The World vs. Nickelback: A History of Hate
Published Jan 05, 2017Avril Lavigne recently leapt to the defence of her ex-hubby Chad Kroeger and his band, accusing Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg of bullying Nickelback with an artificial intelligence system that's programmed to hate the Canadian rock group.
And while Lavigne's well-intentioned plea doesn't make the music of the 'Back any more palatable, it does highlight just how ubiquitous hatred for the band has become. Of course, anyone willing to admit their affection for Nickelback will be quick to point out that 50 million records sold means that somebody else must enjoy the music — but we're guessing those people are a lot harder to find than ones willing to denounce the group as destroyers of rock'n'roll.
It's not just music snobs that pile on the Alberta-bred alt-rockers, either. Police departments, political pollsters and web designers have all done their fair share of shitting on the band, and there have been countless think-pieces, Reddit threads and even PhD dissertations discussing just why the group are so despised.
To recap it all, we've collected some of the most viral vitriol over the years into one handy list of hate.
The World vs. Nickelback: A History of Hate:
Fake Dave Grohl Burns Nickelback on Twitter
So it turns out that @FooGDave isn't actually Dave Grohl — a fact the official Foo Fighters' account felt the need to publicly point out back in 2012 — but the anonymous online personality got some pretty good digs in at Nickelback before the account was suspended.
Some choice quips included: "Nickelback walks into a bar…there's no punchline because ruining music isn't funny" and "If you play a Nickelback song backwards you'll hear messages from the devil. Even worse, if you play it forwards, you'll hear Nickelback."
And while the Foos may have denounced the fake Grohl account, they never did offer any support for Kroeger and the boys.
Detroit Lions Fans Petition to Kick Nickelback Off Halftime Show Bill
Back in 2011, Nickelback were announced as the halftime headliners at the Detroit Lions' Thanksgiving Day game against the Green Bay Packers. The Ford Field performance wasn't warmly welcomed by fans, though. Detroit supporters started a petition to distance their city from the band, which read:
This game is nationally televised, do we really want the rest of the US to associate Detroit with Nickelback?, Detroit is home to so many great musicians and they chose Nickelback?!?!?! Does anyone even like Nickelback? Is this some sort of ploy to get people to leave their seats during halftime to spend money on alcoholic beverages and concessions? This is completely unfair to those of us who purchased tickets to the game. At least the people watching at home can mute their TVs. The Lions ought to think about their fans before choosing such an awful band to play at halftime.
Given the city's rich musical history with Motown Records, as well as more contemporary artists like the White Stripes and Eminem, it's kind of easy to see where Lions fans were coming from.
Despite gathering more than 55,000 signatures on the petition, the show went ahead as planned.
Keep Your Browser Kroeger-Free with NICKELBLOCK
Out of sight, out of mind, right? For those whose hatred of the band seems absolutely inescapable online, AUX teamed up to deliver a tailored web tool to filter out any and all mentions of Nickelback. Naturally, it was named NICKELBLOCK.
The plugin was designed in 2011 by the folks at Free Art and Technology Lab, who first tested the technology with a similar service aimed at those wishing to wipe the world wide web of Justin Bieber.
"Don't Let Nickel Back" into London
For vehement Nickelback haters in London, UK, simply not attending the group's tour stops wasn't enough. A crowdfunding campaign — cleverly called "Don't Let Nickel Back" — was launched in 2014 by London resident Craig Mandall to stop the band from ever playing in city again.
Mandall's goal was to raise $1,000, offering to send a letter to the band's management on behalf of donors for every $1 raised. Higher donations were matched with more strongly worded letters. Contributions of $50 earned an MP3 attachment of Nickelback's music to the letter, so that "the band will hear their own music, and likely retire immediately, thereby ensuring the success of our campaign."
Unfortunately for Mandall (but fortunately for British 'Back fans), only $339 ended up being raised in the campaign's allotted time.
Nickelback Wanted by Australian Police
The Queensland Police Service championed the anti-Nickelback cause during the band's 2015 Australian tour, issuing a BOLO (be on the lookout) poster for the four-piece that accused them of committing "crimes against music."
The warning was sent out via social media, warning residents of Brisbane suburb Boondall: "Police are on the lookout for these men who are believed to be impersonating musicians around Boondall this evening. Avoid the area. It may be hazardous to your hearing and street cred."
It wasn't the first time the QPS made a jab at Canada's musical exports. They made their feelings about Nickelback, Celine Dion and Justin Bieber known during the Canadian prime minister's 2014 visit, as well.
Nickelback's Music Used as Cruel and Unusual Punishment by Police
Rather than issuing a warrant against Nickelback, cops from the band's home and native land opted to use 2001's Silver Side Up as punishment against anyone busted for impaired driving. Police in Kensington, PEI, implemented the scare tactic earlier this year — threatening drunk drivers with a pristine cassette copy of the 2001 album that would be unwrapped and played aloud to anyone who exceeded the legal limit.
The whole thing ended with the police officer in charge of the joke issuing an apology to the band, but we're guessing the roads stayed pretty safe up until then.
Trump Hate Trumps Nickelback Hate
It takes a lot to make people hate something or someone more than Nickelback, but that's a feat Donald Trump managed to accomplish in 2016. Back in May, a poll conducted by Public Policy Polling determined that Trump was viewed less favourably than Nickelback (and lice, root canals, hipsters, jury duty and the DMV, as well).
The poll may have made it seem like Americans had their priorities in check, but just remember that the man still made it into the office of the President of the United States despite being hated more than Nickelback. Who knows? Maybe that means Kroeger could give Kanye West some competition come 2020.