Average female height, four hours of sleep a night, skateboard news is tight, librarians are bright, and much more from this week in funny tweets.<br>
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<strong>October 8</strong>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">um, if you're 30 and always have back pain that's NOT normal. please go to the doctor so they can tell you bodies sometimes do that &amp; then give you a prescription for regular strength tylenol and then charge you $120.</p>
— F. Thot Lichgerald (@DrWomanhattan) <a href="https://twitter.com/DrWomanhattan/status/1446518646180876289?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">October 8, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">"i only need 4 hours of sleep a night and i'm good!" - the crankiest person you've ever met</p>
— Robert Schultz (@_RobertSchultz) <a href="https://twitter.com/_RobertSchultz/status/1446495746384084994?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">October 8, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="und" dir="ltr"><a href="https://t.co/VIE87fDKCs">pic.twitter.com/VIE87fDKCs</a></p>
— SNL Hosts Introducing the Musical Guest (@snlhostsintro) <a href="https://twitter.com/snlhostsintro/status/1446546565531779076?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">October 8, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">🎶 It's yooooooour fault🎶 <a href="https://t.co/ZADYJcFNIX">https://t.co/ZADYJcFNIX</a></p>
— pixelatedboo-at aka "mr spooky tweets" (@pixelatedboat) <a href="https://twitter.com/pixelatedboat/status/1446641393514864640?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">October 9, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<strong>October 9</strong>

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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">the only thing tht sucks about trader joes is tht i always have to go to a real grocery store afterwards</p>
— Your OG 🐩 (@LRNROSE) <a href="https://twitter.com/LRNROSE/status/1446831835959500803?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">October 9, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">The office subreddit is going off today <a href="https://t.co/AtT0tDS2cS">pic.twitter.com/AtT0tDS2cS</a></p>
— ken 🦇 (@licensedt0iII) <a href="https://twitter.com/licensedt0iII/status/1446838874202906630?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">October 9, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">i'm at work &amp; this dude orders 10 things off the menu, then turns to me and goes "this is the last time i come in here high" &amp; i feel like he's a shakespearean actor giving me, his audience, an aside</p>
— madeleine fellows (@mabbylmao) <a href="https://twitter.com/mabbylmao/status/1446871193236217859?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">October 9, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<strong>October 10</strong>

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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">(learning about oj simpson for the first time) are you serious? jesus christ.... 143 yards per game???</p>
— nick saint-germaine (@island_iverson) <a href="https://twitter.com/island_iverson/status/1447344667138330626?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">October 10, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="und" dir="ltr"><a href="https://t.co/LZEPk1qfsH">pic.twitter.com/LZEPk1qfsH</a></p>
— K. Thor Jensen (@kthorjensen) <a href="https://twitter.com/kthorjensen/status/1447247841349431304?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">October 10, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">don't understand ppl who are productive during the weekend, weekends are for feeling weird and wondering if ur friends hate u</p>
— first-mate prance (@bocxtop) <a href="https://twitter.com/bocxtop/status/1447218429333688324?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">October 10, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<strong>October 11</strong>

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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Clever librarians. You don't have to ask. <a href="https://t.co/xtifMiwJIf">pic.twitter.com/xtifMiwJIf</a></p>
— Tara Lazar's BLOOP is out now! (@taralazar) <a href="https://twitter.com/taralazar/status/1447575156705185793?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">October 11, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">I cannot stand story plots that revolve around a misunderstanding that could easily be communicated omg please stop doing theeemmm</p>
— michaela okland (@MichaelaOkla) <a href="https://twitter.com/MichaelaOkla/status/1447748590030360581?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">October 12, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">lowkey nervous heading into junior year of covid</p>
— Michael Kandel (@K_A_N_D_E_L) <a href="https://twitter.com/K_A_N_D_E_L/status/1447602699776761866?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">October 11, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">I did it. I asked "why should I work for you" in an interview<br>
<br>
🤭🤭</p>
— Carmela Montenegro (@chikychikycarm) <a href="https://twitter.com/chikychikycarm/status/1447657008803553283?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">October 11, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">megan fox and machine gun kelly are the angelina jolie and billy bob thornton for zoomers</p>
— 🎃peg bundy🎃 (@fatnudes) <a href="https://twitter.com/fatnudes/status/1447655492319330307?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">October 11, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<strong>October 12</strong>

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<p lang="und" dir="ltr"><a href="https://t.co/VyiTAsjJ3O">pic.twitter.com/VyiTAsjJ3O</a></p>
— katie (@skatie420) <a href="https://twitter.com/skatie420/status/1447999522156728335?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">October 12, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">megan fox and mgk bravely answering the question "is it possible to be so annoying you stop being hot?"</p>
— first-mate prance (@bocxtop) <a href="https://twitter.com/bocxtop/status/1447951720730873857?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">October 12, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">she lost her mind. <a href="https://t.co/Ykbn6S8Wqu">pic.twitter.com/Ykbn6S8Wqu</a></p>
— have you ever worn a seatbelt? (@pants_so_short) <a href="https://twitter.com/pants_so_short/status/1448147157081485316?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">October 13, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">girl, just let the call go to voicemail 😬 <a href="https://t.co/qJHsNTZucZ">pic.twitter.com/qJHsNTZucZ</a></p>
— toekneepraysick: the sequel (@tonypraysick) <a href="https://twitter.com/tonypraysick/status/1448022876469305345?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">October 12, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="und" dir="ltr"><a href="https://t.co/hfDXnJwKX0">pic.twitter.com/hfDXnJwKX0</a></p>
— return of the curse of the creature's john (@johnsemley3000) <a href="https://twitter.com/johnsemley3000/status/1447946711008153600?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">October 12, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">okay okay OKAY here are all 50 Ways to Leave Your Lover<br>
<br>
1. Slip out the back, Jack<br>
2. Make a new plan, Stan<br>
3. Hop on the bus, Gus<br>
4. Drop off the key, Lee<br>
5. Shit in the bed, Fred</p>
— blaaaaaaaaaines (@blainecapatch) <a href="https://twitter.com/blainecapatch/status/1447960079337017349?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">October 12, 2021</a></blockquote>
<script src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js"></script> October 13

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<p lang="und" dir="ltr"><a href="https://t.co/VUQY9Q5Dlq">pic.twitter.com/VUQY9Q5Dlq</a></p>
— Graph Crimes (@GraphCrimes) <a href="https://twitter.com/GraphCrimes/status/1448190784239554563?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">October 13, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">26 years into menstruating and I STILL have not learned that when I think "everything sucks and it will never ever get better" it means I will start bleeding in 48 hours.</p>
— Leila Cohan (@leilacohan) <a href="https://twitter.com/leilacohan/status/1448424714523664389?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">October 13, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Free skateboarding lessons are happening at a new skatepark in Detroit. Of course I had to show the kids something on <a href="https://twitter.com/Local4News?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">@Local4News</a>. In all seriousness - as a child, I would have killed for a new park and mentors in the skateboarding community. Glad to see it's happening in Detroit <a href="https://t.co/3fvC8VJvDq">pic.twitter.com/3fvC8VJvDq</a></p>
— VICTOR WILLIAMS (@NewsWithVictor) <a href="https://twitter.com/NewsWithVictor/status/1448488259710038018?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">October 14, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Ppl who reposted "i do not give facebook permission to take my account" in 2015 talking bout they doing research on the vaccine</p>
— K-Ci's (ooh yeah) (@frodeci) <a href="https://twitter.com/frodeci/status/1448499999659237376?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">October 14, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<strong>October 14</strong>

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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Interesting that the "facts don't care about your feelings" crowd are like, "I demand that schools teach a fictitious version of History that doesn't make me feel bad."</p>
— Julia Claire (@ohJuliatweets) <a href="https://twitter.com/ohJuliatweets/status/1448750999057965057?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">October 14, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">STRAIGHT INTO MY VEINS <a href="https://t.co/lVVh9xqbaO">pic.twitter.com/lVVh9xqbaO</a></p>
— 𓅃 UAE Exotic Falconry &amp; Finance (@FalconryFinance) <a href="https://twitter.com/FalconryFinance/status/1448776512639889416?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">October 14, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">I love that the name orangutan means "human of the forest" or "forest person" in the Malay language. They were just like "oh yeah that's the forest guy" and it's an orangutan</p>
— Roxy (@RoxyTall) <a href="https://twitter.com/RoxyTall/status/1448620934819053571?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">October 14, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Doxxing in 1500 bc: he lives over there 👉</p>
— Imad (@imadfunny) <a href="https://twitter.com/imadfunny/status/1448673463812636679?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">October 14, 2021</a></blockquote>
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Vish Khanna

This Funny Week in Funny Tweets: October 15, 2021

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