Sophie Leif Bristow

Sophie Leif Bristow
The titular character's (Brittany Bristow) family owns some sort of ersatz zoo for hippies and other social outcasts, where she bonds with her pet elephant, Sheba, when not practicing ballet. When the zoo falls on hard times — that damn economy! — her parents make the tough decision to sell the elephant to a travelling circus (the kind that only exists in Mexico these days and isn't even successful there), leaving Sophie devastated and on a mission for recovery, which is stated through emotionless exposition.

Within ten minutes of the movie starting, Sophie is at the circus telling the elephant trainer that he's doing his job incorrectly: "You can't treat an animal like that!" And while he doesn't like that, comely, voluptuous trapeze artist Natalia (Erica Durance) likes her spunk, which she states matter-of-factly without any real context or believability.

The circus owner similarly likes her fire, and presumably her bizarre tendency to say everything in a heightened, melodramatic manner that doesn't at all resemble reality, and gives her a job. While working there, she learns a thing or two about herself, life, elephants and homely, monosyllabic boys. The message is vaguely Christian, ensuring that at least the Kirk Cameron crowd will get a kick out of the ensuing kookiness and bizarrely flat aesthetic, seeing as they love things that don't at all mirror the real world.

Because this is such a low budget Canadian film intended for children — think the LeVar Burton directed reindeer movie Blizzard — there is a desire to look past the many flaws for the little bit of good and focus on that.

I tried my damnedest to find something nice to say about Sophie, some sort of reason for it existing, or some sort of redeeming feature. All I came up with is this: "Looking past the atrocious, expository dialogue, porn-quality performances and incompetent direction, Sophie does seem somewhat sincere and should appeal to compound-bound Mormons that are experiencing the magic of celluloid for the first time."

Oh, and drunk people might find it funny. (D Films)