Current fixations: Fixing things.
Mind-altering work of art: AC/DC's "Let There Be Melting Clocks."
Most memorable or inspirational gig and why? They are all so memorable, each and every one is like a child that you bring into the world and show them that world and then send them on their way, saying "Go forth all ye shows of Sloan, go forth and spread the word to the world."
What has been your career high and low?
High: Getting asked to do this thing.
Low: Actually having to do it (classic hard rock answer for these things).
What should everyone shut up about? White trash.
I would drop everything to play a benefit for? People who drop everything, klutzomaniacs.
What trait do you like and dislike most about yourself? It's hard to find a trait that I both like and dislike. I suppose indecision.
What would make you kick someone out of your band and/or bed, and have you? Getting their sneakers on my pillow, and yes I have.
When I think of Canada I think? Snowball fight.
What is your vital daily ritual? Get up, avoid the world, eventually have to deal with the world, pound a couple, go to bed.
How do you spoil yourself? See above.
What was your most memorable day job? A memorist, trying to remember things that other people had forgotten.
If I wasn't playing music I would be? Either waiting for the sound check to start or the show to begin. Or maybe the show would be over, in which case I'd be waiting to leave.
What is your greatest fear? Being afraid.
If you had a superpower, what would it be? Constipation.
What makes you want to take it off and get it on? My clothes being on fire and a bucket of water (tee hee).
Music and sex: Is there a difference? Why? Music is a Madonna album, whereas Sex is a Madonna book.
Strangest brush with celebrity: A bronze Ronald McDonald sitting on a bronze park bench. Not much of a talker.
Who would be your ideal dinner guest, living or dead, and what would you serve them? How boring.
What does your mom wish you were doing instead? Having kids.
Illustration by Elaine Hsu