Don't Ask, Don't Tell

Woody Allen did it with What's Up Tigerlily? — take an already existing film and dub new dialogue in. But perhaps many are unaware that writer Tex Hauser and director Doug Miles did it too a few years back with Don't Ask, Don't Tell, a re-dubbing of the 1957 sci-fi stinker Killers From Space. Now on DVD, the film is a flawed but admirably bizarre attempt at such a task, but is probably more comparable to cult television series Mystery Science Theatre 3000 than Woody Allen. Mixing light social commentary with silly humour, Don't Ask is worth a look simply for its lack of shame. The premise involves the crash landing of "Mad Scientist” Dr. Doug Fartin (Peter Graves) during his top-secret experiment to get rid of all the homosexuals in the U.S. military. The mysterious circumstances of his survival lead to Fartin’s very queer behavioural changes. It seems as though homosexual aliens are attempting to turn the entire population of the Earth gay, startin’ with Fartin. There are a ton of "blink and you'll miss it" jokes, many of which are very clever. However, some miss the mark and come across as misguided or immature, but it’s quickly clear that the filmmakers are not aiming for much more than some gay old times here. The DVD offers a surprisingly well-polished batch of extras, including scenes from the original film that can be accessed throughout the film via a flashing logo in the bottom corner. The commentary by the film's director, writer, "alien" and "beer runner" are as hit-and-miss as the film but get bonus marks for their peculiarity. Don't Ask, Don't Tell is far from a disappointment, perhaps simply because it’s difficult to have any expectations for such a bizarre premise. It certainly is good for a few laughs, as long as you aren't asking for much more. (Life Size)