The Stains "Professionals"

The Stains "Professionals"
I'm kind of obsessed with Ladies and Gentlemen, the Fabulous Stains. Thankfully, Rhino gave this lost classic a long-overdue DVD release last week and having just recently seen it for the first time I can't believe this gem is such a heavily guarded secret. Lou Adler's 1981 cult favourite stars a 15-year-old Diane Lane as Corinne Burns, an orphaned proto-riot grrrl who starts a band called the Stains with her sister and cousin (a teenage Laura Dern) and go on tour with the Looters (a punk supergroup featuring Sex Pistols' Steve Jones and Paul Cook, the Clash's Paul Simonon and Ray "Sexy Beast" Winstone as the front-man), and in turn become an underground sensation thanks to Corinne's individualism.

Perhaps even more surprising than the secrecy of the film is the fact that the soundtrack is currently M.I.A. Sure, it would have been nice if Rhino had remastered and issued it alongside the DVD but despite Best Buy and Amazon listing vinyl and MP3 releases, it's impossible to find any trace of evidence that the soundtrack ever existed (the credits at the end of the film do say it was released, as does the IMDb listing).

The reason for my desperation is the two songs performed by the Stains in the movie: "Waste of Time" and "Professionals," a cover of a song written by the post-Pistols-era Cook and Jones and first performed by the Looters. It's hard to believe these songs were written solely for this movie because they far exceed the usual garbage commissioned for rock'n'roll flicks.

Unfortunately there is no audio clip for "Waste of Time" but I've managed to dig up a very low-grade one for "Professionals." Yeah, the quality is shit but it's enough to demonstrate the punky new wave splendour the Stains provided back in 1981. I understand that the film received limited release from Paramount and was never really given a chance, but this is the kind of pop song that could have made these teen actors try their hand at a real music career. Where was the marketing team on this? Major ball-drop if you ask me.

I'm officially begging and pleading for either Rhino or any label able to track down the masters to give this soundtrack its rightful release because the music deserves to live on outside of the film.

The Stains "Professionals"

The Stains "Professionals"


Movie trailer


I just discovered that you can watch the entire movie on YouTube, so without further ado...