2012 in Beefs

2012 in Beefs
While it's easy for musicians to play nice in an effort to save face, maximize networking and rack up a nice Rolodex, that gets a little boring after a while. Especially when we all know there's no way they love each other that much. That's why, we've spent the year bringing you the best disses, spats and hissy fits from all kinds of artists. After all, even if you're a strict vegetarian, who doesn't love a healthy dose of beef? Let's make a stew!

10. Mike Love vs. the Beach Boys:

The world of beef knows no age limits, as grumpy old men the Beach Boys proved when they essentially fell apart at the end of their wildly successful 50th anniversary tour. It wasn't all of their faults, however. Instead, it boiled down to vocalist Mike Love, who seemingly fired the band at the end of their shows. Love claimed he had always planned to do another Beach Boys tour with hired musicians (Smashing Pumpkins style, amirite), but the rest of the dudes pointed out that they'd been offered more shows for the original lineup, and that they were under the impression that things were going well. It's hard to understand how things could turn bad when they were seemingly going so smoothly, but then, we've all had an elderly relative get in trouble for stirring up shit in the old folks' home, haven't we?

9. Zodiac vs. the Weeknd:

While most of these beefs are good for a LOL or two, this one's more of a bummer. Producer Jeremy Rose, who now performs under the name Zodiac, revealed that he was actually an integral part of Abel Tesfaye's rise as the Weeknd. Everything from the unique sound of the project to the actual moniker was allegedly conceived by Rose. Originally working as a group, Rose claims that Tesfaye's inability to collaborate eventually forced him out, and now he doesn't even have actual credit for his work on the breakthrough House of Balloons mixtape. Talk about a lousy Weeknd!

8. Akron/Family vs. Man Is the Bastard / Bastard Noise:

Count the amount of times you've seen a parody of, say, the Black Flag logo, and it shouldn't come as a surprise that the indie mainstream would enjoy appropriating a hardcore scene image for their own merchandise. When Akron/Family utilized a skull and text design popularized by crusty power-violence crew Man Is the Bastard, however, it was proven just how humourless that sect can be. Bastard member Eric Wood essentially lost his shit on the Akron/Family Facebook page, including the succinct statement, "YOU GUYS ARE GODDAMNED THIEVES AND YOU SUCK. FUCKING LOGO STEALING LOSERS. FUCK YOU!!!!!" Akron bassist Miles Seaton insisted that the logo use was intended as a tribute to the band, who changed his life when he saw them many years ago. Still, if there's one lesson we can all learn from this, it's that old-school crust dudes don't give a fuck about tongue-in-cheek homages.

7. Billy Corgan vs. Soundgarden and Pavement:

Currently knee deep in his Smashing Pumpkins "revival," Billy Corgan took some time to lash out at his '90s contemporaries Soundgarden and Pavement this year for their refusal to make new music (something Soundgarden eventually did). "There are those bands that are essentially coming back only to make money — playing their old albums, and maybe somewhere in the back of their minds they're thinking there might be a future," Corgan told Philstar.com, adding, "When Soundgarden came back and they just played their old songs, great. I was a fan of Soundgarden, but call it for what it is. They're just out there to have one more round at the till; same with Pavement and these other bands." Corgan went on to add, "We can't run an oldies business. Not only is it boring, it's actually not a very good business." How does he counter that? It's simple, really — he just hired an entirely new backing band, presumably through a want ad at his local Guitar Center. It's hard to be a Smashing Pumpkins rehash when you're not really playing in the Smashing Pumpkins.

6. Damian Abraham vs. Katy Perry and Her Fans:

Gone are the days when Fucked Up frontman and MuchMusic VJ Damian Abraham was penning diss songs about Billy Talent, but that doesn't mean the jovial Canadian stalwart is without venom. Take, for example, his words for pop starlet Katy Perry. When she released her recruitment video "Part of Me" music video, Abraham tweeted, "Seeing Katy Perry as a soldier in 'Part of Me' really makes me think that we need to start a war so she can go die." What followed was a barrage of hateful comments from Perry's fans across the Twittersphere, who called him everything from "actually an asshole" to a "fat ass bearded mess" and an "irrelevant bitch." Kinda mean, guys. When we think of Damian all we can say is "baby you're a fiiiiiiirework."

5. Drake vs. Chris Brown:

While this one remained somewhat speculative, the story goes that Drake and Chris Brown were separately attending a Maybach Music Group listening party in New York City, when shit went sour. According to various reports, some verbal exchanges (possibly about Rihanna, with whom both artists have been romantically linked) escalated into a bottle-throwing fight from which Brown suffered a wound on his chin. Poor dude! After all, what did Chris Brown ever do to deserve a bottle to the face?

4. Deryck Whibley vs. Avril Lavigne and Chad Kroeger:

While this one flew under the radar of Exclaim! news, it's pretty damn bizarre. Proving that it's possible to sink lower than "the guy from Sum 41," eternally tweenaged pop princess Avril Lavigne recently announced her engagement to noodle-haired butt rocker Chad Kroeger of Nickelback infamy. For Halloween, Avril's ex, Deryck Whibley (who, if he's honest with himself, is spelling his first name wrong), dressed up as her, with his new girlfriend Ari Cooper donning Kroeger's shitty facial hair and blonde locks. That's funny enough, but then the Kroegs himself took a potshot on Twitter, writing, "Hey Deryck loved the costumes! we were going to dress up as you guys this year but all the parties had celebrity themes haha! -CK." Watching it unfold was kind of like watching a Bumfights video — you don't know who to cheer for, you feel kinda gross seeing it happen, and the whole thing is sad but intriguing.

3. Girls vs. Girls:

File this one under utterly, totally batshit. Before he shut down the project entirely, Girls founder Christopher Owens took issue with Judd Apatow and Lena Dunham for allegedly copying his band name for the title of their HBO show. You know, that show called Girls. That's right — even poppy indie rockers have entitlement issues. Not only is a television show an entirely different medium from a rock band, but he was angry about an incredibly common pluralized noun. Now that Owens is releasing music under his birth name, we hope he doesn't find out about the actor, football player, basketball player, burlesque performer or politician who share his name.

2. Drake vs. Common:

Before he was chucking bottles at Chris Brown, Drake had a nice verbal spat with Common. While it wasn't exactly clear what caused the butthurt-ness, it all started when Drizzy dropped some subliminal bombs on Rick Ross's Rich Forever mixtape. Without specifically naming Common, he said, "It bothers me when the guards get to acting like the broads" and "I'm just hitting my pinnacle / You and pussy identical." Taking a break from his usual laid-back spoken-word-dude persona, Common responded with a remix of the song. He dropped a ton of disses on Drake, most importantly rhyming,"Can't say a nigga name but you rap about a nigga's wife, you so black and white tryna live a nigga's life / I'm taking too long with this amateur guy / You ain't wet nobody nigga, you Canada Dry." While Common gets bonus points for name-dropping our favourite ginger ale (fuck you, Schweppes), Drake's homie the Weeknd was none too impressed, tweeting, "That was the worst comeback ive ever heard reminds me of someone's drunk uncle…."

1. Erykah Badu vs. the Flaming Lips:

Back in June, Erykah Badu had her sister Nayrok appear in a Flaming Lips video for the song "The First Time I Ever Saw Your Face." Completely naked in a bath tub, Nayrok's body was covered in glitter, blood and some brown sludge. Right after, Badu alleged that Wayne Coyne released a video far from the "tasteful" concept that was first described to her. "That is equivalent to putting out a security camera's images of me changing in the fitting room," she wrote. "I never would have approved that tasteless, meaningless, shock motivated video." Coyne responded, telling BBC 6 Music, "I think Erykah knew she could play into it if we made a video that could be perceived as derogatory. Otherwise I don't think she'd be interested in it. I think [her reaction] is still in the realm of a creation of controversy." Whatever the case may be, everyone got a ton of attention paid to them, and the Lips went ahead and reshot the whole thing with Amanda Palmer, who has no qualms with getting naked on film.