Ah, Holiday visiting -- that special time of year when we spend a few days (or weeks) at our parents' homes, sleeping in our childhood single bends, deflecting endless questions about our plans for marriage/procreation and generally exercising a superhuman amount of willpower in an attempt not to murder everyone in sight. Between once again having to hide alcohol consumption and constantly defend one's lifestyle and wardrobe choices ("you'd be such a pretty girl if you didn't wear black all the time" is a personal favourite), the holidays can be particularly trying for metalheads.
For all the metalheads steeling themselves for a stay with their parents or other family, here's a list of some crucial albums to help you weather the rougher parts of the visiting experience. If you're going to have to tolerate being treated like a teenager, you may as well have an appropriately angry soundtrack to help you deal.
Top 10 Metal Albums to Get You Through Holiday Visiting:
10. Immortal
Battles in the North
(1995)
Bergen, Norway's Immortal definitively established the "grim and frostbitten" sound that has become a trope in black metal ever since. Their icy guitar tone, gelid production and blast-driven drumming create a musical landscape consumed by ice and snow. When you need to put on some boots, pop in your earbuds and take a chilly walk at night to clear your head after a long day of family togetherness and judgement, let the blistering riffs and tales of Blashyrkh carry you away.
9. Iced Earth
Burnt Offerings
(1995)
First of all, this album features a Gustave Doré engraving of Lucifer chilling in the 9th circle of hell as the cover image, which puts it in a special place in my heart already. This is also the first Iced Earth album to feature vocalist Matt Barlow. The sound is pure brimstone: burnt, dirty, ashen and merciless. There is great deal of roiling anger in this album, which Jon Shaeffer has said came out of disputes with their record label, Century Media. This is a great soundtrack when your family inevitably starts driving you nuts and visions of homicides start to dance in your head.
8. Meshuggah
Catch Thirtythree
(2005)
Whatever your feelings about this Swedish extreme metal band, there's no denying Meshuggah's influence on the metal world. Their signature eight-string, down-tuned guitars and complex, polyrhythmic song structures are immediately recognizable. Their technical proficiency and distinct style have given rise to a whole new sub-genre of metal. Their sound is also deep, dark and evil, providing an excellent respite from an overload of Christmas cheer. I particularly recommend "Shed," which was featured on the Saw III soundtrack and serves and an excellent antidote to a surfeit of merriment.
7. Sting
If on a Winter's Night
(2009)
Not metal, but this is actually one of the few rock Christmas albums that doesn't make me want to stab myself in the eye with a candy cane. Keeping this record on hand is perfect for when you can't fathom listening to Bing Crosby's White Christmas one more time without committing multiple homicide. The album is particularly good for resurrecting older, less popular holiday songs, such as "Soul Cake," so you'll have the added bonus of not listening to "Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer" for the 18 millionth time. The chilly, crisp rock is non-threatening, meaning this is a record you might be able to convince your parents to pop in the stereo for a few revolutions, which will provide a welcome respite.
6. Kyuss
Blues for the Red Sun
(1992)
Including this album on a wintertime list might seem purely contrarian, but hear me out. While many Kyuss albums conjure the thick, humid, sweltering frustration of summer, no record does it as well as Blues for the Red Sun. There is something in the smouldering lugubriousness of the tone to this that, in the depths of winter, is the aural equivalent of sitting in front of a crackling fire.
5. Skeletonwitch
Beyond the Permafrost
(2007)
Few bands engage with the tradition of NWOBHM-inspired music as well as Ohio's Skeletonwitch. Beyond the Permafrost is unquestionably the band's chilliest record, combining icy, blackened vocals with melodic hooks and an aggressive, but upbeat, atmosphere. They have a sort of good-natured bloody-mindedness that can keep even the most aggravated metalhead in a good mood. I often listen to this record when trapped in the back seat of my parents' car, feeling like a teenager, staring out the window over a frozen landscape.
4. Amorphis
Tales from the Thousand Lakes
(1994)
With an impressive and varied catalogue to draw upon, Finnish metal band Amorphis are still defined by their second release, Tales from the Thousand Lakes . The album is a brilliant re-visioning of Finnish epic Kalevala, a series of legends and folk tales. The culture's pervasive cold, sunless winters and brilliant storytelling tradition are palpable in this record. In particular, "Black Winter Day" evokes the role of the storyteller in keeping the monsters of winter at bay.
3. Celtic Frost
To Mega Therion
(1985)
This album makes regular appearances in my playlists year-round, and not just because I think Tom G. Warrior is a stone cold fox. Celtic Frost are an incredibly influential band in the extreme metal scene, and To Mega Therion is their absolute best. It had a huge impact on the development of black metal and death metal as the genres were still being formed. The chill that pervades "(Beyond The) North Winds" makes me shiver every time. Having cover art by H.R. Giger, a piece called Satan I, also adds to the delicious perversion of the Christmas season. The dark, subversive nature of To Mega Therion is a perfect antidote when the holidays get a bit too wholesome.
2. Thyrfing
Farstotstider
(2005)
Winter, and the entire yule season, makes me long for Viking metal. As a woman of genuine Viking heritage (family legend traces our genealogy back to a tenth century Norse clan), as soon as the snow starts to fall, something deep in my ancestral memory stirs and the urge to don some furs and pick up a battle axe rises in my spirit. While enjoying the finest roasted meats and ales with my family, Thyrfing's Farsotstider provides an excellent musical accompaniment to the best parts of the holidays.
1. Bathory
Blood Fire Death
(1988)
If there is one thing that defines the holidays, it is members of my family giving me all the unsolicited advice in the world and commenting on my life choices in shocking detail. This usually ends with my Russian grandmother attempting to set me up with an altar server and my dad asking why I can't dress like a lady. At moments like this, I turn to Bathory's Blood Death Fire. This seminal black metal album (also considered one of the first examples of Viking metal) sounds and feels positively demonic. It channels all the negativity out of my rancid brain and lets me expunge my frustration without setting the Christmas tree aflame.
For all the metalheads steeling themselves for a stay with their parents or other family, here's a list of some crucial albums to help you weather the rougher parts of the visiting experience. If you're going to have to tolerate being treated like a teenager, you may as well have an appropriately angry soundtrack to help you deal.
Top 10 Metal Albums to Get You Through Holiday Visiting:
10. Immortal
Battles in the North
(1995)
Bergen, Norway's Immortal definitively established the "grim and frostbitten" sound that has become a trope in black metal ever since. Their icy guitar tone, gelid production and blast-driven drumming create a musical landscape consumed by ice and snow. When you need to put on some boots, pop in your earbuds and take a chilly walk at night to clear your head after a long day of family togetherness and judgement, let the blistering riffs and tales of Blashyrkh carry you away.
9. Iced Earth
Burnt Offerings
(1995)
First of all, this album features a Gustave Doré engraving of Lucifer chilling in the 9th circle of hell as the cover image, which puts it in a special place in my heart already. This is also the first Iced Earth album to feature vocalist Matt Barlow. The sound is pure brimstone: burnt, dirty, ashen and merciless. There is great deal of roiling anger in this album, which Jon Shaeffer has said came out of disputes with their record label, Century Media. This is a great soundtrack when your family inevitably starts driving you nuts and visions of homicides start to dance in your head.
8. Meshuggah
Catch Thirtythree
(2005)
Whatever your feelings about this Swedish extreme metal band, there's no denying Meshuggah's influence on the metal world. Their signature eight-string, down-tuned guitars and complex, polyrhythmic song structures are immediately recognizable. Their technical proficiency and distinct style have given rise to a whole new sub-genre of metal. Their sound is also deep, dark and evil, providing an excellent respite from an overload of Christmas cheer. I particularly recommend "Shed," which was featured on the Saw III soundtrack and serves and an excellent antidote to a surfeit of merriment.
7. Sting
If on a Winter's Night
(2009)
Not metal, but this is actually one of the few rock Christmas albums that doesn't make me want to stab myself in the eye with a candy cane. Keeping this record on hand is perfect for when you can't fathom listening to Bing Crosby's White Christmas one more time without committing multiple homicide. The album is particularly good for resurrecting older, less popular holiday songs, such as "Soul Cake," so you'll have the added bonus of not listening to "Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer" for the 18 millionth time. The chilly, crisp rock is non-threatening, meaning this is a record you might be able to convince your parents to pop in the stereo for a few revolutions, which will provide a welcome respite.
6. Kyuss
Blues for the Red Sun
(1992)
Including this album on a wintertime list might seem purely contrarian, but hear me out. While many Kyuss albums conjure the thick, humid, sweltering frustration of summer, no record does it as well as Blues for the Red Sun. There is something in the smouldering lugubriousness of the tone to this that, in the depths of winter, is the aural equivalent of sitting in front of a crackling fire.
5. Skeletonwitch
Beyond the Permafrost
(2007)
Few bands engage with the tradition of NWOBHM-inspired music as well as Ohio's Skeletonwitch. Beyond the Permafrost is unquestionably the band's chilliest record, combining icy, blackened vocals with melodic hooks and an aggressive, but upbeat, atmosphere. They have a sort of good-natured bloody-mindedness that can keep even the most aggravated metalhead in a good mood. I often listen to this record when trapped in the back seat of my parents' car, feeling like a teenager, staring out the window over a frozen landscape.
4. Amorphis
Tales from the Thousand Lakes
(1994)
With an impressive and varied catalogue to draw upon, Finnish metal band Amorphis are still defined by their second release, Tales from the Thousand Lakes . The album is a brilliant re-visioning of Finnish epic Kalevala, a series of legends and folk tales. The culture's pervasive cold, sunless winters and brilliant storytelling tradition are palpable in this record. In particular, "Black Winter Day" evokes the role of the storyteller in keeping the monsters of winter at bay.
3. Celtic Frost
To Mega Therion
(1985)
This album makes regular appearances in my playlists year-round, and not just because I think Tom G. Warrior is a stone cold fox. Celtic Frost are an incredibly influential band in the extreme metal scene, and To Mega Therion is their absolute best. It had a huge impact on the development of black metal and death metal as the genres were still being formed. The chill that pervades "(Beyond The) North Winds" makes me shiver every time. Having cover art by H.R. Giger, a piece called Satan I, also adds to the delicious perversion of the Christmas season. The dark, subversive nature of To Mega Therion is a perfect antidote when the holidays get a bit too wholesome.
2. Thyrfing
Farstotstider
(2005)
Winter, and the entire yule season, makes me long for Viking metal. As a woman of genuine Viking heritage (family legend traces our genealogy back to a tenth century Norse clan), as soon as the snow starts to fall, something deep in my ancestral memory stirs and the urge to don some furs and pick up a battle axe rises in my spirit. While enjoying the finest roasted meats and ales with my family, Thyrfing's Farsotstider provides an excellent musical accompaniment to the best parts of the holidays.
1. Bathory
Blood Fire Death
(1988)
If there is one thing that defines the holidays, it is members of my family giving me all the unsolicited advice in the world and commenting on my life choices in shocking detail. This usually ends with my Russian grandmother attempting to set me up with an altar server and my dad asking why I can't dress like a lady. At moments like this, I turn to Bathory's Blood Death Fire. This seminal black metal album (also considered one of the first examples of Viking metal) sounds and feels positively demonic. It channels all the negativity out of my rancid brain and lets me expunge my frustration without setting the Christmas tree aflame.
