The Darcys Need You to Know That Their Christmas Song Is Not About Dicks

"There's nothing wrong with adding another dick to the fire, but we just didn't write the song about that"

Photo: Maya Fuhr

BY Kaelen BellPublished Dec 24, 2021

In 2017, the Darcys released a vaguely sexy Christmas song called "Another Log on the Fire." A lyrical sampling goes something like this: "I can see your silhouette baby / In the Christmas lights' glow / I wanna feel more connected / I wanna be more attentive."

Some light holiday horniness! However, according to an Instagram video posted by the Darcys' Wes Marskell, someone out there took the song's smouldering chorus — "So tonight / Throw another log on the fire / 'Cause baby you know I'm not tired" — in a more allegorical sense, interpreting the titular logs as burning penises. 

"So I'm in this coffee shop and this woman starts yelling at me, 'You're the gross guy who wrote that song about two dicks,' and I was like what?" Marskell said in the Instagram video, going on to describe how the woman allegedly thought that "throwing another log on the fire" meant incorporating a second dick into your holiday lovemaking, which would apparently be very uncouth and maybe even sounds a little — gasp! — gay?

It's not totally clear what's supposed to be so gross about that concept, but if you're yelling at people in coffee shops about imagined penis metaphors, you're probably a pretty independent thinker. 

Marskell wanted to make it clear to anyone who somehow came to the same conclusion that the song is not in fact about extra penises and that the logs are simply logs, saying: "There's nothing wrong with adding another dick to the fire, but we just didn't write the song about that."

He closes the video on a note of sex positivity and holiday cheer, telling his followers "no matter how many logs you wanna add to your fire, we hope you have a wonderful, happy holiday."

Check out the video, and revisit "Another Log on the Fire" below. 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

A post shared by The Darcys (@thedarcys)

 

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