Jumper Doug Liman

Jumper Doug Liman
You can’t say that Doug Liman is a genius, but you can say that he makes tight little action packages that hang together fairly well. This makes the matter of Jumper all the more painful, because it’s a pathetic mess unlike anything in the director’s oeuvre.

The totally uncharismatic Hayden Christensen stars as a young man with the ability to teleport, a skill that allows him to rob banks and live the life of Riley, while saving on travel expenses. Sounds great, but there’s a group of meanies named the Paladins who not only want to destroy Christensen and all of his kind but are led by a comically white-haired Samuel L. Jackson. Will our hero be able to stop the Paladins before they kill him and the people he loves? Who cares?

The script is so perfunctory that the cast practically have to read the scene headings just to have something to do, not that the dull-as-particle-board Christensen and the confused/frightened/bewildered Rachel Bilson are up to the challenge of interpretation. (Those steps you hear are the sound of Jackson taking the money and running.)

However, the biggest problem seems to be studio tampering. Weighing in at less than 90 minutes, the movie’s berserk editing and awkward voiceovers could only have been panicked afterthoughts cobbled together in post, and the gerrymandered results don’t even feel like a movie.

It’s a slap in the face to the audience that they thought we’d buy this: there’s nothing good to say other than Jamie Bell barely leaves with his dignity intact, and that’s quite the achievement for a film whose concept had all of my friends salivating from the get-go. (Fox)