Metallica and Lou Reed

This is what it's come to? Sloppily executed, rambling, second-rate, experimental Metallica tunes with Lou Reed doing his perennially boring mumble/talk over top? For two CDs? There is the occasional good riff in there, like the Sabbath-ian rumble of "The View," but having Reed reciting spoken word quickly renders it useless. Songs like "Frustration" and "Mistress Dread" (which may actually be the worst song I've heard in my life) are so useless, annoying and pretentious that they're actually hard to comprehend. This sounds like two really bad radio stations playing at the same time, but the jackass DJ talking is somehow talking out of tune and the dudes in the band are sloppy and way too concerned with blowing their load to have any concept that there are other dudes playing with them. Listening to this album, which isn't something I'd recommend under any circumstance, is like having the drunk on the back of the bus talking to you about how he's running for mayor while you're listening to bullshit, overarching, unfocused demos from St. Anger on your headphones, just hoping this guy shuts up soon so you don't lose the flow of whatever relentless 11-minute song is currently sound-tracking your journey through three municipalities as you fall further and further into depression's grip. Granted, Lulu's production qualities are pretty cool ― raw in a good way, with a huge, thick guitar tone ― but this album is going to make you like Metallica even less, just when we thought they were finally starting to heal some of the ol' wounds. The best that can be said about this insane, insulting slap to the face of anyone who actually still pays money for music (and they won't after buying this) is that Metallica don't care what anyone thinks about them. Maybe it's time we stop pretending that's a good thing and actually ask them for a bit more.