September 9
"Would Bernie have won?" pic.twitter.com/1BCE4QEVlQ
β Marcus H. Johnson (@marcushjohnson) September 10, 2017
actually overheard in ER:
β Kate Hart (@Kate_Hart) September 9, 2017
nurse: "Who's the president?"
patient: "Oh GOD."
Cop pulls over a black man for failure to signal, walks to his car with his gun drawn... Black dude is my fucking heroπ―π―π―π―π―ππππππππππππππππ pic.twitter.com/S8ef8Mx4Kk
β SIX_FOOT_5 (@Choco_Optimus) September 10, 2017
September 10
WH aide tweets image of MIA airport under water. MIA says that's not us. pic.twitter.com/MkbC5zrA9Y
β Jim Acosta (@Acosta) September 10, 2017
lmao pic.twitter.com/lUNu49L8Rl
β CITIZEN KRANG (@KrangTNelson) September 10, 2017
Say what you will about white people, nobody is better at coming up with new ways to spell Hayley.
β Ken Jennings (@KenJennings) September 11, 2017
September 11
Me waiting for Ted Cruz to respond to this drama pic.twitter.com/Iy4BBHpyY6
β Matthew D'Ambrosioβ’ (@drmattdambrosio) September 12, 2017
Don't want to wait for Part 2 of IT, the movie? You can always read IT, the book. Just sayin'.
β Stephen King (@StephenKing) September 11, 2017
My hedgehog had babies last night & they are about the cutest lil nutsacks I've ever seen π pic.twitter.com/Fr2FAugutq
β maura (@painthands) September 11, 2017
rt if you think this cat is doing an amazing job pic.twitter.com/byNWuLi5si
β rae paoletta (@PAYOLETTER) September 12, 2017
Bernie Sanders your silence on Ted Cruz jacking off is deafening
β Jake Flores (@feraljokes) September 12, 2017
September 12
Don't forget to vote in the New York primary today! And that Ted Cruz was spankin' it on 9/11.
β Full Frontal (@FullFrontalSamB) September 12, 2017
ted cruz liking porn on twitter on 9/11 is wild there's literally no way we don't live in the matrix
β elijah daniel (@elijahdaniel) September 12, 2017
Hunger Games Synopsis
β regal trash bitch (@meatgrindr) September 12, 2017
Katniss: I'm in over my head, the govt wants me dead, I'm scared
Both Male Leads: Ok but do you LIKE like me
I'm such a loser, I had NO IDEA there was porn on twitter. I thought it was 95% people re-litigating the 2016 Dem primary and 5% corgis.
β Blue Heron Farm (@BlueHeronFarmTX) September 12, 2017
The only feature I want in a new iPhone is that it does not accept phone calls
β Jill Twiss (@jilltwiss) September 13, 2017
when u block someone u should be able to write a note saying why u blocked them so when they hit 'learn more' it's like ay John ur a racist
β ella (@caffeinatedeyes) September 13, 2017
why does my microwave have a CHAOS MODE pic.twitter.com/feV8M6uxQx
β aoife (@AoifeeO) September 12, 2017
How can I be a misogynist if I live in my MOM's basement
β Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin) September 12, 2017
September 13
Sold. pic.twitter.com/OSFwtBI9I5
β Hannibal Buress (@hannibalburess) September 13, 2017
you: Asian names are hard
β νΌν (@noahjussi) September 13, 2017
you: I love the music of Tchaikovsky
you: Schwarzenegger movies are great
you: my fav Targaryen is Daenerys
-AIDS medication
β rachel axler (@rachelaxler) September 14, 2017
-unreleased wu tang album
-lock of hillary's hair
poor shkreli, jailed RIGHT before collecting all the potion ingredients
Who Trump Has Called Racist on Twitter:
β Keith Boykin (@keithboykin) September 14, 2017
Barack Obama
Bryant Gumbel
Tavis Smiley
Toure
Blackish
Django Unchained
Who He Hasn't:
Racists
I, for one, welcome the world's coolest dog. pic.twitter.com/MnzNvlvvTh
β Justice Don Willett (@JusticeWillett) September 14, 2017
September 14
As you can see, the diversity of this @FoxNews white supremacy panel represents the entire spectrum, from "baby powder" to "old potato." pic.twitter.com/aoqHFdrxpN
β Lauren Duca (@laurenduca) September 14, 2017
You never hear about Regional Geographic. I'd get a subscription to that shit.
β George Wallace (@MrGeorgeWallace) September 15, 2017
Under the Constitution, the House tweets. If the Senate retweets, it goes to the President, who favs it into law.
β Ryan Teague Beckwith (@ryanbeckwith) September 14, 2017
That time when this young unknown artist opened for Rick James. Please look at what he wrote in the "position" section. #HeKnew #tbt pic.twitter.com/vMljMGYLdi
β COMMON (@common) September 14, 2017
How DOES it feel Tammy? pic.twitter.com/kL93Vhy5qM
β jordan πΉπΉ (@JordanUhl) September 15, 2017
the new iphone costs $999, a dog costs as little as $50 to adopt. what do u want, 1 iPhone or nearly 20 dogs ??? All I'm sayin
β Taylor Nicole Dean (@taylorndean) September 14, 2017
September 15
smdh, NASA really fucked up here pic.twitter.com/L6s1oiWHXC
β Pixelated Boat (@pixelatedboat) September 15, 2017
Standing in the street holding this and a cab driver looked at me, drove past and picked up a white lady 10 ft behind me. Amazing. pic.twitter.com/thotzVv0Ud
β Travon Free (@Travon) September 15, 2017
