The Dwarves

The Dwarves are the only band better at flogging a dead horse than the Sex Pistols. From cut-rate performances that end in violence (either between band members or band and audience) to just plain performing so badly they have to trash their own instruments, the ratio of true punk rock to suck never quite falls on the good side of the colon for these San Francisco ruffians. But that’s why we love them. Even when pushing abominable efforts such as "final” album The Dwarves Must Die (which they haven’t), their blatant "fuck you!” to the world and minimal effort hoping for a big return is, well, hilarious. Thrusting another questionable slice of punk rock propaganda into the market, the Dwarves bilk their own tired catalogue with FEFU The DVD, a sad attempt to scrounge from a vast array of shit and make it seem worth buying; there’s a sucker born every minute. Featuring both the banned and censored videos for "FEFU” ("Fuck, Eat and Fuck you Up,” respectively), we see singer Blag Dahlia and crew surrounded by bloodied Suicide Girls who in fact do their best to fuck him up, pummelling him severely. Fine. The trouble starts with the throngs of "bonus” material, which is decidedly lacking in true content. A 45-minute "making of” documentary for a two-minute video offers little other than nudity to the point of boredom, live footage dating back to 1989 sounds cool but each titbit barely lasts a full minute (although the band/audience fight during "Must Have Blood” is particularly amusing/relevant), a whopping two interviews are silly and the entire affair feels cheaper than a Suicide Girls membership. As with the majority of the Dwarves’ legacy, everything in regards to FEFU The DVD is half-assed and cheesy but entertaining — once. Dahlia still needs to learn the meaning of the word stamina. In regards to FEFU The DVD, a borrower, not a lender be.