Let's face it, considering the pointless minutiae of office life, us cubicle jockeys need a time-out at least a couple of times a day to make that 40-hour work week bearable. Some get by with vids of French bulldog puppies doing a cute trick, while others manage to guffaw at an endless barrage of tire swing bloopers. For some of us, though, well, we like our bite-sized entertainment a little more hardcore. So raise your mugs of lukewarm office coffee in the air with us as we celebrate a few of the best breast shots and horror gore to grace our screens this year. Not too high, though -- your manager is just dying to get some of the perverts off the payroll.
Top 5 NSFW Videos of 2011:
5. Stars "Changes"
The NSFW acronym generally brings to mind the seedier stuff, but there's such grace and beauty bursting from the building-wide dance routine of the stark-naked "Changes" star. Surrounded by the opulence of Toronto's Elgin & Winter Garden Theatre, she pirouettes like a prima ballerina, but all the same, she's bare-ass naked for the bulk of the production. You'll be hard-pressed to explain the difference between high art and the stripper scene when your boss busts you for ogling this cheeky clip.
4. Dirty Beaches "Speedway King"
With its stark arrangement of late-night driving shots and blur of neon carnival signs, this video's Lynchian, Lost Highway-style qualities are creepy enough, but quick cuts of a girl clinically opening herself up to the extreme are what sound off our "inappropriate" alarm -- especially since she's seemingly not doing this in the bedroom or the doctor's office, but from the trunk of a car.
3. Handsome Furs "What About Us"
North Americans tend to be a little uptight when it comes to sex, but with a video like this, can you blame them? Scored by the band's pulsing electro-pop throb, the bulk of the erotic ensemble gathered here are chomping at the bit to get busy in the middle of the street and public parks, while others seem content doing stripteases underneath a bridge. Full frontal breast and penis shots run rampant in this one. Unless they're into a lot of out-in-the-open clawing and grinding, prudish patrons of this unknown cityscape might want to reroute their trip home.
2. Sebastian X "Total X"
Like Brutal Truth's "Collateral Damage" clip before it, Sebastian X's "Total X" video packages a hefty barrage of barf-inducing images in its short run time. Bottles shoved into orifices, bloody Manga clips, hillbilly sex shows -- it's all around unsettling. If you're angling to have images of Bart Simpson and Rainbow Brite subliminally associated with some raunchy lady sniffing a fat guy's asshole, bon appetite. Seriously, take heed of our warning. Once you watch it, you can't unwatch it.
SEBASTIAN TOTAL (X rated) by revenge001
1. Jacuzzi Boys "Glazin"
A gold mine of inappropriateness, this uncommissioned clip was sent to Jacuzzi Boys by six girls that have no problem, uh, lip-synching to the band's raucous garage pop cut "Glazin." Clearly graduates from Vajazzling College, the ladies decked out their delicates with glitter, googly eyes and fishing line, interspersing the clip with a handful of crotchety characters. Our favourite include the Venus fly trap, the octopus and Santa Claus. It's hilarious and extremely nasty. If ever the letters NSFW stood for something, it's this.
Top 5 NSFW Videos of 2011:
5. Stars "Changes"
The NSFW acronym generally brings to mind the seedier stuff, but there's such grace and beauty bursting from the building-wide dance routine of the stark-naked "Changes" star. Surrounded by the opulence of Toronto's Elgin & Winter Garden Theatre, she pirouettes like a prima ballerina, but all the same, she's bare-ass naked for the bulk of the production. You'll be hard-pressed to explain the difference between high art and the stripper scene when your boss busts you for ogling this cheeky clip.
4. Dirty Beaches "Speedway King"
With its stark arrangement of late-night driving shots and blur of neon carnival signs, this video's Lynchian, Lost Highway-style qualities are creepy enough, but quick cuts of a girl clinically opening herself up to the extreme are what sound off our "inappropriate" alarm -- especially since she's seemingly not doing this in the bedroom or the doctor's office, but from the trunk of a car.
3. Handsome Furs "What About Us"
North Americans tend to be a little uptight when it comes to sex, but with a video like this, can you blame them? Scored by the band's pulsing electro-pop throb, the bulk of the erotic ensemble gathered here are chomping at the bit to get busy in the middle of the street and public parks, while others seem content doing stripteases underneath a bridge. Full frontal breast and penis shots run rampant in this one. Unless they're into a lot of out-in-the-open clawing and grinding, prudish patrons of this unknown cityscape might want to reroute their trip home.
2. Sebastian X "Total X"
Like Brutal Truth's "Collateral Damage" clip before it, Sebastian X's "Total X" video packages a hefty barrage of barf-inducing images in its short run time. Bottles shoved into orifices, bloody Manga clips, hillbilly sex shows -- it's all around unsettling. If you're angling to have images of Bart Simpson and Rainbow Brite subliminally associated with some raunchy lady sniffing a fat guy's asshole, bon appetite. Seriously, take heed of our warning. Once you watch it, you can't unwatch it.
SEBASTIAN TOTAL (X rated) by revenge001
1. Jacuzzi Boys "Glazin"
A gold mine of inappropriateness, this uncommissioned clip was sent to Jacuzzi Boys by six girls that have no problem, uh, lip-synching to the band's raucous garage pop cut "Glazin." Clearly graduates from Vajazzling College, the ladies decked out their delicates with glitter, googly eyes and fishing line, interspersing the clip with a handful of crotchety characters. Our favourite include the Venus fly trap, the octopus and Santa Claus. It's hilarious and extremely nasty. If ever the letters NSFW stood for something, it's this.
Jacuzzi Boys - Glazin' (CENSORED) from Jacuzzi Gals on Vimeo.
