about what the company does
— 𝗮𝗻𝗱𝘆 𝘃𝗮𝗻 𝘀𝗹𝘆𝗸𝗲 (@im_all_id) March 29, 2024

Good Friday lifestyle pic.twitter.com/XD6URPpyD6
— Michael A. Balazo (@mbalazo) March 29, 2024

March 30

RIP 😢 kiss from a rose on repeat all day 🌹 https://t.co/G6Cl6mKBRg
— Dean Coughlin (@deancoughlin_) March 30, 2024

*to the tune of We Didn't Start the Fire* pic.twitter.com/S6sLiWfAcL
— Kane Brough (@KanesTheName) March 31, 2024

We all dealt with 9/11 in our own ways pic.twitter.com/WLydjbrXa0
— Chase Mitchell (@ChaseMit) March 30, 2024

Probably one of my fave movie jokes pic.twitter.com/SIj38LDY2O
— Billy Jarrett (@billyjarrettugh) March 30, 2024

The ball dropping behind him two seconds after he flips over the railing is taking me OUT https://t.co/J6VdrvHdlu
— Laura Albanese (@AlbaneseLaura) March 30, 2024

LMAOOO whattttt pic.twitter.com/zPFfodWkwX
— Hotboxing in Cerebro (@Ferd_Turgeson) March 30, 2024

Used to think I was rich growing up because my dad had one of those cars that he needed to use his breath to start the engine
— Riley Collins (@rileycollins__) March 30, 2024

um… i just realized the sound was off on the baby monitor. so…. https://t.co/pgxwHkdaHk pic.twitter.com/469mlmotd0
— Chele, please! (@_YamSmalls_) March 30, 2024

My thoughts are with Jennifer Garner, whose kids' stepmom was possibly a gun mule for a sex trafficker. Interesting times! https://t.co/DGTHwuKzVh
— Laurie Kilmartin (@anylaurie16) March 30, 2024

Local news ABC 10 did some pretty good reporting on the latest Tim Pool Scandal. Kudos Summer Davis. pic.twitter.com/eHDCTUzrY9
— TERMINAL MODE (@terminal_mode) March 30, 2024

pic.twitter.com/0c0ZBrOiSu
— LePim Triller Moth (@legotrillermoth) March 31, 2024

The last time Larry David stretched out his legs at a basketball game.pic.twitter.com/AsYrVpvgqB https://t.co/wYeKyPvdW5
— Thomas Carrieri (@Thomas_Carrieri) March 30, 2024

Guess I'm a Mets fan now https://t.co/P2e6aU7Coj
— I Think You Should Leave 💦🥩 (@ITYSL_memes) March 30, 2024

pic.twitter.com/B818BOrJwE
— Men For Fielder (@YUNGL0AF) March 31, 2024

(simpsons weezer) what's with these homers lisa bart marge https://t.co/zKeQExLfZj
— rachel calytrix (@rccalytrix) March 30, 2024

It's been March 31st for 10 years, you dumb f*ck. https://t.co/7aOjkC7knl
— A.J. Delgado (@AJDelgado13) March 30, 2024

trans day of visibility and easter falling on the same day this year pic.twitter.com/dXd2Iy2a39
— matt (@mattxiv) March 30, 2024

March 31

Everyone reposting the shorter clip from his monologue is doing him a disservice cutting out the full setup & punchline! Ramy is doing serious fuckin comedic highwire at the end finding a way to talk about Palestine and still getting the laugh. This shit takes guts #FreePalestine https://t.co/MhedEfKH0u
— Sean Guezen (@sguezen) March 31, 2024

Whoever can remove this tape measure from the stone shall be granted the divine right to rule. pic.twitter.com/TIQWVgUaAM
— Stone Cold Jane Austen (@AbbyHiggs) March 31, 2024

Larry stole shoes that belonged to Holocaust victims from the Holocaust museum to walk in the rain I don't think you've ever seen this show top to bottom. https://t.co/dokX9wiKbI
— 🔥 🏠 with a Y 🏠 🔥 (@wyntermitchell) April 1, 2024

They consulted the industry professional https://t.co/NTsiXmhPai
— ndevuzithintamankomitsho (@Tjenisani) April 1, 2024

This is really incredible to watch. Bowie on Soul Train. He's clearly on 10,000mg of pure 1970's CIA cocaine pic.twitter.com/rvhuY81bfC
— Claire Penis (@ZeroSuitCamus) March 31, 2024

Was listening to classic rock and my son asked me to turn off the "truck commercial music"
— octopus/caveman (@octopuscaveman) March 31, 2024

My trans little brother is such a fucking asshole LMAO pic.twitter.com/gdB9a7gQZB
— Mel, again (@melzmizzybizzy) March 31, 2024

NYT connections editor: i have a fun little idea 🙂

everyone on the internet: i am going to send you anthrax in the mail
— a (@sensitivfreight) April 1, 2024

pic.twitter.com/zBOpVVb1d3
— Kristi Yamaguccimane (@TheWapplehouse) March 31, 2024

This is a ballsack https://t.co/vtads4M1om
— KENTUCKY PAPI 🌾 (@kentucky_papi) April 1, 2024

Spent the day stocking up on canned goods and bottled water. Got out all the candles and flashlights. Topped up the tank on the generator. Said my goodbyes to beloved family and friends. So I think I'm as ready as I'll ever be for gas prices to go up 3 cents a litre tomorrow.
— Barney Panofsky's Best Intentions (@mynamesnotgordy) April 1, 2024

They're protesting the federal carbon tax in a province (BC) where it doesn't apply.

Fill your boots, folks. https://t.co/xn2FxlFzOs
— Max Fawcett 🇨🇦 (@maxfawcett) April 1, 2024

I hate how much I love this show and how impossible it is to recommend to anyone https://t.co/1WRR8owkxq
— Liam (@stevenseagal774) April 1, 2024

Replace the All Star Game with a game of HORSE between Luka and Steph. pic.twitter.com/JEKQRNO9PO
— Jason Gallagher (@jga41agher) March 31, 2024

? pic.twitter.com/m0niHQHu5x
— Rob Perez (@WorldWideWob) April 1, 2024

Some YouTube reactions to Luka's 20ft finger roll. pic.twitter.com/Xzwfn96lZQ
— Enyi Nduka (@enyinduka) April 1, 2024

are you hungry babe, we can go to either Pizaa Het or pic.twitter.com/wp0Y8VMr5m
— howdy howdy howdy (@AnthraxJones) April 1, 2024

celebrating easter by getting nailed
— tanya (@Tanya_Sabrinaaa) March 31, 2024

You thought this was a rabbit???? pic.twitter.com/CXzgKxDCTf
— Ms. Labonz (@julietabbouli) March 31, 2024

April 1

a second person has bought a zoo https://t.co/iEmoFGMa4d pic.twitter.com/Y7abUZjDC9
— zach silberberg (@zachsilberberg) April 2, 2024

paul mccartney beckons the t-shirt cannon pic.twitter.com/cYqOGOPpgK
— crowjonah (@crowjonah) April 2, 2024

She's not a prodigy. She's rich and has unlimited time to do whatever she wants lol. Lots of us would be Uber talented if we wasn't killing ourselves at a 9 to 5 everyday for someone else's benefit. https://t.co/RBOoJeVItg
— A Haintological Negro 🪮 (@haintological) April 1, 2024

NYC on April 1st: your rent is 6000 and the trains don't work haha.
NYC every other day: some trains work.
— Alex Baze (@bazecraze) April 1, 2024

Eye doctor: how many hours per day do you spend working at the computer?

Me: one or two

Doctor: that's great! Most of my clients are at their computers all day

Me: oh, I'm on my computer 14 hours a day. But very few working.
— Ginny Hogan (@ginnyhogan_) April 1, 2024

Jesus was born to a virgin, walked on water, and rose from the dead? Now THAT'S an Impossible Burger.

Dirt Nap is now available to watch, own, and share from the @800pgm website. Order you copy at link in bio. https://t.co/sIPbE70kG4 @800pgm @800PGNews @AcmeComedyCo pic.twitter.com/LJHlQEqOu6
— Kyle Kinane (@kylekinane) April 1, 2024

I believe this is called grooming https://t.co/3PtpRqmyJJ
— Jiggly News (@JigglyPants44) April 1, 2024

I would take a carbon tax affordability protest more seriously if everyone didn't show up in $100,000 RV's and $80,000 trucks.

Roll up in a 1980's rusted out Caprice Classic and I might listen to your plight.
— VisuallyBetter (@Isuckatpicking) April 1, 2024

Oh no. Don't RT and tag Danielle Smith hundreds of times, whatever you do. 😂 pic.twitter.com/akjiFecRcr
— Dean Blundell🇨🇦 (@ItsDeanBlundell) April 1, 2024

Are these the same people who object to Pride parades or https://t.co/2S9vD4sSnI
— Bruce Arthur (@bruce_arthur) April 2, 2024

Yeah I'm good to drive I just can't get pulled over
— CoKane (@KanesCabDriv3r) April 1, 2024

genuinely concerned for my guy here pic.twitter.com/AjbY3KVRTa
— Bill Ari (@ImBillRay) April 1, 2024

Kim Mulkey drew up a better defense for the Washington Post than she did for Caitlin Clark
— cbr™️ (@cbenjaminrucker) April 2, 2024

He's talking about touching a woman consensually https://t.co/DdsWXUxjI6
— mir.i.am (@jewbyboobie) April 2, 2024

April 2

💔💔💔 pic.twitter.com/nxr5joz8dA
— Yo La Tengo (@TheRealYLT) April 2, 2024

I've spent the entire afternoon watching and reposting clips of Joe Flaherty. It's strange to be made so sad while laughing so much. Thanks for stopping by the planet Joe.
— Dave Foley (@DaveSFoley) April 2, 2024

No one could have played the role of Donald like Joe Flaherty did. His comedic delivery was perfect and his role alone made Happy Gilmore the classic it is today. He will be missed. Rest easy Joe pic.twitter.com/npdVOjQFpp
— Shooter McGavin (@ShooterMcGavin_) April 2, 2024

One of the most mercilessly funny things about the SCTV universe was that Count Floyd, of course, was costumed SCTV news anchor Floyd Camembert, forced into the role by the budget-strapped channel, affronting his dignity to the extent it pushed him off the wagon.
— Glenn Kenny (@Glenn__Kenny) April 2, 2024

I have never seen less "who, what, where, when, why" in a headline https://t.co/t2VrgodkWt
— Rebecca Pierce (@aptly_engineerd) April 2, 2024

Trudeau Government: We are gonna start a national school food program, please be chill about this

Canadian Twitter: Best we can do is accuse you of creating a lunch-based fascist police state
— Clare Blackwood (@clareblackwood) April 2, 2024

Noam Chomsky is a crazy name like you sound hungry as fuck
— laila (@surroundedheads) April 2, 2024

David Letterman looks like he's taking John Mulaney on as a Jedi apprentice pic.twitter.com/C6WQablBB0
— Tom Reagan's Hat (@RufusTSuperfly) April 2, 2024

Tim Robinson is the funniest man alive. pic.twitter.com/KSWIEtLmKO
— Carmine Laguzio (@carminelaguzio) April 2, 2024

huge day for people whose speech patterns have been irrevocably altered by television https://t.co/AKZ6aSD3Gk
— zach silberberg (@zachsilberberg) April 2, 2024

i think larry david is the only celeb I've found relatable in my life. pic.twitter.com/pypae5evDj
— derek guy (@dieworkwear) April 2, 2024

We know dis is u Devin Booker you ain't slick 😭😭☠️ pic.twitter.com/HG5JKy5nJX
— VeryLively (@DLive_MFFL) April 2, 2024

AI: Actually, Indians pic.twitter.com/x1wU3GVUVn
— Sebastiaan de With (@sdw) April 2, 2024

These guys called it like 5 years ago lmaaaaaaaooooo https://t.co/Id11ys6DuG pic.twitter.com/oaZQXTZtN5
— Pernil Escobar (@BeersWithAndres) April 2, 2024

The turning point in American politics came when Republicans realized they didn't need to be skillful liars — they just needed to be constant liars. The key was quantity, not quality.
— Mark Jacob (@MarkJacob16) April 2, 2024

caitlin clark is half italian so you know kim mulkey is walking around her kitchen this morning using slurs that haven't been heard since they shut down ellis island.
— not matt (@PanasonicDX4500) April 2, 2024

When you're a teacher on Twitter, you just can't do anything right. 😅 #OntEd pic.twitter.com/fqQ5Vwywkz
— Jason Bradshaw 🇨🇦🇧🇧 (@JBradshaw01) April 2, 2024

Can someone tell me if the cost of living ever comes back down or do costs just keep rising? Like I'm trying to understand what happens when most ppl can no longer afford to contribute to society in a very noticeable way?
— Pariss Athena | Founder of Black Tech Pipeline (@ParissAthena) April 2, 2024

You know who prob loves all this the most?
Oil companies.
All the attention is on the tax, not their profits.
— Meg (@nut_meggy) April 2, 2024

https://t.co/VEJhXb7Ybn pic.twitter.com/P26MjXG4cY
— Janie Danger (@Wifesucker) April 2, 2024

https://t.co/HL3Wli9G7Q pic.twitter.com/7wmzTpBCNt
— hannah (@dogfanhan) April 2, 2024

You could sit that guy on the Jedi Council and I wouldn't blink an eye https://t.co/7pF4kugEW6
— Mikaela (@FridayInHalifax) April 2, 2024

My friend was screen recording something for work and my text ruined it lol pic.twitter.com/iIMHkQ8a2o
— sleepiest girl in the whole wide world (@v_dcknz) April 2, 2024

My most millennial trait is big purchases must happen in big laptop screen https://t.co/QjVPmMIIF7
— II HANDS II HEAVEN II FURIOUS (@JCov1) April 2, 2024

It's cute when kids say what they want to be when they grow up. You're gonna write emails on the computer buddy
— Borscht the T is silent (@InternetHippo) April 3, 2024

April 3

https://t.co/MPQPJxjPQk pic.twitter.com/v41PCjt7oL
— c ✨ (@marxiners) April 4, 2024

A great thread of someone discovering Fleetwood Mac, so here's an excuse to post the best Fleetwood Mac joke that's ever been put to screen. https://t.co/dgV8LN0liJ pic.twitter.com/U6csD22CsM
— Andrew Fox-McKay (@DigitalSneeze) April 3, 2024

True Story.

My conservative buddy in Alberta.

Smokes a pack a day , loves the beers, new F350 with a hell of a lift, 2 sleds, dirtbike, 5th wheel, loves a little bugger sugar every now and again, casino weekly.

Blames Trudeau and the carbon tax for being broke🤷‍♂️

Berta
— CaptainCoby (@Captaincoby00) April 3, 2024

Why a H5N1 pandemic could go really badly. pic.twitter.com/URXuP2Cwsz
— Michael Olesen 💉😷🇺🇸🇺🇦 (@maolesen) April 4, 2024

It was shot on location, on the Planet of the Apes. How did they even get there? Wait. Oh my god. OH MY GOD https://t.co/nQ7tlybWIA
— evan (@esjesjesj) April 3, 2024

I have so much distrust for people who are "good at business" because 99 out of 100 business innovations are like: "Company announces revolutionary plan to charge customers more and pay workers less!" https://t.co/azZGQFC28l
— Josh Gondelman (@joshgondelman) April 3, 2024

https://t.co/Xr4lVNXAtd pic.twitter.com/Eg1sHVssDb
— rhymes with "the hermit of mink hollow" (@abs_sweetmarie) April 3, 2024

i say this a lot but it's crazy how some humans can have such smart engineering minds to come up with this shit to make skyscrapers withstand earthquakes while some humans think the earth is flat and that vaccines cause autism just based off vibes https://t.co/a09fMdtygn
— ethan (@ethanshumjr) April 4, 2024

Imagine a world in which the convoy clowns would just STFU for three minutes and listen to this. And try to understand. That would be a productive world in which to live. https://t.co/g81YG97fYo
— Damien Cox (@DamoSpin) April 3, 2024

Weird how nobody blockaded highways demanding Galen Weston quit price gouging us.

Or asking Big Oil to rebate some of their massive profits back to consumers.

Or for real estate speculators like PP not to profit from the stressed out housing market.

But $0.03 is the red line.
— Dean from Winnipeg (@Dean_Winnipeg) April 3, 2024

i'm still so sad that she blocked me. bumping your "i'm quitting twitter" post 3 days later because it didn't get enough views is so good. pic.twitter.com/1xC1JwD54z
— jos (@josiahhughes) April 3, 2024

you look like you've been embalmed https://t.co/G2oRGr8KWc
— dij (@DijahSB) April 4, 2024

This Kirsten Dunst press tour has given us some all-timers pic.twitter.com/m44cohk0EX
— Rafa Sales Ross (@rafiews) April 3, 2024

kirsten dunst blowing the average hollywood mind by simply having common sense is my favorite thing pic.twitter.com/Y7YOJLopQx https://t.co/IRxMfG6XWM
— rocky (@WAYSTIAR) April 3, 2024

I asked my husband if he's ever seen the movie girl interrupted and he said yes I think so, Cristina Aguilera is in that right? and began to describe Cristina Aguilera in the moulin rouge music video from 2001
— rachel (@seasonal_menu) April 3, 2024

April 4

people on twitter: backshots in a sundress with no panties on season almost here

people in real life: hey man how's it going
— abby govindan (@abbygov) April 4, 2024

when there's a rich guy in the front row pic.twitter.com/scpUuYDLst
— Matt O'Brien (@matt_obrien) April 4, 2024

is this from mar-a-lago or the overlook pic.twitter.com/Q6CJw6KCmw
— ben schwartz (@benschwartz_) April 5, 2024

i generally don't like being mean about peoples appearences but i'm genuinely stunned that this kid looks like a 60 year old man wearing someone elses skin that he skinned himself https://t.co/1yhLkg6jvl
— beer person (@CantEverDie) April 4, 2024

https://t.co/raUaMv54yv pic.twitter.com/7zZDDfKqBK
— paige (@BonerWizard) April 4, 2024

So... Moe is implementing... his own carbon tax.

With no rebates.

A bold strategy, let's see how it pays off for him.

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL #skpoli #cdnpoli https://t.co/aDsxqfQgCq
— David Brown (@OrbitStudios) April 4, 2024

Conservatives: Axe The Tax

Scott Moe: No, we're just axing the rebate.
— Roddy 🇨🇦 (@RodKahx) April 4, 2024

It's good to return your shopping cart to its proper place at the store
Quote tweet: Y'all really doing free labor for a corporation
QT of QT: It only makes a low wage employee's life harder
Reply: Some low wage employees are racist but ok?
— Borscht the T is silent (@InternetHippo) April 4, 2024

Lmfao the guy in the CT broke both his legs and the lady in the Sentra walked away unscathed because responsible auto manufacturers make it so that the car takes the brunt of the damage, not the human inside it.

But hey, glad the Cybertruck is okay or whatever! https://t.co/4NgTrJtzdj
— @alishagrauso.bsky.social (@AlishaGrauso) April 4, 2024

Cool feature with the cybertruck is if it breaks down immediately and you post about it you'll get hundreds of weirdos calling you a liar and even blaming you for the car being delivered with a dusty interior by Tesla pic.twitter.com/zBVASpQbgF
— Wild Geerters (@steinkobbe) April 4, 2024

So apparently I was gifted a verification?

So let me just say this, as an official, verified person: Elon Musk is a fucking Nazi. I mean this literally, he is an actual Nazi in every way and would have marched hand in hand with Hitler. He uses this platform for race politics.
— Existential Comics (find me on bluesky) (@existentialcoms) April 4, 2024

This idiot retweeted a daily show clip that called him a racist pic.twitter.com/XWZnAyK9s8
— evan (@esjesjesj) April 4, 2024

damn that's crazy maybe they could get together with other employees and pool their cash to hire someone to represent their interests collectively somehow pic.twitter.com/ShpkBpSIYY
— Crowsa Luxemburg (@quendergeer) April 4, 2024

have u considered not sending weapons to a guy that needs to be told that airstriking aid workers is wrong ? https://t.co/wVIzm1xOPH
— Hurt CoPain (@SaeedDiCaprio) April 4, 2024

We all know Mel Brooks's SPACEBALLS sequel title was "SPACEBALLS II: THE SEARCH FOR MORE MONEY", but I just read Rick Moranis had pitched him an alternate title/plot, which Brooks turned down, "SPACEBALLS III: THE SEARCH FOR SPACEBALLS II". And dare I say I like it better.
— Todd Spence (@Todd_Spence) April 4, 2024

This Funny Week in Funny Tweets: April 5, 2024

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