Sportique Modern Museums

Sportique is the product of one former Television Personalities guitarist and a member of the less-than-seminal Razorcuts, who for a short time recorded for Creation during the early years. Sounding like a bunch of old gits who never got over the late ’70s punk movement, Sportique is an extension of the obsessive art-school punk that gave the Television Personalities their infamous reputation. On Modern Museums, the band managed to rope in Rob Pursey and Amelia Fletcher (Marine Research, Heavenly and Talulah Gosh) to spread their message. The result is a collection of Cockney-accented complaints that make Shane McGowan’s voice sound angelic, but most offensive of all is the blatant rip-off of the Sex Pistols’ legendary "Pretty Vacant” riff on "The Dying Fly.” What makes this record even more deplorable is the yearning to go back to the past of "Definition Seventy-Nine.” We already know they miss their glory years by the sound of the music, but admitting it in the chorus is never a good way of communicating with the modern age. Here’s to hoping they somehow find a way to travel back in the past, because Sportique is definitely not a band we need at this moment. (Matinee)