Gwyneth Paltrow Says She Went "Totally Off the Rails" by Eating Bread During Quarantine

Gwyneth Paltrow Says She Went 'Totally Off the Rails' by Eating Bread During Quarantine
The internet needs Gwyneth Paltrow. Whether it's her exploding vagina candle, her ambivalence toward acting or her trashy yet watchable Netflix show, she's always good to churn out a ridiculous statement or product that seems like a Clickhole bit but is, in fact, a slice of real life. Up next, she's opened up about her quarantine with a characteristically out-of-touch quote.

While the COVID-19 pandemic has taken an immeasurably heavy toll on every facet of life — one that we will likely be examining and trying to understand for decades to come — Gwyneth's experience has been decidedly different. In fact, her most difficult misstep was choosing alcohol and carbs.

In a new interview with the Mirror, Paltrow said that she had been drinking up to two cocktails a night during quarantine. She also added that she had gone "off the rails" by eating bread and making pasta.

"I drank alcohol during quarantine," she said, thus fuelling the fire of discourse for a few more weeks before she delivers some perineum-scented potpourri or whatever else she's got cooking. "I was drinking seven nights a week and making pasta and eating bread. I went totally off the rails."

She continued: "I mean, who drinks multiple drinks seven nights a week? Like that's not healthy. I love whiskey and I make this fantastic drink called the Buster Paltrow, which I named after my grandfather who loved whiskey sours."

Even Gwyneth's twice nightly drinking habit is decidedly Goop, however — she admitted that she prefers a quinoa whiskey from a distillery in Tennessee.

Perhaps they'll serve it on her upcoming Goop cruise