Wednesday 13 Transylvania 90210

Like the title of this album suggests, this is a ridiculous effort that will give you the urge to pick this up and throw it out the window. Looking like he and his back-up band raided Marilyn Manson’s makeup bag, Wednesday 13 and his crew sound as horrible as they dress. As Wednesday sings on about his oh-so-typical fantasies — death, violence, morgues, blood, zombies, cemeteries, and finding love on Halloween — the band plods through some heavy bass lines and cheesy metal riffs. Wednesday sounds like he’s looking to be the next Rob Zombie, but aspiring to be compared to a crusty-haired weirdo who sounds like he just licked an ashtray isn’t saying much. The lyrics are as dark as the band’s lipstick, and the words "dead”, "dying” and "death” pop up around 21 times on this album, as Wednesday sings on about how murder should be legalised. That kind of mentality could explain a lot here. (Roadrunner)