SECDEE, Eastern European accentedly, NBC not MBC, you use FLACs not MP3s, and much more from this week in funny tweets.

April 12

Everyday Freud looks up from hell and feels us getting closer to him https://t.co/sqS1dMQyu4
— alice (rebirth spoilers) (@AerithsSeat) April 12, 2024

One of the greatest Hollywood mysteries remains unsolved pic.twitter.com/eKO6LvcMzS
— Jason Pargin, author of John Dies at the End, etc (@JasonKPargin) April 12, 2024

At no point in this video from the Jimmy Buffett tribute at the Hollywood Bowl can you possibly predict who they will show next pic.twitter.com/rXteO7IdKR
— Matt (@MattBerry05) April 12, 2024

lol this was most days in our monologue meetings. You can see why I've been almost clinically depressed since the show went off the air. https://t.co/bdHn8kt4OW
— Laurie Kilmartin (@anylaurie16) April 12, 2024

I've enjoyed seeing the Conan praise on the TL today but the craziest part to me is that if he did nothing else besides write Marge vs. the Monorail he would still be one of the 10 funniest Americans who ever lived
— matthew ellis (@matthiasellis) April 13, 2024

conan o'brien like one of maybe fifteen people you could seriously argue as The Funniest Person Ever. he's in the albert brooks zone
— Porky the Litter Eater (@Boringstein) April 12, 2024

Since this is blowing up, I figured I'd also share my all time favorite sketch/moment from the old late night show pic.twitter.com/kU9GEpit9i
— Velodus (@velodus) April 13, 2024

I feel bad for people who weren't alive to truly get the whole crazy ride that was Conan.

pic.twitter.com/CRCIBaBAq6
— k a r l e e (@KarleeKanz) April 13, 2024

One of my fav Conan moments was his Fan Corrections segment where he made elaborate rejoinders to ppl pointing out pedantic flaws, and one was this to "prove" Lincoln died in the Ford Theater and not the Peterson House. pic.twitter.com/yynj5fgoc9
— Jake Cole (@ThatJakePC) April 13, 2024

-Goes to Hot Ones
-Says he never touched spicy food on his life
-Becomes the Spicy Joker
-Becomes the best guest on the show pic.twitter.com/2VWB7PSBIl
— Akuma (@Akumabat) April 12, 2024

love that Hot Ones is teaching a new online generation that Conan O'Brien is in fact the most inherently funny person to ever live.
— not matt (@PanasonicDX4500) April 12, 2024

pic.twitter.com/8BBA6GWVH4
— Mr. Chau (@Srirachachau) April 12, 2024

I think what confuses people about Conan O'Brien is he looks like he should be funny in one way, but he's actually funny in a different, much better way
— Brandy Jensen (@BrandyLJensen) April 12, 2024

I've been "Florida sober" (haven't done cocaine with Hulk Hogan) for over 90 days.
— Chad Opitz (@chadopitz) April 12, 2024

lol - getting pizza slice and the guy in front of me (trying to banter with the cashier) is like "you made mine with extra love right" and the cashier very solemnly and Eastern European accentedly said "it's made with normal amount pepperoni"
— 🔎Al🔍 (@SweatieAngle) April 12, 2024

Finding out Philly has small statues of its actual sports legends but a 6 foot statue of Rocky, a fake boxer, is very funny to me. https://t.co/qLiuX11FgF
— MKUltraboost (@hashy_larry) April 12, 2024

April 13

LeBron could never https://t.co/lcRDssOhFz
— jxke. 🧸 (@cantguardjake) April 13, 2024

reading the news pic.twitter.com/qtH0lAa754
— Jeremy Kaplowitz (@jeremysmiles) April 13, 2024

gay radiohead: "okayyyyyy computerrrr!!!!!!"
— Im @leftatlondon on other websites too (HINT HINT) (@LeftAtLondon) April 13, 2024

https://t.co/vp1AxwgukX pic.twitter.com/rHQ7IhtDVL
— Kriscrossapplesocks 🗡️🦦 INTERNATIONAL GRUG YEAR (@Pupp3tScarf) April 13, 2024

J Cole is the guy who left the party before a shooting and says "see, I knew the vibes was bad, that's why I left!" 😭
— Oluwajomiloju (@JomiAdeniran) April 14, 2024

kendrick: your best album isn't that great
aubrey: 🫵🏽😂 you have small feet
— ✨ (@BonGucci) April 13, 2024

Drake diss Sixers statue
🤝
can't tell if it's AI
— Jasmine (@JasmineLWatkins) April 13, 2024

I know Pusha T just looking for anything he can misinterpret as a sub directed at him rn so he can jump off the porch n go demonic
— BIG GHOST (@BigGhostLtd) April 13, 2024

Of course he's a white woman https://t.co/yI1SPIFQfV
— General Tso God 🇨🇲🇳🇬🇲🇱 (@I_aint_doit) April 14, 2024

https://t.co/MzsK5BUGVs pic.twitter.com/PxJMBF642E
— 𝕡𝕣𝕚𝕔𝕜𝕝𝕪 𝕡𝕖𝕒𝕣 (@cactus__flower_) April 13, 2024

I've never seen anyone so desperate to be liked and so obviously unlikeable. https://t.co/tjs4bnQb7I
— Ashley Lynch ✂️🎞️ (@ashleylynch) April 14, 2024

I still can't believe Ontario had an internationally recognized public health care system that is being dismantled and privatized so a woefully inept politician can pay his wealthy buddies and everyone is just letting it happen. Canadian passivity is wild.
— JP Larocque🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️ (@jplarocque) April 13, 2024

"When people get smarter, they tend to be less conservative, so we need to stop that". https://t.co/SqW3GMOAjF
— Meg (@nut_meggy) April 14, 2024

It's WWIII and we're the bad guys this time! Awesome!!!
— Will Sloan (@WillSloanEsq) April 13, 2024

good time to recall that Conan O'Brien was considered such a generational comedy prodigy from his SNL and Simpsons writing days that they gave him a network latenight show even though the public had absolutely no idea who he was
— Adam Sternbergh (@sternbergh) April 14, 2024

Since Conan O'Brien clips are trending, here's one of my favorites. From 2011, Conan and Andy did a bit about a viral video of 2 clueless old couples on a webcam. The video of the couples "failed to play", so Andy tried to get it to play on his laptop. pic.twitter.com/YQEDf4N9J0
— Rob Manfred is Blackout Restricted (@AustinKakert) April 13, 2024

Has anyone posted this clip from when Conan replaced the entire audience with children? pic.twitter.com/7Va1Wj8LQd
— Joseph Elliott (@fromthereel) April 13, 2024

"Just play along. Come on, man. TV is a lie. You knew that comin in," followed by Tim Olyphant turning to Andy to say, over applause, "Conan is crazy cool." pic.twitter.com/8cW4jAEfdn
— Vikram Murthi (@fauxbeatpoet) April 13, 2024

If we're still Conan posting, one of my favorite bits was one of his latest, when he had a Hollywood Blockbuster-grade superhero suit made for himself. Reminiscent of Letterman's classic Alka-Seltzer suit bit, he made the silliest thing imaginable the coolest thing in the world pic.twitter.com/fOJpZ4e3yf
— VyceVictus (@VyceVictus) April 14, 2024

I love that Conan O'Brien is getting essentially eulogised when all he did was appear on Hot Ones.

It's completely justified - he is fucking incredible. Here's Harrison Ford actually having fun during a media interview and it's entirely down to Conan being great. pic.twitter.com/ERQ7m9jWej
— Scottish Totodile (@ScottishToto) April 13, 2024

Before YouTube reactors made fun of out-of-context clips, Conan O'Brien had the Walker Stick. This one clip was so good, they had to highlight it separately pic.twitter.com/x08Wqf0ZwR
— gizmo (@DakinMorgan) April 14, 2024

A @croninwhocares classic! https://t.co/OyGHIrc65I
— Laurie Kilmartin (@anylaurie16) April 14, 2024

What if we just never stopped talking about Conan O'Brien on here? Like, get him trending every single day in perpetuity. I think it would be good for our collective mental well being.
— trevor risk (@SunshineSucks) April 13, 2024

April 14

does that man look familiar to you pic.twitter.com/hKQWGtwu4u
— Saturday Night Live - SNL (@nbcsnl) April 14, 2024

Twitter is dumb but it's kinda worth it for when people collectively rediscover something like Conan or Norm or 30 Rock. That part's fun
— Chase Mitchell (@ChaseMit) April 14, 2024

Hey I directed this! I say Conan is canon, and also no one has explained modern media better than Conan frothing at the mouth saying Max changed from HBO because "people found that too popular" https://t.co/vY9rh6QaSR
— Scott Gairdner (@scottgairdner) April 15, 2024

Don't wanna pass on Conan O'Brien posting without sharing my favorite pic.twitter.com/mAqZ1PEd9l
— "Weird" Analingus Yankovic (@patomicbomb) April 14, 2024

i worked for conan once for a few years on the internet video side where i watched 1000000 sketches & this is my absolute favorite out of all of them. i love it dearly. it's like xanax to me. i share it every chance i gethttps://t.co/EF2BltV0GH
— John DeVore (@JohnDeVore) April 15, 2024

Boban intentionally missing a free throw to give Clippers fans free chicken is the craziest thing I've seen all season 😂 pic.twitter.com/Ok9Z5JGdTA
— Bradeaux (@BradeauxNBA) April 15, 2024

Jimmy Butler loves WHAT???? pic.twitter.com/88g2lhmcLK
— G(rįžźGõät)🧣 (@grizzgoatsports) April 14, 2024

"HE GAVE EM CHICKEN! HE'S A MAN OF THE PEOPLE!" is one of the funnier things I've heard an announcer scream https://t.co/5eg8jghEBw
— Brooks Otterlake (@i_zzzzzz) April 15, 2024

rappers beefing about rhinoplasty & fake abs. this is basically the first season of sex and the city
— Desus MF Nice💯 (@desusnice) April 14, 2024

How the fuck are these things legally on the road pic.twitter.com/iqDKDVHpRm
— Eoin Higgins (@EoinHiggins_) April 14, 2024

Libraries should stay libraries and if you want them to be community recreation centers you should just say that you want that instead because those used to exist, too, and were shuttered for the same reason conservatives and neoliberals are trying to defund libraries now.
— holly (@girlziplocked) April 15, 2024

It gets funnier every time I watch it pic.twitter.com/P1rSKFOv5s
— Olivia Nuzzi (@Olivianuzzi) April 15, 2024

Before we stop posting Conan O'Brien clips, here is my favorite bit from the later days. I queue up the entire WikiBear playlist every so often and always laugh. pic.twitter.com/CVcbOITnNL
— Kirk (@kirkbozeman) April 14, 2024

All this talk of Conan lately and there can never be enough talk of how kind and genuine a person he seems. I've always been moved by this interaction. pic.twitter.com/DFZ2vFlmy1
— Artist Formerly Known as Carl Featherbottom (@bigdadydrac1869) April 15, 2024

While we're posting our favorite Conan O'Brien bits.
Here he asked his interns to act out how they might impress people at parties by telling them they work for conan. It's one of my favorites to revisit when i need a laugh pic.twitter.com/UAPV8xM4ZX
— Yakuza Guy @ Infinite Wealth time! (@TheYakuzaGuy) April 15, 2024

Nobody has posted one of my favorite Conan O'Brien clips of him creating a perfect portrayal of US law enforcement pic.twitter.com/5XclhBTkGg
— Matthew (@NEEMOAHTOAD) April 15, 2024

pic.twitter.com/YhLhL1g2Sl
— Eric Hynes (@eshynes) April 14, 2024

April 15

the four best late night hosts pic.twitter.com/qN1KAA77qY
— staid (@staidindoors) April 15, 2024

I'm sure it's been posted, but I haven't seen one of my favorite Late Night clips: Conan and Mr. T go apple picking! pic.twitter.com/5VRuNn7OtK
— Boner Vivant (@Doug_Tilley) April 15, 2024

You might as well sit in the tub with some carrots, onions and potatoes… https://t.co/nMvx7cMPjE
— FOST (@GeorgeFoster72) April 16, 2024

Pro tip, meal prepping is a great way to ensure that you always have food that is cold, a little old, and not what you're in the mood for
— Pamela J. Hobart (@amelapay) April 15, 2024

Every morning, I head down to my P.O. box to pick up the recycling.
— Dave Merritt (@GoldenSeals) April 15, 2024

I'm begging famous comedians to stop talking about cancel culture. It's so fucking boring. Every angle has been covered. You're appealing to the dumbest people in America. It's not good a comedy. It's not good art. If you just want money move into real estate or something
— gianmarco (@GianmarcoSoresi) April 15, 2024

I can assure you that Courtney Love has never and will never have her notifications turned off pic.twitter.com/BMNWQipmdi
— Mike Barthel (@michaelbarthel) April 16, 2024

It must rock so hard being this fucking stupid https://t.co/f4A5wa5Bwb
— Reverend Doctor Bob Sacamano (@RevDocBobSac) April 15, 2024

You: *pronounces Bon Iver as it's written*

Most annoying guy you know, barely able to conceal his delight: what did you just say
— Ross Sayers (@Sayers33) April 15, 2024

"Here's something: Blur played at Coachella, and they were not pleased with the crowd's tepid response. Did you see this, Ed? I mean, come on: Blur's an iconic Britpop band. What did those Coachella attendees expect to find in the middle of the desert: an Oasis?" pic.twitter.com/yoNy9fE7yq
— Jamison Webb (@jamisonwebb) April 15, 2024

Damon Albarn: I put my trousers on, have a cup of tea, and I think about leaving me house.

Crowd of 90,000 dead-eyed Zoomers: [confused silence]

Damon Albarn: It's "Parklife!" mates, innit?
— Zach Schonfeld (@zzzzaaaacccchhh) April 15, 2024

im guessing it's gonna be the second one https://t.co/g06Ebfxjfj
— he/theyo kojima (@sleepdealerrr) April 15, 2024

Day 2148 with no response from Drake to @PUSHA_T's "Story Of Adidon". https://t.co/2K3VpTAYWI
— Cawb (@CAWBBBB) April 15, 2024

I need this GIF in my life. pic.twitter.com/DyZwGeorSS
— Mueller, She Wrote (@MuellerSheWrote) April 15, 2024

I love these memes because it's like yeah get off your phone and be in the moment for once, really savour freezing to death in the mid-Atlantic. https://t.co/bT1BJnW8F2
— mary (@theoceanblooms) April 15, 2024

10/10 no notes 💋👌 https://t.co/FOT43wG0Vk
— Kristi Yamaguccimane (@TheWapplehouse) April 15, 2024

can't believe T*sla is having layoffs who would've thought that developing a pretend tank for virgins was a bad business gambit
— Alpha Male (real) (@SortaBad) April 15, 2024

My kids speak to me https://t.co/HNwfqMZ4i5
— Tom (@TPGRoberts) April 15, 2024

The incel energy is off the charts. https://t.co/ALUSHfFIrG
— Tina Brooks🦎 (@Pepperfire) April 15, 2024

We tried to give Andrew Giuliani a hush money payment outside Donald Trump's hush money trial. pic.twitter.com/oTvPAlbmxn
— The Good Liars (@TheGoodLiars) April 15, 2024

Kinda having trouble concentrating during this trial. pic.twitter.com/samPo2mBuB
— Daniel Spenser (@DanSpenser) April 15, 2024

Why doesn't Whiny Don mention that Barron's graduation is on Friday May 17, a date that court is NOT in session? pic.twitter.com/IxUwa9rsne
— Morgan J. Freeman (@mjfree) April 15, 2024

Eric didn't even know how old Barron was. https://t.co/UY46dij56B
— Ron Filipkowski (@RonFilipkowski) April 16, 2024

Your daddy was banging Marla after raping your mom and then banged Melania whilst still married to Marla and then banged a porn star while your brother was being born so I don't think it's Judge Merchan who is heartless. pic.twitter.com/WQaCUm5EDU
— Jane of the North (@JaneotN) April 15, 2024

Eric Trump Only Potential Juror Uninformed Enough To Serve At Father's Trial https://t.co/B0w1eZ7Ha4
— The Onion (@TheOnion) April 15, 2024

It's cute watching them learn in real time how criminal trials work pic.twitter.com/I392uEfnsN
— Brett Meiselas (@BMeiselas) April 15, 2024

He's eating a hot dog https://t.co/9JuX5v7XcM
— I Think You Should Leave 💦🥩 (@ITYSL_memes) April 15, 2024

This needs to be a campaign ad today. pic.twitter.com/BonLyBhDdf
— Ricky Davila (@TheRickyDavila) April 16, 2024

I've never heard of a defendant falling asleep at his own trial, let alone on the first day
— Preet Bharara (@PreetBharara) April 15, 2024

All anyone needs to know about Danielle Smith is that she takes advice from this guy pic.twitter.com/WinqHZntQD
— Allan Taylor (@allantaylor) April 16, 2024

My friend's Dad doesn't know who Cookie Monster is and referred to him as COLD ELMO. pic.twitter.com/BT29ngtKpT
— Winifred Beecher Howe (@katemccabesays) April 15, 2024

How quickly the WNBA draftees have to transition from the NCAA tournament to WNBA training camp pic.twitter.com/lQLmQLd3oL
— Bri Lewerke (@brilewerke) April 15, 2024

https://t.co/ZfiQ18paQd pic.twitter.com/FrdMJMhXe6
— Assal Rad (@AssalRad) April 15, 2024

pic.twitter.com/AX89AxjT5e
— yasmin (@ycsm1n) April 15, 2024

About time https://t.co/OZwV2nImJk pic.twitter.com/ucAsZxMBkD
— Read Let This Radicalize You (@JoshuaPHilll) April 15, 2024

it is so bizarre to me that insurance mascots are a not insignificant part of our culture https://t.co/5TW0XBAATL
— paige (@BonerWizard) April 16, 2024

April 16

fuck. https://t.co/M7BirqVCuQ
— Paul Tyson (@JustChump) April 16, 2024

incredible career https://t.co/FYz7kPMar9 pic.twitter.com/cFYAGIk2RQ
— fraser ramon (@SteveMerkle9) April 16, 2024

Why did she delete? I'm on her side pic.twitter.com/6lJPHQh3Mb
— Elsbeth Tashioni (@THISisLULE) April 16, 2024

Before and after eating way too much porridge pic.twitter.com/qbA0ggqJ79
— Patrick Monahan (@pattymo) April 17, 2024

It's incredible what you learn when you treat your employees like adults. pic.twitter.com/5eH7CkOfBb
— Dare Obasanjo🐀 (@Carnage4Life) April 16, 2024

Pierre Poilievre, the slogan burping Conservative, who pretends he gets working people - gets worked over by the Maritime Mauler, Sean Fraser. https://t.co/nJkYEvGEvO
— Charles Adler (@charlesadler) April 16, 2024

I've shenanned before… and I'll shenanigan
— Stone Cold Jane Austen (@AbbyHiggs) April 16, 2024

And he showed him a yellow Pono
With its Toblerone physique
And he said all files are lossless
You use FLACs not MP3s https://t.co/yFwgYO8QIE
— Jeremy D. Larson (@jeremydlarson) April 16, 2024

The crimes are prosecuted where they are committed.

I'm still not convinced she actually passed the bar. https://t.co/oAkb3hS3of
— Bradley P. Moss (@BradMossEsq) April 17, 2024

Donald Trump is currently being forced to spend all day in a court room listening to a judge read wine mom twitter memes about drumpf lmao https://t.co/nMzG2dg260
— Wade (in Tarnation) (@watn_tarnation) April 16, 2024

https://t.co/kGZcUYdR7k pic.twitter.com/wnLN1XgWeY
— James Line (@jameslineky) April 16, 2024

How embarrassing for someone who's been accusing Joe Biden of being sleepy for 6 years and now has fallen asleep twice in 2 days...
— Alex Cole (@acnewsitics) April 16, 2024

One of the most direct set ups for an SNL sketch that real life has offered us in recent memory pic.twitter.com/H4UaiYpmbe
— southpaw (@nycsouthpaw) April 16, 2024

I love James Austin Johnson's Trump impression so much. It's not just that he sounds like him, it's that he says the kinds of things Trump says in a way that's not over the top. TLDR: JAJ's the best. https://t.co/4HOkI4v8a7
— Martha Kelly (@MarthaKelly3) April 16, 2024

Heidi Garner talking about that sketch like she's testifying before a war crimes tribunal. https://t.co/KAKyWXS3al
— Franklin Leonard (@franklinleonard) April 16, 2024

Bill Hader on Sexy Beast. He's so good pic.twitter.com/wJhj5OIoSf
— Tom Reagan's Hat (@RufusTSuperfly) April 16, 2024

Typically, Siskel would not understand a movie, or fixate on some minor thing that irritated him, and then Ebert would deliver a long rebuttal about what the movie was actually doing and why it was actually good, and Siskel would say he disagreed, and both of them would be wrong.
— Will Sloan (@WillSloanEsq) April 16, 2024

Movies don't pass you the blunt anymore and that's why cinema is in decline https://t.co/regtLphAYm
— based gizmo 🏳️‍⚧️ 🇵🇸 (@neverthetories) April 16, 2024

WITHOUT SAYING HULK https://t.co/ZPqDwtvZGF
— ZODIAC MOTHERFUCKER (@ZODIAC_MF) April 16, 2024

Oh my GOD just talk to actual women, we're all horny and unhappy too you're not special you fucking weirdos https://t.co/1ZlDYFCPFS
— Naomi Rohatyn (@omibaloney) April 16, 2024

Use this for your cover art ⁦@kendricklamar⁩ pic.twitter.com/vKw21meTTs
— Ruff Criminal (@RuffCrim) April 16, 2024

someone sent this to me and I'm fucking dying pic.twitter.com/LIj2F9OAwE
— mr pussy (@_mrpussy) April 17, 2024

Dubai infrastructure being totally unprepared for moderate rain, worsened by the government's cloud-seeding experiments, coinciding with a massive crypto convention so all the coin-fluencers are there to document it.

Literally: a perfect storm. https://t.co/DAy7EW3PFV
— Josh Otten (@ordinarytings) April 16, 2024

actual billionaire: i paid my country 288 million dollars and im proud of it and also i make way more than that

people who directly benefit from this: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! https://t.co/slQ7gZG4qr
— the nick celtics (@tyleroneillfan) April 16, 2024

This rich rapper roast session not landing for me. I'm supposed to be laughing at someone for having a starter mansion? 😭 https://t.co/IMU8XIWuxV
— nope (@PrinceHAK33M) April 17, 2024

nnnnyeeeoooooowwww https://t.co/DV0RH2FJrm
— Leena 🌵 (@LeenaVanD) April 17, 2024

April 17

Thank you to my friend Derek Horn for making this piece of art pic.twitter.com/e93JzWKwpQ
— Chris Locke (@chrislockeworld) April 17, 2024

[to the tune of Creep]
i'm a guy
i am normal
— katie (@skatie420) April 17, 2024

dudes, and I cannot stress this part enough, rock pic.twitter.com/5uGdMUEMLF
— 𝔏𝔦𝔬𝔫𝔢𝔰𝔰 (@InsaneMistress) April 17, 2024

this is still the best video ever btw like her reactions are so visceral… where is her emmy pic.twitter.com/usvbdwrrHa
— max (@lunarmaxie) April 17, 2024

incredible new challenge happening over on TikTok pic.twitter.com/isb4dWmJ7D
— kate bush's husband (@airbagged) April 17, 2024

Hey Netflix. Just chill a minute and let me watch the fucking credits, yeah?
— Manfuego (@manfuego007) April 17, 2024

"don't wash your cybertruck in sunlight" how does everything about this shitty car get funnier every single time i see any news about it. it's the NFT of cars https://t.co/mIooQxIapV
— beer person (@CantEverDie) April 17, 2024

my boss: what should we name our new car

me, trying to get fired: cybertruck
— Ben Rosen (@ben_rosen) April 18, 2024

Do NOT take your Cybertruck outside. Exposing it to fresh air WILL make the tires fall off.
— Cody Johnston (@drmistercody) April 17, 2024

Who did this??? 🤣😂😂😂 pic.twitter.com/kQOoM1uwqD
— Jason P. (@JasonPYYC) April 17, 2024

Say it with me: it's 👏 not 👏 the 👏 carbon 👏 tax https://t.co/89nBwyM89b
— David Brown (@OrbitStudios) April 17, 2024

You should get tax breaks for not driving, for not owning a car, for commuting by public transit. It's a total policy mindfuck that drivers get subsidies for new electric cars ostensibly for the environment but the minimal impact of non-drivers isn't recognized whatsoever.
— holly (@girlziplocked) April 17, 2024

In fairness to our former President, many stable geniuses confuse me with Al Pacino.... pic.twitter.com/dOLT8Q2sSO
— Jimmy Kimmel (@jimmykimmel) April 17, 2024

This is what CTE does when you don't have a family to kill https://t.co/cP0xrPPs2q
— Aliison Klemp/Fridson 🍉 (@alisonklemp) April 17, 2024

https://t.co/BjekNn8c7S pic.twitter.com/TddsrovcGS
— Mike Drucker (@MikeDrucker) April 18, 2024

Why can Tarantino only make 10 movies. Was that the ruling of the foot pervert council
— the federalist stinks!!!! (@rajandelman) April 18, 2024

yalls obsession w celebrity sex lives is so weird and invasive https://t.co/25AgmfJKRP
— ☪︎ qamar قمر (@moong3nder) April 17, 2024

I want to understand the correlation https://t.co/qVp3mCFmHP
— Dominique (@EmpathicFoodie) April 17, 2024

It's so funny that Jeffrey Toobin got caught jacking off his lil Weiner on a zoom and now he just tweets out normal reports about court proceedings like we are supposed to just not think about it.
— Chris Calogero (@RealChrisCal) April 17, 2024

Will be so funny if Trump's trial adjourns for May 17th and then he kinda has to go to Barron's graduation
— Ben Wexler (@mrbenwexler) April 18, 2024

I need Brian Cox and Courtney Love to host the third hour of the Today show. https://t.co/qY4xvjQM7r
— Brown Anthony™ (@anthelonious) April 17, 2024

Remember how Taylor kept her music off Spotify & everyone was like "Wow Queen, fighting for the little artists!" and then they agreed to pay her more so now she's doing her album release party through Spotify even though the platform just demonetized thousands of small artists? https://t.co/crSbK15chi
— Roger (Perpetual Stu) (@iamtherog) April 17, 2024

this is jojo siwa https://t.co/EGnhjId4sn
— scene celebrity (@whackkat) April 17, 2024

A villain origin story. She would never show up to perform on time again. https://t.co/JAFb2n91Dn
— nope (@PrinceHAK33M) April 17, 2024

i just replied to a DM from a month ago and the dude sent back the Simpsons gif of Ringo Starr answering Marge's fan mail 30 years later LMFAO pic.twitter.com/MbciARL3Qm
— rob harvilla (@harvilla) April 18, 2024

You literally cannot imagine him saying that to a male athlete. This is just straight up misogyny. WELCOME TO INDIANA, CAITLIN! https://t.co/agzzGo195p
— W. Kamau Bell (@wkamaubell) April 17, 2024

He didn't know who tf he was marrying pic.twitter.com/j7cvgVmgoj
— zack (@count_ecstasy) April 17, 2024

pic.twitter.com/db2wHFEPk2
— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) April 18, 2024

Jontay Porter's lifetime ban from the NBA is brought to you by FanDuel Sportsbook. Use promo code "PORTERBANNED" to get $150 in Bonus Bets. https://t.co/SJLErPQwNc
— Moneybagg Yo(hannes) 🇪🇷 (@AronYohannes) April 17, 2024

Welcome to TSN sponsored by FanDuel. We quickly go to our Toronto Raptors expert Blake Murphy who's standing live in our Bet Rivers Casino studio. Blake, how does something like this happen? https://t.co/iRNTbiqYBe
— spencer🦕 (@spen______) April 17, 2024

He bet on the Raptors to lose and still lost the bet? https://t.co/E6W5zPdXSd pic.twitter.com/ICbjlkzH2w
— Libaan Osman (@libaanstar1) April 17, 2024

Congrats, Philadelphia 76ers! You have survived a one-game playoff against the Miami Heat and their junkyard defense.

Your reward is the New York Knicks. All of them carry hammers and socks full of nickels.
— Jackson Frank (@jackfrank_jjf) April 18, 2024

April 18

My PG https://t.co/hWx6bgP1Cl
— Talking Raptors (@TalkingRaptors) April 18, 2024

I don't think "House" was the right name for that Hugh Laurie show. Based on what I saw, it should have been called "Hospital"
— shosh brodman (@shosh_brod) April 18, 2024

this photo makes it look like Ashanti just told Nelly both of these things two seconds earlier pic.twitter.com/T6FQ2j5gQg
— Eric Harvey (@ericdharvey) April 18, 2024

During the strikes people were going "oh boo hoo, are the rich, famous actors not making enough" and meanwhile every actor who's less famous than like Tom Cruise has a quote like this https://t.co/ISx24MVWmg
— Zack Budryk (@BudrykZack) April 18, 2024

Conversation heard on CNN this morning between Reporter & Rep. Jared Moskowitz:

Reporter: "What's going on with Marjorie Taylor Greene?"

Rep.M: "There aren't enough psychologists in the world to explain what's going on with Marjorie Taylor Greene."
— Catherine E. Cullen (@catherineecull1) April 18, 2024

This should be a federal offence pic.twitter.com/KeosIQ78vM
— andrew (@mrnastynodrama) April 18, 2024

The diaper shitting over the capital gains increase is one of my few joys in life rn. Mainline this pissy whining directly into my veins. https://t.co/cEYSIrqrq7
— 🔫 Scott Martin (Pinko Punko)🛼 (@YouCaughtScott) April 18, 2024

me: the Kool-Aid man was basically a reverse vampire. he'd go into people's houses uninvited and have them drink his blood

my therapist: again, it's not technically wrong but I'm concerned you have diagrams
— Andrew Nadeau (@TheAndrewNadeau) April 18, 2024

J-lo: "I want some boots that make me look like I'm taking a shit everywhere i sit" pic.twitter.com/BFqktnJ3F0
— Special Ed (@6stringSpecial) April 18, 2024

very funny that Tarantino has trapped himself in a box by accidentally making the perfect Final Movie at movie #9 out of his dumbass 10 movie rule and now his expectations for himself are beyond reach for the tenth
— coffee (@eventualforever) April 18, 2024

Color of Money - sequel
Goodfellas - adaptation
Age of Innocence - adaptation
Casino - adaptation
Departed - remake
Silence - adaptation
Irishman - adaptation
KOTFM - adaptation

anyone detecting the difference in process here https://t.co/O8lmp985H8
— zach (@zascmo) April 18, 2024

We are all in agreement that these look like pads, right? pic.twitter.com/GfFmYybJuJ
— ratboy (@EmmaLouiseSmyth) April 18, 2024

The homophobic ones turn out to be gay.

The ones screaming "groomers" turn out to be pedophiles.

The ones claiming election fraud committed election fraud.

See how this works? When someone is hurling hate, invective and lies, it's a short hop from accusation to confession.
— George Takei (@GeorgeTakei) April 18, 2024

https://t.co/se1o5FeKBZ pic.twitter.com/SNPbW16XU7
— President-Elect Toguro (@PresidentToguro) April 18, 2024

"what if jack the ripper went to an olivia rodrigo concert" is exactly the sort of shit i watch m. night movies for https://t.co/TP9zieCqwT
— cole? (@krondotcom) April 18, 2024

🤣 pic.twitter.com/srxcbhivWZ
— Guy Fiero™ (@theliamnissan) April 18, 2024

Boomers love posting stuff like this and then calling the police on teenage skateboarders because they're making noise. https://t.co/THsW2z2wmw
— Max Dubler 🏳️‍🌈 (@maxdubler) April 18, 2024

job listings are like... Looking for EXPERIENCED team member who can work FAST! Tell me why you are PASSIONATE about editing REELS! Include what super power you would want and WHY! To show you pay attention to detail use the word CORN in the first paragraph - pay is $5 an hour
— Sara Schaefer (@saraschaefer1) April 18, 2024

Was looking at Netflix and let me tell you, stand up comedy is in great hands, this guy Jimmy Carr did a joke about how vegans tell you they are vegans. It's cutting edge stuff and he is not going to apologize
— 🔪🔪🔪bЯyan🔪🔪🔪 (@murderxbryan) April 18, 2024

When my dad died, a lot of comedians came to the funeral to offer their support and ask how they could get on Conan.
— brian kiley (@kileynoodles) April 18, 2024

Just got this message from my doctor… pic.twitter.com/pNUkbiaCum
— Conan O'Brien (@ConanOBrien) April 18, 2024

This Funny Week in Funny Tweets: April 19, 2024

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