Group Petitions White House for National Day of Slayer

Group Petitions White House for National Day of Slayer
Slayer fans are quickly proving themselves the most devoted musical followers ever.

If you step into your Wayback Machine and set the dial for 2006, you'll recall that June 6 was proclaimed Slayer Day by a group known as National Day of Slayer, which has been renamed International Day of Slayer due to its overwhelming global popularity. The day was announced because of both its 6/6/'06 calendar date and as a direct rebellion against the National Day of Prayer. It has since blossomed into an annual event where every June 6 metal fans celebrate their hirsute, cranium-splitting ways.

An elite group of Slaytanic goons deeming themselves the International Day of Slayer Task Force is taking the revelry a step further. They've actually penned an eloquent petition and shipped it off to the White House, along with a copy of Reign in Blood, appealing to U.S. President Barack Obama to declare June 6 an official holiday for all metal fans, Slayer or otherwise.

Says Brett Stevens, a member of the International Day of Slayer Task Force, "Heavy metal music is the central belief of a culture that exists among us, and Slayer are the perfect spokesperson. We are a pluralistic nation composed of many cultures, some of which you're born into and some you choose. For many of us, metal becomes the only culture that makes sense, and it's only fair we get representation."

The proclamation reads:

WHEREAS, Hessians are a legitimate elective culture that should be recognized with their own national day of celebration and

WHEREAS, Slayer is freaking awesome and one of the most influential metal bands in history and

WHEREAS, The theme of the National Day of Slayer is "Don't go to work, listen to Slayer," which reflects the imminent importance of Slayer in the lives of hessians across America and

NOW, THEREFORE I, Barack Obama, PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, hereby proclaim the day of June 6, 2009, as National Day of Slayer, saluting the valuable artistic contributions of the band Slayer and the legitimacy of the hessian culture that supports them. And I call upon all Americans to listen to Slayer on this day and every day hereafter.

Can you imagine a government bill with the term "freaking awesome" in it?