Priest Claims He Was Tortured by Rihanna's "Umbrella" During Temporary Trip to Hell

Gerald Johnson, who temporarily "died" during a heart attack, alleges Bobby McFerrin's "Don't Worry Be Happy" was also present

BY Megan LaPierrePublished Jan 27, 2023

The year was 1987 when Belinda Carlisle first presented us with the revelatory notion that heaven was a place on Earth. Then, in 2022, Alvvays made the all-important addendum: "Well, so is hell."

Now, a Michigan pastor has found more terrestrial musical connections to the latter, claiming that he was tortured by Rihanna's 2007 hit "Umbrella" and 1988's "Don't Worry Be Happy" by Bobby McFerrin when he briefly went to hell (not the one on Earth) during a heart attack — which he says is proof that pop music is the work of the devil.

In 2016, Gerald Johnson apparently suffered a heart attack, during which his soul "left" his "physical body." Despite being a servant of the lord, he says he was shockingly denied entry to heaven and instead sent to the gates of hell amid this temporary "death."

"I thought I was going upward, because I thought that I had done so much good in this lifetime and helped so many people and made so many decisions that were Godly decisions," he recounted in a TikTok, because where else would one tell a story like this?

He continued, "But as opposed to me going up, I went down. I went literally into the centre of the Earth. That's where Hell is."

There, at the Earth's fiery core, he was met with something familiar: the songs of Rihanna and McFerrin. While "Umbrella" is an undeniable pop radio mainstay and "Don't Worry Be Happy" has been sung by a great many Big Mouth Billy Bass animatronic fish, they're seemingly also staples in the karaoke catalogue of demons — and, according to Johnson, the melodies were used as a form of torture.

"There was a section in Hell where music was playing," he alleged. "It was the same music we hear on the Earth, but opposed to entertainers singing it, demons were singing it. While up here, you can listen to music to get over a breakup like, 'Don't Worry Be Happy' or 'Umbrella,' but down there, every lyric to every song is to torment you."

Best of luck to whoever is leaning on "Umbrella" to mend their broken heart. The reverend went on to claim that, here in our Earthly realm, "a lot of the lyrics and music" are actually inspired by these demons. What an ouroboros predicament!

Johnson explained, "People come into contact with demons who give them lyrics for the purpose of controlling people on Earth." That's a pretty strong accusation against the wealthiest woman in music, but go off I guess?

You can watch the viral clip below if the demons using Sam Smith and Kim Petras's current not-so-subtle chart-topper as a mouthpiece permit.
 
@geraldajohnson1 My experience when I saw hell in February 2016. I'll never be the same after that. #hell #jesus #unforgiveness #forgive #godsaid #encouragement #geraldajohnson #jesuslovesyou #moveforward ♬ original sound - Gerald Johnson
 

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