Tom Segura

Olympia Theatre, Montreal QC, July 26

BY John PricePublished Jul 27, 2017

9
Montreal's historic Olympia Theatre is a sweet venue, one that has been host to some of Just For Laugh's most notable comedians — that's where Tom Segura is right now. It's no sudden feat; there have been a pair of successful Netflix specials, and he's been a favoured frequent guest on notable podcasts. But it's evident by the enthusiasm in this room that he's hitting peak game. His "No Teeth, No Entry" tour is packing houses from Montreal to Melbourne.
 
There's not a great deal of time spent on local gibes when he first hits the stage. He does mention having a salad earlier on Montreal's Rue St. Denis, and calls it Saint Dennis. He went to Catholic school, but still can't recall a Saint Dennis. He says Montreal's a cool city, but he'd rather be home. That's what he thinks when he enters any room, he says, and isn't that what everybody thinks? He points out that we don't have to go anywhere, ever. You can stay at home and order an "eagle beak," and Amazon goes BRAP!
 
This begins a beautifully streamlined set that is artful to watch. His soft delivery is known for taking sharp turns, but he doesn't take long getting to the meaty stuff — it looks like a strong theme tonight is correctness. You feel, at times, there are those in the audience that may be uncomfortable, but Segura is masterful at defusing that. It starts with retarded — he's bummed you can't say retarded anymore. Should he say that guy has "an extra chromosome 21"? And you can't say gayin the schoolyard sense. These days, you can only use gay to describe ten naked dudes, dicks in asses. But the one he really misses is midget. It was so specific; you knew exactly what it meant. If someone describes a "little person,", that's confusing. "What, you mean like a child?"; "No, under four-foot-one with the weird hands."
 
Also, racial stereotypes. He doesn't believe in them, "Unless you're a sushi chef, an accountant or a long-distance runner." He's also happy to point out that white racial slurs are fair game: cracker, honkey, pollock, mick. Call up your Italian buddy and call him a wop, he'll shrug and say "Okay." And by the way — there's no white loyalty. If a black guy sees another black guy getting shitkicked, he's getting involved. If a white guy sees another white guy in a similar bind, then "Fuck that guy. Probably deserved it."
 
There are other racy subjects to be explored — ass-eating comes up a couple of times — and that is often the test. If you're good enough, anything works. Funny is funny, and Tom Segura is precisely that.

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