Degrassi Goes Hollywood

Apparently, there are many people out there that love the exploits of the Degrassi kids, seemingly unfazed by their inability to act, sin, or mimic believable human movements. Maybe it's the kitsch factor, or nostalgia for the kooky shenanigans of Stephanie K and Wheels, but it's certainly not the writing or the oppressive preaching that keep them tuning in. Regardless, the bobble-heads are back for a Hollywood visit, as directed by Stefan "Snake" Brogren, with the sort of visual aplomb one might expect from an above-average porn film. Seriously, character heads are cut off in key scenes, close-ups are used at the strangest of moments and most of the coverage doesn't fit together. This television movie finds Paige (Lauren Collins) living in Hollywood as an assistant to Hailey (Mary Ashton), the star of a Hills-like reality series called The Shores. While Ellie (Stacey Farber) and Marco (Adamo Ruggiero) head south of the border to visit their obnoxious friend, Manny (Cassie Steele) auditions for a High School Musical-style film written and directed by Jason Mewes. No joke. In an unlikely turn of events, Paige wins the lead in the movie, leading Manny to travel on a school bus with Jay (Mike Lobel) and a handful of other Degrassi kids to Hollywood, where dreams apparently do come true. By acknowledging the superficiality of American celebrity culture by having Paige turn into a typical celebutante, flashing her beaver at the paparazzi and showing up late for rehearsal, Degrassi Goes Hollywood tries to play like satire but is too convoluted and rooted in cliché to pull it off. Exacerbating this issue is the presence of such vulgarity as Perez Hilton and a tendency for the characters to run around looking for Ben Affleck, seemingly unaware that they can pop Phantoms in the DVD player at any time to have themselves a look. In short, this movie is a piece of garbage, but fans of the series might find a couple of things to Twitter each other about. No supplements come with the DVD.