Metal's Top Ten Speeding Ticket Songs

Metal's Top Ten Speeding Ticket Songs
We all have them: the songs that immediately get your adrenaline pumping and cause you to lose any sense of rationality. Once that riff, drum beat or solo kicks in, you start caterwauling at the top of your lungs, slamming the wheel and "fuckin' givin' 'er," as us metallions say. Those albums and/or tracks are drivin' tunes, songs that make the trip a little easier, the foot a little heavier and the tickets a lot more expensive.

Partly through experience and partly because we think you might have fun testing our theory, we wanted to present you - well, the Aggressive Tendencies fans, at least - with what we feel are ten of our top heavy metal speeding ticket songs.

Keep in mind this list is not definitive. These are just our favourites. And if you do opt to challenge us by spinning these tracks, we assume no responsibility for fines or demerit points incurred.

Metal's Top Ten Speeding Ticket Songs:

"Drugged and Driving"
Dayglo Abortions Here Today... Guano Tomorrow, 1987
It's a song about having to swallow your stash and then outrun the pigs et to a riff Tony Iommi wishes he'd created and having some pretty severe tempo changes at that. 'Nuff said.

Extreme Aggression, 1989
Anger hath no fury like a woman scorned. Or a German metal dude, for that matter. This song works for people driving somewhere when pissed off at anything: work, loved ones, other drivers. From the instant insanity and screaming opening line, "This is a song which I use to describe how I feel about people like you," to the brain cell-obliterating bridge, it's fossil fuel's worst enemy/the policeman's ball's trust fund.

So Far, So Good... So What!, 1988
Another tune dedicated to getting blasted and just driving as fast/far as you can before getting nailed. Fueled by cigarettes, burgers, caffeine and alcohol, who could argue? Not only that, but the double-time feel and super-cool car crash that pulls it back to the solo make you wanna redefine road rage.

Kill 'Em All, 1983
It was either this or "Dyer's Eve" for the obligatory Metallica contribution. Since you can't hear the damned bass on "Dyer's Eve" and this one features Cliff Motherfuckin' Burton, it's a no-brainer. That cool drum fill at the beginning - one of the only times Lars did something right - sets a pretty nifty pace.

Suicidal Tendencies
Suicidal Tendencies, 1983
Screaming your brain off about not being crazy at a hyperactive pace rules. Imagine how it looks to other drivers though. Oh, wait! They won't see you because you'll be zinging by them at top speed, until you stop for a Pepsi, that is.

Torment In Fire, 1987
Go up to any Canadian metalhead and ask if they know what the Power Hour is. Virtually guaranteed they'll scream, "Reanimateeeeeddddd" at the top of their lungs and go into a retarded air guitar solo while grunting the main riff. Imagine doing that while in control of 3,000 pounds of steel and rubber barrelling across asphalt at triple-digits. Yes, the song is that cool.

"Jesus Built My Hot Rod"
Psalm 69, 1992
It's been almost 20 years since Gibby Haynes did anything cool, and the last thing was a song with his buddies in Ministry, go figure. While it may seem like the song title has something to do with how raging this track is, it actually doesn't matter. Haynes is just babbling, but the way it flows with the relentless pace of the beat just gets those aortas - and carburetors - pumping.

"Iron Fist"
Iron Fist, 1982
This and "Snaggletooth" are some severely rockin' numbers, even by Motörhead standards. Catchy choruses, an upbeat pace and, it's Motörhead. What do you expect? You're going to be chain smoking, swigging whatever's on-hand as if it were a bottle of Jack Daniel's and sneering at the cops as they struggle to catch up with you.

"All Hell Breaks Loose"
Walk Among Us, 1982
It's not an outright metal tune but a) it's the Misfits, and other than Motörhead, the Misfits are the only true crossover band for both punks and metal heads, and b) "All Hell Breaks Loose" is their most metal tune that just continues to get increasingly aggressive and rabid as it plays out. You start off just kind of rockin' away, but by the end, you're setting land speed records and frothing at the mouth while bellowing along with Danzig.

"Angel of Death"
Reign In Blood, 1986
Actually, Reign In Blood as a whole is worthy. See if you can go the whole 29 minutes at top speed without getting nabbed.

For fun, here's that Misfits tune: