Bam Margera Presents: Where the #$&% is Santa?

While indeed, there was some humour in the minimalistic, quasi-ironic shenanigans of the Jackass boys back in the day, really nothing about the template suggested that a narrative structure was necessary or warranted. Unfortunately, with Bam Margera's irreverent little Christmas outing, not only is a narrative attempted but dialogue is forced into the mouths of non-actors and the hipster trappings - while more sincere than the douche bags in faded V-neck T-shirts, skin tight jeans and some sort of hat - are seriously archaic. There is just something sad about Margera and his little entourage touring down the streets in a matching cornflower blue hummer and Lamborghini, head-banging to their favourite music. The plot is equally crestfallen, with Bam deciding to take his crew to Finland to find the real Santa Claus, as a gift for his tartlet wife, Missy. In the interim, when not getting the crap kicked out of him, Bam's friend Brandon Novak makes a bet with a mentally handicapped dwarf that he can score more tail in Finland than the dwarf can in West Chester, PA. Of course, Jimmy Pop gets involved, offering the dwarf tips on how to pick up the ladies, while the boys in Finland sodomize each other with severed reindeer penises, poop out reindeer eyes whole, share witticisms with the lead singer of Hanoi Rocks and get various tattoos. Nothing about the film is even remotely amusing and acts only as a fond reminder of the days when the tomfoolery involved defecating in hardware store display toilets, inserting toy cars up one's rectum for the sheer purpose of documenting the reaction of a Japanese doctor and urinating on an electric fence. The DVD includes many deleted scenes involving the dry humping of an ice sculpture and the drinking of candles, in addition to a "Naughty photo gallery of Santa's Sexy helpers," which is essentially a bunch of pictures of the gang in a hot tub with some topless skank whose plastic cockeyed breasts look like something out of a sci-fi movie. Plus: Jimmy Pop in a Speedo.